All Comments on 'Scared Sister Pt. 01: Astraphobia'

I liked it, I find these more wholesome brother sister stories on lit better than most mainstream stuff nowadays, I loved how you based the relationship in love and care from a younger age before building the sexual tension. You also placed the we’re in this together from here on out line masterfully showing the siblings bond was greater than the parents bond.

Loved it! Looking forward to the next.

This is really great, passionate and tender. More, more, more! 👍🏻

Felt like I was reading a police report.

Incredibly sexy!

I loved the tender love and protective feelings between the pair.

Please don’t stop!!

Brilliant first story! Hope to see more from you.

Great job. I like the plot development.

Nice job for a first effort 👏 👏 👏. I gave you 4/5. But you still committed the same big error that so many incest authors make. The overuse of the sister addressing her sibling with "brother" in her dialog and vice versa for the brother. Real siblings don't talk to each other like that. You also drove Nikki's admonitions of "my brother shouldn't xyz" into the dirt too. LESS IS MORE.

"But we shouldn't be doing it," she retorted, "You're my brother. I'm your sister." Now she was grinning at me, "Siblings shouldn't be acting like that. Snuggling is okay when you're comforting me during a thunderstorm, that's just being a good big brother. But we can't do anything more than that. Because it would be wrong. Inappropriate. Understand?"

KUDOS for not making the usual your/you're mistakes. 👌 But at this point I was beginning to wonder if Nikki was schizophrenic or something. 🤔 You had her constantly running hot then blowing cold. It wasn't until she was crying after their shower and before their dinner date that I finally got into her head and understood her angst.

The fact that I couldn't read this straight through from beginning to end in a single sitting is evidence that you need to polish your craft some more. But the last two pages finally pulled all of the pieces together in a good way. Try letting yourself wrap up one or two loose ends before the final page. Don't leave the reader scratching their heads through most of the story.

Again, I look forward to your next offering.

Looking forward to chapter 2 of this, love the characters in the story!

I'm going to read this story but you almost lost me at the beginning. A one hour commute made you move out and not visit your family!? I and most commute several hours. This unnecessary or detail screams inexperienced home body. So for me it disrupts the believability of the story. I'm going to push it to the back of my mind, but if your character has the obligatory 9 1\2" cock I'm out.

Exquisitely written , Very sexy build to some intense sex . Love started years before they even knew ❤️ What a lovely slow burn read . ❤️

Part 2 with some smouldering fucking after months apart . Happy ending one hopes too .

You have a sexy talent , kisses from us , Karen 💋

This was a sweet story.

Great story now let’s go camping please.

I thought Nathan the older brother (he's got nine years on Nikki) would have at least a sexy splash of sexy chest hair across his chest, and maybe even a treasure trail. He seems to be a very handsome young man so eager to please his sister!