Seeing Rick, Leaving Katelyn

Katelyn Long, age 38, seemed like the woman of my dreams when I met her more than two decades ago. A gregarious and personable girl who enjoys hiking, she was, and still is seen as the perfect partner.

She is not unattractive by any stretch. Her breast-length red hair is parted high and her eyes green. She wears a shade of pink lipgloss.

Her figure is the classic hourglass shape, 35 - 24- 36; her bra size is 32 C. Any guy would jump on her bones. I used to do her.

I had known her since we were sophomores at Sayville high school 22 years ago. Just friends at first, we hooked up during one of those parties that college students always seem to have.

So what happened to me? Why did I change?

A warm day in June finds me out for an early morning 4 mile run. Clad joggging shorts, a tank top and Nike running shoes, I am feeling the heat. I am perspiring under my arms.

My eyes have locked onto a youthful dude walking his dog on the opposite sidewalk. It is not the first time I've looked lustfully at another man and probably will not be the last.

When I came back to the house at 8 my wife was sitting on a wicker chair in the porch sipping a coffee. Her cell phone lies on the table in front of her.

"Chelsea called to ask if we're going to watch the concert on the common this evening."

The Lawtons from two houses away are a family of musicians who would watch any band whom they deem talented. Chelsea teaches music at the highscool and plays piano.

As it turns out one of the band members is a former student of Chelsea.

"We can go."

That said I stepped into the shower. On my run I had seen two dudes, both of whom captivated me. The subconscious urge to have sex with each of them rose halfway to the surface prompting me to stroke my dick as the water rinsed my body. Within a minute the organ had stiffened and my hand closed around the shaft. Bent on ejaculating while indulging in a daydream about cute men, I pumped my hand rapidly.

About three minutes elapsed then goop streamed to the floor a few inches from my toes. This feels so good and fucking a dude would feel even better.

There is always porn. Like many men, especially those who are lonely, I am not above looking at it. In a younger day there were magazines. Now there's the internet.

Opportunity came knocking on Tuesday, 4 nights after the concert on the common. Kate had left the house at 6 and was at a Tupperware party. Tupperware was just incidental. The girls just wanted to hang out and chat, have coffee.

I powered up the Mac Book on the desk in our darkened bedroom. A Google search returned URLs for several gay porn sites. For the next few minutes I scrolled down the screen viewing photos of hot young men indulging in anal or oral sex.

The desire to have sex with any one of those men would soon compel me to act. Can I get completely naked to masturbate? Probably not. I really should not have any noise that would drown out the sound of the front door. That meant no television, radio or music. The sound of the door would warm me that Katelyn is home.

Being attracted to men had to be my secret, at least for the time being. Someday I would come out, but that day is still months in my future.

I slid my hand into my pants and fingered the organ which gradually stiffened becoming fully erect in minutes. I then pulled my jeans and shorts halfway to my knees. I closed my hand around the 5-inch shaft. Bent on ejaculating, I pumped rapidly. Meanwhile I had the mental image of sucking the dick of a strikingly handsome blond.

BY 9 30 The sound of the front door prompted me to exit the website and power down the computer. A few streaks of white goop remained on my torso.

MY luck held. Katelyn did not come to the bedroom right away so I had time to wipe myself and zip up.

ON Monday morning at the law firm I waited patiently at my desk for my colleague Jon Kenwood, one of the few gay men in my world. Though I had known about his sexual orientation for a long time, it meant nothing to me until recently.

Minutes before 8 30 I sent a text "Let's go out for lunch today. There's a nice place a half mile from here."

The reply came back just minutes after the text was sent. "Sure."

"Two," I said to an attractive young dark-haired girl at the reception counter.

A blond led Jon and me past 4 booths to a fifth one.

We didn't have long to wait before a waiter stopped by our table.

He's cute. I wonder if Jon thinks so.

We made small talk while enjoying a leisurely lunch washed down with beer.

Is Jon seeing anyone?

I had just finished my steak tips. Seconds later he finished his fish tacos.

We're on a date as far as I'm concerned. I'm gay as well, just so you know.

"I needed to get away from the office."

"I come here often. The food is excellent."

He replied that he's "No stranger to the place."

"I got this," I said, taking the bill from the table.

"I owe you." "Forget it," I shot back.

"I Have a husband."

That's The last thing I wanted to hear.

My reply was knee-jerk.

"You never mentioned a husband."

"You never asked."

"How long have you guys been married?"

He said, "nine years."

I asked, "do you know any gay men who are single."

"No sorry," he replied. "All my friends are straight."

I said, "so there are no gay friends."

Having struck out with Jon, I began to consider going to gay bars. Maybe I should come out to Katelyn first.

A recent Friday night saw Kate relaxing in the rocking chair watching television. Coming out as gay to longtime friend Mark Wallace had paid dividends. Had Mark not interceded I would not have met Rick Crane.

Rick is the quintessential gay man. He doesn't have to say it. People can see that he's queer.

Anyway I was relaxing on the sofa in a small room off the washroom chatting with Rick on Face Time.

He was sitting in his livingroom not wearing a shirt.

The few hours we had spent together have been spread out over several days. We had not been intimate but we had not ruled it out.

"I want to have sex with you."

I nodded. "Some night I hope to have sex with you."

He moved further back letting me see his entire 5 8 stature. I watched him strip off his pants and briefs then did the same.

My eyes locked onto his hand pumping on the shaft. I waited for his climax as I masturbated with him.

Luck doesn't hold out forever. It went bad on a Friday evening a month after that Face Time call.

Katelyn glared at me sitting in the wicker chair on the porch.

Oh O, something's not right. She's pissed.

I looked across the porch at her.

"Your browser search history is quite interesting."

What? What do you mean?

"Don't look at me as if you don't know anything."

Shit. Why didn't I clear the browser history?

"Are you seeing a man?"

Should I deny it? I can deny it.

"You're having sex with Rick, aren't you."

Katelyn turned the lap top showing me the photos of naked men.

Embarrassed, I finally felt forced to fess up to her. She had met Rick but did she ever believe him to be just a friend? Maybe seeing how my eyes met his eyes made her suspect that he and I were/ are lovers.

The full truth had to come out. "I came out to myself two years ago. I came out to Mark and he introduced me to Rick. We're in a sexual relationship."

"I think you should go."

I nodded. Maybe we'll sell the house and split the proceeds.