Secret Beach

After sending the e-mail I looked at my to-do list. Next up, call the hotel on Kauai.

The woman I spoke to was quite nice and listened as I briefly explained the situation leaving out my marital problems.

"Sir," she began, "I am just so terribly sorry, but the 30 day window for cancellation and reimbursement has long passed. But," she began, "as a Marriott member I can upgrade you to an ocean view room. no charge."

I thanked her, still not sure what I was going to do. Go to Kauai by myself!? I thought about it for a while. Finally I came to a conclusion. I had the vacation time coming. The hotel (all $2780 worth) was prepaid, and I couldn't get my money back. I felt like I needed the break. I decided to take the vacation week on my own.

In the two weeks before the sales conference I was busy. I continued to burn the midnight oil at work, often not getting home until long after the dinner hour. On the weekends I continued my fitness kick and worked around the house. I was once told you need to practice any speech ten times minimum before presenting. I spent quite some time reviewing my presentation in front of my full length mirror.

One other thing I continued was my monitoring of Novacim. It sounded like the FDA ruling and the IPO were getting closer. Every time I saw Vasguez's smiling face on TV I became angry and slightly nauseous.

Finally it was the day of the flight. I saw and acknowledged several other Pinkus employees at the airport including Gail. Just as I was walking to the small knot of fellow employees my phone rang.

"Michael," it was Leland Wells, "I have some positive news."

I had to plug my non phone ear with my palm to hear him above all the noise and announcements at the airport. I asked him to repeat what he'd just said.

"Positive news my boy." Leland began, "I've gotten that bitch, your wife's attorney, to revoke her demand for interest in your house. You will keep your retirement, give Allison 60% of the savings and checking accounts. No alimony."

"Leland that's great," I told him, "but it sounds too good. What's the catch?"

"It appears to me like they believe the investment in that start up company is going to be worth a lot of money. You will have to renounce any interest in that."

For a moment I thought. Should I pursue all that money they were going to make on Novacim? Quickly, I realized I didn't want anything to do with Novacim or Vasguez.

"Do it." I told Leland, and suddenly I felt like a partial burden had been eased off my shoulders.

On the flight I had this mental image of clouds parting and suddenly sunlight was creeping out from behind the darkness. I had my house, I had a job I loved and I was good at, I was still young, and I was in the best shape of my adult life. Buoyed by these thoughts my mood brightened in anticipation of the sales conference.

The first night was a welcome reception at the hotel in one of the ballrooms. I found my sales team tended to hang out together often around me. As I mingled I had several conversations with other managers congratulating me on my success. One person that did not approach or compliment was Angela Ridley. I saw her across the room at one point. It looked like she had gotten heavier.

I knew the following three days were going to be busy and I commented to my team to have a good time but make sure to be at the first meeting in the morning early.

The meetings on Wednesday went well, as a manager, I had different responsibilities than in my previous role. I felt like it was important to encourage my team to be visible and participate while maintaining a professional demeanor.

At one point we were discussing one of our new products that had a less than successful launch. We weren't meeting projections on it. It just so happened that my team, led by Gail, was actually 10% over quota on this particular product.

There was a question from the audience. It was Ms Negative, Angela Ridley.

"How are we supposed to sell this stuff when there is no demand?"

The audience became silent, it was not normal protocol to question the strategic path our management had directed us on.

Across the room, all of a sudden Don Clemons stood up and faced vaguely in Angela's direction.

"Perhaps Michael Ballantine can speak for a minute about the success they have had in that region?" Clemons said.

For a moment I was a bit stunned, several people turned toward me expectantly. As I sat there I heard a comment from the general area in which Angela was sitting.

"Lucky!" The voice said. It was female and sounded like Ridley.

That pissed me off. I stood and faced the room.

"Yes, whoever said lucky is right," I began, "I'm lucky to work with a dedicated group of professional territory sales people that believe in the direction our management has asked us to take. Oh, and one other thing about luck that my old football coach taught me, the harder you work, the luckier you get."

And with that I sat down.

There were just a few claps at first but soon the majority of the people in the ballroom were clapping. Some stood. I was proud and embarrassed all rolled into one. Throughout the rest of the day my good mood continued based on all the positive comments I was receiving.

