Ritual Breaking of Suburban Wives 02

Chapter 2: The Story Behind the Story

(Backstory, not so heavy in the pain-domination-sex thing. But hey, check back for Chapter 3 on that!)

Here I am, Brooke of a nice suburban neighborhood in LA, naked on a long leather-padded table in a living room. My arms and legs are trussed up on a spreader bar, and I'm gagged in a row with seven other women, some of whom I know. The cruel Matriarch behind us is whipping the woman's ass raw next to me with a heavy leather strap. That poor woman is Nicole. I've known her since our kids were in elementary school together. We've shared countless glasses of wine in our kitchens and backyards, and shared the confidences that wives share. And yet, she's bucking and thrashing and screaming and crying through her ball-gag harness as she gets the living shit whipped out of her. But that's not the weird thing. The weird thing is that my husband Dave and I are the only newcomers tonight. Nicole has done this before, and she's back for more.

I know exactly what Nicole's going through. She is third in line on this table. I was second. After watching poor Anass take it on the ass from the cruel Matriarch's strap, I got to endure it myself. And I do mean endure. After one session with that thing, I can't imagine volunteering for a second time. And yet, that's obviously what Anass and Nicole have done. Do they like this? Is it because their husbands like it? Or is it the secret that keeps their marriages together?

Where does my mind go during this? How about: how on Earth did I get here?

How it all started: We were having problems in our marriage. It happens. We'd married in our 20's, and were now juggling the suburban ennui and financial pressures that typically accumulate in your 40's. One kid out of the house in college, one still in high school, and different lives as my husband Dave and I splintered off in different directions. Dave had done very well for himself as an attorney in LA, but it's an expensive place to live in the style we're accustomed to. So he worked a lot, and was often working in his head even when he was home. I was drifting. I felt distant from him, and had transitioned from being a full-time mother/housewife to volunteering on so many boards and committees. God, I was turning into my mother.

Sex was a distant memory. Is it my fault? Dave's? Probably both. Familiarity does not breed passion after 18 years, and both of us were too comfortable with just drifting through the nights on our laptops with Netflix. Then I had an affair. Well, almost. I never did have sex with Thomas. But we hit it off on a committee. We had chemistry, and he really paid attention to me. As much as I liked him, I didn't let it go beyond coffee dates, except for that one kiss on our last coffee date. Boy, did that mistake cost me! Turned out Thomas liked money more than me. He had someone take pictures of us, and threatened me with blackmail. I could only get the money through Dave.

Confessing to Dave was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But it was also the right thing to do. First of all, Dave took care of it. We couldn't afford the damage that a scandal would do to his career and our income. He didn't pay them off, however. He reached out to an "independent contractor" for his firm, and paid to make the problem go away, without paying the blackmailers. That was good enough for me. I didn't want to know anymore. So, the problem was solved, but then we were left with each other.

Dave was livid with rage, but worked hard to contain it. Too hard. He needed some way to vent and deal with it. I was mortified by my behavior, and what I almost lost because of it. We tried three marriage counselors inside of six months. None of them clicked for us. We didn't want to give up, but it wasn't getting any better between us. I even encouraged Dave to try an affair to see if that would help. Hell, if it didn't, we weren't going to make it anyway.

My friend Margie was my closet confidant, but I'd kept this from her. When I finally spewed it all out over martini's one afternoon, she surprised me with her response. She and her husband Amesh had gone through their own crisis, only without the blackmail part, and had come out the other side. It had even unlocked latent passions they'd never suspected in themselves. How was this possible? Could this be what I needed? Margie said she'd talk to the person you need to talk to and get back to me. When she did a few days later, she said that we seemed like likely candidates for the very unconventional marital therapy they were in. We were welcome to try it. But then Margie warned me of just how unconventional it was.

Had I ever heard of S & M? Dominance and submission? BDSM? Well, yeah, of course. I was in a neighborhood book club. So of course I'd read that 50 Shades book. It was the one book I knew every woman actually read. I never thought it was for me though. But I was desperate. Margie warned me that 50 Shades was rated G compared to what they were doing.

My marriage was literally on the rocks, so I went for it. If this radical "therapy" didn't work, my marriage was going to fail anyhow, so I figured we had nothing to lose. Margie coached me on how to get Dave open to it. I told him that I thought the underlying problem is that I had transgressed badly, and never been punished. I needed to be punished, and he needed to see it. Dave thought I had finally lost it completely until Margie's husband Amesh stepped in. I don't know what he said to Dave, but it worked.

