Sammy's Honesty Ch. 01

Dear Tristan,

I've tried writing this letter a hundred times. I know you've been waiting so long, and I'm sorry about that. But depending on how much of this you're willing to read, I hope you'll understand why it was so difficult. I couldn't decide how honest to be, not because I don't trust you, but because I'm embarrassed. I don't really think of myself as this kind of person, but my actions say something different. Whatever your reaction is, just remember that I love you and I'm doing this because I don't want any secrets from you. No one believes two people can marry this young and stick it through to the end. And they're right - unless we jump every hurdle, climb every mountain, topple every wall between us.

So please, excuse the intensity of these stories. I don't want to think I left anything out, especially not the way I felt while all these things happened. You need to know everything. And if you accept everything, then I know we can make it. So... here goes.

I became sexually active the exact moment I turned eighteen.

My parents had the exact time of my birth right down to the second, and when I was little I used to love counting down until I knew for certain it was the exact cross over from one year to another. So I knew exactly when I would be legal. And so did my cousin Krista.

If you don't remember her, I should explain. She's not my cousin by blood - she was adopted when she was ten and I was four. I didn't really spend a lot of time with her until I moved to Sacramento where that branch of the family lived. By then I was almost eighteen anyway.

I didn't have a lot of friends in the area, so Krista agreed to be my guide to learning Northern California. She drove me all over, from Lake Tahoe to San Francisco. We saw concerts at the Warfield and the Orpheum, went paddle boarding in Emerald Bay and rafting down the American River. The fact was that she was a really cool, adventurous person, and she made me feel welcome in an unfamiliar place.

So of course, with all that time spent together, we talked a lot.

She was already 24, and knew the nightlife scene quite well. When we got comfortable with one another, she would tell me stories about her nights on the town with her friends and all the crazy things they did. Not just weed and booze. That didn't interest them as much as games did.

On Krista's 21st birthday, her friends made her the prize of a roulette game. Every hour they would throw all their IDs into a bag and then pull them out at random, whoever got Krista's ID would be the winner for the hour. At first it was simple. She'd buy drinks for that girl or hold her things while she went dancing. But the more they partied, the crazier it got.

By the time they got home, Krista was the only one sober, and they decided that whoever pulled her ID next got to keep her as a pet for the night. I don't remember who it was, I doubt it matters. I think any one of them would have used her.

Krista isn't as small as I am. My breasts are 32B, hers are 38F. I'm barely 5' 3", she's 5' 8". I have a tight body, she has a curvy one. I don't think anyone would look at her and think she was weak or needy. But I saw the photos from that night. She was always on her hands and knees, looking obedient and desperate. And the look on her face... like she wanted nothing more than to please. That's when I learned that blue eyes are the best for being slutty. They stand out more.

Of course, there were other stories. Contests, mostly. Games with sexual stakes. And I loved hearing about all of it. I could barely contain myself when she told me about all the things they did together. I wished I had friends like that, so close that we could just do anything together no matter how crazy it seemed.

But then it occurred to me... I could just be one of them. Join the group. All I needed to do was turn eighteen.

Krista was happy to hear that I wanted in, and she respected my wishes to wait until I was eighteen. I got the feeling that it didn't matter to her, but some of her friends were nearly 30 and I didn't want to put anyone at risk. But she introduced me to her core group of friends about a month before my birthday.

Laurie was the most like me in terms of body type. Short, blonde, skinny. But where I was just sort of built small, she had carved herself into a powerful, scrappy little woman. There was so much strength in her that it was no wonder she had such a massive strap on collection.

Allegra was more like Krista, tall and busty and proud of it. But the main difference was in the way they carried themselves. Krista was subtle, the type to be vague and wink and let you piece out what she wanted. Allegra was forward, brash, and commanding. She had no problem telling you what she wanted, as long as it meant it would get done.

Sutton was basically a supermodel. So thin she looked like she might snap, face contoured to look alluring in any light from any angle. Her touch was delicate, her lips large and inviting. Just looking at her, you could tell how badly she wanted to get fucked. And the only reason I knew that upon meeting her was that she was not a model in any capacity. Not in magazines, not in ads, not in fashion shows, not even on Instagram. This was how she chose to look every day.

I already wanted to be a part of their group, but it was Sutton's pouty lips that sealed my fate. I didn't know it then, but it was the beginning of an addictive need to fill my mouth. Every time I looked at her lips I could picture them wrapped around a thick, throbbing cock. Glistening with saliva, drooling like a brainless slut. But that part of the story is for later.

