Saving Grace

She leans in and kisses me softly.

I hold my breath, allowing her to deepen the kiss until I feel her tongue. I pull back, to my frustration, with reluctance. I don't want to kiss her but I also don't want it to end. She's somehow managing to mess with my head and burrowing herself deeper into my thoughts and emotions. I don't like it.

"We can't." I whisper against her lips.

She sits back against her seat and stares at the bank. Her brows come together. "You still don't trust me?"

"I don't know." I answer honestly. "I know you won't hurt me." Physically, at least. She has proven that she won't hurt me but having Alice around constantly reminds me that I can't blindly trust anyone I come across anymore. "But I also know there is a lot that you're not telling me."

"What do you want to know?" She's still not looking at me.

"Why is Alice here?" That is the root of my problem. Who is she and what does she know?

"You need to ask her that." She looks over at me briefly, her green eyes shining against the light reflecting from the side mirror. "I know why I'm here."

"That's not good enough." Can't she just be honest with me?

"That's all I got. If you have questions about her you need to take that up with her." She sounds frustrated.

"What was your reasoning for teaming up with her?" My headache is starting to ebb.

"The day I was set to come to get you I received a letter with follow-up instructions. After retrieving you, I was supposed to meet with Alice and we were supposed to head south. Of course, you had other plans and I wasn't going to leave you alone, so I scrapped that part." She turns the car on. "I really thought you were in on it when you asked about her. I also thought she wasn't going to make it if she was really a part of this. I thought we were going to find her dead."

That means that she really didn't know anything about Alice. Or her deception. She even called her my girlfriend. How can Charlie still trust her if she doesn't know her?

Alice is heading back with a glossy red bag hanging from her shoulder.

I move to the back seat, trying to digest every detail Charlie just shared with me.

Once Alice is back in the car Charlie turns on the radio. "Let's grab a bite to eat."

We pull up to a local coffee shop after a few miles.

Alice brings her new red bag and Charlie and I follow close behind. Alice sits on one side of the table and Charlie sits on the other side with me. Once we're all settled and have our drinks ordered, Alice reaches in and takes out three bracelets. She hands us each one. They're elastic and have one white and one black bead on each end.

"Not my style, but thanks." Charlie puts it on without question.

I turn to look at her. "What is it for?"

"Cyanide pills, just in case." She doesn't look at me.

The waitress comes back with three glasses of water and a coffee for Alice. She takes our food order and leaves again.

I put the bracelet on. Whether I like it or not, it may come in handy. In this lifestyle, being with these two, and running from the bad guys makes this a valuable tool. One that I wish I didn't have to think about but am glad to have nonetheless.

"What else is in the bag?" I continue to stare at the bracelet on my wrist.

"Money, instructions, and a map." She pulls out the map to point at a spot down south. "We need to be at this location 13 days from now."

I look at the surrounding areas on the map, trying to see what is so special about this specific point. Nothing comes to mind. It would take us five days, maybe six, to get there and cover our tracks effectively. We'll have cash and these mystery instructions that she mentioned. Am I really expected to follow along with no reservations? Did I really hit her head that hard?

"So, what? I'm supposed to blindly follow your plan hoping for the best?" I push the map back in her direction.

She rolls her eyes. "You're not on board, what a surprise."

"Maybe if you were honest from the beginning, I wouldn't have to question everything about you and what your true intentions are." I grind my teeth.

"Don't you think if I wanted you dead, I could have done that by now?" She leans in close, across the table, and whispers. "All those times I slept over, every time you would come to my place, or on any of those nights we went out drinking. I could have slit your throat at any moment. But I didn't."

"Thank you, for not killing me." My sarcasm drips heavily.

"Girls," Charlie pulls me back and I finally notice the waitress with our food.

She looks extremely uncomfortable being in between whatever we have going on. Her hands shake as she places the dishes down. She practically runs back to the kitchen when she is done. Again, I am extremely annoyed at how easily Alice gets under my skin. In the past, we rarely had an argument. Now, just having her breathe around me is enough to piss me off.

