Sayuri's First Shoot

Sayuri Saeko was at a serious crossroads in her life. She was faced with a problem she never would have imagined she would have to confront. Sayuri was reluctant to use the word destitute, but if her conditions didn't change soon, she might find herself without anything to her name. All Sayuri wanted was a good life for her and her son, to ensure he had the best opportunities available to him. Yet despite her best efforts, life kept throwing obstacles in her path.

She made decent money as a teacher, yet due to budget cuts, her hours were dramatically lowered. It didn't take long for the smaller paychecks to eventually catch up to her. Sayuri found herself stressing over the monthly budget in order to keep both her and her son afloat. She even worked part time at a convenience store to make extra money on the side. It was a decent way to supplement her income. She then foolishly left that job to work at a different store closer to where she lived. However after only a few months she was laid off from that job as well. Sayuri attempted to apply back to the previous store, only to be told he had been promptly replaced.

It seemed luck was not on her side, and Sayuri was at her wits end. She applied to countless positions, went to job fairs, and even begged her last job that she left for her job back.

To put it simply, times have been tough. Ever since her divorce it hadn't been easy for Sayuri. Her ex-husband Takeo was no longer interested in financially supporting her, which was more than fair in her opinion. But he also refused to offer any kind of support to his own son, Makoto, which is what truly offended her. Tuition for Makoto's private school wasn't cheap, and she was struggling to pay off the debts. She remembered how Takeo was just as passionate about his son's academic success as she was. Yet as time went on and their marriage stagnated, Takeo grew resentful of both his wife and son. Sayuri just wished her husband didn't take his frustrations with her out on their son. He was innocent in all of this after all.

Sayuri hated feeling like a failure, like she had failed at being both a mother and wife. Like she had thrown away valuable time and effort all to end up in a helpless situation like this. It wasn't like she could come crawling back to her husband anyway- the bastard barely even wanted to do anything with his own son let alone her. The last Sayuri had heard of him, Takeo had left Japan and moved overseas to be with a foreigner. A woman who was also recently divorced and had children of her own.

How Takeo could just up and abandon his son like that, Sayuri could never wrap her head around it. She would always be loyal to her son Makoto and have his best interest in mind- yet Makoto as well resented Sayuri for her lack of warmth and for ultimately being the driving factor in his parent's divorce. Makoto had more disdain for his mother than the father who left him without so much as saying goodbye. Acknowledging this hurt Sayuri in ways she never imagined. Sayuri preferred to not let emotions dictate her actions, but coming to this recent realisation made her feel more desperate than usual.

Sayuri was reserved to a fault, her inaction leading to disastrous consequences to both her love and family life. She was often described as having a frigid personality, cold and distant both in regards to emotion. If you asked any of her students, none of them would say she was their favourite teacher. Her personality, or lack thereof, didn't lead her to having many friends at her place of work either. She also had never been a particularly wild lover- quite the opposite really. She found sexual acts other than for the purpose of recreation to be quite frankly, disgusting and unnecessary. She loved her son enough to never feel the need to have sex with her husband again. Any advance Takeo made on her was rejected with cold indifference. This of course led to many heated arguments, passive aggressive comments, and the eventual divorce.

It had been seven years since Takeo left her. Loneliness was never an issue for Sayuri, but there were times when she regretted how he treated her husband. Maybe she wasn't fulfilling her wifely duties. Maybe she cared more about her teaching job than her marriage. Maybe she cared more about her son's future than to focus on being there for him in the present. She would lie awake at night, contemplating endlessly all the missed opportunities and chances to truly form a connection with the men in her life.

She only wanted the best for Makoto. She had spent her free time between jobs tutoring him, preparing him for university exams years in advance. He had just turned 16 and was entering high school soon. Sayuri had secured him a place in a well respected private school, well known all over Japan. Tuition was not cheap but Sayuri had no regrets. With a diploma from this school, he was guaranteed to increase his chances of getting into any university he wanted. And in turn, give him the chance to have any job he wanted.