I was born at 11:34 p.m. And on the day of my eighteenth birthday, I waited for every minute to pass. It was torture, thinking about all the things I wanted to do, not knowing what Krista and her friends had planned for me. I barely even told them what I liked, but I don't think it mattered. Krista knew I was interested in women, and I know I'd told her about some of the guys I knew in school. The only thing she told me that morning was the safe word. I don't remember what it was.

They took me out for a nice night first. Dinner, a musical downtown, and even a surreptitious sip of one of their drinks. We got back to Krista's apartment at 11:15. And then they competed for my pussy.

I sat in the seat of honor, a comfortable chair with a pair of handcuffs already on each of the arm rests. They remained perfectly clothed, but all got on their knees and took turns dancing for me. Krista winked and smiled and twirled slowly, putting her hips into a swaying groove that really showed off her legs. Sutton blew kisses, not knowing how crazy I was for that, and ran her hands across her body, barely remembering to move enough to call dancing. Allegra shook everything she had and let out a happy laugh, taking joy in the blush of my cheeks.

Laurie barely had to try, though. I had practically already decided I wanted her, simply on the merit of how similar we were physically. In a way it would almost feel like there were two of me, at least the way I was thinking of it at the time.

So when the time came, they counted down from ten. I hadn't told them who I wanted, they said it would be more fun as a surprise. So they counted, each one on their hands and knees in front of me. Sutton's lips were pursed, so inviting I could feel how wet I was already. Krista inched her face toward my legs, probably thinking I had chosen her out of favoritism. Three, two, one...

And I lurched forward, grabbing Laurie's blonde hair and pulling her face between my legs. None of them knew I wasn't wearing panties until then, but as soon as I opened my legs I could feel the air against my pussy. It was strong and cold, and so I knew I must have been dripping already. But it didn't last long, because Laurie's lips were on mine a moment later.

The other three screamed and cheered. They picked up the handcuffs and locked me to the chair while Laurie began passionately kissing at my clit. They must have known it was my first time with anyone. I'm sure they'd all discussed how to treat me. Laurie was delicate, like a sensitive lover taking great care to respect my virginity. But I didn't want that.

I remember. My exact words were, "Faster. Harder. I'm your toy, now."

That made them all smile, and Laurie began vigorously lapping at my pussy, tasting me and apparently enjoying that in itself. She moaned almost in unison with me, though I was much louder between the two of us. I wiggled a little bit, trying to hike up my dress for her, and the girls did me the favor of pulling it down from the top to expose my little breasts and the long hard nipples on top of them.

I know now that my pussy is bigger than average. Unlike most virgins, I was able to take quite a lot my first time, and I'm grateful for that. Laurie discovered this when she stuck her tongue as far into me as it would go, and then took the liberty of sliding a finger even deeper while he let her tongue begin to circle my clit. The sensation was more than electric, it was transcendental. I felt like my body was the only thing in the world, that all energy flowed through me. The ecstasy was an epiphany. I understood now why Sutton devoted her life to sex in ways no one else did.

Surely I was not the first innocent little flower they'd corrupted. But I doubt that Laurie knew that as her finger fucked me and her tongue caressed me, she was creating a slut. Not just a girl crossing something off her bucket list. An all-out, desperate slut. In retrospect I can see everything, but in the moment my mind is empty, doing nothing but recording the experience as it happens. I can vividly remember looking down and seeing her beautiful green eyes look up at me, so wicked. I know I felt alive and happy. But if there were ideas echoing around my empty little head, they're gone forever, not even locked away in the safekeeping of my memory. Just the sensations.

Sutton had planted her big gorgeous lips around one of my nipples, sucking gently. Allegra had taken the other, using more of her tongue to keep me enraptured with her. Krista seemed to take more joy in watching it all unfold, though occasionally she would lean down to kiss my neck. Although I wanted someone to kiss, I'm grateful I had the freedom to look around at all of them.

I always had a sense for my attraction to the female form, but with these four beauties surrounding me, I knew for sure I was bisexual. Not just because of how sexy they were, but because I'd watched enough porn already to be able to picture how they'd look sucking cock. As if this story weren't enough...

I've always had an oral fixation. Not just a need for something in my mouth, but a severe appreciation for other people having things in their mouths as well. That's why I loved Sutton's lips so much. I know it sounds like I'm getting off track. If you're still reading this, you'll see why I brought it up.

Laurie had taken to finger fucking me while her lips sucked away at my clit, letting it pulse between her lips as she teased it with the very tip of her tongue. I was so enveloped in a world of sapphic pleasures that I just let go of the rest of my mind. No thoughts, no filters. Just a lexicon of porn gushing out of my head and finally becoming real. Anyone could have seen I was new to this, because I should have been grateful with what I had and still wanted more.

