All Comments on 'Roland and Susan'

His hair was perfect.

But what law school did Susan go to? That and the State Bar must be dirt simple to pass someone that stupid...

The LW section has turned into a morgue. Not my cup of tea. There are cleverer ways to solve marital problems than dropping wives in the ocean, leaving them in caves or having them eat lead. This was just too far out there. Late night flights to the Bahamas, men stupid enough to light fires when they're supposedly hiding and FBI agents that know what happened but stop by to joke about it with the criminals responsible. Next time something with smarter characters, both good and bad.

Roland doesn't do well with wives, so I hope Maria is just some Christmas fun. Susan was one dumb bitch, being a lawyer and all. He warned her three times and she still ran away with the doomed Mike. He should have let her be sold as a sex slave, and then taken his time with Mike a little later. Anyway, another good yarn from ST 1956. Thanks for sharing your imagination.

Warren Zevon fan much?

Classic ST56! Over the top? Of course. Entertaining? Absolutely! Kudos for the Warren Zevon reference of Lawyers, Guns and Money whether it was intentional or not.

Full marks.

that Ms. Butina is still remembered.

Green-something

Still don’t know how you do it but this again was a fantastic story and just make sure you keep writing them please

When I saw the Thompson Machine gun and Mercenary I had to go back and look at his name again. You based it on that song lol.

His wife is a lying cheating whore

He has proof that she is aware Owen wants to kill him

He has proof she is cool with him being murdered

He could never forgive himself if the whore wife who wants to kill him would up dead or as a sex slave

He goes to save the woman who literally wants to murder him

She dies

He doesnt care (even though he could never forgive himself if she died?)

1 star for abject stupidity

Thanks for the Warren Zevon references. Was just listening to a few of his songs yesterday.

Roland was just an excitable boy.

Started strong but then fizzled

after two divorces you'd think he'd understand female nature enough to stay away from first world whores with daddy issues. there is no female on earth more brain dead than the first world entitled ones.they lack a social structure, and only follow their hormones. they aren't very clever. they are just benefiting off the dying chivalry left behind the patriarchal social structure men still follow, that they claim to hate.

he's better off dating some lebonese woman that still has a family structure that discourages sleeping around, and encourages healthy monogamous family building. or he can become a man-whore himself. but you wont find a housewife where he's looking.

let me clarify for any triggered 'independent' women reading this. the 'wall exists'. if you aren't in your mid thirties, it's still coming for you. you cannot raise healthy children while single. men and women ARE biologically different. get used to that. and learn about it. you are just as much a sad dick hound as men are pussy hounds, learn to control it....or dont and suffer. men aren't as clueless as they used to be, and your power in the court system has only made men MORE likely to pump and dump you. Even the provider men. shaming men doesn't work anymore. and it's only going to get worse for your biological sex. if you think it's hard now, just wait. you're all still benefiting from the past's dying embers.

Because this story deserves exactly that.

LOVED THIS STORY ESPECIALLY THE WARREN ZEVON SONGS REFERENCES ( headless Roland + the more subtle- lawyers guns and money) BUT NOT A WEREWOLF IN SIGHT, THANKS, KEEP IT UP, JUST 5⭐️, P.

That was awesome. I had to go did out my Best of cd after reading. Roland should have ate more sandwiches though

You'd better keep an eye out for attorneys from the Warren Zevon estate. You'll know because their hair will be perfect.

A good story, but still sad that all three of this guy's wives cheated on him. Would like to see one more chapter where he finally gets a faithful one.

How nice of you to do that.

You have some talent for adventure and conflict plot devices.

Your women are not even two dimensional and make no damn sense.

you just don't know... give it a thought

He should have waited until after Van Owen had sent Susan off to her new life and gotten paid, then killed him and taken all the money.

Warren is one of my favorite artists. I got to see him many years ago and was only him on stage. I really liked this story, is one of my favorites.

Loved the songs and the whole story! You don't Mess with Roland! LOL!

Old Warren back in the rotation to get the songs out of my head. I enjoyed the story.