A job where he wouldn't have to worry about paying rent and having food on the table. A trouble that Sayuri was unfortunately familiar with, that she would never want Makoto to come to know at all.

Despite countless nights of arguing and lost sleep, Sayuri knew her son would thank her eventually. One day when he would come to be her age, Makoto would realise just how much his mother had truly helped him.

But how could Sayuri help her son when she could barely help herself?

Bills were piling up, and with absolutely no help from her estranged ex husband who had no interest in paying any form of child support, Sayuri was on her own. The cruel reality of the situation finally made itself apparent when one day her card was declined at the grocery store. Humiliated, Sayuri claimed that she left her other credit card at home and rushed out of the store, only to never return.

That was the last straw for Sayuri. When she came home she ordered cheap takeout for Makoto, a rarity in their household that he didn't object to. With no dishes to clean, Sayuri retired to her room early. She sat at her desk, opening up her laptop to resume yesterday's job search.

It was a dark and stormy night, the winds assaulting the window pane sent loud clattering noises throughout the room, lightning flashed and danced across the walls. Yet Sayuri remained unphased, intently reading every line of text on her computer screen to ensure a thorough scanning. She couldn't risk missing a single job opening.

It wasn't until Sayuri saw it- 500k yen up front for a job requiring no experience.

'Looking for mature women in their 40s to 50s, MILFs most wanted.' An ad read in bright red font, capturing Sayuri's eye immediately.

Sayuri felt her heart skip a beat. Five hundred thousand yen? That was a significant amount of money, nothing to be scoffed at. An amount of money that large could change the direction of Sayuri's current hopeless trajectory. Money like that would finally pay off her credit card debts- and lift a huge amount of weight off her shoulders.

She didn't know what a 'milf' was, however.

Sayuri continued reading the ad.

'New and inexperienced actresses welcomed. Money will be provided on site after production.'

"Actresses?" Sayuri said out loud, squinting as she examined the ad. It didn't take her long to realise just what the ad was for- an adult film. She knew it would be trouble when she saw such a high amount of money- of course it was too good to be true.

Staring at the screen for a few moments, she soon grabbed her cell phone and opened up the calculator app. She did the math, and the money offered up front would indeed cover her expenses for the next two months, not to mention pay off the debt she owed for Makoto's tuition.

Sayuri shook her head at the thought. Was she actually considering this? The last time she had any kind of sexual contact was 16 years ago when her son was conceived. How on Earth would she be able to pull something like this off when she wasn't even comfortable lying down with the man she used to be married to? Even after the divorce Sayuri never felt the desire to go back into the world of dating or seek out any other form of intimacy.

Sayuri recoiled at the thought of having sex with an absolute stranger. She couldn't imagine letting someone she didn't even know putting their hands on her- and while being filmed of all things. She scrolled past the link, choosing to ignore it. The large amount of money however, still remained in the back of her head.

An hour or so passed, and Sayuri noticed the time on her clock. It was getting late, and even if she didn't have work the next morning, she still preferred to wake up early every day to maintain a schedule. She sighed, tempted to just close all of her computer tabs and start fresh in the morning.

Despite the message her brain was sending towards her hands, her fingers remained still on her trackpad.

Sayuri bit her lip, gnawing on it as she reconsidered her entire moral compass and life up to this point. Her entire time on this Earth could be summed up in few words: vigilant, responsible, and cautious. She never was one to take risks or stray from her intended path. She thought this virtuous life style would only lead her to good fortune- but right as she was in the middle of her life, when it should be her peak, her happiest years-

She found herself on the verge of tears, unable to keep her once perfect life together. The very fabric of her existence was becoming unwoven right before her. Everything she ever worked for, her family- all of it was for nothing.

Sayuri moved her mouse and clicked back to the previous page. She reread the ad again. And again. Over and over til she finally decided to click on the link. She reluctantly filled out the form, typing in her phone number and sighing before she finally submitted it and the webpage began to reload.

'Thank you for your interest. We will contact you within the next 24 hours to schedule an appointment.'

