All Comments on 'Seducing Big Brother'

please tell me you are not going to leave it there. I just have to know what the aunt comming over was all about. Is she in on the incest too? more please!

Enjoyed your story, but like many contributors to Literotica you use "laying" where it should be "lying" and "laid" where it should be "lay". Laying is for use, as in "I am laying something down" and laid is the past tense "I laid something down" It should be we lay side by side, or we were lying side by side.

Sorry, but bad grammar spoils the story.

fascinating!

That was great! I hope you bring the parents in on the action next time. The slow build up was great and kept me hooked. Nice ending. I wish it had continued on with everyone fucking. I agree on the grammar points but there are other entries on this site that does way worse than your little mistakes (like spelling errors I see) if they are wanting to critique people's stories. Don't worry about them! Just keep writing the hot stories and I will keep reading!

I agree with the grammer, in the 1st part you say she felt the cool air over her bare pussy and bottom legs, and he felt his cock in his head instead of hand, other than needing a little mor time proof reading was a great story and hope you add more to it.

Get off the guys back re. the small details until you proof read your comments, I thought the story was hot and teasing.

I love this story, very hot like a game of cat and mouse. I JUST HOPE YOU DON'T INCLUDE THE PARENTS please don't it'd ruin the whole story, god i hate that girls father in this story he sounds like a dirty old perv for eyeing his daughter up. I hate stories involving a parent and there child thats one style of incest stories or real that's just plain sick!!

I loved this story! It is one of my faves. I also have a thing for red heads so the little sister was an instant hook for me. Don't worry about the comments on grammer. I'm also a writer so I know how hard it can be to get everything right all the time. It doesn't subtract from the story either so I say it doesn't matter. I would love to see more of this. But i do agree with one of the comments i saw that says don't include the parents. I think it should stay between the brother and sister. You could throw the aunt in with the parents and have them be a whole new part to the story. But in the end its your choice and i know I will love the story whatever way you go. Keep up the great work!

that was a very good way of writing about it. i was a little scared that this was going into a little kiddie thing at the beginning but you proved me wrong, and im glad you did. good job, and keep up the work.

Great Story. Wouldn't mind reading a sequel to this. The cliffhanger ending makes me wonder what happens next.

if you can't do it right then don't do it at all. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A WHOLE LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT AND USE A GOOD EDITOR NOW REWRITE ALL YOUR STORIES AND DO IT PROPERLY.

If you are going to yell at the author, at least have the balls to sign your name!

nothing pisses most off more than some like you, If you are so damn good Show us what you've got!.

ED

remember this isn't english lit 101. for most this is their first time.

yet another wannabe writer that has no pride in the stories they post they just pump out the words and don't care if they make any sense. delete all stories and run them through a good editor then maybe they would be worth reading.

Great job dude u could use a lil more detail here and there but u still did great

5***** excellence!

only an underage virgin like the writer would get off on subpar crap like this. the webmasters need to step up and do a better job checking stories before they allow them on the site.

This is an excellent story of hot sisterhumping. Kid sister Tiffany is really hot for what her big brother Terry's got swinging between his legs, she'd love for him shove it up between her own legs. Plenty of brothers and sisters like to have lots of dirty fun together, they're excited by how different each one is between their legs--big brother's got a big stiff prick and a pair of heavy loaded balls, his kid sister has an adorable little coochie with pretty pouty lips, all pink and wet inside. Hey, sis, how about if I stick my big prick up your sweet little twat? That'll feel real nice for us both. And he does, and it does. The boy goes to work, his sister cums for the first time, like crazy, and he unloads his brotherly balls up the cutest little cunt around. Up his own sister's cunt is where a brother's warm creamy semen belongs.

Thanks man I hope you continue writing stuff like this it kept me hooked all the time i didn't lose any interest in the story really good job.

There should be a second part

...well the story is totally unbelievable from the very start. NO brother on the planet would turn down a blowjob from his sister, certainly he wouldnt be spouting that 'we're related, Im your brother' shit! Guys dont do that, they just accept the sex offered and work at not getting caught! ...and then after her I want to feel your love inside me comment? No fucking way she would be turned down. So, totally unbelievable!!

Slowly pushing inside her pussy, he felt how hot and wet she was, coming up to her hymen, he took a deep breath and shoved inside her with all his weight.

"Fuck! Oh, goddamn!" She cried out loud, feeling her pussy being opened for the first time. Feeling her brother's cock slide inside her hot, wet hole, breaking her virginity. "It hurts. . . . But damn, it feels great!"

@@@ FUCK!! Yet Another author who doesn't fucking know where the hymen is! Its a fucking epidemic on this site! How many uneducated virgin writers are there?! Even if he had gotten it right, she wouldn't have had one anyway with him jamming two fingers up in her, lol! ...and she certainly wouldn't be saying it hurts but feels great, rofl!! @@@

..the story was pretty decent all in all though... Kinda agree with the last poster too, heh. Oh, when she was giving him a bliwjob and the fucker shoved it down her throat, she should have bit down till she broke the skin and had blood in her mouth! What an asshole! He'd never get another bj again either, lol! ...well at least if theres a chapter two sis can get dad to take care of her properly! Hehe ;)

IS your name kelsey h

Do yourself a favor and learn about the following: verbs vs, gerunds; sentences vs, phrases; run-on sentences; punctuation, periods vs, commas. Good writing communicates your ideas THROUGH the way you write , not IN SPITE of it. It was a good story, as fantasies go, but several of the other comments were very valid. The flaws took much away from a fairly entertaining effort. Even good editing would not be sufficient to save it, Rewriting by either the author, armed with more knowledge and skill or someone with actual writing talent/experience is in sore need,

dont worry about the comments from those that cant leave their name. they can only make themselves feel better by tearing down the works of others. For me i loved the story, short and exciting, you had some nice twists and turns. This was a good read and i enjoyed it. I am not hear to grade you and we are not in school, so screw the grammatical haters out there.... go get your rocks off elsewhere....

not good to make fun of the mentally ill. i hope bro knocked the little slut up LOL!!!

It was very good. A little bit short. But good

Spoiled by the crap about the pill

"Ever had a blowjob?" Tiffany asked, looking over at her older brother with a hint of lust in her eighteen year old eyes.

"Maybe, stop asking me this stuff. I am not going to do anything like that with you, I am your brother." Terry sat there flipping through the channels on the living room television set. "What got you into this by the way?"

"No it isn't," she snapped back

WHAT THE HELL -- Did you leave something out? No it isn't WHAT??????

Will there be another part coming?

reads like the description of a pre-teen, not like an eighteen year old girl. It was enough to turn me off.

It needed another page. What the hell happened next ?

It all very well leaving to our imagination, but it's 'your' story, so tell it !

Rapier

paragraph killed the whole story. WTF!?!?

Fantastic!