Second Chance Ch. 04

"I have to tell you something Tim. You were completely honest back at the restaurant, and you deserve the same from me." He gave her a curious stare, but refrained from interrupting.

"There's something that I never told you about college. I wanted to, but the time never seemed right. I was afraid it would be hurtful, but after what you said to my mom, I started wondering if you knowing would have prevented all of this." She paused, deciding the best way to say what was on her mind.

"When Jake started acting like a friend during the summer break, there was a reason the things he said were able to resonate with me." She paused again and fidgeted nervously. "He told me that he had a lot of problems with women who just wanted to be around him because he was so well known or because they thought he'd be rich some day. That struck a chord with me."

"Why?" he said suspiciously.

"Because I wasn't sure how you felt about me," she said quietly.

Tim sat still, completely stunned. "Wasn't sure? How can you say that? We...I..." His voice trailed off, too astonished to think of how to respond.

"I knew you loved me," she assured him, "but I wasn't sure it was for who I really was. I wasn't sure what our future was."

"I don't understand, Donna. What do you mean, if it was for who you were?"

"Tim, you were a wonderful person and I loved you, but try to think about what it was like back then. We were so young. I was your first real girlfriend. You cared for me, but how often did you stand up to me to voice the way you felt about things?"

"Probably not very often," he admitted trying to remember past the fog of the fond memories.

"Almost never," she replied. "At some point, you and I were both going to grow, but what was going to hold us together when we did? Were we going to grow apart? Was there enough there to make us last?"

"Donna, that's crazy," I said, unable to stay quiet any longer. "I told you every day how much I loved you."

"You told me every day how beautiful I was and how much you enjoyed being with me, but where were the difficult talks? To move forward, we needed to challenge each other and not be afraid to speak our minds. At some point it became more physical than emotional and I started wondering," she looked away, "if maybe I was wrong about the way you felt about me, and maybe you were in love with the fantasy of me."

"What was going to happen when I couldn't live up to the fantasy?"

"Donna, I just can't imagine you being that insecure."

Her eyes lit up and he could see her cheeks redden as her temper flared. "Of course not. I'm not supposed to feel afraid or insecure, I'm beautiful," she said, her voice thick with sarcasm. "You think that because you see me that way, I didn't have a worry in the world? Well, I've got news for you. I get scared, the same as you. I did back then and I still do today."

She took a deep breath and her voice became softer. "You said you saw yourself as someone who didn't deserve someone like me. Did you even for a second consider what I have to worry about?" Seeing his disbelieving stare, she continued.

"I don't know how you can't see it, Tim. In ten years, you're going to be handsome and even more successful. In ten years, I'm going to be ten years older. How do you not understand how scary it is for me to think about the women who will look at you as a prize catch? Younger women who'll do anything to turn your head? I'll be older and probably have a couple of kids. How will I compete?"

"Donna, there is no competition. You are all I've ever wanted, from the moment I saw you." He smiled at the memory. "You know, right before I walked into the wall." They both laughed and the mood seemed to lighten a little. "So why did you want to tell me now, after so much time?"

"Because of the things you said about yourself to mom. When you asked me to stay, I realized that there was nothing I could do to fix your assumption of what happened back then. I thought I could make up for the past by being the best girlfriend, then wife that I could be. But I couldn't. Nothing I said or did could make you believe that I'd be there forever for you. Because you saw yourself as the lucky one and never considered the fact that I am the one who feels blessed to be in this relationship."

"After everything I did, everything that happened to me, I got to not only be with you again, but you were a different person; a stronger person. You were confident, unafraid, and willing to deal with me like your partner, your equal. That's all I ever wanted." She took his face in both hands and stared into his eyes, willing him to believe she was telling him the unvarnished truth.

"Trust me, there was never a point in my life where I thought he was a 'better man' than you. He used lies, tricks, and my own fears to come between us. That's all there ever was, and you need to know it so you'll stop believing that you have to worry about men like him."

Tim kissed her gently, hoping to reassure her. "Why didn't you tell me all this when you came back?"

