All Comments on 'Room Mates'

Learn to write.

Great stuff, and EXACTLY what I'd like to see more of on this site. I got myself off three times. Thanks!

Tot the person who told me to learn to write, let me ask you a question, do you have anything published on Literotica???? I have 13 stories here, guess your afraid to say who you really are hmmmm.... you may not like what I write but other people do.

Thanks for the comment, I just write for my own enjoyment. I'm glad other people like what I write.

To the one who said I need to learn how to write, I'm doing pretty damn good I have six people who have favorited my story. Looks like people do "Like" the "Drivel" I write.

There was zero character development, it just jumped straight to sex. I had no idea of the character dynamic between anyone or why they were acting the way they did. I'd try flesh out the characters a bit before getting to the good part so the reader has some context, else it comes off as sexual while not very erotic. Additionally, some proof reading might be necessary. A lot of grammatical and punctuation errors, and the use of elipses is extremely excessive and broke the flow of character dialogue reguarly.

Anonymous, thanks for your comment, this was written almost six years ago. I have gotten better over time. I have 67 stories on the site now, so I must have gotten better.