---

The next day Sayuri was on the edge of her seat as she waited for her phone to ring. Instead of having him stay in to study, Sayuri granted her son permission to stay at a friend's house for the weekend. It was the first time she ever let Makoto go to a sleepover, but if it meant he would be fed for the next two days, so be it.

She tried to keep herself busy with chores, but she constantly found herself checking her phone, paranoid of missing the call that could be her ticket to financial security. When it finally did ring, however, and she saw the 'UNKNOWN CALLER' flash across the screen, Sayuri froze with panic, nearly dropping her phone. She swallowed the bitter tasting lump in her throat and swiped her finger across the screen, answering it.

"H-hello?" Sayuri managed to choke out. "With whom am I speaking with?"

"This is BlackLight Entertainment. Are we speaking to a Ms. Sayuri Saeko?" A male voice on the other line asked.

"Yes, that would be me." Sayuri nodded, straightening her posture and adjusting her blouse on instinct. Even if the conversation was on the phone, Sayuri still fell prey to her natural instincts. Appearance was everything, even in private.

"Nice to speak with you. We received your recent application and are interested in moving forward. Are you available to meet with us some time this week for an interview?" The voice asked.

"I can meet with you today- I'm completely free." Sayuri replied rather abruptly.

"Excellent! Can you be here in the next hour? Do you need the address?"

"I can come over right now. I have the address written down." Sayuri grabbed her coat and house keys as she made her way out of the house.

"Fantastic. We will see you soon, Ms. Saeko."

Sayuri stuffed her phone deep into her coat pocket as she made her way to the nearest train station. She kept her head down, determined to go unnoticed more than usual.

---

Sayuri managed to find the building, it was a part of a seedy office park wedged in between the crowded dense streets of the inner city. She was welcomed in by a scantily clad receptionist, and he handed her a form to fill out as she sat down in the waiting area.

She felt a bit silly, having to sign a form that confirmed she was of legal age. She was clearly an older woman, but the paperwork made her feel more at peace. Almost as if this was an actual job. Not that it wouldn't be a chore to go through, but she never considered anything like this a possibility. She cringed, considering the now tangible reality of being penetrated by a stranger. Participating in acts she wouldn't even do with her husband.

Sayuri felt goosebumps creep along her arms. She felt sick at the idea of it all. She had been a germaphobe since childhood, and took great pride in both her personal hygiene and grooming. Sex with a stranger who presumably had sex with countless others, the very thought of it made her shudder.

Perhaps in her desperation she made a severe lapse in judgment.

Sayuri frowned, staring at the papers in front of her. She fidgeted with the pen and bit her lip. Maybe she should leave. It wasn't like they could stop her- she hadn't signed anything just yet. She was under no obligation, she could go back home, she should go back home-

"Nervous?"

Sayuri looked up to see the smiling receptionist. He was a younger man who looked around college age. She made a mental note to never let Makoto end up in a place like this at that age.

"It's normal for first timers." He continued. "But the director is very supportive towards new cast members. You'll feel at home in no time." He winked at her playfully. "He gives the fresh talent special treatment so they can ease into it. You must be a brand new 18 year old, I'm guessing? You have that innocent look to you." He raised his eyebrows.

Sayuri rolled her eyes, holding back a smirk. She wasn't used to being flirted with, but cheesy lines trying to butter her up couldn't help but make her laugh. Still, a faint blush appeared on her face. It was nice to receive some form of flattery, especially at her age.

Maybe this was just what she needed to turn her life around.

Maybe it was simply cognitive dissonance, but the more Sayuri thought about it, the more she came to rationalise her current position. Her whole life she had followed the same steps, never straying so much as an inch from her predetermined path. Her stubbornness has caused more damage than she cared to admit.

This was the change she needed. This could fix everything.

She signed the paper and handed it to the receptionist, and a new figure appeared in the room as the front door swung open.

"Ah, you must be Ms. Saeko! I believe we talked on the phone earlier this morning." A man in a business suit approached her, greeting her with a bow. He looked well put together and had an aura of charisma about him. "Nice to meet you, I am the primary director of BlackLight Entertainment. Please, follow me to my office. We have many things to discuss." He gestured for Sayuri to follow him down the hallway.

