Schrödinger's Hot Tub

I went into my bathroom and brushed my teeth and peed. I had planned to put on some kind of night clothes, but I was so exhausted I just hopped into bed still wearing my bathrobe and turned out the light on the night table.

I hadn't bothered to shut the door of the bedroom completely. Just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard the door open.

"Hey Zach, is it okay if I sleep in your bed with you tonight? It was just so nice being with you tonight and I'm not ready to be alone again. Not in a bed in a bedroom I don't really know."

Was this really a good idea? I was so tired I didn't give it any thought at all. I just said, "Sure," and pulled down the sheet and the edge of the duvet on the far side of the bed.

Chloe got in beside me. She was still wearing her pink bathrobe. She said, "Good night, Zach. Thanks for letting me be here," and kissed me on the cheek again. Then she turned away from me and snuggled in, spoon fashion.

It felt good having her there beside me like that. I put my arm around her waist and snuggled in with her, and almost immediately I was asleep.

* * *

I was sleeping pretty soundly, but at some point in the middle of the night, I felt Chloe shifting her position. I guess her bathrobe had loosened a bit, and now she took the hand I had around her waist and moved it up over her naked breast. I think she was still asleep, and I was almost afraid to breathe for fear of waking her up. Somehow, using my other hand, I was able to undo the tie on my robe so I basically had my naked body up against her in her robe. Not the best idea, I know, but hey, I was half-asleep. I guess my judgment was out cold.

I lay there a little while feeling her breast and feeling her against me and wondering about all this, but before long I was asleep again.

* * *

I guess it was very early morning when I started to wake up. Even before I opened my eyes, I felt something was different. I looked, and realized Chloe was now facing me and holding herself against me. Her robe was undone too, so now our naked bodies were pressed up against each other, and I could feel her breasts against my chest.

I couldn't tell if she was awake, or if she had done all this in her sleep.

If she was asleep, I didn't want to wake her up. Yesterday had been a big day, and she needed her sleep.

Pretty soon, however, I felt her starting to move. She shifted a little, gave a contented sigh, and snuggled in against me.

Then she seemed to wake up a bit, or become aware of things. She moved her arms enough to slip off the sleeves of her bathrobe, then murmured to me, "Hey, you too."

I pulled my bathrobe off, and she moved back in, holding me again. "This feels so good, Zach," she said in a soft, sleepy voice. "What happens under the duvet, stays under the duvet. Who cares if we're brother and sister? I love you."

It seemed like she was drifting off to sleep again. I had put my arms around her too. I didn't want to move a muscle.

Allowing myself to think about what was going on here would not be a good idea.

We lay there, facing each other, naked body to naked body. I knew this couldn't last, but I had no idea what would happen next.

Then I felt Chloe suddenly start squeezing me tight. I couldn't tell if she had awakened, or was dreaming, or maybe having some kind of nightmare. "I've missed you so much, Zach." She was crying, not wanting to let me go at all.

I found myself holding her tight and saying what I had been trying not to say. "I've missed you too, Chloe. I've thought about you so much. I've felt so guilty for not being there for you. I've been afraid of what you would think of me for leaving you."

Chloe just held me tight, gradually relaxing and seeming to fall asleep again.

I lay there, thinking about everything, thinking about the good times before Mom and Dad's marriage fell apart, and thinking about how close we were during the bad times. I had needed to apologize to her, but now I wasn't quite sure if she had heard me. But it seemed as if something had happened.

* * *

THURSDAY -- FOURTH OF JULY FIREWORKS

Eventually, I felt Chloe stirring again. "Good morning, sweet brother. I haven't slept that well in a long time." She lifted her head up and kissed me on the cheek.

"Good morning, Chloe. It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day."

I was still feeling very confused about all this. I mean, waking up naked together like this, wasn't that about as awkward as things could get?

Chloe didn't seem to notice. She sat up in bed, and I found myself trying not to end up staring at her breasts -- my sister's breasts.

