All Comments on 'Rock Star Ch. 01'

Please keep up the good work.

I like the basic plot idea. The characters have potential and there is some room to play with the story.

However, there is one huge issue.

It this was a non-fiction biography or dissertation the style would be fine, but you're supposedly writing a fiction tale about a young man who becomes a rock star.

You need to get away from the flat descriptions of events and bring them to life more. The tryout should have been explored in full. Write about what songs Taylor played, have sections of dialogue between the man hosting it and the rest of his band, perhaps others where some of the other hopefully mourned the fact that Taylor was clearly far mroe talented than they were.

do the same with Jenny's introduction to the band. Expand the whole sequence, from trying out the new songs and Frank realizing that they needed a backup singer to the tryouts he held to bring in the singer. Why did they end up with a girl?

Do keep writing. The technical skill is definitely there, you just need to learn to paint with the words.

I have already written 8 chapters before submitting this one. The idea was here to introduce the character and his history...hopefully u guys will find the rest better reading.

just saw chapter 3 posted and decided to come back and read from the start... overall interesting topic, and i can agree that flushing out some of the detail would be better. but there are a few odd things..

like his garage is his music studio, then why is his best times with his sister (playing music is insinuated) in the basement... and don't tell me the garage is in the basement, because that's crazy.

also, it's grin and bear it.. no one is going bare

You grin and bear something, not bare it unless you are removing clothes.

You do something a lot, not allot.

When you are reading a story, it's like fingernails down a chalkboard when you come across spelling and grammar that disrupts the flow of the story...

This is another incomplete story.

Yep, unfinished. Don’t waste further time reading.