Sebastian Finds Himself

"Well Sebastian, enough about Sheldon, how about you, what have you been up to since you left our hallowed halls? What are you yourself, doing for a living?"

Mr Crowther had now touched on the very subject which I had fervently wished to avoid, but there it was; the question was asked, what was I to say to him - that I fucked rich men's arses for a living? I paused, trying to think of what to say and not to tell a downright lie, when Mr Crowther, smiling, said, "If it helps you, I can tell you that I know about the liaison you had with Charles Tennant during your final years at Sheldon."

"How the hell did you know about Charlie and me, for we never breathed a word of our activities to anyone."

"Oh, you know, Sebastian, I am a sharp observer of human behaviour and after a while it became clear to me that there was more than just a classmate friendship going on between the two of you. I am right, aren't I? Anyway, as the saying goes, it takes one to know one!"

"Mr. Crowther, you don't mean..."

"Well, yes, exactly. That is precisely what I mean. You and Charlie Tennant are both gay, and I myself am as gay as the pair of you! So there you have it. So, Sebastian, now that I have let the cat out the bag, tell me all about what you are now doing."

"Well, knowing what I now know, you have made my task a lot easier. When left Sheldon, I had no idea what I was going to do and quite by chance in New York I fell in with a group of really great guys, and finished up becoming a Male Escort. I guess I don't need to spell out to you what that means I do for a living."

"I should have guessed. You know why? Well that guy Clarence Parmiter from the publishers who invited you here tonight and I have a thing going together. He's another one of our fraternity, and I guess, now that you have told me what you do, that he is one of your clients. Am I right?'"

"Bingo! You've got it! In fact I had just finished servicing him this afternoon when, out of the blue, he invited me to this party; so that is how I came to be here"

"Well, as we are together and as the party was in my honour how about you and I having a bit of action together? Not to put too fine a point on it, Sebastian, I would really enjoy a good fuck to end the day. So, how about it?"

I will end this part of the story here, as I started stripping off with anticipation of what was now to come. Well, you all know What I do for a living and without going into details, I did of course agree and we had a great couple of hours together in his room. I have never seen Mr Crowther again since that day.

Chapter 7

As I have already remarked earlier, by an extraordinary stroke of chance, I was born on January 1st, New Year's Day, so my final term at Sheldon commenced more or less on my eighteenth birthday. I left the school for ever in June of that year at the age of eighteen and a half. Sheldon had no career's master or advisor and did not seem interested in what any of us would do once our schooldays were over. We all left Sheldon with or without our high school diploma, as the case may be and as far the the powers that be of that establishment were concerned, that was that.

However, although I left Sheldon a highly experience young fucker, I was still an anal virgin, a fact which bothered me considerably, for although I had shafted Charlie innumerable times, I found it hard to imagine taking another guy's cock up my own arse. It was something I knew I had, somehow, to come to terms with, but how? I tried once to figure how many times I had shafted Charlie, and it was into the hundreds over the year and a half I had been fucking him. I realised that I was what must have been 'the junior butt fucker the year'. And for my sins, I have to admit that I had enjoyed every minute of it. I do know who coined the phrase, 'fucking is a toy which never fails to please' but he was spot on! So, here I was quitting school, pushing nineteen years of age, so what next?

As you can well imagine, in view of the remote relationship I had had all my life with my guardian, Aunt Agatha, I had personally not the slightest idea of what I should do next. I had not been a particularly clever pupil at school and had scraped through the various examinations which all pupils undergo during their school careers and came away from Sheldon with a high school diploma which, frankly, I had obtained by the skin of my teeth: in short, even with no guidance from any of the Sheldon staff, I had already realised that I was not college material, although no one had ever discussed my life after Sheldon with me.

During my final months at the school, as I grew into manhood, it had become increasingly clear to me that I was a confirmed homosexual, a gay, as the common parlance puts it. I have said earlier that I had realised my own sexuality from a much earlier age, but my final term at Sheldon served to consolidate this fact in my mind. I realised that I just had to accept the fact that I had no interest in the opposite sex whatsoever and that my entire sexual thoughts, with which I was totally preoccupied at this time, were directed towards the male sex. So here I was, knowing that I was gay but with no sexual experience at all beyond Charlie's anus and with no idea what I should now do in life.