That night there was a luau from six to nine, it was out front of the hotel on the beach, the entire area was cordoned off for Pinkus Labs. A group of guys were in the bar at 5:30 having a drink before the luau. I got recruited into the group. I sipped a light beer and just floated along partially listening to the conversation, finally able to take a deep breath.

Just as we were leaving to head out to the luau I happened to glance at the TV behind the bar. It was a familiar face talking on the screen, the bar was so loud I couldn't understand what was being said. I tried to stop briefly to hear something from the television, but I was swept forward with the momentum of our group. Fairly quickly I was out on the sand heading toward the bright lights of the luau.

I flashed back to the image of Gupta I'd seen in the bar. I wondered why he had been on TV? Fairly quickly all the activities centered around the luau took my mind away from the image of Dr Viijay Gupta being interviewed on television.

If you've never been to a luau they are very fun, but, without question the emphasis is on quantity of food and drink. Quality was fine but the goal was to feed a lot of people. One other aspect were the drinks. They had beer, and some wine, but the majority of drinks were the house specialty, the Mai Tai.

Mai Tai's taste good and you don't normally comprehend the amount of rum in each glass. After a long day of meetings and the warm weather the Mai Tai's go down quite easily.

I knew this from experience and nursed a local Hawaiian beer for most of the evening. Like a mother hen, I took a quick inventory of my team. One by one I noted each member. Everyone seemed to be okay, and then I saw Gail. We had eaten dinner near one another and I noticed her enjoying the Mai Tai's.

I now observed her looking a little unsteady with a group of guys near her. At a meeting like this there can be a lot of dynamics. Including sexual. For the guy, it's a badge of honor to get a conquest. For the girl, it's the opposite, a reputation that could kill your career.

I know, it's not fair, but that's the way it was viewed.

I decided I needed to rescue Gail.

I wandered over and upon approach I saw her laughing and she looked uncharacteristically relaxed, eyes slightly glassy from the drinks. I noticed the small swarm of predatory males in close, tightly near her.

I politely but firmly injected myself within the group.

"Gail," I began, " do you have a moment? I have a couple of things to review with you." I told her.

She readily agreed and we walked away with some minor protests from the group of males left behind. I had just dashed several of their ideas of sexual conquest.

We walked down the beach past the hotel.

"Are you having a good time?" I asked her.

She said yes, slightly slurring her words, but she seemed to be trying to compose herself.

I then told her at these events you need to be careful. Lot's of eyes were on everyone and even at a fun event like the luau, where there was lot's of drinking, you have to be aware that this still is a business function, and we need to be professional.

We walked along the surf quietly for a few minutes after that discussion.

Finally she said something.

"Did I embarrass myself tonight?" She asked, "did I embarrass you?"

I told her no, but we all needed to be careful in this kind of environment.

Eventually we walked back to the hotel. It seemed natural to walk her to her room.

"Another big day tomorrow." I told her as she fumbled for her room key.

"Thank you Michael," Gail said to me, and then looked me in the eye, leaned toward me for a brief but full kiss on the cheek.

I was surprised by the kiss I then awkwardly disengaged, wished her goodnight, and left for my own room. Her natural attractiveness and the kiss had me aroused and confused. She was my employee. I had hired her. These thoughts distracted me as I entered my room and prepared for bed.

I didn't sleep well that night. Mostly I was nervous about my presentation scheduled for Thursday afternoon. But the encounter with Gail and the kiss at her door unsettled me. On one hand I was very attracted to her and the kiss felt nice. On the other hand, she was my employee, and Pinkus had a non fraternization policy. Even between consenting parties. Furthermore I wondered if I was still legally married.

With that thought I emailed Leland Wells. I was surprised when I received a reply back from him immediately. Quickly I realized that five-twenty-seven AM Hawaiian time was nearly eight-thirty on the west coast. Of course he was in the office.

My email had asked him if the divorce had gone through. I got a quick reply.

'My boy, as of 4:34 PM last Tuesday you are officially a non married man. The papers have been filed with the court.'

