Secret Beach

I had returned home from work and was half watching one of the evening news programs as I sorted out my day. All of a sudden a familiar voice came over the TV.

It was Adrian Vasguez.

He was being interviewed by someone during the financial segment of the news program. He was talking about his new wonder drug, Novacim. He went on about the positive testing results they had received and how Novacim could change the lives for a lot of people.

I had heard all this before, but that was in a local meeting room. This program was on national news.

I watched him, charming in his dark suit, slick back hair, and brilliant white teeth. The guy was good. He fielded the questions from the host flawlessly with smooth pat answers. He was so convincing I fleetingly wondered if I should invest with the guy.

Rationality settled in and I quickly dismissed the idea. As I stood to turn the TV off I noticed Ali retreating from my office doorway. She'd been watching Vasguez on TV too.

Despite the slight lack of intimacy I was noticing we were both looking forward to the Hawaii trip. It was a little over a month away and we would discuss it at dinner and our shared excitement I believe helped us get closer in the weeks leading up to the vacation.

The Pinkus Labs sales conference occupied the first four days and then our plan was to vacation, back on Kauai, for the week after. Last year she and I had flown to Honolulu together and while I was at the Pinkus meetings she hung out at the wonderful pool.

I assumed that was what she would do this year.

"No," she said when I checked with her on this, "I've decided to fly over on Thursday. I'm busy at work and besides you'll be tied up in all your meetings." She told me.

Well this was odd. She normally didn't like being home alone. Furthermore she had her own business, with a lot of flexibility. Why would she choose to stay in drizzly Portland when she could be staying at a luxury Hawaiian hotel, on company expense?

I questioned her several times about her travel dates. But she was adamant that she would fly to Honolulu Thursday and then we would go to Kauai Friday afternoon. Okay, I thought, I'm not going to push it any more.

The first few days at the meeting were a little different for me. I was now in a management position so my role changed at a corporate wide meeting. I soon found some of the territory reps seeking me out, trying to impress me, just as I had done in previous years. This time the boss was me. It was flattering at first but quickly grew old.

I spent my time hanging out with Gail more than anyone. I enjoyed her company and she seemed to genuinely like me, not just kissing up because I was management. I also knew I had to be careful. If I was noticed spending too much time with a specific employee of the opposite sex, that would not be good. Especially a good looking one like Gail.

Oddly, I had trouble reaching Allison several times during the week. Our Pinkus meetings would end in the late afternoons and there was some downtime before our group dinners. Normally around five PM I would call Ali, this was eight PM Pacific Time. An hour I would expect Her to be available.

I called her both Tuesday and Wednesday night. No answer. Finally on Thursday I received a text message.

'at the airport, flight arrives at 1 PM, shuttle should get me to the hotel by 3, XOXO'

Okay, I thought, no real explanation but she seems eager to get here.

Ali and I had dinner Thursday night and we were both in good spirits being here in Hawaii. The meeting wrapped up Friday morning and by four o' clock we were on Kauai. Being on another island away from all the Pinkus people, remembering the highlights of our previous trip was like being wrapped in a magical, tropical cloak of sensory enjoyment.

We did all the fun things we had done last year. And yes, that included going to Secret Beach.

When Ali unveiled her high firm breasts at the beach I noticed they had a little color. I asked her about that.

"Oh, uh, yeah, I don't want to get my boobs burned." She said "I went to the tanning beds this time to prepare for this trip, I figured we'd be on this beach at some point." She told me with a smile.

Perfectly reasonable I thought.

The trip was great and the intimacy that I had sensed had been lacking seemed to be reinvigorated on Kauai. Some of the shadowy doubts I had pondered over the past few months seemed to evaporate. Relationships have ups and downs, I thought, that was normal.

With a slight sunburn and renewed optimism about our relationship we boarded the airplane back to reality at the weeks end.

I was so invigorated by the trip I rebooked for next year while sitting in the Honolulu airport waiting for the flight to Portland.. Happily I told Ali about the plan for next year.

