All Comments on 'Ruby'

He nailed those fools the way they should have been nailed.

She could have divorced him and Chaz could have avoided going home with her. I am sorry for the polcemen. Suicide by cop is hard on the cop.

Cynical and corrupt politicians bring wars which simple people then take on with no questions as true believers in patriotism and such. Here the doom of the faith of the simple peons was mixed with a little tale of young airheads girls which seemed to be the preferred good time material for the young soldiers. The weight of the two narratives was not comparable for me (although in real life of course all things happen in a messy mixed up way). The true evil here was not the air headed Ruby or even the nemesis Chas. It was the war. Thanks for unraveling this modern tragedy.

Did not ike this story at all, but the writing was good as usual for JakeRivers. Only gave it a 75 as the emotional involvement was missing. Hard to identify or sympathize with any of the characters.

Husband should have divorced the wife and left the lovers to each other. That would have been revenge enough. They deserved each other.

Story would have been better if much more detail were given about the relationship prior to marriage. This would have strongly connected us with the husband and the pain his wife inflicted after his injuries. There must(?) have been love on the wife's part for her to marry. How was her lack of character and morals hidden during courtship?

in self pity is a bit to much. Deal largest problem is the type of women he associates with. Patty was playing all sides of the field and looking for a husband for her bastard. The wife in this story was cheating on him with his "friend" much earlier on according th Chaz in the story. I can understand an active person placed in this position wanting to commit suicide but living in the hell he lived in that marriage was way to much and way to long. It is apparent Chaz cared nothing at all for him and in all reality hated him. Of course the one real question, he knew she was cheating on him when he was in country, and when he was in the hospital, why go home and live with a slut. He could have very easily divorced her while still in the hospital. Any good Chaplain would have helped him. His punishment was ok for the two but somewhat ineffective. When you do the knee thing you should also so the elbows. And of course Chaz family jewels needed a gunshot as did dear old Ruby's honeypot. If its worth doing it worth doing right! His need for death will make those policemens lives hell until they die. He should have simply waited on the cops and plead insanity, after all wanting to commit suicide is insanity. He would have never spent a day in jail!

A story of justice. As a side note, isn't it strange how some people hate to hear another person describe their pain. I wonder why.

In many ways, I have to disagree with some of the previous postings (no offense intended). This drama is very good writing, even though the story is rather dark; compare "The English Patient" or "Straw Dogs". Let's be realistic: Love makes people do things, sometimes foolish; depression makes people do things, sometimes downright stupid. But such is real life.

Excellent writing!

-- KK in Texas

...it was in the wrong category, it should have been in non-erotica. I felt Deal's pain and in no part did I feel Ruby was a loving wife. Thanks for the time and words.

a dark story. thank you for taking the time to write another story. I have enjoyed reading all of your stories. jrj

I knew a guy who committed suicide by confronting the police with a gun. He was too cowardly to shoot in his own direction.

I just came across this one and I enjoyed it. Tightly written and to the point. There was enough fleshing out of the characters for me to judge each one. Good ending. I recently posted a story about a wounded Marine. Check it out if you wish.

I don't get the "wallowing in self pity" comment but who cares what other people say. Thanks for writing, Kathi

but i liked it. one should be careful how they treat others, where they may extract revenge.

The lovers wanted to be obvious and put it in his face. That was a poor choice, and theor live would forever be changed by that decision.

Sad, and a real tear jerker. Unfortunately near a true story for so many through the ages.

I loved it!!!

JakeRivers,

You write like a pro. keep it up.

Phil

A little sad, in what happened to our hubby but none the less a fine tale. R.T.

So I know what Deal was looking at. Fortunately I can still walk and screw but the scars are hard for women to face.

I have always hated that song. Myabe it is closer to true ife that we think.

I hate the way Ruby rubbed his face in his injuries. I hate Chaz even more because he knew what war was all about for the guy in the front lines. You bet there were selfish bastards over there. Too bad some of them made it home

As for their rewards that evening, it is minor compared to wounding of Deal's heart and soul

Am starting to get angry all over again, will quit now damn the tears

Some people need to have their lives destroyed.

Don't cheat.

No matter what.

Finally some very simple response to very insulting betrayal

This story is all to real for me. If you think of Ruby as the America public and Chaze as the American political class you can understand why many many Nam Vets are still angry, 40 years later...not that I expect anyone to care.

Thanks for writing this outstanding account of how the Vietnam Nam vet has been treated by an ungrateful Nation.

Nam Vet Class of 69

I shit all over you and make it stick -

She was a bitch and a whore - Chaz was a whore and a dick head they earned what they got -

He just suffered and died.

Well done

How could Chaz be his best friend? His worst enemy maybe...No need to talk about the wife...He made it all right, but it is a very sad story.

should have shot them both in the crotch...

A read.