"Two fingers," I said. Laurie's hands were dainty and slender like mine, but even still, two fingers was a lot for me. It was on the precipice between pain and pleasure, never quite tipping over but always skirting the edge. My cunt started to froth and foam with her wrist jack-hammering away. I remember thinking the word "cunt" at that moment. I'd never thought of my own vagina like that. But that's what it was while Laurie fucked it. It was a wet, throbbing cunt.

My tits were so little and so sensitive. Having a tongue for each nipple could have made me cum even without Laurie there. But there she was. And there was Sutton, and here was Allegra, and Krista at my neck, nibbling or licking or kissing. Four pairs of lips, four tongues. All for me. All for a new woman ready to take the world in between her legs.

It was my first orgasm at someone else's hands. And it came hard. First my whole body seized and locked, but just for an instant. Then I convulsed as the heat between my legs flared up into lava, and an electric sting at my clit forced me to scream so loud that no voice passed my throat, just the soundless force of air slipping past my vocal cords.

I don't know how long that lasted, but when I opened my eyes everyone was naked, even me. They must have slipped my dress over my head at some point, while I was too engrossed in Laurie's green eyes and long pointed tongue. I was still jolting every couple of seconds, the aftershocks of my quaking body echoing for minutes after. But I looked around and couldn't wait. I pounced again, this time on Allegra.

She fell backwards and I pushed her legs apart, burying my face into her bald, wet pussy. My first. As far as I could tell, nothing in the world tasted better than her tangy honey. I struggled for a moment to find her clit, so I compensated by slobbering my tongue up and down in long exaggerated strokes, allowing me to get a deep taste of Allegra. That made her laugh. Not rudely, in that sexy, giddy sort of way. Her fingers started playing with my hair, and I felt a pair of hands touching my bare ass. I didn't look back.

Once I oriented myself I experimented, all the while trying to keep at a frenetic energy. I swirled my tongue around her clit, pressed directly on it, sucked at it, flicked it with the tip of my tongue. I even reached down to my throbbing cunt and started playing with my swollen clit, matching my tongue to the way my hand moved. That seemed to do the trick. We had the same preferences it seemed.

I did my best to look up into her eyes while she laid back on the couch. But her gorgeous fucking tits were obscuring her face whenever she played with them, holding them up as she massaged them and pulled at her nipples. And if her hands weren't there, they were pressing my head harder into her mound.

"She's good," Allegra said. And Laurie leaned into my ear, pulling playfully at my hair and muttered, "Good girl."

I came again.

It must have been hours as we all played with one another. I spent the first hours of my adult life serving four sluts, letting them have their way with me. Allegra was a greedy one, keeping my mouth pressed tight to her lips even after she came. But Laurie was more ready to let me go after I practiced my finger work. She had a small, satisfied smile on her face that said she was wiped out from the pleasure. Still, that didn't stop Allegra from straddling her face.

Krista and I had grown so comfortable that our vague familial connection never crossed our minds. I ate her pussy as hungrily as I did the others. Her clit was enormous, both easier to find and easier to please. One quick flick of my tongue and her whole body would jerk and tighten. I was so worried that she'd pull a muscle, I opted to tongue fuck her instead. My face was so wet when I pulled away that a drop of her juices fell into my lap.

Sutton didn't let me crawl into her lap right away. First she kissed me, long and deep, making perfect use of those big pouty lips. Her kiss alone was addictive, but the feeling of her tongue on mine amplified it. Then it was multiplied as her fingers teased up my leg and into my sopping wet cunt.

"You're our toy, huh?" she asked me. My voice failed me, disappeared. I could hear something like a thought in my head, but all that came out was a whimper and a desperate nod.

"We'll have lots of fun, then," she said. And as she kissed down my neck, between my breasts, over my stomach and to my gushing waterfall of a pussy, she added, "I can't wait for you to meet my boyfriend."

Just thinking of a cock good enough for Sutton to dedicate herself to, I couldn't resist pulling Krista's hand to my mouth and sucking on her middle finger. I so desperately wanted to see her looking like a cock sucking whore, more so than she already did.

Something about sucking on Krista's finger sent me so far over the edge that the next thing I remember is being clothed, in bed, and touching myself the next morning.

I hope you're still reading. By now, obviously, you can tell what a lot of this letter is going to be about. If you didn't rip this into shreds, I beg you to keep going. Read every word of it. I can't keep any secrets from you if we're going to get married.

You can tell by how many pages are in your hand that... there's a lot to tell. I know. But there's one more extremely important thing to keep in mind while you read this.

I'm not sorry. Not one bit. Not about anything.