She visibly tensed again. "How could I have done that? I show up after five years, then tell you the reason I cheated was because I was insecure about our relationship? What would you have thought?"

He paused to consider his feelings at that time. "That you were making excuses, trying to put the responsibility for what happened on me. I would have been furious," he admitted.

Donna nodded, her face contorting into a pained expression. "There was no way to be honest with you that wouldn't end up making everything worse, and maybe drive you even further away."

"When you asked me to stay, I was thrilled, but still a little nervous about what might happen. That's why I took things so slowly. I wanted to be sure before things went further again. Right until I found the ring."

"Yeah," he said with a chuckle, "I remember that day."

"It was like a lightbulb went off for me," she confided. "If I had been honest with you back then, you would have had the chance to give it to me in college, and maybe we could have worked through the problems. Not only would I have avoided all the bad things that happened to me after you left, but I could have spent that last year of college with you and watched you go from the guy who was afraid to stand up to me into the man who I was intimidated to talk to. That's a journey that I will regret missing for the rest of my life."

"It all became so clear, about what I lost and how important the time I have with you is, because we just don't know when something could happen to end it. That's why I was a little...enthusiastic."

"Enthusiastic?" I laughed, "as I remember it, you basically attacked me."

"Well," she said with a sheepish grin, "I had good motivation."

"Enough," Tim said firmly, tilting her chin up with his hand. "There's nothing you or I can do about the past. It's time to let it go; for real this time...for both of us." He pulled her close and rested his cheek against her head.

"I've got you home and I'm never going to let you go again."

She looked intently into his eyes. "Is that a promise?"

Tim kissed her softly, then nuzzled her cheek. "I swear on my life. I'll do everything in my power to make you happy. You are the most important thing to me and I will be the man you deserve. I promise."

She snuggled against him contentedly, her head resting against his chest. "That goes double for me. I know exactly how close I came to losing you again. I'll do whatever I have to in order to make sure nothing ever comes between us again."

