All Comments on 'Sam Steals Her Dad Ch. 04'

by Nymfoholic

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GforGrahamGforGrahamover 8 years ago
short

Easy to read, straight story but just as I relax and get into the tale, it stops. Perhaps you need to build out what is happening a bit more. It is hard due to writing in first person to get everyone's thoughts, but maybe expand all their inner thoughts in dialogue.

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