Monday morning at 10am found me at the gate for the big steel and glass house at the end of the cul-de-sac on top of our hill. The electronic gate slid away as soon as I got within two feet of it. I worked my way through a tastefully manicured garden up a windy stone path to the house. Dana stood in the open door, welcoming me. She was about 60, a little on the curvy side, but toned. She worked out, but probably wasn't much for diets. I made her out to be about 6'2". Her dyed black hair was tied up in a severe bun with a grey streak in the center. I figured the fact that most women had literally looked up to her all her life accounted for her naturally dominant personality to some degree.

"Hello Brooke", she said, "welcome to my little oasis." Dana ushered me inside. She led me into her office just off the front door, so I didn't see any of the rest of the split-level. It was almost like the typical beige design that therapists go for that effect of emotional neutrality. But it was a little darker than the others I'd seen this year. We sat down for coffee and we...well, I guess we got down to business.

Dana was good. She was a professional. The first thing she did was make it clear that this was a free consultation, nothing more. I was free to tell her anything I wanted, and if Dana did offer any helpful advice it was just that, free helpful advice. But she did add that she couldn't help people who weren't open and honest in these things. Well! After scorching through three different marriage counselors this year, I could go from zero to open and honest in a heartbeat. So I dived right in.

Dana listened patiently, asking a few questions here and there. She then quizzed me on the history of our sex life. Since I was warmed up, I was brutally frank. The dwindling from time and age had come to a crashing halt after the emotional damage my incident caused. It was a miracle we were still even sleeping in the same bed. Dana said that could be chalked up to habit, but was also a hopeful sign that no matter how hard it was for Dave to forgive me, he still didn't want to give up. With that, Dana took over the conversation. She had what she needed. Margie's introduction got me in the door, and Dana agreed that Margie had been right to send me to her.

Dana started by recounting some of her background, and how she had arrived at her current course of "treatment." She had spent the first half of her adult life serving two passions. She took a career path as a clinical therapist specializing in marriage counseling, which was where she found the money was. But she was also a very dominant woman with an insatiable interest in sexuality. This manifested itself by working as a dominatrix on the side. But neither of these discrete sides to her personality fulfilled her completely, even though the monetary rewards were significant. Dana had cultivated extremely high-end clientele in both vocations, and done fairly well, if the house was any indication. It wasn't until she figured out how to combine the two that everything clicked into place for her.

"I had a breakthrough one day when I pinpointed the central problem for a couple", said Dana. "It was both sexual, and involved the power dynamic of their relationship. Quite frankly, I never would have arrived at it without the insights from both of my vocations. Luckily, they were failing, and open to any last-ditch attempt to save the marriage. I proposed something so unconventional that I could not do it in a professional capacity. So I didn't charge, and we tried it off the books. It worked for them. It's been some years, and they're still together, and doing better than ever."

Well, hell, that sounded like just the thing I needed!

"But the really important thing", Dana added, "is that it worked for me as well. It brought the two sides of my life together, so that I wasn't living as a stifled split personality anymore. It made me whole, and I've never been happier. Now, would you like to hear more about what I do with couples at night?"

"Y...Yes", I just about stammered, as I suddenly remembered the prominence of the dominatrix sideline in her story. Was I ready for this?

"I run a very private, exclusive series of bi-weekly events here at my house. You might call them parties, or even group therapy of the most unconventional nature. I don't run them under the auspices of a licensed professional, as that would be highly illegal. So I keep them separate from my professional work, and I do not charge. My time, my house, my services and all materials are donated by me. I pick up the tab for everything. However, these events fulfill a deep need in me that has been elusive to find otherwise. These deep needs can only be fulfilled by the donation of services from the guests, particularly the wives."

Gulp. What does she mean by wives?

"Scared yet? There's no shame in saying you know this isn't for you already. It's certainly not for most people."

I didn't do or say anything. I certainly didn't put down my coffee and leave. Most likely I was just doing my best deer-in-headlights impression.

"Okay then, guess you're ready to dive in a little more", said Dana. "These events are sexual in nature. Highly sexual. I'm sure you've read 50 Shades. Everyone in Margie's crowd has. So think BDSM, S & M, Dominance & Submission, sadism, masochism...concepts like that. We practice those concepts under my direction."

"Um...um...how...how far do you...?"

"You're wondering how intense it gets. Of course you are. It's the most common question I get at this point. Let me put your mind at rest."