I enjoy a good story with a different basic format. Love it when The Good Guys win. I thought the format could be worked into a fine action novel if he had the desire and time. Thanks for sharing.

I was thinking that your next story should be "Lawyers, guns, and money", fitting for a Warren Zevon fan. I liked this one, 5 stars.

Far fetched? A little, but then again this is a fantasy site. The ex wife continued the long chain of dumb assed cheating wives (that seems especially to be around real estate and law firms), she finds out he is an ex Merc and keeps cheating? Only loose end left in the story was the guy called El Capitan,you would figure they would hunt him down, not so much for revenge but bc the guy might come after them). A possible sequel comes to mind,where Roland falls for Maria and El Capitan kidnaps her and he has to rescue her.....

One little quibble,the standard Tommy gun that could accept the drum magazine was fully automatic only as far as I know,in the story it mentions turning off the safety and implies another control flips it to full automatic mode.that is true w later model weapons like the M16,but not as the Thompson (there was a semi auto varient,but it was semi auto only)

The Thompson doesn't have semiautomatic fire. It's either safe or full auto. And nobody in their right mind would use a 100 round drum in combat. Even the 50 rounders were unreliable, the 100 rounders were worse. Thirty round sticks were much more reliable.

Now try it with "Hasten Down The Wind".

This felt a lot like the old movie Commando, with bad acting throughout and cheesy action to boot. I loved it. It had a dark humor to it, although I will say in that same vein, the characters are mostly wooden aside from Bill and the FBI agent. I'm pretty sure ST wasn't trying to give any real depth but a good fiction. A happy Sunday morning, thanks!

Rnebular

Got the connection the second I read his weapon of choice.

The Thompson is either safe or full auto. No semiautomatic mode. And nobody would go into a fight with a 100 round drum. Too finicky. Even the 50 rounders were susceptible to jamming. 30 round sticks were the way to go.

Now do "Hasten Down the Wind". Or maybe "Carmelita".

There is no way to properly describe this story. I read it quickly and enjoyed the action and humor I found within the lines. Don't mess with Roland.

and this was a fitting tribute.

Diego Hombre

Really.

And no alt right conspiracy shit either.

I really enjoyed the Warren Zevon inspiration.

Love the song and you took me back with it. There is nothing about Susan that would make her a good wife and it's impossible to understand what he saw in her. She is so utterly without value that I almost feel sorry for her. Good job!

I found your presentation of mercs 'off'. I lived, trained, and worked in that world in the 70s and 80s. There were the occasional show boaters, but they attract attention and go away. Rich? Seldom.

I ran into the new kind of mercs between 2002 and 2015. Seldom did I hear of any solo work, it was mostly a group of Neanderthals with little intelligence, few actual skills, and were not at all sentimental. Without a group, they were fragile. Ah, kids today.

Good story but far too many incongruities. Why would she cheat? Why did he not kick her to the curb that night? Why not quietly throat punch Van Owens and gently break his neck? I'll stop here...

5 *s but I believe this deserved 4.

My only thought is 2 professionals would say nothing over the telephone. Rookie mistake. Thanks for the story.

Are looked down upon by this guy.

Old school and done well.

Merry fucking Christmas.

There should be a category for "just terrible". this would be a five.

The woman, Susan (how original), is so shallow and undeveloped that she fucks the first thing (and he really is not a character, just some plot device) that shows up because "I just fell for him.." and he turns out to be the arch enemy of our protagonist. And she's somehow almost a partner in a prestigious law firm yet so stupid she knows nothing of her husband's background.

And there's the husband. He's not sure if the marriage is over even after getting video tape? I mean, damn, is there a more homosexual thing than sharing some female between ex-partners? If he's not sure and even if he IS sure, how is it that they are still in some domestic arrangement with her? I know why I might, because I can't afford another apartment, but he's a successful mercenary dude and she's an attorney, soon to be partner. So, it seems, all of them--husband, wife, lover--are cool with the shard fluids...

And then the understated homo-erotic relationship between all the men in this story makes my skin crawl, not because I'm a queer hater, but because none of them OR THE AUTHOR acknowledge it.