"I never expected you to be such a hot head. Noted." Charlie gives me a side look. She doesn't consider it for longer than a few moments before digging into her food. As if she is ready to accept me in any capacity. Bitchy, angry, annoyed. She seems to think she can just deal with it as long as I stick around with her. For some reason that defuses the situation and a warm feeling spreads through my chest.

I hate it. Why did she have to say that and distract me?

We eat in silence.

They drop the topic.

***

We make it to another inconspicuous motel just after midnight.

Charlie settles into the pullout couch after showering. I take a quick shower and change into some sweats and a t-shirt in the bathroom. When I come out, I notice Alice is no longer in the room.

"Where did she go?" I put my dirty clothes away and eye the red bag on her bed. I wonder what Charlie would do if I started snooping through it. She would probably would let me. But anything that I may find in there wouldn't be fair game without Alice here. I would need to gauge her reaction to know if the things in there actually mean anything.

"She said she needed a drink. I think she went to the bar across the street." She mumbles as she surfs through the channels.

For obvious reasons, I find that hard to believe. Is she really getting a drink or is she up to something? It wouldn't surprise me if she was planning our demise while we sat here and went to sleep. She is a snake after all. My jaw locks at how stupid I've been. I'm getting tired of letting her slide and just trusting that she is really on our side. I have to put a stop to this constant doubt and just confront her already. Either she leaves with us tomorrow or I leave her behind.

I need answers and it is about time I get them.

"I'll be back." I put on my sneakers and leave before Charlie can stop me.

I hear the faint music coming from the other side of the street. There are a lot of men standing outside the front doors smoking and talking. It looks like an older, rougher crowd. One can barely stand straight as he talks to a small group. I don't manage to sneak in before catching their attention. They all start whistling and howling in my direction. I feel unsettled at the thought of Alice walking into a place like this wearing a dress. Then again, she could probably kill them all in the blink of an eye.

It's easy to find her in the crowded space. She's at the bar, and a group of men are walking back and forth around her. The predatory look in their eyes is hard to miss as I walk past them to get to her. They're each sizing each other up, seeing who has the balls to make a move on her. One man puffs his chest and goes in for the kill. I speed up a bit more. His hand comes up to her shoulder and he leans into her ear.

Before I can stop to think, I react by pushing myself between them. He stumbles back, caught off guard by my forceful shove.

"Let's go." I grab Alice's elbow and look back to throw the guy a dirty look.

He flips me off but walks off in the other direction, clearly not drunk enough to make a scene.

She turns to look up at me, her eyes slightly unfocused. "Or what?"

She's drunk. Alone in a room full of men who are all trying to get her attention.

"Don't be stupid. You know this isn't a safe place." I look back and see other men still gathered around, now intrigued by my presence.

"For me or for them?" She gives me an innocent look. Eerily similar to the one in her bedroom when she had blood on her face. The ghost of a smile on her face brings a chill down my spine.

The guy behind me moves out of his seat, probably resigned to the fact that he won't have a chance with her tonight. Not while I'm here at least.

"They're all going to keep bothering you if you stay." The concern in my tone feels degrading, knowing she can take care of herself. But my brain is finding it hard to leave her alone. It's like when we used to go out before. I always made sure she made it home safe. I would vet out whoever she thought of leaving with to make sure they weren't crazy. That small part of me that came to care for her is hard to shake, especially tonight.

She pushes me down on the seat next to her and sits on my lap. She grabs my wrist and drags my right hand across her thighs. "There, now they won't bother me."

I feel my ears turning red but look back to see the men frown in disapproval.

"Can I get another double?" She raises her empty glass at the bartender.

"How many have you had?" I try shifting around to put some space between us. We've done this in the past. At a house party or a crowded club. But things are different now. She's not the same Alice I once trusted with my life.

She moves around too until her thighs are across my own and she can face me without having to turn her neck. The music is not that loud but she leans in to whisper in my ear, "Enough to have a good buzz."

I pull back and give her a look. "Shouldn't we be worried about getting some rest for tomorrow?"

She scoffs. "As if you are going to go along with any plan that I suggest."

I want to shake her until her teeth clatter. How can she not see that my lack of trust has been for a good reason? Whatever. I just need to get some answers right now. Then she can stay back and do whatever she wants here. I don't have time for this.