It seemed our tropical weather followed us back to Oregon and we had a nice few days after we returned. The positive energy generated by the vacation seems to fuel our relationship. At least for a while.

Soon though the everyday pressures of real life crept in and perhaps we both focused on careers and business hoping our intimacy could maintain on cruise control.

I was traveling with my salespeople and Ali was working her normal irregular hours as an interior designer. These hours frequently included nights and occasionally there were weekend days that she was occupied.

Early on in our relationship I'd asked her in depth about her business and she'd explained. I guess I just wasn't all that interested. It was more important to me that she was happy with her profession. Perhaps that's why I didn't question her about all these increased irregular hours.

It must have been two or three months after our trip to Kauai when I saw the first piece of puzzling mail.

I got home in the early evening and Ali wasn't home yet. I grabbed the mail and sorted the junk from the bills. The second to the last letter made me pause. It was addressed to:

'Allison St Clair

Novacim'

Huh!? I thought. Why would she be getting a letter with Novacim in the address? I tilted the envelope up to the light, but could see nothing. It didn't quite look like a blanket marketing piece, a bit too directed.

An hour later Allison breezed in. I had the envelope face up in front of me on the kitchen island. I watched her.

"Hi Michael," she began normally, "how was your day... "

She saw the envelope. It froze her. She quickly grabbed the letter.

"What's that all about?" I asked her neutrally nodding toward the mail, more curious than anything else.

"What?" She asked stalling.

"The letter about Novacim." I replied, my voice still even.

"Oh," she began, slow to reply, "it's probably just some marketing blast they send out. They probably got my address from the seminar we went to."

Okay, logical I guess. I just did not recall providing any of our contact information during the meeting we attended.

"So have you seen Adrian lately?" I asked. We really hadn't spoken of him since the so-called party.

"Adrian?" she began, not quite meeting my eyes, " just when I'm working on his project. He's been gone a lot."

I continued to hear little bits about the new wonder drug Vasguez was pushing. I knew that Novacim was preparing for an IPO, and from what I had also heard they had not yet been approved by the FDA. Still the promise of the drug seemed to be attracting more investors.

"Okay, are you sure there's nothing we should be discussing?" I asked, watching her.

"Michael, there's nothing to talk about," she exclaimed, acting distracted looking at the rest of the mail.

I just nodded, for the moment believing her, but I felt my antenna inch up a little higher.

Normal life continued for both of us. I felt like I was performing well in my management role and I was getting positive feedback from my boss and Don Clemons. Ali was busy and seemed upbeat.

And then there was Gail. I was so proud of her, she was performing very well. In fact she was the number two salesperson in my region and she'd been on the job for a little more than a year. My one concern was that if she wanted to be promoted she'd likely have to move. I wanted what was best for her, but selfishly, I didn't want to lose her.

All this positivity continued until another night I was home first and once again it was the mail. This time it was an official looking 9x12 envelope with what felt like multiple pages in it, addressed to:

'Allison St Clair

Novacim Corporate Secretary'

and then our address.

What in the world was going on!? What was she keeping from me? I was alarmed and a little worried also. I wondered what she had gotten herself mixed up in?

I decided to hide the envelope and ask a few questions.

Eventually Ali got home and all seemed normal. I felt bad, but I decided to spring the trap.

"I saw another article about Adrian and Novacim today," I said to Ali. A lie.

"Oh really?" Was all she said.

"It sounds like the company is doing quite well, though from what I understand they haven't been approved by the FDA yet." I added.

"No, but it's supposed to happen soon." She answered.

At this point I just stared at her, not speaking.

"I mean, that's what I may have heard Adrian say," she quickly added.

"So have you gotten involved in the Novacim business?" I asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Michael, what do you mean by that," she said, sounding defensive.

"Well," I began, "it sounds like you have some knowledge of Adrian's business. Maybe overhearing things as you are working on his home. That type of thing." Once again I said this with innocence in my voice.

I was trying to give her an out so she doesn't just outright lie to me.

It didn't work.

"Michael," she mustered up a tone of exasperation, "when I am at Adrian's I am focusing on my design fulfilling my clients needs. I am not prying into whatever personal business they are involved with."

