Secret Beach

"Hey, I heard something about Novacim and that Adrian guy today," Gail casually mentioned.

My reaction startled her.

"Gail," I interrupted, "please, I vowed I would not think of or talk about that particular subject while I was on this trip."

She paused, saying nothing. Taken aback.

"It's just that," I said to her seriously,"the wounds are still too fresh."

After a minute she replied.

"Obviously I knew there was a level of conflict," she said, "I mean I was there when we saw them alone together, with her in that bikini. And then when you asked me to spy on her car. I'm smart enough to figure something was up."

I nodded silently. I then thought, I really needed to tell someone, I was keeping things bottled up inside. That couldn't possibly be healthy.

So despite a few reservations I then began to tell her the whole story. I started with that Pinkus Sales Conference two years ago and then our encounter with Vasguez on Secret Beach.

"I read about that beach in my Kauai book, it looked sort of interesting." Gail commented. "Sorry, go ahead." She urged me on.

At that point our bill came and I paused the story to pay our waitress.

We walked back, the sky still colored by the recent sunset, the air warm and pleasant. Me continuing my tale of woe.

At one point I kind of choked up explaining how my marriage had collapsed over greed more than lust. Gail, who had been walking close to me the entire way back, took my hand. It was such a small gesture, but so intimate at the same time.

We continued walking along the beach past the Sheraton, still holding hands. By this time the sky was dark and there were patches along the beach where it was darker, no ocean front lights. We stopped in one of these unlit areas and as we turned I held her and we kissed. It was unbelievable. Alone with this fantastic woman on this beautiful beach.

Suddenly we were interrupted by a wave splashing us and we turned and walked back. This time my arm was around her holding her close to me.

We chatted and we talked about Kauai and places we still wanted to see.

"Would you really like to go to Secret Beach?" I asked, "it's a little tricky to find." I told her.

She looked at me with a half smile, as if I had just come right out and asked her to show me her boobs.

"We'll see," she said.

By this time we were at her hotel, arm in arm we walked to her room and as she fumbled with her key I kissed the back of her neck. Both of us stumbled into her room, reaching for each other as we'd been a few minutes ago on the beach.

After several minutes of kissing my hand clasped the healthy globe of her breast. I then slipped my hand underneath her shirt to feel her bare, kneading the breast and teasing her nipple. There was no way she wasn't aware of my erection.

We staggered to the bed and I once again turned to her. This time though Gail held up both hands in a 'stop' gesture.

"Michael," she breathed, "stop, I think we're going a little too fast. I like you but...".

"Okay, I get it," I said, torn by my physical need and practical logic, "I like you too and you look so good." I glanced at her partially exposed breast. "I couldn't help myself."

"Let's just slow things down, there are a lot of complications," she said, arranging her clothes and standing.

"Okay, you're probably right" I said, "I'll see you tomorrow," I told her and gave her a last kiss goodnight.

Walking back to my hotel I felt good. Happy about my growing relationship with Gail. I knew there were some work related things we needed to figure out, but I felt confident we could overcome anything. I also felt a relief that I had finally unburdened myself about my failed marriage. With pleasant thoughts I drifted off to sleep.

The following day I did my customary run at the normal time, stopping at the Sheraton on the way back. I was really looking forward to seeing Gail. There was so much I wanted to say to her and I was also hopeful of a trip to Secret Beach with her.

I scanned the lounge chairs around the pool. No Gail. Huh, I thought. I waited another twenty minutes and every time a new person entered the pool area I was hopeful it would be Gail. I sent her a text.

I decided to walk back to my place, shower and get ready for the day. Right before my shower I texted her again.

'Call me when you're up and about'

I emerged from the shower, threw on a pair of shorts and checked my phone.

No communication whatsoever. I was disappointed and started to get concerned. I called her. Straight to voicemail. I left a message on her voice mail.

'Call me'.

I decided to hang out at the pool at the Koloa Landing. I tried to read my kindle, but every few minutes I'd check my phone. The same consistent non-communicative result, nothing.

