Second Chance At Love

My heart hurt -- from what she had been through, what she was going through; and from my own feelings of loss this stirred up; but most of all, from my feelings for her. I never stopped loving my sister, neither the girl who rescued me from that darkest time of my young life, nor the beautiful woman that she had become; the woman sitting across from me in a slightly kitschy, Mexican restaurant with novel candle fixtures on the table.

(They put different-colored candles in a variety of tequila bottles, one on each table, let the wax melt down, then put another candle on in a different color and let it melt, so on and so on. You end up with a waterfall of different-colored candle wax completely enveloping the bottles. They became trademark table fixtures for the restaurant.)

It was Jessie's voice cutting through the fog, "I don't think I can drive," she chuckled, slurring slightly.

"Yeah, I'm feeling a little fuzzy myself."

I called Emilio over, "Mi amigo, we're going to need a taxi...and we'll need to leave our cars here for a while, if that's okay."

"Si, Jake. Is fine, or maybe we can arrange for them to be brought to your home, if you like?"

"You can do that?"

He went to the bar, and a rapid-fire exchange in Spanish between him and Consuela, one of the owners, led to her coming to our table.

"Senor Jake, Emilio explained your situation and if you permit, we will get you and your cars home."

"Oh, that's sounds like too much to..."

"Don't be silly, Mr. Jake. You and Miss Jessica are family. Oh, Miss Jessica, you had an accident?"

Jessie laughed, "Yeah, I accidentally married a cheating asshole!"

Consuela cackled, "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Esas trampas, nada bueno, mierda de gallina! All of them, except you, Jake. You are such a good man. You take care of Miss Jessica. We will take care of you."

With our cars following, Consuela drove us home in her Escalade, and regaled us the whole way with stories about her three 'chickenshit' ex-husbands.

I stilled lived in the home Elise and I had purchased when she sold her first book. After she left, I redecorated the entire house, changing, as much as possible, everything that had her stamp on it or reminded me of her.

By the time we thanked Consuela and said goodbye, I was starting to sober up. Jessie, not so much.

"Oh, Jake, I may be sick."

"I'll get you some ice water, and we'll get you in a hot bath, sweat the alcohol out."

"Sounds good...and thank you, Jake."

"No worries..."

"No Jake, I mean, thank you! Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for always being here for me."

Her hand was already on the back of my neck, and she pulled my head down and pressed her warm, full lips into mine, kissing me firmly for several seconds. Releasing the kiss, she placed her head on my shoulder, leaning into to me, swaying a little.

"Sorry," she mumbled into my shoulder.

"No apology, necessary." I held her by the shoulders and separated us, so I could look her in the eyes...and so she wouldn't feel my penis react to that kiss, which it did.

"You never have to apologize to me for anything. Come on, let's get you into a hot bath. I'll get your robe and pajamas, and a lot of ice water."

After getting a pitcher of ice water and a glass, I led her to the guest bath, next to her bedroom, and when I saw she was steady enough to get undressed, I went to fetch robe, slippers and night clothes.

Long before Elise left, we had set up one of the guest suites for Jessie and Derrick. They occasionally came for weekenders, and when Derrick traveled, Jessie frequently came for visits, even if I was out of town, as she and Elise got along swimmingly.

When Elise left me, I think Jessie felt almost as betrayed as I did.

I knocked on the bathroom door, "Got your clothes."

"Come in."

Jessie was standing at the vanity, sipping ice water and studying her face in the mirror. Her clothes were in a pile at her feet. Only a lacy pair of powder blue panties provided any coverage of her long, sleek body. I stood and stared, a lump in my throat and one forming elsewhere. I had seen Jessie in a bikini, many times, which also had a serious effect on me, but this was different.

Elise wasn't here. Derrick wasn't here. My emotions were all over the place. And I was in love with the naked woman in front of me.

When I entered, Jessie distractedly glanced my way, "Thanks, honey." And went back to looking in the mirror.

"I'll get the water running," I mumbled as I set her clothes down and passed to the tub, trying not to stare at her nude form.

I got down, activated the stopper, turned on the water and tested it for temp.

Behind me, in the smallest voice, "Jake?"