A nodded my head silently. I thought of the YouTube videos I'd seen of some casual fisherman standing on the edge of a body of water and suddenly the fishing rod bends nearly in half and all of a sudden the fisherman realizes he'd caught some huge creature.

That's how I felt. She'd fallen into the trap I'd sprung and I knew she was likely lying to me.

I tossed the large envelope addressed to her on the counter.

"Then what's this?" I asked.

I watched Ali's expression go from curious to alarmed. Wordlessly she looked up at me and then back to the envelope. Finally she took a deep breath.

"Michael, please let me explain," she stared at me looking for some sign.

I stared back blankly.

"I've spent a lot of time with Adrian working on his project," she began. "He is very excited about Novacim. He tells me that Dr Gupta is a genius. There is some type of biological code that Dr Gupta has cracked. It's way too complex for me to understand. It's going to change the lives of millions of people."

She looked at me still searching for some type of affirmation. My expression was blank.

"And the medical advantage," she continued, "is only part of the point. There is a lot of money to be made. A lot! Michael, based on the last round of valuations Adrian is worth nearly fifty million dollars! And now my valuation is over a million!"

"WHAT?" I interrupted her. "You didn't invest in this did you?"

"Yes I did!" She answered defiantly, "it was mostly my money from my Mom's estate. I didn't use hardly any of your money, I took a small amount of my savings and the inheritance. My Mom left it for me and I can do with it what I want!"

This started a whole new level of argument. Her hanging on to the idea that the money was left to her and it was her's to decide what to do with. My point was as a married couple we should discuss major decisions like this. At one point I implied that she had not been honest with me. She argued that she'd never lied about anything. The entire tenor of the argument ratcheted up into uncharted territory.

"Just because you are slow and steady doesn't mean that everyone should live their life that way." She said to me, "Adrian quit his job at Pinkus to do something bigger, better, more exciting. And he's doing it. When Novacim goes public Adrian will be worth a fortune. And I'll be a multi-millionaire too!" She told me, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at me.

I stared at her. Now we definitely were in uncharted water. The depth of the argument was at a totally different level. By my interpretation she attacked me personally. Disparaging my life philosophy. The calmness I'd tried to maintain boiled over.

"THEN WHY THE FUCK DON'T YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT WITH ADRIAN!"

It was as if I'd slapped her. The expression on her face was shock. She stared at me as if trying to interpret my words, but there was only one interpretation.

Suddenly, angrily, she stood up, grabbed her car keys, her phone and a few more things and marched toward the door.

In our married lives whenever there had been any type of minor argument it was normally me who'd extend the olive branch to reconcile. I think she was waiting for me to make some type of reconciliation move.

I didn't.

I heard her accelerate out of the driveway. She took no suitcase or much of anything so I expected her back later. I did notice she'd taken the envelope.

I was wound up and several times I moved to call her, but stopped. It was she that owed me the apology this time. She called me slow and steady. That translated to boring. And then I thought of Vasguez. Smooth, persuasive, a risk taker. Then my mind started traveling down a different road in regards to Vasguez. And Ali.

A sleek handsome wealthy guy, and a sexy woman who seemed impressed with those types of things. It made me wonder. I recalled her topless on the beach on Kauai when we bumped into Vasguez. I remembered him checking her out. Who could blame him? And then more recently at the so called party, when it was just the two of them. Her in the skimpy bikini and he in his tight swimwear.

It was one thing to betray me by investing money behind my back. It was most definitely a completely different level if anything sexual was going on. I planned on asking her about that when she returned tonight.

The problem was, she never returned.

I woke the next morning after a troubled sleep. I checked my phone for messages and checked the driveway for her BMW. Nothing.

Despite all this acrimony, I knew I had a job to do and I had people at Pinkus counting on me. Good old Michael I thought, steady and dependable.

Throughout the day I debated calling Ali but each time I got close my resolve set in. She betrayed me by not disclosing how close she was to Vasguez. She betrayed me by investing in his business without talking to me first. And as my imagination churned it was possible she betrayed our marital vows intimately with Vasguez.