After lunch I walked back to the Sheraton. I scanned the grounds again, and she wasn't there. I walked into the hotel lobby and finally found the house phone. I asked for Gail Beverly and they sent me through. The room phone just rang and rang. I wracked my brain trying to remember what room she was in. But unfortunately last night I was not paying much attention to where her room was.

By dinner time there was nothing and I was concerned. Had I pushed too hard last night? Was it possible I not only ruined a potential romance and compromised my relationship with an employee? Could my actions be construed as sexual harassment? Is it possible I could lose my job?

That night was not the relaxed languid Hawaiian evening I'd had previously, I was stressed out. And beyond any of the scenarios conjured up in my mind the most important thing I thought was, I hope she's okay.

Now readers, I need to ask you a favor. I'm going to skip ahead several days, but I promise the activity of those skipped days will be filled in.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Suddenly the pleasant cocoon of vacation time was ending. I was on the flight home. I knew I had a lot to do once I got back. Monday morning was going to come quickly. I needed to prepare for the budget meeting, review sales, answer a mountain of emails and get with personnel on hiring. The hiring addition I hadn't planned on.

I had enjoyed much of the vacation in a lot of ways but somehow I was comforted by the stress of the real world. In fact, some of my actions on vacation have added to my stress. But I knew what I needed to do and I was going to power through my objectives like I normally would.

The first thing I did Monday morning was review my voice mails. My management and my direct reports all knew I was gone last week but I still had quite a few messages.

I quickly listened, made notes and prioritized the different voicemails. All of a sudden, and it confused me for a minute, there was a message from Allison. I hadn't talked to her in months, but the familiarity of her voice startled me.

'Hi Michael, um, I was just for some reason thinking about you'

Then there was a pause, it was long enough that I thought she'd hung up.

'Anyway, if you get a chance, i'd like to talk to you'.

Huh. That was odd. The last time I had actually seen her I was told only to communicate with her through her lawyer. The tone of her voice seemed off. Shy, insecure, vulnerable. I couldn't help it, despite everything I was still quite attracted to her. Huh, I'd have to think about that. I had made a promise to address all that. Mentally I set that message aside and powered on.

I met with HR and we started the hiring process again. Karl, my boss, asked me out for lunch and though I had planned to work straight through, I changed my plan and accepted.

At lunch we spoke about a lot of things catching up since the meeting, and then out of the blue he brought up a particular subject.

"So what do you think about what's going on with Novacim?" He asked.

I stared at him blankly, without speaking. I had intentionally tuned out last week in Hawaii.

"Maybe you hadn't heard," Karl continued interpreting my expression, "Novacim is not doing well in clinical research. Gupta and that crowd are scrambling." He told me. "In fact some of their investors are talking about a criminal action."

Several emotions struck me as I absorbed Karl's words. Curiosity for sure, I'd made a hobby of following that company. But more than all the other feelings there was one of joy. I was happy to see Vasguez in trouble after all that arrogant talk of money and lifestyle.

Karl, a scientist by training, went on to explain how a drug gets approved by the FDA. There are five steps. Step 1 Discovery and Development, step 2 Preclinical Research, step 3, Clinical Research, step 4, FDA Drug Review and step 5 FDA Post-Market Drug Safety Monitoring.

The clinical trial phase can take years to complete. However, once research has shown that the drug is safe and useful, the FDA typically reviews and either approves or denies an application for a new drug within 6 months.

According to Karl, Novacim was giving inconsistent results in clinical trials. This was not good news for the product. Furthermore they had raised a great deal of money with assurances that the clinical studies had been successful.

"From what I've heard the clinical testing was done without great substantiation years ago in India." Karl told me, "I think Adrian and Dr Gupta could be in deep trouble. They claimed that the trials had been successful and substantiated."

"Really?," I asked, "what about all the money they raised?"

"I'm not exactly sure," Karl answered, "but I'm hearing the phrase 'investment fraud' being whispered around this whole Novacim situation."

Investment fraud? That, I believe, is a crime. I couldn't help but feel a sense of gladness at the misfortune of Vasguez. And then for a moment I thought about Ali and her inheritance. Even after all we'd been through I felt bad for her,

I powered through my work the rest of the day into the early evening. By seven o'clock, I was exhausted. The time zone change was wearing me out.