I'm not sure how to explain things. From my description, you would probably assume that things were pretty sexual by now, that it was all out in the open, so to speak. But that's not the way it was. You know how it was for Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden before Eve wandered over to the Tree of Knowledge, and the serpent kind of tricked her into eating the forbidden fruit, and then she got Adam to eat some too? Well before that, in what they call the Prelapsarian times, Adam and Eve just hung around in the garden together, completely naked, and completely innocent. They had no idea about sex. Until the fruit, of course.

Anyhow, when we got up, we didn't feel any need to put clothes on. Chloe went back to the other bedroom to get her toothbrush and then we both headed into my bathroom. I stood there and peed while she brushed her teeth, and then we switched, and she peed while I brushed my teeth. Then we went into the kitchen, still naked.

I made some coffee, and we sat at the kitchen table drinking it. Chloe asked me, "What would you like me to make for breakfast?"

"I have an idea," I said. "Today is the Fourth, so we should do something special. There's a town about 10 miles or so from here called Wayne's Landing. They have a lot of little shops and restaurants and stuff, and it's all on the river. We could go there and get breakfast there and walk around."

"That sounds great," Chloe said. "I'd love that."

* * *

It didn't take long for us to get ready, and we headed out. Fortunately, it was still fairly early in the day, before most of the tourists would be getting there.

Wayne's Landing wasn't actually that far away, but the trip wasn't very direct, and the final portion of the drive involved a lot of winding along the river, so it took close to a half hour to get there. Fortunately, we were way ahead of the crowd, and there was no problem finding a parking space. We had breakfast at a restaurant with outdoor tables looking out over the river. Chloe was delighted with everything about it, especially the setting.

I had only been to Wayne's Landing once before, some time ago. It felt kind of touristy for my taste, but Chloe loved it. After breakfast, we went around looking at some of the shops and checking out art galleries. A lot of the paintings were the usual "souvenir art" -- landscapes by local artists and that sort of thing -- but some of the galleries had really interesting paintings, although those were not cheap by any means.

As I say, aside from the interesting art, the whole place was a little gimmicky to me, but Chloe loved it. The town where we grew up was kind of a cultural wasteland, and I don't think there was an art museum anywhere. Chloe's enthusiasm seemed like a much better response than my skepticism, so I began to enjoy it as well.

We held hands or had our arms around each other's waists the whole time we were walking around looking at shops and checking out art galleries. I realized I felt happier and more connected than I had felt on a date with anyone in the past.

There was a boat that ran up and down the river every hour, and we walked down to the dock and waited for the next departure. The boat ride was really relaxing, letting us view everything from the river. Chloe had her smartphone and was taking lots of pictures, including selfies of us.

By the time the boat returned to the dock, it was getting to be late afternoon, and it was obvious that the crowds were growing in anticipation of the evening fireworks. I suggested we might try to grab dinner before we left, since it was still early enough to beat the rush.

We passed by a Mexican restaurant, and I suggested we check it out. Chloe had never eaten at a real Mexican restaurant, only Taco Bell and some chain Mexican places. The owners of the restaurant were from Mexico, and the food was authentic. They even had a salsa bar to pick up the salsas you wanted for your chips. We ended up having enchiladas and Mexican beer, and split a flan for dessert.

As we were leaving the restaurant, Chloe hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Zach. This has been an amazing day. I loved all of it."

By now, the streets were getting so crowded it was hard to get anywhere, and we could see a long line of cars on the road heading into town. We were both glad to be heading out, especially seeing all those cars waiting to get in.

* * *

The trip back seemed to go faster. There was practically no traffic heading out of town.

When we got home, the sun had begun to set. I got another bottle of wine and some glasses and started heading out to the patio. Chloe said, "Hey, what about the hot tub? That's way more fun than just sitting and watching the sunset from a chair."

She didn't wait for me to answer. She headed back to get her pink robe. I put the wine bottle and the glasses beside the hot tub, and headed back to get my robe.

When I got back, Chloe had poured the wine, and was waiting for me.

We took off our robes and got into the hot tub. It seemed more natural this time than it had last night.

We clicked our wine glasses, and toasted, "Happy Fourth of July."

