by murphy621
Definitely a 4, and could have been a 5 had it not concluded so abruptly. I mean, what about the years in between their meeting again at Starbucks and them at 60 years old per the beginning paragraph? Also, could have had some interesting back and forth how that meeting again led to their marriage. Also, it seems they were still young enough when they reconnected to have children. Did they?
This probably didn't, but could have, influenced the stone classic "Jacob's Ladder" by dtiverson, and maybe also "Jenny and Bobby Grow Old" by BillandKate. Just saying.
OK we get it, they got together and married. Did Sean ever have his own kids with her?
In fact I won't. Let us just leave it tat the fact that you are one of the worst writer on this site. No one, except maybe Edrider73, writes about more wimps. Glad you stopped posting.
The ending seemed hurried as if you had grown tired of writing the story. I believe I understand where you were attempting to go with your ending. However, the story would have definitely benefited from a richer more fleshed out ending that developed a bit slower as if its construction had been given a bit more thought.
Must have had the flu & got all loopy and sentimental due to double dosing on cherry cough syrup .
The problem is the random dating social system. To find the right mate is one of the most difficult thing. I think sometimes a single mom with children may be the end port for a divorced man.
I'd have put him on his pimply little ass. I respect a man who is willing to accept a widow with children. But don't ever disrespect my father, I don't care what psycho religious (or non religious for that matter) nonsense you have running around your head. I might be willing to accept a hyphenated name. One of my school mates did that.
I believe it deserves a five star. A very good story and well written. R.T.
Erotic but with a believable storyline. Smooth and easy to follow.
Thanks for the read
This is indeed a true short story. All is told. Short and sweetly. A 5.
Looking forward to next chapter, or is this one of those leave the reader hanging unfinished stories?
They were in love, Sean got drafted, and they drifted apart? I'm sorry, but that seems so very weak. And the rest of the story develops from this. The writing was fine but the story just didn't work for me.
Thanks, Tim
It's like the author hit submit instead of copying in the next page of the story.
ARE YOU GOING TO TELL US THE REST OF THE STORY? It would not be fair to even rate it at this point, so I didn't.