Stop spamming with this absurdly simplistic and unrealistic drivel. We get it, you think women are stupid sex slaves. But at least make it look like the men are heterosexual men, not in-the-closet queers. This story was putrid.

dude she dumps you like trash. Why risk anything to save her? She choose her path. Instead of being dead after he attempts to save her, instead she'd be a burnt out whore in the jungle. You fucked up her chosen life.

Three Star effort. Okay for a Rambo story. I grudgingly accepted the dumb 3rd wife. However, a gurellia leader paying hundredss of thousands for the wife really crossed the line.

On paper, this should be your standard, crowd-pleasing BTB - the good guy faces adversity, but prevails while all of his enemies perish. This should be right in my wheelhouse... yet, ultimately, it didn't work for me.

I guess the biggest problem I have with this story is its main characters... nobody makes a lick of sense here:

• Roland makes no sense. I do not understand how he could be dumb enough to get himself married for a third time (is he a masochist?); I don't understand why he gave his latest wife a second chance when he didn't do so with his previous ones, especially given she happened to be fucking around with unarguably his worst enemy; and I don't understand why, two days after saying to her face he wasn't going to be around to save her when Van Owen fucks her over, he bothered going down South to save her. I mean... does this man actually thinks for two seconds before making any decision? Here's a simple example of this: Roland used most of the cash, on the beach, to start a fire to burn off all the bodies there, only giving a 'bonus' from the load to Bill. But, later on, to pay off the pilot, he gives him an enveloppe of HIS OWN MONEY... Honestly, does that makes any sense to you!? Since he clearly doesn't care about the dough, how about using some of that quarter million, laying around, to give a generous payday to the pilot - hell, he could even give him a bonus too! - and keep your own dough to yourself? You know that's what most of us would have done... but not Roland. For some reason. Dude makes no sense...

•... And yet, as bad as he is, Roland still makes way more sense than his wife! Susan, who knew her husband's history, and yet still ended up cheating on him (makes you wonder if Roland is attracted solely into whores or if he turned good girls into sluts!); Susan, who, after miraculously getting a second chance from her pissed-off husband, still kept on cuckolding him (did the bitch really thought she would get away with it?); Susan, who, for some completely unknown reasons, tried to blackmail her husband into not divorcing her by exposing his past as a mercenary (... Why? I mean... really, WHY? Why would she want to stay marry when she cannot - will not - stay faithful to him, and therefore obviously do not respect him at all ? Shouldn't she be more worry about him exposing her as the unfaithful hoe she is? How would divorcing her be 'the biggest mistake' he would ever make when marrying her would undoubtedly always take the top spot!? And why bothering fighting to stay in a marriage SHE CLEARLY DOESN'T WANT TO BE IN ANYMORE!?); Susan, who took the word of her lover as if it was gospel, when it came to her husband's past, but couldn't/wouldn't believe anything Roland, the man she kept claiming to love, told her about Mike; Susan, who seems to lack any sense of self-preservation by going back to Van Owen after her husband kicked her out, when any sane, level-headed women stuck in the same, exact situation, would have run away from both of those clearly dangerous men instead of staying squarely in between them... I've yet to read about any cheating sluts created by saddletramp1956 that are the least bit reasonable (that probably never will happen...), but even by his own standards, the one he wrote about here have made some truly puzzling, thoroughly nonsensical life decisions. The only thing about Susan that makes any level of sense is the way that she died - cannot keep playing with fire, as she did, without ending up incinerated... as she did.

• No, Van Owen makes no sense. Sure, it's not as egregious as the two others, but its' still there. Notwithstanding his conflict with Roland, his plans for Susan were illogical - how exactly was he going to explain him going on a cruise with her, to the view of multiple witnesses and cameras in the airport and the ship, yet returning without her? Why did he target a professional, working lawyer with definite ties to the community as slave meat, and not some random runaway who disappearance would have raise way less flags? And, most bizarrely, knowing what he knew about him, why did he fuck with Roland yet again? He barely escaped with his life, the last time they dealt with each other, yet he still thought it would be a swell idea to try to screw up his nemesis' marriage? Geezus... why? What does he gain from being this recklessly evil?