Phew. I was starting to get worried.

"It gets very intense."

What!?!

"My events are probably the most sexually and emotionally intense events you could ever hope to attend legally. My years in the psychological and sexual industries have been fruitful. I know what makes men & women tick as much as anyone could ever hope to know. After selecting the right people, I push them, far past any perceived limits they may have thought they had."

"Um, okay. What exactly goes on at these things? Like spanking, or sex, or...?"

"I will not discuss specifics activities or acts. It creates too many pre-conceptions that interfere with the process. If you feel so inclined, you can do some research, and fall down the rabbit hole of porn on the Internet. I won't lie to you. A lot of what you find there you will also find at my events, even some of the most extreme ones. But I will say this much. I am a dominatrix. I dominate. I separate men and women into masters and slaves, and direct their actions accordingly. And I go deep. If you choose to participate, you will experience feelings of pain, humiliation and degradation the likes of which you'd probably never imagined before. If it's dirty & perverted, you will do it, and it will be done to you. Now, want to hear the upside to that?"

Well, duh, of course.

"This intensive program for couples obviously isn't for everyone. But it's proven to be very beneficial to couples with certain normal relationship dynamics, who find themselves at a crossroads. For them, it can relieve sexual & marital tensions, and have the added benefit of unlocking hidden passions for the bizarre and unusual. Don't be surprised if you grow to love those dirty & perverted things. It also helps build and develop the kind of power dynamics that can stabilize a marriage, and make it last longer. Based on what you've told me, I think you and your husband Dave could be ideal candidates for my events."

"And, we don't pay you for all this?"

"I am a very sadistic person, Brooke. It's what gets me off. I also like women. I have very dark and twisted needs that drive me, and it is very hard to find the right partners for that. Presiding over these events, and performing these services for couples, also provides me with the female..."companionship"...that I desire."

"Wait, so I'm going to have to have sex with you?"

"If I so choose, yes."

"And that's something you would want from me?"

The thinnest of smiles spread across Dana's face.

"Yes, it is as a matter of fact."

"And...and, Margie does these sorts of things? Has sex with you?"

"I do not discuss other participants activities as a matter of policy."

Margie! You freak! You Super-Freak! What have you been up to on those weekends when you're not available?

"Shall I go on, or are you ready for the door?"

This was too weird. But, I was desperate, and it was also so weird that I couldn't just cut and run now. What can I say? I was curious?

"Good. Here is what I can tell you. You will be placed in a submissive position. You will be expected to obey commands. You will really, really be punished in front of your husband. There will be pain involved. I will push you to your limit physically and emotionally. You might find yourself in ways you'd never dreamed of before, but this also could well be the most sadistic, degrading and humiliating experience of your life. Your husband will be a Master. I expect you at least know what a safe-word is? Good. Your Master will be the holder of your safe-word. It will be up to him to invoke it if he thinks this is too much for either of you. I honor the safe-word instantly. No questions asked, no judgments. But that does mean that you're not ready for what goes on in my events, so you will be quietly and respectfully ushered out, and that will be it for us."

Dana was silent for a moment. She was done with her spiel. My mind was racing, and yet I couldn't think of the first thing to say.

"I've given you a lot to think about. Believe me when I say, I have a lot of experience with this now, so please follow my advice here. If this is not for you, no harm done. Just forget this conversation ever took place. You might still find the answers to your problems through conventional means, and I sincerely hope that happens. If you do decide to try this, send me a short email on Wednesday morning at 10:00am sharp. We will then schedule a time for me to meet Dave for a short interview before the day is out. He should be made aware of that in advance. If that goes well, we will do fresh STD tests on Thursday. I have a private lab that can turn them around overnight. Not that I'm expecting any surprises there. There is usually a direct correlation between the lack of STD's and the state of the couple's recent sex life when they come to me. I've yet to see a prospective couple fail an STD test. On Friday, I will have a full day of appointments booked for you, and you will then show up here ready to go at a time of my choosing before Friday evening."

Dana rose up out of her seat and extended her hand. I rose to take it, and we shook hands goodbye.

"It's been very nice meeting you, Brooke", she said as she led me out. "I sincerely hope I see you again very, very soon. Oh, and Brooke? One more important detail: If I get an email from you on Wednesday, then from now on I am The Matriarch to you. Neither you nor Dave are permitted to ever address me as Dana, or by anything else, ever again. That clear?"

"Yes...Matriarch?"