Okay, that settled that. Emotionally the news just left me feeling relieved and a bit hollow. Nonetheless, I had other things to concern myself with. Foremost my presentation. Careers can be affected by individual moments. I wanted to make sure I was prepared. The other thought that drifted through my mind causing a slight lack of focus was Gail.

At the morning meeting my group once again seemed to congregate around me. I noticed Gail as she entered the room. She looked fine, no signs of the previous night's many Mai Tai's. As she approached she walked toward me.

"Sorry about last night," she quietly said to me.

I told her she had nothing to be sorry about, and we left it like that.

My presentation went well and several members of management, including Don Clemons, congratulated me. I even received positive words from Helen Fletcher.

In a good mood I told my group Thursday night was an open evening but I had a dinner reservation at Duke's for six-thirty, it was optional but I invited my entire team.

It turned out to be a nice relaxed evening and everyone was there except Gail. I was a little disappointed by her absence but I understood. I just hoped there would be no awkwardness between us.

The following day were closing thoughts from Helen Fletcher and then the award ceremony presented by the CEO, Arthur Goodfellow. It was interesting to think that only two years ago I had, to my surprise, won the Territory Salesman of the Year award. I was pleased with the trajectory of my career path.

There were several other awards before the territory award. I was proud and happy to see that Gail had won the 'Rookie of the Year' award. I nominated her for it and she deserved the award. As the meeting ended I made sure I congratulated her. She still acted a little uncomfortable around me but she seemed happy to have won the award.

Suddenly, I realized the meeting was over and I was on vacation. A different vacation for sure, I was by myself, but I vowed to enjoy it. I told myself thoughts of Allison, Vasguez, Novacim, or anything related to all that I would compartmentalize. I was going to take a week, relax, and ignore any of those negative distractions.

I arrived on the beautiful island of Kauai wearing shorts, tee shirt, sunglasses and sandals. The room at the Koloa Landing was as nice as they had claimed with a wonderful balcony and a beautiful view.

For the rest of the day I did my run exploring new geography and then collapsed on a lounge chair by the world class pool with a Coors Light. The wonderful smell and feel of Hawaii was incomparable, I sighed and pretty soon the fatigue of the entire week caught up with me. I was out.

There is something about an afternoon nap in the sun, it was just so pleasant. Later, I decided to eat at the poolside cafe and had a few more beers. I watched the sunset from my balcony and happily drifted off to sleep.

The next day I got up and decided to run the opposite way along the beach towards Poipu. The first part of the run is on a paved road with a beautiful view of the ocean. The path then enters the grounds of the Sheraton and continues along the beach all the way to Poipu.

By the time I began the run back it was mid morning and the Hawaiian sun was beating down. I stopped to get a drink of water at the Sheraton. Just as I was leaving the Sheraton I heard someone call my name. I turned, surprised, and saw Gail sitting on a lounge chair at the pool waving to me.

Happily I ran over to her spot.

"Hi!" I greeted her, my smile was wide and genuine. "Are you staying here?" I asked.

She told me she was. She said she had always wanted to go to Kauai and she remembered me talking about my previous trips and how nice it was. We chatted a little about what a coincidence it was seeing each other and what a great beach the Sheraton had.

She then asked me a logical question.

"Where are you and your wife staying?" She asked.

I paused.

"I'm at the Koloa Landing just up the road," I told her. I took a deep breath and continued, "and my wife is not with me. In fact as of last Tuesday officially she is my ex-wife."

The conversation kind of ground to a halt at that. Finally I asked her what her plans were for the rest of the day. She said she was on vacation and wide open.

"I was going to drive out to Waimea Canyon, if you've not seen it it's definitely worth seeing. It's breathtaking," I told her.

We made plans and I picked her up later that day. We had a wonderful time enjoying the unbelievable sights way out on the west end of the island.

On the way back we talked about our specific plans for our individual vacations. It appeared we were both in the same mindset. Just enjoy the break from real life, sit in the sun and experience Hawaii.

She said she was just planning on dinner at Lava's at the Sheraton and watching the sun set.

"That sounds nice," I replied. "Can I join you?" I asked.