He couldn't help but smile at her touch and her words, his mind already working on a way to start making up to her what his jealousy had cost them.

~~~~~

"Tim, this is crazy. You don't need to take me out for our anniversary. It was a month ago. I love that you care so much, but this is not necessary. Besides," she said, gesturing at her clothes," I'm not dressed for a nice dinner. You could have at least let me go home and change."

Tim regarded her with a wide grin. "You look beautiful. Just indulge my insanity. Think how much better I'll feel if we can have a nice quiet dinner to remember for our first anniversary instead of that nightmare I caused."

"We caused," she said, emphasizing the first word. Remember what the doctor said, everything needs to be we from now on."

He leaned in and kissed her as the elevator doors closed. The man standing in front of them hit the button for his floor. He turned slightly toward the couple. "Where are you folks heading?"

"All the way up...ninety-six," Tim said proudly. "My wife and I are celebrating our anniversary with a nice dinner and a beautiful view of the city. It's our first time to visit the John Hancock building. I've heard it's great."

The man looked at his watch, then smiled, continuing to look forward as he spoke. "You'll love it. At this time of the day, the sun setting is incredible. By the time you eat, it'll be dark and it will be even better. Make sure to check out Lake Shore Drive and Navy Pier. They are amazing after nightfall." The stranger punched their floor, then gave them their privacy.

Tim looked at Donna and beamed, kissing her lightly on the lips. "That sounds perfect."

The doors opened at the ninety-fifth floor and the man stepped out. "You two have a wonderful night," he said, looking at the couple with a mischievous grin.

"It's nice to see two people so happy. Take care." He waved as the doors closed and Tim felt the elevator lurch as they went up again.

It stopped a few seconds later. The doors opened and they stepped out. Tim turned to the right and asked Donna to wait for a moment as he stepped into the men's room. Looking at himself in the mirror, he desperately tried to rein in his enthusiasm. He thought of the beautiful woman waiting outside.

"Worth every penny," he whispered.

He stepped out into the hallway again and took her hand. Looking her over quickly, Tim brushed his hand through her hair. She gave him a questioning look, and he responded with a shrug.

"You look so beautiful, I just can't believe it."

Donna leaned in and kissed him, brushing her fingers across his chin. "You are a handsome man and I am the lucky one, not you."

"Well, I can't argue with you there," he laughed. She elbowed him in the ribs as they walked into the bar at the end of the hallway.

"Surprise!" came the screaming voices, catching her completely off guard. Tim turned to see the shock on her face as the flashes from a half-dozen cameras went off simultaneously.

In front of them standing and clapping were Pete, Trisha, Cindy, her fiancée, Tim's parents, Caroline, and dozens of friends and coworkers. Across the windows on the other side of the bar was a banner that read, Happy First Anniversary + One Month.

Her smile was infectious as everyone rushed to congratulate them. Tim turned just as Pete caught him in a bear hug that threatened to end his ability to breathe.

"Donna," Trisha's voice interrupted them. "I think you might need this." She held out the dress Donna had worn on their anniversary.

Looking at the people around them, she laughed, saying, "Well, I told him I was underdressed." She left with Trisha and Cindy, heading for the ladies room to get changed.

Tim talked to their friends and family while they waited. Everyone was thrilled to be able to share the special evening. Pete grabbed a drink for Tim as he tried to thank everyone for changing their plans at the last minute to help make this day special for Donna.

In the middle of the madness, he felt a tug at his arm. He turned to see Donna there, cheeks flushed, with everyone standing next to him in open admiration. It was amazing what the ladies had accomplished in the ten minutes she had been gone. Her hair was done up beautifully, her make-up was immaculate, and she looked stunning in her dress. Tim was powerless to do anything but stare at how gorgeous she looked and how lucky he was to have her in his life despite everything that had happened to them both.

"I love you more than I thought was possible, Tim Sullivan," she said, wiping away a tear.

Beaming with pride Tim said, "Then you love me about half as much as I love you, Donna Sullivan." They embraced, drawing oohs and ahs from everyone.

He felt her jump as a loud female voice announced, "Everyone, let's hear it for the happy couple." As the applause started up again, she turned towards the voice to see her favorite local band in the far corner of the room. They immediately launched into Stevie Wonder's For Once In My Life and everyone began moving to the beat as they continued to wish them well.

Tim dragged her from the crowd to the dance area and enthusiastically spun her into his arms as several of their friends joined in. They danced a little more subdued than usual, content to hold each other and sway. They stayed on the floor for several songs, then walked back to a table next to the bar where they could talk.

"So do you like your party?" Tim asked with unconcealed pride.

Donna looked at him with such adoration, it made him blush. "It's perfect. How did you do this?"

"Well sweetheart, sometimes you're not quite as observant as you think you are. Is she John?" he asked, looking over her shoulder. She turned and saw the man from the elevator.

He nodded, "I guess I don't make as much of an impression as I thought."

Her eyes got wide. "Oh my gosh, John! I'm so sorry, I didn't recognize you." She got up and threw her arms around the man who had planned their wedding and made the day perfect; the only person Tim trusted with something as important as this night.