I turned and looked up. Jessie was standing less than three feet away, looking down at me. My gaze involuntarily traveled up her long, finely-muscled legs, and firm, elongated torso to her slightly pouting, teacup-shaped breasts, capped with medium-sized, chocolate-brown aureoles and long, eraser-shaped nipples. In all these years, I had never seen her beautiful breasts. My breath stuck in my throat. When my eyes met her troubled gaze, I quickly refocused.

"Jess? What is it?" I reached for her hand and stood.

"Jake, I don't understand," she started, her lower lip quivering, "why, why wasn't I enough for Derrick? Why couldn't I be..."

I grabbed her to me and crushed her in my arms, "No, no, no. Jess, this is not about you, about what you are or are not. It's about Derrick." As I spoke into her ear, I stroked her long, wavy hair. "You remember telling a scared, confused little kid one time that 'it isn't about you, stupid people say and do stupid things'. Well, Derrick is a stupid man, who gave in to foolish lusts, sacrificing the best thing he could ever have hoped to have in his life -- you. I don't understand how he could do that, either. He couldn't possibly have been in love with you, even half as much as I..."

I caught myself too late.

I felt Jessie move in my arms. She grasped my shoulders, and slowly moved us apart to look me in the eyes. Her troubled expression was replaced with one of surprise, confusion.

"You love me? You don't mean like a sister..." her voice faltered.

I hung my head and slowly shook it, no.

"You are 'in love' with me?"

I nodded slightly, still not meeting her gaze.

"How long...Oh, I'm going to be sick!" She quickly broke from me and crouched over the toilet.

I immediately felt sick, too. I was crushed. This was worst reaction I could have imagined to that confession.

"I'm sorry, Jess, so sorry..."

"No, Jake, the alcohol," she managed between wretches.

I gathered her hair up with one hand and held her shoulder with the other, then realized the tub water was almost to the overflow. I reached over and shut it off.

When she had finished, I helped her stand and offered her water to rinse with.

"Okay, drink the rest. It may make you throw up again, but will get the alcohol out of your stomach."

She nodded and finished the water. After that came up, she indicated that she was better, went to the sink and brushed her teeth and gargled. I checked the tub water. It was hot, steam drifting off it, but I judged not too hot. When she had finished rinsing her mouth, I suggested getting in the tub to help her body sweat out the rest of the alcohol. She nodded and moved to the side of the oval tub, hooking her fingers in her panties to pull them down.

"I'll be outside if you need me," I said and turned to the door. As I was leaving, I heard her settle into the hot water.

"Jake, stay. Please. I don't want to be alone...and we need to talk."

I turned back and went and sat on the toilet seat. She reached a slender, wet hand up, took mine and gripped it firmly. Looking up at me, her face was now relaxed and her expression had softened.

"Jake, honey, thank you for sharing that with me. I know you didn't mean to, but I'm thankful you did. It makes this a lot easier for me.

When you came to live with us, I soon realized that you were infatuated with me. I thought it was cute, and also it tickled me. I was 16 and in the middle of teenage girl angst, wondering if I was pretty, if boys would like me, if my body was too skinny. Other girls were filling out, getting their 'cheerleader' boobs and hips. I was very self-conscious. And, I was attracted to some boys in school who were Caucasian, and didn't know if they would be attracted to me. Your attention helped me with that."

"You know," she continued, after I went to college, I missed you, missed your attention. And while I was gone, you grew up, became a man, almost without me realizing it. I did notice when I came home to visit, that you were getting taller, filling out, and becoming quite handsome. But what really got my attention was when I came home for your graduation. I had missed your 18^th birthday because of school and felt terrible about that, but made sure to be home to see you graduate.

I had come home the night before, and when I arrived, I had to pee. I'd been holding it too long. I was listening to music on my MP3 player and barged into the bathroom to go. I was halfway to the toilet when I realized you were in the shower. I knew I should leave immediately. But I froze, mesmerized by the sight in front of me. You were taller than me by then, and already on your way to being buff. Your body was not hard on the eyes. And you were jacking off to beat the band. I couldn't take my eyes of your penis, your hand jacking back and forth on it so fast. I was fascinated and aroused at the same time -- watching the blur of your hand and looking at your rigid cock. I was surprised how big it was. I had been with several men by then and none of them had a thing on you," She giggled.