Sigh... trying to make sense out of this trio of bozos is genuinely starting to hurt my head. So let's just say that characters here were way more nonsensical than the overall plot, with ultimately made the story a wash. Yeah, sure, we know it's not a docu-drama, author, but even the most outlandish premise deserved to have logical-thinking players in them. This read more like a bad satire than a LW tale.

Loved this story, too. It was most excellent!

"Know this, I intend to do everything I can to take her from you." - Of COURSE the creep tells the husband. his would be bad enough if he thought the husband was a wimp, but even if he believes that he's superior, he KNOWS the husband ISN'T a wimp.

If the money was earned and kept overseas he doesn't owe the IRS a dime.

Shit, she made her bed, he warned her, gave her a second chance and she betrayed him. Fuck her!

Van Owen didn't notice a jet landing?

"And there's nothing your stupid wimpy husband can do about it." - This is stupid, he knows that Roland is no wimp.

Channeling some Warren Zevon?

Both Mercenaries seemed rather stupid and Roland's wife more so yet.

A cage with her bones ...

A silly tale but I love Zevon’s acerbic wit

Not one of your better works. The response of the characters to many situations was not credible. It was more of a comic than a story.

Sorry. I usually enjoy your writing.

Same old nonsense from a "writer" with mediocre talent at the best of times. Nothing new in this collection of random words, nothing innovative, nothing insightful--nothing but blah, blah, blah....

You pick apart someone that has the balls to write a story, but where are your contributions to literotica? Yes, so you at least have a name in here but still......what a weenie. Man up, grow a set of balls and write a story, expose your id/vulnerabilities or whatnot. What a chickenshit.

Oh yeah.......Saddle.......the story was ok. Not your best but I'll keep looking for your contributions. I'm a fan. Don't know if I could put up with what you writers go through.

Sounds to me like the stud with a gun was a dud in the sack.

Loved it. The only thing instead of Susan being killed she lives and her and Roland deal with the consequences of her actions.

Mercenaries are psychotic trash, and after you made all this fuss about how he's not a bad one, you turn him into a reputation whore who decapitates his targets to make people fear him. That's not actually how nerds work, is insanely stupid, never mind all the war crimes.

So now you have a badass who will suck a man's dick and do nothing while his own life and beloved wife is threatened. A cheating slut of course. All cartoonist trash.

Druisiuil, I was going to mention that, but the story already did. I think it also mentioned, "lawyers, guns and money."

was the Captain? Large plot hole left behind.

Enjoyed the humor BUT why was a former or present mercenary Mike even at the law office employed? I mean how did he even get hired? At first, I thought he was there to get Rolands wife as revenge and force him out to be killed. But when the Author wrote something like now that I know it is your wife I will take her from you I saw that he didn't join the office for that reason. So why was he there? And as someone else pointed out once it was known that wife #3 cheated why didn't he just kill her and kill Mike? Why go rescue her to then just spit on her dead body?

Coulda been a lot better. In ST#’s universe, soldiers-of-fortune move on to law school, even though they have amassed a fortune in untaxable US bucks. Lots of odd parts before Sweetie3 gets Our SoF, but her ignoring being caught and given another chance, gets back to cheating with Hubby’s Nemesis within a few weeks! Hubby spending a lotta money to bail her ass outta the deep shit she was warned about. Well, shit, he gotta get a few more coups for his Tommygun ... especially Van the Arrogant.

Money has no conscience. But he uses a buncha cash to perk up what turns out to be a funeral fire. Paper makes an OK fire starter, but a crappy fire to actually burn something. Glad Hubby checked his watch, however, he could leave an accurate Time-of-Death for the coroner. Sweetie is tied down flat on the ground. Hubby sprays three goons and they get off a couple of shots into the ground. Then he puts his pet up to his shoulder and takes out a very experienced SoF. Sorry, but not even in your universe, ST#! Within one second, Van would be accurately shooting at Hubby while rolling towards shelter.