After a couple of minutes, we began to hear some music in the distance. It sounded like a band playing some John Philip Sousa music, very Americana, the kind of thing they play ahead of a fireworks display. It was a little hard to tell where it was coming from, but it seemed right for the evening.

After a couple of songs, we heard fireworks starting, and when we looked out slightly to our right, we could see the tops of the fireworks just above the trees. They must have been from the river celebration at Wayne's Landing. Our trip out there had seemed longer than that, but it had involved a bunch of complicated turns and then a windy road along the river, so I guess it was a lot closer as the crow flies than as the car drives.

The show was just starting.

"Oh, wow," said Chloe. "I thought we were going to miss out on the fireworks this year."

She sat back in the hot tub to wait for the next round of rockets. Then she suddenly hopped up out of the tub. "Wait here a second," she said, as she headed back indoors.

She came back holding a joint and a pack of matches. "Do you smoke pot these days?" she asked me.

"Once in a while," I said.

"Well, someone gave me this the other day, and I thought I'd bring it along in case the occasion arose. This seems like a pretty good occasion."

She looked around for a moment and spotted an empty flowerpot. "We can use this for an ashtray," she said.

She got back into the hot tub with me, and lit the joint. She puffed on it to get it started, then took a hit and passed it to me.

I took a hit. It tasted fresh and aromatic, but I could also tell it was pretty powerful.

"This is good weed," Chloe said. "We probably don't need more than two or three hits."

We took another two hits apiece, and then Chloe stubbed out the joint in the flowerpot to save for later. She sat back down in the hot tub and moved over next to me so our bodies were rubbing up against each other.

It was perfect timing. I was already feeling the rush, and another round of fireworks was just beginning. These were bigger and higher and much more spectacular.

Getting high and watching fireworks from a hot tub was pretty much a perfect way to celebrate the Fourth of July. Well, maybe a little more accurately, getting high and watching fireworks from a hot tub with my naked sister rubbing up against me?

That sounds wrong. Let's just stick to talking about the patriotic fireworks and how well the light show fit in with getting high.

I felt Chloe's' head lean against my shoulder as that burst of fireworks ended. It felt wonderful having her head on my shoulder that way. But then a few more booms and another round of fireworks began. Chloe sat up straight again. This round was even more spectacular, with more colors and new explosions bursting forth from the existing displays.

I was leaning back, just enjoying the show and feeling Chloe's naked body against mine. Everything was perfect.

* * *

Then, while I was watching the cascade of fireworks in the distance, I felt Chloe's hand reaching across my leg. Her hand kept going, and then I felt it wrap itself around my cock.

Neither of us said anything. I found myself trying to figure out what to say, or maybe what I was supposed to say, or whatever. I mean, wasn't I supposed to say something about this? Like maybe, "You do know that's your brother's cock in your hand, right?" But that sounded negative, and I certainly didn't want to be negative about anything right now.

Then, after a moment, I heard Chloe say, "Do you mind my doing this? I've been wanting to do this since I saw your cock last night. You have such a beautiful cock, I just wanted to feel it."

There were so many possible answers, but what I came up with was, "That feels wonderful. It feels beautiful. Don't stop."

The fireworks display was still in full force and we both watched it while Chloe continued to hold my cock in her hand and play with it gently.

I had thought I had the perfect Fourth of July scenario before, but this was so much better.

Chloe kissed me on the cheek again.

I was enjoying having her kissing me like that, but after a moment she said, "You know, I keep kissing you, but you never kiss me back. It...well, it makes me feel like this is all kind of one-sided. Like you don't want to kiss me? Like maybe you don't really like having me kiss you?"

This caught me by surprise. It wasn't true at all. I was just being...sensible. Right? I mean, after all, whatever else, she was still my sister. And there are pretty strict -- hell, totally strict -- rules about any of that stuff. Didn't they used to burn people at the stake over that kind of thing?

The fact that she had her hand wrapped around my cock? Had I noticed that? Had I told her to stop? That it was wrong?

Yes, I was high, and that did help make things feel good. But it didn't change right and wrong. I should know that. I was her older brother. She was my little sister. She looked up to me.