I blushed.

"Jake, I got so aroused, that I quietly backed out of bathroom, went to my bedroom and jilled off like crazy. I came faster than I ever had before. And, Jake, that was the first time I imagined you...taking me. But it wasn't the last."

She grinned, "You became my go-to fantasy. And when you got to college and we would meet for lunch or something, I started seriously considering seducing you, but always lost my nerve."

I sat in dumb silence as she continued with her revelations. She laid a hand on my leg. I had been looking into space, but now looked down at her. She was looking at my leg, focused there. She lightly slid her hand up my thigh as she talked, outlining my erection with her long, delicate fingers -- the erection I hadn't realized I had.

"One time, after a crappy date with a guy that was all over me, I decided to pay you a visit at your dorm room. It was one in the morning, and although I didn't like the guy, he had gotten me turned on. I'd had enough to drink, that in my turned-on state, I went to your room thinking...well maybe. But it was not to be. You had company."

It was then she realized what she was doing and pulled her hand back, gave me an embarrassed 'sorry' look, and shrugged her shoulders.

"But, Jake honey, though I loved you and had sexual fantasies about us, together; I wasn't 'in love' with you."

My heart sank.

"It wasn't until you married Elise and I saw how you treated her, how you cared for her, respected her, how affectionate you were with her. That's when my own infatuation with you changed; that's when I fell in love with you, Jake."

She shivered, "Jake, honey, the water's getting cold."

"Oh, sorry." I quickly got up and grabbed a towel.

She stood while I was reaching for it. When I turned to hold the towel up for her, she was standing facing me, rivulets of water trickling down the contours of her latte-hued body. Beads of water dripped from the dense curls of her full, dark bush. She captured my eyes with hers in a direct gaze, letting me know this wasn't accidental.

I was frozen for a moment, holding the towel in my hands, but not reaching to wrap it around her. Slowly, she reached a hand out and placed it on my shoulder, lifted a leg and stepped out of the tub, then stepped out with the other. The motion was fluid and graceful, like a ballet dancer.

Almost in a trance, I brought the towel up and wrapped it around her, my eyes still locked on hers. Reaching around her brought my face within inches of hers. I could see the subtle patterns in the irises of her eyes. I could feel her warm breath and smell the light scent of her perfume, still lingering in her hair.

Almost in a whisper, in that lightly husky voice of hers that I find so sexy, she continued, "That's when I fell in love with the man my brother had become. Before Derrick, I had several lovers, but only two boyfriends; and while I'd had plenty of sexual experience, I had little experience with how relationships could be -- except for Mom and Dad, but parents are a different thing. Anyway, my relationship with Derrick was very different than the one I saw you had with Elise. I was envious, jealous, and I didn't think she deserved you; didn't see her putting into you what you put into her -- no pun intended," she grinned, then became very serious.

"That's when I realized what I didn't have with Derrick, how he didn't treat me, how he didn't adore me, the way I saw you treat her, adore her. I wanted that, to be loved like that. I really believed that Derrick loved me, but I knew he didn't love me like that. And I wanted that. And the more I wanted it, the more I wanted you, but I knew it could never be. I was married, you were married, we had different lives, we were brother and sister..."

I only nodded slightly in response. Her revelations had left me speechless. The events of the last few hours had seemed surreal. She paused to dry off, tilting her head to the side and beginning to dry her hair. Her plump breasts wobbled erotically. I stood and watched her as she dried her arms, then her torso and down her long legs. When she stood, she saw me watching her, and a small smile curled the corners of her lips.

"Jake, do you think I'm pretty?"

"You are so beautiful it hurts my heart. And I don't know how much longer I can look at you like this without having a coronary."

She smiled, handed me the towel and nodded at her clothing. I hung the towel and turned to fetch her clothes.

"Just the robe and slippers," she requested.

When I went to hand her the robe, she turned her back to me and held her arms out to the side for me to slip the robe on her, at the same time giving me a full view of her backside, her long, finely-muscled back, round, firm buttocks and long, slender, but well-defined legs. Hands trembling, I slipped the robe on her.

She faced me, taking my hands in hers, "I'm sorry, but I wasn't teasing you. I needed to see a man, someone that mattered to me, look at me the way you did; to make me feel beautiful, desirable. And thank you for telling me I'm beautiful. I needed to hear that. I think you know how it can crush you when someone you love rejects you?"