Three stars is pretty generous.

Punctuation and grammar, good. Story terrible!

a lousy judge of women. He should stick with what he knows and does well.

Pretty disgusting if you ask me. Roland is pretty much a cold blooded murderer hire with no conscience.

3 cheating bitches who cheat on a professional killer. Who goes to save his last whore? And he goes to kill a foe who is also a lawyer who is selling the bitch .please give me a break from this shitty plot.

Look, first she is not fresh. Unless this was some sort of revenge thing on Roland, which would not really work anyway, 250K is way out of line. Most young fresh meat goes from 5 or maybe 10 K but that is exceptionally pretty and great body. Top quality cheerleader, blond and 16 at most. She is old and used already, 5K would be about the best she would bring.

It's why he'll never get that red H.

...when another st56 story comes out. 5 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

That was moronic.

Every time there's a new story by st56. Two stars for the meh machine. Cranking out meh after meh, three times a week.

I can relate to the Roland character, career-wise that is. I was in the Military and did some private contracting for a short period of time. Good money but unlike the Military, you couldn't really trust anyone. When guys trust is purchased with money there is no real trust.

As far as 3 women cheating on him, it might be time for him to re-evaluate himself as the problem. Just sayin'.

You messed up with the Tommy, their recoil makes them less than accurate for crowds unless held sideways. You should have just given him an AA-12 loaded with slugs and been done with it.

Death. Distraction. Another thriller from ST56. Thanks!

from bad to ridiculous.

And the moaning of the Perpetual Bitch Brigade which van ne summed up in one word: Waaahhhhh. Get over it. It's a story, nothing more. Keep writing, ST, I'll keep reading.

Doofus wasted his time criticizing me for daring to share my opinion on the story - HOW DARE I?, since I haven't written one myself...

Then proceed to give his own criticism of the story to the author. And it's fair to guess he's solely a reader himself...

Man, the complete lack of self-awareness displayed here... hey moron - as you were writing your diatribe directed at me, it really never damned on you, for one single second, that you were about to do THE EXACT, SAME THING?

'Know what, let's make this simple: I'll write a story, which evidently will allow me to give my opinions on other entries (who knew this was a prerequisite?) when YOU WRITE A STORY, which therefore will allow YOU to give YOUR opinions.

How about that, dumbass? Show me the way...

The trust between Roland and Bill is really how it is. Getting screwed over.....well I got the scars to show for it. Good stuff. Phu Tho 1972......Semer Fi Wally.

Very much enjoyed it. I turned down a merc work job when I got out the Army. Thompson smg!!! Kewl, but heavy. If gotta lug iron around, then bring the B.A.R. 30 ought 6 punches thru steel.

Zevon is rare in these parts. Thanks

@Anonymous Re: The Captain

El Capitan was Van Owen's customer to whom he was selling Susan.

Gets 1star.

It's just as bad as cuck shit

Contact should have been made at midnight, in the switching yard.

Giving the slut wife a second chance didn't help this otherwise good story, and only rates you a three!

Leave your inner cuck at home next time, you'd probably get a four.

Where to begin?

Thompson was good in 1918, 21, 33 and 41. There are reasons it isn't used by any military who can afford better, since 1970. Inaccurate beyond 50m. Heavy. Depending on model, it takes 30 round box and NOT the drum. At least you talk about the notorious rattling the drums made.

Oh and it was NOT made to be fired from the hip. It COULD be, but that only contributed to it's inaccuracy. It was made to be fired from the shoulder, and fired in short bursts.

Hollywood actors fired from the hip. Serious killers who wanted to inflict max damage and walk home at the end of the day fired it properly.

The bad guy is stupid. He knows Roland's skills and wants to bait him, yet takes 0 precautions. I had assumed it was a trap. The wife is spread out on the beach, a huge bonfire, everyone in plain sight. Who would do that?

It's your universe. Full of stupid people who do illogical things.