Sayuri was surprised by how polite and formal he was, she wasn't expecting much from a porn producer afterall. He seemed kind and respectful enough for her to feel comfortable being alone in his office with him, she decided.

The director shut the door behind them and pulled out a chair for Sayuri. He sat opposite of her at his desk. With his hands clasped together he grinned at her, eyeing her up and down with approval. "So, Ms. Saeko." He started as he pulled his chair closer to the desk. "What made you interested in our film company?"

"I'm doing it entirely for the money." Sayuri replied sternly. "I honestly have no interest in this kind of thing. However I've recently been laid off from my part time job. And at my primary job, my hours have been cut." Sayuri said matter of factly. She managed to keep a straight face, wanting to retain her dignity while also being honest.

"That's more than understandable. We do offer the amount we feel best compensates for the work our employees do. Just how far are you willing to go, Ms. Saeko? Because we have different roles available, and the payment varies with each one." The director explained.

"What is the highest paying role you have currently?" Sayuri asked. She'd rather do one big role rather than multiple smaller ones. She figured it would be one and done, and she'd never participate in anything like this again.

"The one you applied for was for one of the more tame roles. We currently have an opening for a more raunchy script that would pay 800 thousand yen. Are you willing to act in something rather extreme? It might be a lot for you to handle."

"I'll take it. Whatever pays the most money, I'll take it." Sayuri insisted.

The director grinned wide. "I love your passion! I have just the role for you." He sifted through a stack of papers on his desk. Sayuri glared down to see the various words and phrases scribbled on them. She blushed and looked away quickly. He eventually pulled up a stapled document. "Here we go! This is the script. Filming is scheduled in 2 weeks."

Now, it's important that you refrain from using the toilet for anything other than urinating, Ms. Saeko."

"Hm? Why?" Sayuri was genuinely puzzled. What an odd request.

"I apologise for the vulgarity Ms. Saeko, but it's for quality control reasons. When you keep yourself clean for long enough without passing any feces, the anus slowly becomes less dark, and gives a nicer sight for the viewer. Afterall we are here to sell a fantasy, and many viewers don't like to be reminded that the actors have bodily functions." He explained.

"Oh- I see. That might be difficult for me to do however...two weeks, you said?"

"If you take these, it helps temporarily stop the flow, and it will eventually resume after you stop taking them." The director handed her an over the counter bottle of pills. Sayuri looked at it quizzically before placing it into her purse.

She found the entire request strange. But she ignored the feeling in her gut. She needed the money.

"And how could I forget!" The director stood up, grabbing a checkbook. "Here's your signing bonus." He tore off a fresh cheque and handed it to Sayuri. "I look forward to working with you, Ms. Saeko."

Sayuri gasped when she was handed the cheque and read the number on it. "Wow- I, thank you. I'm extremely grateful. I didn't even know I would be getting a bonus- but I only intend on working on one film."

"Of course, of course. There are no contractual obligations just yet. That money is for you to spend as you please." He assured her.

"Well, thank you. Very much, I truly appreciate this." Sayuri felt her heart flutter, thinking of the grocery trip she would go on after cashing the cheque.

"Ah, the pleasure is all mine. I'll see you in two weeks, Ms. Saeko." The well dressed director said with a sly grin.

As Sayuri rode the train home she examined the pill bottle. After looking up the brand on her phone, she decided it was safe enough. She had already come this far, there was no turning back now she figured. The day went on and she followed her usual schedule on her day off. Despite the attempt to maintain normalcy, Sayuri still felt a heavy feeling of dread at the bottom of her stomach. When she cashed the cheque at the bank however, the feeling soon dissipated.

---

Over the course of the next few weeks Sayuri managed to avoid any bowel movements. Pressure was building up in her stomach however, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold it in. It was a difficult task, ignoring the signals her body was sending her. She bit her lip whenever she went to the bathroom to pee, struggling to keep the shit inside. It was a tiring task to clench her anus shut, trapping in compacted feces.