If you think getting shot in the crotch is worse then you my friend, dont really know true pain & suffering. Sure getting shot is very painful to say the least, but spend half an hour with a para/Quadriplegic or somebody in a wheelchair taking about the emotional aspect of their loss, & then ask them if they had to choose between gaining the ability to have sex or to be able to walk, which would they choose....

The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind... the answer is blowin in the wind....

Robin Williams said it best, when he looked down the golden gate bridge, what scared him was not the height, but rather would he do it?...

The protagonist was doomed to a life in a cage(wheelchair/cruel spouse), she did not want to divorce him as it would look poorly on her, Kind of makes me look a bit more favorably at Newt Gingrich when he divorced his cancer diagnosed wife to marry a mannequin, sure it definitely was hard on the cancer suffering lady, but atleast he choose lesser of the wrongs.

But, in the end the best revenge was makin the ones who wronged you suffer the same fate as they mocked you...

That's about right, those two got what they deserved.

Happy ending

you can still fuck without your knees. You cock and happy sacks, not so much.

They deserved the worst, short of death.

and sad .

they got less punishment than they deserved .

Too bad. These days it seems it is better to be bad and miserable rather than happy and contented. Of course who wants to read about good people and good times? Probably only about 70% of us readers.....

Dark, but very good story. I loved how you used the song for your story. Both Ruby and Chaz got off way too easily. A shot to the groin would have given Chaz some humility.

He breaks his friend's arm in a cheap shot, ruins his chances at a scholarship and maybe more. After he is left the way he is a decent man, with a very new bride would have set her free. And then he is too cowardly to blow his brains out so he gets a cop to kill him where the cop has to live with that for the rest of his life.

None of the three are painted as great human beings, but I have to say the protaganist is the biggest of the shits.

Friends don’t steal other friend’s girls (remember, they were teenagers, so it’s a MAJOR offense).

Deal was told by doctors (this is late ‘60s) that he probably wouldn’t live more than another year or two. Chaz, his arch enemy, is rubbing Deal’s face into his cuckolding. Deal was trying to kill himself, but was able to do that - suicide by cop - at the sametime punishing his cheating and laughing wife and her laughing insulting boyfriend. He got everything he wanted.

4-stars

I agree with Anon 01/11/08 and johnadp regarding how the MC decided to go out. Making the cops shoot and kill him was despicable, selfish, and cowardly. You want to die so bad, put the damned gun in your own mouth, don't make men just trying to do their job and keep people safe do it. Those guys have to live with the knowledge that they killed a man in a wheelchair for the rest of their lives. Ruby and Chaz had done him wrong but those cops didn't do anything to him to deserve the burden his death will leave on them. And it will leave them with scars no matter what the macho meatheads would have you believe. Killing a man is never easy to live with, nevermind a handicapped one.

Yeah, the MC got a raw deal and he was betrayed by the person he should have always been able to count on. That doesn't excuse him being a selfish prick in the end, though. No likable characters in this one.

Lots of counseling available

USMC Sgt at separation from active duty Lance corporal and corporal in Vietnam 67-68

Agree shitty end to miserable conflict

Gung Ho volunteered changed after realizing all lies we were told. As today

Shit happens to good people as well as shit heads

Again, dark story with real justice. I still think he should have saved a piece of wire for Chaz's balls.

My Dad served in Nam from 69-70 .. He was invited back for Closure . He Never ever wanted to go back their . I was a Marine SGT . In the Sand Box in the Middle East . Met some Great guys in the Marines and some real Jerks . Every Service has The Jerks no matter what Branch they served in .

As Johnny Darrell said, "Oh Ruby, don't take your love to town." I guess she won't anymore...

1 star - I will repeat this one more time - there is absolutely no reason for any kind of violence or pain in any of the stories on this website. I am a veteran and have witnessed enough pain and violence to last me the rest of my life and I certainly hate seeing it in your writing. Sorry but I won't be reading any more of your stories.

Stfu u cuck pussy.

Deal didn't deserve his fate, he was maimed protecting their lives. Ruby & Chaz got theirs and will remember it for the rest of their rotten lives... Deal told her, RUBY, DON'T TAKE YOUR LOVE TO TOWN...Now she knows why...

Love a good revenge story, they got what they deserved and our Marine got we he wanted also. Some people have no respect, no compassion and no understanding, in some respect those people don't deserve to live. well written.

3* because I hate death by cop. Otherwise a solid revenge story.

A very well written dark story…consistent with the song. Powerful, but not what I want to read…too much violence.

This must be a pretty old story, because prosthetics have come a long way, so they wouldn't necessarily be wheelchair bound nowadays. He would have been better going for a spinal nerve damage, instead of just mechanical knee damage. No sexual pleasure for them.

Smell not even noticed very soon.

Leave and air smells funny for a short time.

Many vets learn to deal and their wives also with being even quadriplegic

Not a very good story unless writing about a wimp USMC Vietnam