KB

Why did the wife suddenly go from remorseful, loving wife, regretting her affair, to cold, vindictive, menacing and justified? Simply conversation? This part of the story went too fast and jumped. He just got through -confronting her, she swore her love for him and he made her end her affair and swear to stay away.

He made it clear he knew everything. Why did she not think he would find out she went back to the asshole. Why would she go back, if she loved her husband? It really makes no sense to me.

Plus, why did he not stop her or tell her the truth? He let it happen.

OTT stupid wives are easier to kill off, because nobody should care if they live or die. Just in case some libtard does?

Make her a lawyer, and then folks actually root for the death!

Look I get it there is some need to try to paint men in these stories as more masculine, despite the idea they get cheated on, but what REALLY gets tiresome is the immature attitude that seems to reveal that the more masculine the husband, the stupider the wife needs to be. It has to have that extreme dynamic contrast to represent and fully illustrate Ultra manliness, vs weak willed pussy emotions.

But gaddammit, cartoon characters don't make for compelling reading WITHOUT any nod to realism. And here, none was even attempted.

If it was a challenge for this author to take song lyrics an turn them into a "story", then I posit this as an even greater challenge...

Try to write a characterization of a women that you would most want to be with, that you would think is perfect in every way, that you might actually be compelled to kill or be killed over. But THEN,,, ask yourself if this woman is actually secretly a moron?

Hmmm.....

The worst part of many many many loving WIFE stories, is that they are rarely about the WIFE. These are stories of men who used to be married, but the story ends the same way. A guy never compelled to understand the woman in his life is destined to lose her.

That is not some feminist claptrap talking point. It is just an observation from reading these repetitive stories, time and time again Reread THIS story. Besides wanting KIDS (maybe someday), he never says why he wanted HER. No wonder he was a loser at love. But author, is that really the lesson you want your readers to take away from this? or is it actually closer to many of the complaints? Its OK to kill stupid whores??

With out crafting any sort of characterization whatsoever, getting the former effective message is near impossible, so many readers are only left with the latter take away response..

A good story in part but what Susan did just does not make much sense. Could she be that shallow (although she is a lawyer)? Also, if Mike was that good, why was he so dumb.

T.T.

good story i guess. would have been a good ncis ep. lol but no one likable here, but i guess u knew that already, so didnt really get to into it. theres a reason i dont watch ncis lol

C’mon, c’mon! Anyone who is actually critiquing the characters or remotely callin anything over the top is culturally deprived. Get off of hip hop street and leave Top 40 boulevard and give Warren Zevon a listen. You might get a laugh or two from the song, but then re-read the story. Chuckles guaranteed.

But good. Would like to know what attracted her to Van Owen? Her own husband was a macho man, so why would she want to start an affair with Van Owen? No accounting for women's tastes or logic or what they do to satisfy them. Dark but good.Thank you.

WIRE PALADIN

SAN FRANCISCO

Signed: BTW

That was quite an epic story. I love gun fights, killing guerillas , and beheading bad guys, as much as the next man. But to go to all that trouble for a cheating wife? No way. Great story.

First page she HD sex with the enemy and then husband said if you want to have future with me. Too late! I did not Evan waste my time going any further.

No plot twists. Kept expecting something. Never got it.

Is it just me? But to have 3 wives cheat on him?.... somebody can’t keep the dog happy under the porch

It would have been a thousands times better twist to have the wife live with her decisions. Dying was like bleached vanilla.

Especially all the Warren Zevon references besides the whole tribute to Roland the Headless.

Kept looking for a werewolves of London reference but I couldn't find one.

Shame WZ passed so young.

This was a wonderf tribute and an amusing little story.

Yes, great tribute to W Zevon. Wrote and did some great stuff. Really miss him. You just don't get that kind of talent and creativity very often.

That's how you write a story.

He may need a lawyer or a gun at some time..some money too.. Well done Tramp

Bang#!! You're dead!!!

Your right wing death squads are all the rage for weak minded

Great story and, in true Saddletramp style, very satisfying. It's a pity some of the wimpy cucks in this category weren't there to stoke the fire with!