"Why did you lie to me all this time?" I ask once and for all.

The bartender hands her another drink. She takes a sip while looking at me. Her arm is resting against the bar and her back is arched. She's undone the top two buttons on her dress so I can see the swells of her breasts. "Do you want the long or short version?"

"I want the truth." The only thing I've wanted all along.

"I was hired to befriend you and keep you safe." She takes another long drink. Her gaze travels from my eyes down to my lips. "That was the idea."

"Why would you keep that from me?" Am I really buying this? Is it just the alcohol talking?

"I was just following orders. It was better that way." Her hand comes up to my cheek, she turns her head to the side, appraising my eyes. "And then things started to get complicated."

I snatch her wrist and force her hand away. "Is this a joke to you?"

She shoots back the rest of her drink in one gulp and grabs my face with both hands, so quickly that I don't have time to react. "You want the truth? Here it is: I was only meant to cover your tracks, make sure no one ever found out your true identity. To help keep your past hidden. In the process, I fell for you. Hard. It was impossible not to. All of that time we spent together, working around each other, drinking after work, and sharing the same bed. I was practically drenched in your essence and it was hard not to pull back. I got to know everything about you. You were so open with me and it killed me not to be completely honest but I would do it again if it meant you were safe." She doesn't stop talking, barely giving me time to process anything. "I worked for The Golden Circle first and they had been looking for you for a long time. Once they did, someone else sought me out. Asked me to be their mole. I was hired by them to keep you safe. And I did. And I will."

Could it be true? Every word rings true and yet I hesitate to swallow it. More specifically, do I want to believe Alice developed feelings for me? It's not far-fetched considering I was feeling something similarly toward her before all of this happened but maybe she's just playing me. Maybe she knew what my feelings were turning into before I did. Is she mocking me?

I ignore that part of her confession and focus on the rest. "But I wasn't safe. They still found me and almost killed me."

"They found you when we wanted them to." She lowers her hands. "By then we had already had those that we needed on our side." She turns to the bartender and gives him her card. "You weren't going to die that day. Not with our help on the inside."

"Charlie?" My voice is breathless.

She nods. "Among others."

"You said 'we'. Who are you working with?" My mind races to think of who can have that much power to make people betray The Golden Circle. Who? And why? Why now? What are they brewing up? Obviously, something that requires a lot of manpower. I hate being dragged back into all of this. She should know I would have never wanted something like this. I just wanted to live a normal life. To be normal. With her. Alice was supposed to be my normal.

"I don't know." She pays her tab and hops off my lap. The men staring at us have long been forgotten. She pulls my hand and we make it out the front entrance unscathed.

"Who?" I snatch my hand free.

She continues to walk, so I follow. "I told you I don't know!"

We make it across the street before I slam her into the side of the motel building and force her to face me. "I thought you were being honest!"

I expect to see the anger transform her face into something fierce. Instead, her eyes are watering up and her bottom lip trembles. "Do you think I would be lying to you if I truly knew?" Her head falls back, defeated. "It has been pure torture having you look at me with disgust and hate and distrust. I've tried to get you to see that I am on your side but I don't know what else to do!"

I take a deep breath and watch as the tears slide down her face.

"In all of this, you forget the fact that you lied to me too! You pretended to be someone you are not. You befriended me, made me fall for you, and now have the audacity to hate me when all I ever wanted was to keep you safe." Her hands wrap around my neck and she pulls me down for a deep kiss. It is unexpected but not unwelcome. It feels right. To end our feud with something so carnal. Something I've wanted to do for a while now.

We moan in unison as our lips move at a fast and passionate rate.

I taste her hurt and she tastes mine. The kiss turns sweeter.

I pull back and hold her against the wall. "We shouldn't."

She slowly nods and pushes me away.

I walk closely behind as she climbs up the steps, ready to catch her if she stumbles. She makes it to the room fine. Charlie is sleeping with the TV on. I turn it off on my way to my bed and get in as quietly as I can. With my eyes closed, I turn away from Alice and Charlie and force my mind to shut down. I can worry about all of this tomorrow. I can come up with something to say tomorrow or ponder my feelings. But tonight, I just need to rest. Only focus on sleeping and recovering for the next days to come.