As I told you earlier, I had always excelled at athletics and had been a keen gymnast, with the result that by the time my eighteenth birthday arrived, I had developed a fine muscular physique, far better that that of any of my classmates. Additionally, I had been endowed by nature with a larger than average cock. In my final sixth months at Sheldon, I spent a lot of my spare time in the gym, working out and building up my physique, so that by the time I left that establishment, I had a magnificently muscular body and and a thick, eight inch long cock, which, as I remarked earlier, made my classmates green with envy. My cock was, in fact, my pride and joy, for I had been cleanly circumcised at birth, with the result that my cock head, or knob as I call it, was very pronounced and had an excellent rim, which set it off to perfection. All in all, my sexual equipment looked absolutely terrific, as my balls were held highly beneath my shaft, so that this vital combination formed one magnificent tool, of which I was inordinately proud; I just loved looking at myself naked in a mirror: an utter narcissist I suppose, but who cares? We are all what we are and have to live with ourselves as we are; I suppose that sounds a bit trite, but there it is, at least the way I see it myself.

Given my sexual orientation, I had also spent a good deal of time surfing the internet during my final months at Sheldon. I hate to think what the Prick would have done to my arse if he had found out how I spent my spent my spare time on the computer, but suffice it to say that by the time I left Sheldon, there was little I thought I did not know about the behaviour of gay men, a group to which I realised that I would, sooner or later, belong. In short I was theoretically fully aware of what my future life would be as a totally committed gay, but I had not the slightest idea of how I was to enter into the gay world to which I knew I belonged.

So I left Sheldon School and returned for the first time in years, to my Aunt Agatha's house in Boston: I really had nowhere else to go, so it had to be my first port of call. Of course I was now of age, being eighteen and a half years old, so that my aunt, my only living relative, was no longer my guardian; I was, so to speak 'my own man' and could do as I pleased.

Aunt Agatha received me with little enthusiasm and I then learned from her that I had, in fact, to my name a sum of some ten thousand dollars, which was all that remained of the money which I had inherited on the death of my parents. I have to say, that I had had no idea that I had inherited anything from my parents, but it now transpired that I had been the beneficiary of a quite sizeable sum, which Aunt Agatha had used to pay for my schooling and upkeep at Sheldon. So, in fact, I myself had paid all the expenses for my entire life since the age of two when my parents had been killed in the automobile accident, with my own inheritance, of which I was now left with the small residual sum of around ten thousand dollars.

Dear Aunt Agatha had not spent a single dime of her own money on me during my entire life. The old trout was quite open about what she had done and handed me a detailed account as to how my money had been spent over the past sixteen years, which even included paying for the lunches to which she took me on her four times a year visit to Sheldon: to her credit, every last thing was broken out in detail. In fact, Aunt Agatha, the dried-up old prune, knew exactly where my inheritance had gone. She turned out to have been an absolute skinflint; even the small presents she had sent me for Christmas and my birthdays over the years, turned out to have been paid for by me!

So, with no warm feelings, of any kind at all ,towards Aunt Agatha and without a clue what I was going to do, I packed my few belongings together, bought a train ticket to New York and, the next day, left Aunt Agatha and Boston forever. I neither kissed her goodbye nor did I thank her for looking after me, which she had manifestly not done; I just took what was left of my inheritance and left. I vowed, there and then, to myself that I would never ever treat anyone with such remote disdain as she had treated me: so there was a lesson I had learned from the old trout!

Chapter 8

I really had no idea what I was going to do in New York. I had my patrimony in the form of the ten thousand dollars which my aunt had handed over to me and so I was not immediately destitute, but I realised that I had to find a job as my cash would not last long. Anyway, I had to find somewhere to live and after a few nights in a cheap hotel and studying the property to-let ads in the papers, I found myself a small, furnished, two room apartment with a kitchen and bathroom on the upper west side of the city, which I was able to rent on a monthly basis, so if things did not work out I could leave pretty quickly.