I nodded, "All too well."

"And, Jake, when you revealed that you loved me, I mean, me the woman, it made me feel like I could breathe again, that life hadn't just ended for me, which is what it has felt like since yesterday. Baby, I don't know where we can go from here, but just knowing there is a possibility, a possibility to...to have something, a life, love...I don't know...say something, Jake."

My mind was spinning, thinking about all the ramifications of this -- our love and all the complications that would accompany it, but for the life of me, I didn't have a single answer for her; not even a coherent thought.

"I don't know how either, but, Jess, I do love, have loved you for a very long time. I don't know what or how we...our parents...our relationships with them...All I know is, I see you as the most desirable woman I have ever laid eyes on, and am helplessly in love with you."

"Then...make love to me, right now."

I didn't hesitate, couldn't. I scooped her up and headed up the stairs. I remembered carrying Elise like this. But my anticipation then at what would happen next, never equaled what I felt now.

Don't get me wrong. Elise was beautiful, classically so -- 5'-8" and 130 pounds; perfect figure, full C-cup breasts that lay nicely on her chest; a slender waist leading to nicely flared hips, long, subtly-muscled legs; and a derriere that was just the right amount of full, without being too big -- a well-proportioned 37-25-36. Her hair was dyed blonde, but a natural brunette, her neatly trimmed bush was a medium brown with soft curls. I loved her body and making love to her. And, as Jessie had said, I adored her.

But I don't think I ever loved her like I loved Jessie. And as I reached the upstairs landing, a thought bubbled to the surface: Could she have sensed that? Had I ever done something to reveal that? I didn't think so, but it was a troubling thought. Then I wondered if Jessie had done anything to give Derrick pause. Were we somehow responsible for own marriage failures? I brushed those thoughts aside as I entered the master bedroom and approached my bed...or, our bed?

After tonight, would it be?

I laid Jessie on the bed and stood looking down at her. She looked up at me and pulled her robe open. Her full B-cup breasts sat up on her chest, proud and firm. Her long, slender torso and taut stomach led to slender, slightly flared hips that completed the outline of her sleek, beautiful upper body. Her long, well-toned legs completed her intoxicatingly beautiful, willowy figure. I was still standing, taking her in, when she spoke.

"Jake?" she cooed in her low, husky register.

"Are you sure about this?" I questioned.

In answer, she swung her legs off the bed and sat up, letting her robe fall off her shoulders. She reached for my belt and undid it, then stood and began undressing me. While unbuttoning my shirt, she leaned forward, tilted her chin up, and pulled my head down, pressing her warm lips to mine, then lightly played her tongue across them. I met her tongue with mine, teasing the tip. She slipped her tongue between my lips and engaged me in the most soulful kiss I had ever experienced.

I pulled her to me, crushing her against me in a passionate embrace. I felt my penis swell and press against her thigh. She slid her left hand down and grasped my erection, sliding her hand down the length. She brought her hands up, and I loosened my embrace. Grasping my shirt, she pulled it off, then pulled my t-shirt off over my outstretched arms. Dropping to her knees, she pulled my chinos down and I stepped out of them.

As she pulled my boxers down, my aching erection sprung free and hit her in the chin.

She grinned up at me and grasped it with both hands, gently fondling it with her slender fingers. It throbbed in response to her delicate touch. She held it, examining it as she tenderly slid a hand up and down the length; then, she slipped the head between her full lips and swirled her tongue around the end. I was euphoric. I watched her in silence, running my hands through her long, wavy, black hair,

Owing to her mom's Mediterranean heritage, Jessie's hair is naturally wavy, and her long, thick mane hangs to the small of her back. I always admired it and now I relished the chance to run my hands through it.

She stood, still holding my turgid member in one hand, "Go slow, my lover. I want our first time to be special...I haven't been made love to in a long time. Derrick and I have had sex on and off for the last few months, but it's been a long time since I felt any real passion on his part. I guess we both know why, now."

Her eyes filled with tears. I kissed each one and assured her we would have a memorable first time.

In a soft voice, I declared, "I feel like I've waited all my life for this moment, to make love to you, to please you."