But I reminded myself, she wasn't my "little sister" anymore. I had seen that for sure looking at her totally hot naked body last night. She was 23 (and I was 25) -- did that make a difference? No, of course not. But...it was different, wasn't it?

I had always been an overthinker. When things were going south at home, I was always trying to figure out what was going on with my parents and whether each of them was right or wrong. It never helped, did it? It never changed anything.

I knew that at this point if I just kissed Chloe on the cheek, that would be pathetic. It would be stupid, and kind of insulting. I had to do something to show her it wasn't just one-sided. I had to at least kiss her on the lips. Just that, of course. To show her I cared too. But you know, just that.

She wasn't looking at me. She was just looking straight ahead. Sulking, perhaps? Of course, she hadn't let go of my cock, which I suppose meant something.

Did she want me to say something? Say she was all wrong about how I was feeling? Saying something, coming up with more words, was my natural default setting. That was a lot easier than actually doing something, or at least figuring out what to do.

Instead, I reached my hand out to her face, put my hand under her chin, and turned her face towards me. Then I moved forward and kissed her on the lips. Keep it simple, that was the point. She was still my sister, no matter what. Even if we were sitting completely naked in a hot tub together, with our bodies rubbing against each other, and her hand still wrapped around my cock.

Suddenly I felt her lips pressing hard against mine, and then felt her tongue running back and forth on my lips and then into my mouth and playing with my tongue.

This was not part of my plan. Not at all. But now that this was happening, I began responding, letting my tongue play with hers, and then moving it into her mouth to play with her some more.

We were kissing passionately, ignoring all the rules I had been trying to remember. With one hand I began pulling her closer, while with the other hand, I reached out to start feeling her breasts. I felt her grip tighten on my cock, and I felt her nipples start to harden against my hand.

"Zach," she said, "I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Chloe," I said. "I love you."

"I know you're my brother, and it's supposed to be wrong, but I also know I can trust you, no matter what."

There was another set of explosions and another cascade of even more elaborate fireworks in the distance. We both turned to watch them.

* * *

Chloe sat beside me, pressed against me, still holding my cock in her hand.

"You know," she said, as we kept watching the fireworks, "when I called to ask about coming to see you for Fourth of July weekend, I really had no idea what to expect. I didn't come out here with some idea of seducing you or getting naked with you or anything like that. I just wanted to see you after all this time.

"I didn't know if you would be different, or if we would be different, or maybe everything would have changed. But if I didn't give it a try, I would never know. I hate to think what I would have missed out on, things I never knew could have existed for me.

"I tried not to expect much. And at first, we didn't talk at all. We had pizza, we watched the sunset, that was fine, but I'm not sure all that was really worth the trip. I mean it was okay, but not nearly up to any of the things I had been hoping for. I was beginning to feel a little bit let down. When I saw you had a hot tub, I figured there was a chance to push things -- it might go wrong, but how much more wrong could things go? I had to try something. And if I hadn't done that, I don't think any of the rest of everything would've happened. Today wouldn't have happened, at least not the same way.

"In the end, everything has been so much more than I could have dreamed. I hope that you... Well, I guess maybe you understand."

I did kind of understand, but there were still a lot of questions and doubts running through my mind. The overthinking machine in my brain was still on high alert, looking to pick at anything that could. Like maybe the fact that this was my sister sitting naked next to me, with her naked body rubbing up against me...and holding my cock in her hand? And that we had just made out together? I mean, was the forbidden fruit that was tempting me...my sister? Could I even pretend to myself I wasn't tempted?

I couldn't think of anything to say to her that wouldn't be wrong somehow, so I just sat there.

Chloe sat there for a while too. We kept watching the fireworks display, listening to the explosions and enjoying the streams of color in the sky.

After a while, Chloe began again. She was still watching the fireworks too, but she was talking to me.

"When we were both at home and everything was falling apart, you couldn't wait to get the hell out. You even went to another state. I understand that, I understand it completely, even though it left me alone to deal with Mom and Dad. I don't blame you for that, not really; I got away from home too as soon as I could.