All in all, it was a pretty grotty sort of place, but with cash tight I felt I had not much option. Now, as anyone who knows New York at all would tell you, this was not the best place in the city to settle, but at least I could afford it and I had a roof over my head whilst I got my bearings in this, to me, hitherto unknown city. I also acknowledged to myself that without a regular job generating some steady income, my ten thousand dollars would soon be gone, so finding gainful employ was top priority, but what? What, I asked myself, could I offer any prospective employer? My high school diploma was literally a useless piece of paper as far as I could see.

I lashed out and bought myself a laptop computer, for one thing I had learned at Sheldon via the computer lab. was that life was much easier with access to the Internet. So I now had the means to conduct my first orientation searches. What I quickly found out was that gays were super-well catered for at every level in New York life and so I started exploring a few bars to see what gay life was like in the city in the hope that I might get to know a few guys.

As I have already explained, I knew that I was totally and unequivocally gay, and I felt, from my surfing of gay male sites on the internet that I knew the sort of things gay men got up to with each other, but I had no practical experience beyond Charlie's arsehole; in brief I was an eighteen year old anal virgin who had had one and only one sex partner to date! But, one thing was sure; I really did know how to fuck butt and I reckoned that I had a cock big enough to satisfy even the most demanding of arses!

My sexual urges were now so strong that I could hardly live with myself, and so, like so many others before me, I relieved my frustrations by regularly jerking off. Unfortunately, my brief visits to gay bars did little for me, for I soon realised that as a meeting place for like minds, such bars were not for me; they all seemed so very seedy and I could not see myself picking up a partner in such locations. I began to ask myself if I was not just a snob; was I simply being too picky? But I somehow could not see myself ever becoming part of that scene; so what next?

I realised that my cock desperately needed some exercise with a third party, but at the same time I had to acknowledge to myself that I was incredibly scared of taking the first step in what was the real world. I suddenly realised just how much I missed Charlie and being able to fuck him and that I had to find a new partner as soon as possible. I also had to face up to the fact that sooner or later I would have to surrender my anal virginity and let him ream out my own hole, although I was terrified at the thought of that first time, when another guy's tool would enter my body.

For that matter, even thought I was fully experienced at fucking butt, I asked myself how I would take the first step and stick my cock up the anus of an unknown guy. I felt I knew all about fucking butt, but when I analysed my feelings more deeply, I realised that I had no idea at all of how I would feel or perform, when confronted for the first time with a new anus; and the more I thought about it, the more scared I became. It was not the same as with Charlie and could never be, but I was scared and I really didn't have a clue. Charlie had been the one who had originally come on to me, that day when we were alone in the showers and proposed that I fuck his hole and I had never given any thought as to how I would find an alternative harbour for my cock now that Charlie was but a memory - and a fast disappearing one at that, I might add. So much for the private thoughts of a young man who thought that he understood everything about gay sex, but who found the practicalities of getting into the stream somewhat daunting.

Another burning problem was that I had to find a gym where I could continue to work out on a regularly basis, as exercise was a key component of my regular life. Athletics and sport had been the two areas where I had excelled at Sheldon, but nevertheless, I did not see myself as a professional athlete. I just wanted to keep fit and look after my physique, in which I had that deeply narcissistic interest which |I have already memntioned; I just loved looking at myself naked in full length mirror and no one could have been a greater admirer of my cock than myself. All in all I thought that I looked absolutely terrific naked, but what did others think of me? I really had no idea.

Although I was not yet sexually active in New York, I had given a lot of thought to what was generally called 'safe sex'. Surfing the web, I had become acutely aware of the danger of HIV infection and its sequel, AIDS, and I realised that I had to get myself familiar with protective methods now that I was in the big city and on the prowl, so to speak. Anyway I found a sex shop which sold everything a guy might need for his cock. The checkout clerk was a really helpful guy and showed me a recently introduced condom pack under the brand name Fukit, which he thought was an abbreviation for 'fuck-kit', as the supplier had had the good idea of providing a flat pack of two condoms specially intended for gay sex together with two sachets of lubricant.

