All Comments on 'School of Power Dynamic Ch. 01'

It is a fascinating start , and I hope this will just be a start to a series that can old get more interesting !

This is a great. Looking forward to the next part.

I'm curious about the beds. There are 2 when they first enter the room - and described as being the same. But when they return, there's one large bed.

A wonderful kickstart. Looking forward for more and more ahead

Great start to what promises to be a very interesting (and somewhat unique) story. Curious to see where you take things from here. Great work!

Oh, and yes, as has been pointed out below, the switch in the beds was a little bit unexpected. Even if an error though, it can hopefully be incorporated into the story.

A couple of inconsistencies: Firstly Emily receives her token twice when she should only receive it once. Secondly the Dorm room initially had two beds but this later became one large bed

Overall very high good. You definitely need a few more editing passes, you had a few issues such as accidentally writing the assignment ceremony twice(I can only assume you rewrote it and forgot to delete one of them), and I would advise keeping notes somewhere on relevant information, such as room layout, but the characters and world are enough to keep reading.

Also, consider physical descriptions, as it stands we just have the occasional hair color and height for these characters. In terms of general writing. height, build, hair color, eye color, ethnicity(when applicable, if every character is white, no need to say that) and any unusual physical characteristics are very useful for giving readers a mental image of the characters, and in erotica specifically, you also want to describe bust, waist, and ass, as those are key points for the fantasy you are trying to deliver. Cheerio!

Notice: The completion of the second chapter will take approximately half a month to a full month.

This story began while I was studying for an exam; as a result, I didn't have the opportunity to carefully check for typos or reread the story. It seems there are numerous conflicts that I need to address. My plan is to fix these errors before publishing the second chapter.

The second chapter will be crucial to the story's development, and it will be difficult to make adjustments after it is published. As a result, I am taking extra time to carefully consider the plot in order to maintain the overall setting of the work. Striking the right balance between too fast and too slow pacing is essential to avoid undermining the story's foundation.

Note: Please feel free to comment or send a message if you notice any errors in this story. I would also appreciate any ideas or suggestions you may have. ~~~

Awesome start can't wait for more! I did have an idea, perhaps this school had a fitness lesson or class and what's more elagent or submissive then ballet? Maybe a slave ballet class or even a mistres ballet lesson?

Here are some question that I hope will be answered.

1. Why are some girls Ladies and other not? What does it mean to be nobility are the Ladies daughters of previous Mistresses.

2. Why didn't any of the students know that this lottery would happen? Why do previous generations keep it a secret?

3. Are there other schools e.g an all boys school with the same dynamic?

4. What is the nature of this mystical bond? were the tokens paired e.g emily chose the mistress token paired with isabella's slave token. Or were the pairings determined some other way?

5. what are the limitations/cost of the ability to command your slave?

I would prefer it if the ability is limited in some way e.g each command is mentally tiring, command s are short term and wear off or can be resisted and broken over time etc. I wold find it more interesting if the Mistresses couldn't use their command ability to solve everything with regards to their slave. That way the Mistresses learn thesubtles arts of controlling someone when you have limited power over them through the use of the carrot and the stick and the slaves learn to chose to obey their Mistresses.

Are there any new chapters coming out. Really good start.

When will a new chapter come out?

Are you still going to upload the story

what a pity that this was. I am intrigued how the dynamic progresses. n't continued/ Such a promising start. Please try and continue,

Hii if you are going to post further as this plot is really good