She paused her eyes studying me.

"Gail, if that would make you uncomfortable, I totally understand," I said to her

"No," she said, "tonight sounds fine. Come over about seven o'clock, that will give me time to shower and get ready."

When I saw Gail that evening she looked stunning. She was in a light summery dress. She looked great with just a bit of color on her face from the tropical sun.

We ate, had a few drinks and talked about 50-50, Pinkus Labs stuff and just regular talk about Hawaii and our lives. Nothing at this point yet about my marriage. I felt I owed Gail at least a cursory explanation, I just couldn't bring myself to begin that conversation.

After dinner we walked along the ocean's edge, carrying our sandals. The warm Hawaiian ocean felt so nice. It was just so comfortable being with her I fought the urge to hold her hand or even put my arm around her. I was beginning to like her on a whole new level.

We walked back to the Sheraton in the dark and it felt like the evening was at its end. I was enjoying her company so much I really didn't want it to end. I asked her what she was doing tomorrow.

"Soak up the sun, swim in the ocean, check out the Kauai travel book, and read my trashy novel," she told me.

I laughed and told her maybe I'd see her on my run again. And though a kiss or a hug, or some sign of physical contact seemed appropriate based on the closeness of our day together, I simply turned and waved goodbye.

The following morning I did the same route as the previous day, past the Sheraton to Poipu Beach and back. On the way back, I stopped at the Sheraton and sure enough, there was Gail. And boy did she look good.

Yesterday I saw her in a normal one piece black bathing suit and she looked fine. Today was different, she was wearing a red bikini. And there was not a lot of fabric involved in it.

I had described Gail as lean and athletic. She had long muscular legs with a tight ass. Not the same feminine curves of Allison. (I hate to compare but they were different). Her breasts were large, certainly larger than Allison's. I think in a work environment she wore clothes that de-emphasized her bustline.

But in this small bikini, everything was front and center, her bust was most certainly emphasized!

As I walked up to her chair and sat down beside her it was with great willpower that I maintained eye contact with her. The two shapely globes, just partially clad, pulled my eyes downward. At one point she caught me peeking and a small smile played across her face.

I told her I was going to go to Shipwreck beach in front of the Hyatt and hike the sandstone cliffs.

"Would you like to go?" I asked.

She looked at me and replied.

"Michael, you don't have to be my tour guide, this is your vacation. I can do things on my own." She stated.

"Okay," I said, confused by her comment. "But I really want to hang out with you," I said without a lot of forethought. I just blurted out what I was really thinking.

She paused and studied me, she looked at me like she wanted to understand more, she then sighed and spoke.

"I guess I want to hang out with you too," she said while now avoiding eye contact with me, "it's just, just, oh, never mind. How about I meet you at your place in an hour?" She told me.

We drove to the public access at the Hyatt on Shipwreck beach. I was dressed in a swimsuit, flip flops, sunglasses and a light backpack, standard attire for vacation in Hawaii, the less clothing the better.

Gail followed my lead, to my delight. Same swimsuit, not a thong, but I got a good view of much of her ass. She did have on a light coverup, kind of like a sheer skirt. Several times I fell back allowing her to lead so I could view her body while she was not observing me. She had to know it.

We walked the cliffs, the sun beating down on us, but kept cool by the trade winds. At one point I asked her to apply sunscreen to my back and then reciprocated by doing the same to her. In my mind it was a small thing but it was still a new level of intimacy between Gail and I.

It was late afternoon by the time I dropped her off back at the Sheraton. During the day any remaining awkwardness between us had vanished. Part way through the vacation with work thoughts compartmentalized I wasn't thinking of her as an employee. At all.

"I found a place in my Kauai book for dinner,would you like to join me?" Gail asked.

"Where, I mean of course," I stuttered and smiled at the fact that the questioning of our spending time together seemed to have ended.

We walked to Keoki's that night. It is a fun restaurant and bar in Koloa. We ordered drinks, Gail a Mai Tai and me a local beer. Keoki's had a festive atmosphere and Gail was into her second Mai Tai before dinner came. We were chatting away about various subjects when Gail casually brought up a particular subject.