Tuesday was a repeat of Monday scrambling to catch up and prepare for the Thursday budget meeting. HR said that I'd have a list of candidates to interview by Friday.

That night my system was finally starting to regulate to Pacific Time. I was trying to get my sleep pattern back to normal. As I was preparing for bed my phone vibrated, I was hoping, but no, it was Allison's number. I debated letting it go but picked up. She still had a thread of influence over me.

"Allison?" I hesitantly answered.

"Hi," she said. Once again that timid vulnerable expression in her voice.

"What's going on?" I asked her.

There was a pause and then I heard what sounded like soft weeping.

"Michael, I really screwed things up," she told me, emotion in her voice. "I screwed up my life, my career, my future, but most of all our marriage."

We discussed this and I have to say she still had a hold on me. My natural instinct was to protect her, tell her everything was going to be okay, take care of her. But other feelings emerged and I knew that wouldn't be fair.

"Michael, can I see you?" She asked.

I hesitated not answering her, mulling over all the potential ramifications in my mind.

"Don't make me beg? Just say yes." She whispered to me.

I finally, with reservations, agreed. I told her Thursday night. She wanted it to be at my house. She called it home. I insisted we meet in public. We decided on Zen Zen near my office.

I was surprised when I saw Ali, I didn't know what to expect, but she looked perfectly normal. the same as always, which is beautiful. If somehow the last year had just gone away I could imagine this being a regular date night for us.

Of course all those things actually did happen throughout the past year. Things had most definitely changed.

We made small talk at first but the circumstances of our divorce simmered ever so slightly below the surface. Finally I asked her.

"So Ali," I asked, introducing the 500 pound gorilla, "what is happening in your life?"

First she burst into tears, and it took several minutes for her to be calm enough to speak.

She told me that Novacim didn't seem to be performing as Adrian told everyone it would. I knew some of this, but I stayed silent. Suddenly all the investors were demanding their money back. Ali said she asked Adrian about her money and he kept telling her she'd get it, that it was all safe. Just wait a little bit, he'd told her.

She then went on to tell me what a fool she had been and that all she wanted was to have me back.

"Michael, please," she pleaded, "give me a second chance. I'll do anything, anything. I will be the best wife, and even a mother at some point if you want."

I have to say it was all very tempting. I was still highly attracted to her, and her pledge of remorse seemed sincere. Still a lot has changed lately. I told her I needed some time to think about things.

"Michael, I understand," she said, glimmers of hope evident on her face, "how about this weekend, I could come home and we could talk some more."

I told her I already had some plans, but I was open on Sunday.

"Great," she gushed, "I'll make dinner."

With trepidation I agreed. More than anything I wanted to find out the details of what happened.

I had a good weekend and then suddenly it was Sunday. I kept my plans of meeting with Allison to myself.

I'd thought a lot about her over the past few days. I was still quite attracted to her and we had a lot of history together. After all we'd been through I didn't know if I could trust her, that was the key. Furthermore my life has changed a lot, especially lately.

Sunday evening right on time Ali arrived and walked straight in without knocking as if she was still living here. She was carrying groceries for the dinner.

"Michael, can you open the wine?" She asked.

As I retrieved the bottle she brushed against me and kissed my cheek. I noticed something in our interaction and then watched her bustling around the kitchen. After a minute I could tell she was braless. She knew I liked that.

She made a delicious dinner and throughout the meal our conversation was light hearted none of the heavy subjects that had ruined our marriage.

Finally I asked her what was going on with Novacim, Vasguez, and Dr Gupta and all that.

The facade of normal domesticity broke. She paused, took a deep breath and finally answered.

"Adrian keeps saying that Novacim still will be brought to market, but the timeline has changed. The investors are all screaming for their money back. I've asked for my money back too." She continued, "Dr Gupta has left the country and is now in some Asian country without an extradition treaty with the US. Adrian keeps getting notices from the Department of Justice asking for information. He's ignoring them for now."

"So," I began, "is he still living in the fancy house?"

"Yes," she replied, "for now. But Michael, let's talk about something else. I don't even want to think about all of that tonight."