"That's Ok Donna," he said with a smile. "You were a little distracted. The hat and sunglasses probably didn't help, but we wanted to make sure not to spoil your surprise. I was telling the truth, it's great to see two people so happy." Tim saw a very attractive woman walk up behind John and touch him gently on the shoulder.

He turned and took her hand, then turned back to them. "Tim, Donna, this is my wife Jenny. Jenny, these are two of the nicest people I've met since I've been in the business."

She reached forward and took Donna's hand, "It's very nice to meet you. I've been hearing stories about how wonderful you two are together for an hour now. I can see that they weren't exaggerating." She stared purposefully at Tim. "It's nice to meet you too. You're a very good dancer. Do you think your wife would mind?"

"Not at all," Donna said with a smile. "He wears me out. I'd be grateful for the break."

John tried to suppress a laugh. "Good luck with this one." When Tim gave him a confused look, John patted his shoulder. "You've definitely met your match here. Jenny used to be a professional dancer. If you can even remotely keep up with her, you're a much better man than me."

Tim laughed, then let her lead the way to the dance floor. She was thin, graceful and supremely confident. He had no doubt that John was telling the truth, just from watching her stride purposefully toward the stage. When the next song started, he was shocked to find someone who made Trisha look like a beginner. Jenny was actually significantly better than his dance instructors.

After several songs, Tim thanked her and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. They walked back to the table where Pete and Trisha had joined Donna and John. Trisha was looking at him enviously.

"That was impressive," she said grudgingly.

He shrugged, "Don't look at me, I was just trying not to step on her toes." They all shared a laugh and Jenny thanked him.

"I'll have to give you two discounts on any future parties if you agree to keep dancing with her like that," John said. "I haven't seen my wife that contented on the dance floor in a long time. I have a bad feeling we'll be having the talk about me taking lessons again on the way home." He grimaced, but looked at his wife with a level of affection that was unmistakable.

"I'm sorry folks, but I need to get going," Jenny said suddenly. "We've got two kids at home and our sitter is probably pulling her hair out."

"I told you to bring your whole family," Tim scolded.

John shook his head. "We couldn't. Dani would have loved it, but the youngest is still too little. Damn express elevators."

Trisha nodded, "Speaking of that, I've been away from my daughter for far too long. I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. I don't want to leave your party, but we can't stay much longer."

Jenny said goodbye to them, then John escorted her to her car. Pete and Trisha retrieved their coats and came to say goodbye.

"Pete," Tim said curiously. "There's something I have been meaning to ask about the night we...talked to Jake." He glanced nervously at Trisha, not wanting to get his friend into trouble.

"It's okay Tim," she said sternly. "My husband doesn't keep secrets from me. He is still paying for that little stunt, but I forgive him. I know he's been wanting to kick that son-of-a bitch's ass for years." She leaned forward conspiratorially. "To be honest, I'm only pretending to be mad. When he gets home tonight, he's going to get lucky."

"I heard that, woman," Pete laughed loudly. "You better believe I'm going to hold you to it." They all laughed briefly, then Tim's expression turned serious again.

"Well, right before you nailed him in the ribs, you told him that he deserved it for messing with your little brother. Not that I mind the sentiment, but it was kind of odd. Plus you had an intense look on your face that I've never seen before."

Pete sighed, looking long and hard at Trisha. She gave him an almost imperceptible nod, and he turned back to Tim.

"I guess it's time you knew the truth," he said, his tone suddenly becoming melancholy. He spoke, holding Trisha's hand like it was a lifeline.

"When I was in younger, my little brother looked up to me like I was his hero. He was five years younger than me and a great kid. His grades were even better than mine. Mom kept both of us in line and never let us get involved with the crazy stuff that happened in our neighborhood."

"During my first few years in college, everything was great. Everyone told me I'd be making a mint in the pro football and Daryl was in high school, winning science fairs. He was never like me physically; he was a lot more like you." Tim noticed the past tense Pete was using, and began to get an uncomfortable feeling.

"My Senior year, everything changed. He was getting picked on by people who were jealous of how well he was doing in school. Some of them were even jealous of me, so they went out of their way to hassle him. Mom kept telling me she was worried, but I was so wrapped up in the attention I was getting that I didn't take her seriously."

Tim was startled to see a tear trickle down his cheek. He had never seen his friend so emotional. He felt Donna's hand squeeze his arm, and knew she was equally distressed.

"The morning of a nationally televised game against USC, I got a call from Mom. She was crying hysterically. When she finally calmed down enough for me to understand her, she told me that Daryl had been killed in a fight with a gang member who had been picking on him at school."

"He was my little brother and I wasn't there for him when he needed me. I swore I was going to play the game and dedicate it to him. It worked too. I had an amazing first half. The announcers said I was making a case for moving up to being a top ten pick. Unfortunately, I was so determined to take out my anger on the quarterback, I never saw the tight-end coming to chop block me. That's how I lost my knee. I tried to come back, but I was never the same on the field."

Pete looked at him sadly, "The truth is, part of me died that day. I don't know if I had it in me to keep playing. I finished my education and got the job he would have loved, if he had been able to grow up. I've been there ever since."