As the sales guy said, it really was a neat small kit for fucking and handy for slipping into any pocket. He also pointed out to me how important lubrication was in anal sex, for as he explained, men just do not autolube themselves in the way a woman does when sexually aroused, which was something which had never occurred to me. So, gay sex had to involve lubricants if it was to be a comfortable as well as an erotic experience.

What had I done all those times with Charlie, I wondered; I guess it was a bit of spit and soap, looking back on it, but it had not seemed a very important question at the time; with the enthusiasm of youth, I had just banged away at Charlie's hole and he had taken the rough with the smooth. Lubrication with a specially designed lubricant was not anything which had ever crossed my mind until the sales clerk mentioned it. Anyway I bought myself a couple of dozen of these useful packs and although I had never pulled a condom on to my cock in my life, I realised that the day I found that hitherto elusive first time partner, I would need to be ready and so I always had a packet of Fukits on me.

Having kitted myself out with the bare necessities of safe sex accoutrements, I decided to open up a Fukit pack and try putting on a condom in private so that I knew how to do it. My cock, eight inches long when soft, expanded to ten hard inches and I discovered that the Fukit rubbers were generously sized and long enough for me to sheath my entire tool. The Fukit lube pack was generous too. So I made sure that I offered up the rubber on the right way round, so that I could unroll it over the length of my shaft.

I also decided that I needed to attend to my wardrobe, for I had only my old school clothes, which were not exactly fashionable and none of which did anything to enhance my figure. Remember, as I have already told you, like many young gays who were body and cock conscious, I had a strong narcissistic streak; I liked looking at myself and hoped that other guys would look at me with envy, so suitably sexy clothes emphasising my physique seemed important.

So, I decided to splash out on an entirely new wardrobe. Out went the old Y fronts which I replaced with a set of form fitting thongs. I liked the idea of a well cut thong to support my crown jewels as they avoided the elasticised back legs of normal briefs, which I always thought spoiled the look of a guy's buns through the seat of his pants. I had quite a time finding the right type of pants and jeans, for I wanted something form fitting to show off my bubble butt with smooth uninterrupted curves. At the same time I wanted them to be sufficiently tight to show any onlooker that he was looking at an exceptional set of fuck tools. As I have said, I was proud of my body and kit and saw no reason not to make the most of it.

Anyway, I finally found a shop which had what I wanted and bought myself several pairs of pants, some jeans, a couple of casual jackets and one designer type suit. I also acquired a dozen or so form fitting shirts, which married themselves to my torso and I included a couple which I could leave largely unbuttoned to show off my abdominal muscles. When I finally got myself dressed in one of these outfits for the first time, I looked at the results in a mirror and thought that I looked a very sexy and desirable stud: my clothes enhanced my muscles, my pants hugged my butt and gave me a discernible, but not too outrageous a crotch bulge; I was pretty sure that I would have no problem drawing looks of envy, if not more! I spent a very pleasant afternoon trying on my various outfits and admiring myself in the mirror. And, having finished admiring myself, I jerked off in front of the mirror and splattered it with a good dollop of my thick and creamy cum.; and that was the nearest I had come to sex since my arrival in New York.

Chapter 9

Having got myself settled in my little apartment and kitted myself out with a complete new wardrobe, I realised that I had now seriously to address two key problems: getting myself a job and finding myself my first sex partner. Dame fortune luckily intervened and provided the solution to both problems.

I had picked up one of those advertising free- sheets which proliferate in large cities, and started to read the 'jobs vacant' columns, where I came across a small ad. placed by an establishment called Jonathan's Gym. Jonathan's Gym turned out to be located in an upmarket part of New York on the east side of Central Park at the same street level as my apartment on the much less desirable, west side of the park. Jonathan, whoever he was, was looking for a temporary trainer for his gym to replace one of his regular guys who had sustained a knee injury and would be out of action for about two months. It was only a temporary post, but which, if I were successful in getting the job, would ease the pressure on my finances for a while and give me breathing space to find something more permanent. Also, I felt that this was an ideal job for me as you will remember that I was a keen gymnast and needed a place where I could work out myself a few times each week.