I could get over some of the deceit but if it had gone sexual, that was a game changer. A wave of sadness passed through and I was on the verge of tears. Just then my phone vibrated. I tamped down my emotion and reached for my phone hopefully.

It was Gail.

She had some fairly standard questions, the type of things we would talk normally about. A few minutes into the conversation she paused.

"Michael," she began, "are you okay?" She asked.

"Yes," I replied surprised.

"Well you sound different," she told me, "are you sure everything's all right?" She asked again.

I took a breath.

"Just a few challenges at home. Nothing big." I said, trying to put an upbeat tone in my voice.

"Let me know if I can help," she replied, her voice sounding skeptical, not quite buying my nonchalance.

Later that day, though I tried relatively successfully to bury myself in work, another thought stuck in my brain. What was it that was printed on that envelope? Something about being a corporate secretary for Novacim. I wondered what that meant. I googled 'corporate secretary'.

I read through several definitions. It sounded like there could be a few different responsibilities, and it also sounded like she could actually be a corporate officer, depending on the way the corporation was set up.

Driving home I tried to stay calm and organize my thoughts and prepare to speak to Ali with a rational information gathering approach. As long as it had not become a sexual relationship I believed we could work through our issues.

Unfortunately, once again, Ali was not home, but there were signs she'd been here. I noticed things from the bathroom were missing and her closets looked less crowded.

Okay, the stakes had been raised. I decided to call her. Yes, I was buckling under, I knew that. But I had to see what was going on with my marriage.

My phone call went to voicemail. Just the sound of her voice was bittersweet. I texted her.

'Allison please contact me, we have a lot to talk about'.

I tried to be patient, but despite checking my phone every ten minutes or so, I heard nothing from Ali. I was really starting to worry. My mind slipped down some dark tunnels imagining Allison and Vasguez in various sexual positions. Finally, I told myself, this was not healthy. It was another restless night.

I was up early, still no contact from Ali. I texted her again. It was not my most productive day at work but I did manage to forget about my personal problems for periods throughout the day.

By five thirty I still had no contact from Allison. I sat in my car preparing to go home and I thought about where she could be. With her mother passing she had no close relatives anywhere near. Though she had a broad group of friends I couldn't think of a 'best friend' that she would be staying with.

And then I had another thought. Could that be possible? At the moment it seemed like a long shot, but the more I thought about it, the more I had to know. I exited the parking lot and headed west. Towards Vasquez's house in Sylvania.

I navigated the semi-rural roads until I saw the brick pillars on either side of the long driveway. I slowed and began to turn in and I then saw the large black gate closed. I got out of my car and through the bars of the gate I saw her red BMW.

Suddenly I was furious. I tried to shove open the gate but it was solidly in place. I called her phone. Nothing. I stood there powerless to do anything. I stared at the sprawling house, no activity visible. For the briefest of moments I considered ramming the gate with my car, but then I realized I'd probably be arrested and wreck my car in the process.

Defeated, I drove home.

Though her vehicle being there was certainly not a good sign, it was possible, just possible she was at his place professionally. With a flicker of optimism I hoped that was the case.

Then I had a thought. If her car was there in the morning I would know she spent the night. Unfortunately I had my weekly executive meeting at seven AM tomorrow morning. For a moment I shelved that plan, and then suddenly a thought. I called Gail.

"Hey," I said, trying to sound upbeat, "are you doing your coast run tomorrow?" I asked her.

When I ran the territory I'd set my schedule up so my clients knew what day I was going to be in to see them. Thursdays were always my coast day.

"Yes" she replied, "what's up?"

"I need a favor." I said, "A big favor. It's personal and I need to depend on you to keep it between you and I."

"Michael?" She sounded a little alarmed, "what's going on?"

I explained. I briefly told her about Vasguez. I told her about the investment Ali had made in Novacim without my knowledge. And then I told her about our big fight and seeing her car at his place.

"So, what I'd like you to do is on your way to the coast, take a quick detour, drive by his driveway and just see if her car is still there. Get a picture if possible."