If only it were that easy.

******

The following morning, I avoid both of them.

I wake up before either of them and go on a long run. I get back in time to shower and grab some breakfast sandwiches for us by the time they are both done getting ready. I'm slightly relieved to see Alice in jeans and a t-shirt and Charlie in much the same way as they walk down the steps with their bags. I'm sitting on the hood of the car, enjoying the last moments of silence before all of the talking begins. I hand each one a foil-wrapped sub.

"I'll do it." I look at Alice, who is unwrapping her sandwich. "I'll follow your instructions."

Charlie's eyebrows raise. "You'll do what?"

"You'll follow my plan?" Alice sets the sandwich on the hood next to me and grabs both of my hands.

"Whoa, what is this?" Charlie steps closer to both of us and follows Alice's hands on mine.

"We kissed yesterday." Alice throws over her shoulder as if it is nothing special.

I look over at Charlie, waiting for her reaction.

She looks pensive but shrugs. "Whatever gets you on board." Her smile has a little perverted tilt.

I roll my eyes and shove Alice's sandwich back in her hands. "It wasn't because of that." Although my cheeks are burning and I have to tear my eyes away from her lips. "It was because of your honesty. I think I finally trust you two to help me."

"Must have been one hell of a kiss." Charlie teases. "Was it better than mine?"

"You two have kissed?" Alice looks between us. "Not just a peck but a full on kiss?"

"Duh." Charlie leans over and gives me a soft kiss. Her lips are firm but inviting. Her eyes are playful and mischievous when she pulls back.

Alice leans over right after and also kisses me softly. Her lips are full and warm. She reluctantly pulls back and stares at me under her long lashes. Her dark eyes pop out more against her soft blush. She waits for a reaction.

My heart threatens to beat out of my chest from the feeling of their lips. They are both so different in mannerisms, style, and personalities but we're all very similar at our core. We've all lived knowing the value of life and how easy it is to take one. My cheeks continue to shine bright red as I take the map out of my back pocket and put it on the hood of the car.

"Enough kissing." I grind my teeth. My voice sounds breathless and small. I hate it. "I have some weapons stashed at this location." I point east. "Vlad has a safehouse along the way we can stop to rest at." My finger travels south. "We can probably make one more stop before we make our way to your destination." I turn to Alice. "Do you know what awaits us there?"

She bites her lip, "I have a few more stops to add that will give me a full picture. For now, I just have breadcrumbs."

My gut tightens a bit. I want to trust her but it is hard when she doesn't share much information.

"Is this a suicide mission?" No more bull shit. She at least has to know that.

"Not if I have anything to say about it." Charlie pipes up.

"We won't let anything happen to you." Alice nods.

"We're all making it out of this alive," I grunt. After thinking about it some more I speak up again. "We're going to take them down once and for all aren't we?"

Alice shrugs. "That is my hope."

I point back down to the map and point out other stash houses but they both shake their head. Each one on either side of me, looking down, and following my finger.

We all speak up about the timeline, rest areas, and additional stops along the way. We argue a bit about what is more important and who will drive when, but overall, this is the first time we're coming together to set a common goal. We make some minor altercations to the map, nothing noticeable, and pack our things in the car. Once we're all inside, Charlie turns up the radio and plays some old rock and roll.

******

We make it to Vlad's safehouse the following night.

He wasn't kidding when he said we wouldn't be receiving the 5-star treatment. It is a warehouse, with no furniture, no running water, just an old building with broken windows. The temperature is falling quickly and I shiver at the thought of staying here. But not having to watch our backs makes this a much better alternative. Charlie takes out some blankets we purchased a few stores back along with some protein bars and waters.

Alice scouts the place, inside and out. Her focused gaze gives me a chance to watch her work. It is like night and day with her. I remember her bright personality, talkative nature, and flirtatious manner. Now, it is bored looks, focused analyzations, and barely any expressions on her face. Even now that we have gotten over our biggest hurdle, she isn't the same Alice that I came to know and love. She's much more reserved, always alert, and not one to waste time talking or making jokes. Is this who she really is? Has she been pretending the whole time we've known each other?