All Comments on 'Ritual Breaking of Suburban Wives 06'

I read chapters 1-5 and looked forward to reading this chapter too. Until I began reading then I just forced myself through it. Unlike the others this chapter is flat, cold, and generally disappointing.

The first five chapters were filled with emotion, fear, excitement, and discovery of a woman's new sexual identity. Then you published this chapter and it just feels like it doesn't belong because none of that exists here. It fees like you simply phoned it in, like someone told you you needed to have an obligatory lesbian scene and so you wrote one. Yes the words you used should have invoked excitement in your readers but they don't. There is nothing exciting here, it's textbook cold, all the characters involved just act robotically and simply progress through the motions of enacting a staged sex scene but there was no interest, passion, fear, joy, lust, discovery,... NOTHING. just "I'm going to get beat again so I might as well try but I don't care one way or the other as to the results for her or me".

You write well and if chapters 1-5 are any bellwether you are much better than this offering shows. Chapters 1-5 were excellent, and I look forward to chapter 7, but I expect that when you reveal chapter 7 the total story will read better without chapter 6 than with it.

very good; some healthy asides and obs among the filth! Love it.

Thank you, chasboi! Glad you're enjoying it. Stay tuned for the final chapter. It's nearly done.

Thank you for taking the time to give me that very constructive criticism, LostnFoundBin. My apologies if I let you down with this chapter. I'm not objective in the least at the moment, since I just finished that chapter. So I'm just going to keep your observations in mind as I continue on. Chapter 7 is nearly done, and should be up shortly. I'd be very interested to get your take on how I did with it.

You are a talented writer, and I have enjoyed your story to a point. My comments are similar to both UK -Tess and LostnFoundBin. While I understand this is fiction and fantasy. As a reader, it needs to be believable. There are so many aspects of this that don’t make sense. For example, she recognizes her mistake and doesn’t cheat (yes, I know she kissed a guy and may have emotionally cheated – but she pulled back), and I appreciate how she will do anything to save her marriage – but she didn’t cheat in the end. It’s hard to believe that he channels that anger allowing her to have sex with someone else and claiming her anal cherry, which he has yet to tap?

What role does he play in being a master other than turning his wife into precisely what set him off – with people they interact with regularly. How does that impact not only their relationship but those they are now intimate with? At this point, we have no clear understanding of what he wants and agrees to? Based on the way he responded, he was as clueless as she was. There has been no conversation on how this will help their marriage, no aftercare or checking in by the matriarch, and more importantly, can they move on from this. It is one thing to be a slut for your husband/Dom/Master. It is another thing to be a slut for another man without a clear understanding of what they both want. Her inner voice is conflicted, and she is doing this based on what she believes will save her marriage. You have yet to share his insight, what he wants, and if he knew exactly what would take place. In fairness, Gerald showed more care, empathy, and compassion than anyone else – including her husband or the therapist.

Again, you’re a talented writer, and this is your story. I would hope the matriarch would spend more time teaching her husband how to be a Master/Dom by creating space for DD and sharing fantasies they could explore together than semi-forcing them into something they were not fully aware of. JMHO

You are a talented writer, and I have enjoyed your story to a point. My comments are similar to both UK -Tess and LostnFoundBin. While I understand this is fiction and fantasy. As a reader, it needs to be believable. There are so many aspects of this that don’t make sense. For example, she recognizes her mistake and doesn’t cheat (yes, I know she kissed a guy and may have emotionally cheated – but she pulled back), and I appreciate how she will do anything to save her marriage – but she didn’t cheat in the end. It’s hard to believe that he channels that anger allowing her to have sex with someone else and claiming her anal cherry, which he has yet to tap?

What role does he play in being a master other than turning his wife into precisely what set him off – with people they interact with regularly. How does that impact not only their relationship but those they are now intimate with? At this point, we have no clear understanding of what he wants and agrees to? Based on the way he responded, he was as clueless as she was. There has been no conversation on how this will help their marriage, no aftercare or checking in by the matriarch, and more importantly, if either of them can move on from this. It is one thing to be a slut for your husband. It is another thing to be a slut for another man without a clear understanding this is part of the program. In fairness, Gerald showed more care, love, and compassion than anyone else – including her husband or the therapist.

Again, you’re a talented writer, and this is your story. I would hope the matriarch would spend more time teaching her husband how to be a Master/Dom by creating space for DD and sharing fantasies they could explore together than semi-forcing them into something they were fully aware of.

Thank you, findingmyway, for taking the time for your constructive comments there. I'm going to keep them in mind in case I ever go to a second draft with this. I hope some of your concerns will be addressed in the final chapter, which is nearly done. One thing I have attempted to do in this story is go a little further and a little darker than I've ever gone in my stories here before, which is why the majority of these chapters were published in the Reluctance/Nonconsent category. I've tried to skirt the edges of what I'm comfortable with.

Again, thank you to findingmyway, chasboi, LostnFoundBin and everyone else who took the time to leave comments on these chapters. Of course, I love any praise! I'm only human, after all. But I appreciate the constructive comments that are also critical of choices I've made. The time and effort to read my stories, analyze what works and doesn't work, and discuss those aspects, is truly appreciated by me.