After dinner we went into the living room, I sat on the couch, and Ali sat down, quite close to me. I felt a bit uncomfortable. She reached her arm across the back of the couch and began rubbing my bicep. She bent forward and her shirt gaped open, her naked breasts were mostly visible. She scooted closer. She knew how to turn me on and she was doing it.

She kissed me and then her hand grabbed my erection. It was so sexual and familiar, I took a deep breath and just wallowed in the sensation, and then I opened my eyes. I watched her watching me. She had an agenda, and I had fallen for it.

Suddenly my memories of my last few days in Hawaii came flooding back. This wasn't fair. Abruptly I stood up, rearranging my erect penis.

"Michael!" Alison was surprised at my reaction, "what's wrong?"

"Everything!" I told her, my anger was escalating, "do you think you can just trash our marriage, fuck another man, lie to me, treat me like shit, call me boring, and then when things go wrong in your new exciting life, flash me some tit and grab my cock and think all will be okay!?"

"I think it's time for you to leave." I told her, now all of a sudden feeling guilty.

"But Michael, " she said, "it's our house, I've been gone I know, but it's time for me to come home."

"Home!" I exploded, " you traded our 'home' for the promise of fortune and to fuck another man. If you recall, your life with me was boring, you told me you needed more excitement."

"Okay, I see you need a little time," she stated, still confident we would reunite, "I'll leave," she told me, and as she walked out the door I heard her say under her breath, "for now."

Thoughts swirled through my brain. She still had a small hold on me and I was tempted. But so much had changed. I needed to mentally come to grips with all the new developments in my life. I poured myself the last of the wine and went to the back patio to contemplate my life.

My life has changed so much in the last year. I thought of Ali, Vasguez, Novacim, my career at Pinkus, the divorce, and finally I found a pleasant subject to think about.

Gail. My thoughts drifted back to the rest of the vacation on Kauai.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

As you recall the day after Gail and I had kissed and gotten close, suddenly I couldn't find her. She did not return any calls or texts. It was confusing and alarming.

I had a terrible night's sleep, worried and wondering if I'd made a big mistake that was going to affect not only my personal life but my career.

That morning I got up and put on my running gear. Same route down the beach past the Sheraton and then back. It was difficult, I was at low energy ebb. A poor night's sleep and stress sapped my energy. I stopped briefly at the hotel for a water break still hoping to find her. Nothing, no Gail in sight. With a mixture of feelings I ended up walking back to my hotel.

I hadn't even made it to my room yet when out of the blue my phone vibrated. It was a message from Gail. Excitedly, I read the message.

'You should be receiving a document delivered this morning to your hotel room'

Huh, I thought. This didn't sound good. I hurried to my room. Entering I saw a 9x12 envelope stuffed under the door. Quickly I opened it. I read through the document. It was a letter of resignation from Gail Beverly. Effective this Friday.

Oh no. I had violated our relationship. I wondered if this would cost me my job. And beyond thoughts off myself if I had offended Gail, I needed to apologize. I texted her asking for us to meet and sort things out.

A moment later a reply.

'Be patient, you should be getting a few more deliveries..

Just then, I heard a muted rustle and I saw a second envelope appear beneath my door. Nervously I opened the second envelope. It took me a minute to understand what was in the envelope. After a few moments I understood.

Pinkus Labs had a strict non-fraternization policy. The key pages of a far longer document were paper clipped together. The following passage was highlighted:

Pinkus Labs fraternization policy creates a limitation between co-workers' professional and personal life. The policy sets boundaries within the workplace and allows employees to conduct themselves to respect peers. Personal relationships with managers and their direct report employees is forbidden.

Had she reported me? Was I going to get some type of ominous message from Human Resources? I was far more confused now, than before I received these messages.

Sitting in my room, document pages fanned out across my hotel bed, I didn't know what was going on. For a moment I thought of Gail. I thought of our closeness just a night ago. Did I misread the situation? I truly thought we had something. I guess I was wrong.

A moment later there was a quick double knock on my door. It startled me. It took a moment for me to get to the door and open it. A small square package too large to slide under the door was left in the hotel hallway. In black letters I saw my name printed on the white box. 'MICHAEL'.