Selective Amnesia

I ignored her and instead I went over to the window to look out. She was getting dressed behind my back and I could see the faint reflection of her form on the glass. When she was just about all ready I had a good mind to just let her go but then something nagging my insides wouldn't let it rest. I turned to address her.

"I have a question for you. If you didn't know it was me, then who the hell did you think I was?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? You just started kissing on a random guy you didn't know and then let him take you home and fuck you?"

"It's not like that. I knew who you were. I just didn't remember exactly is all."

"There's a huge fucking difference between me and every other guy out there. How could you mistake me for anybody else for even a second."

"I don't know. I knew that I knew you. I remember that. And ... uh ... I knew I trusted you and you were cute."

"Excuse me. Cute?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't."

"Why are you angry with me? Last night was just as much your fault. You knew who I really was and you let me do that anyway when clearly I was too drunk to know better."

"Yeah. And wouldn't our father be so proud of you."

Shame washed over her face. She swallowed as she looked down at her shoes. "I guess I better go."

"Yeah, I think you better."

...

I didn't really have anywhere to go but for some reason the lingering scent of Cindy along with the half memory of what we'd done was driving me from my apartment. I was the only one who lived in my building because it wasn't a typical apartment but rather a room above the bicycle repair shop where I worked part time. I wasn't working that day though so I figured I'd ride down to see Tommy and just see what was going on.

"Hey, asshole." I heard as I opened the door at the bottom of the stops on the side of the building.

I looked over a Jill. "What you want, Bitch?"

"You send your little hussy home or is she still up there?"

I approached Jill as she was sitting side saddle on her Harley. "Don't call her that."

"Back up. You touch me and I'll break your ball."

I put my finger right into her face between her eyes. "You say another word about her and I'll break you in half."

"Ooh, you must think she likes you. Relax stud. I just came by to be friendly. Us girls have to stick together against your kind."

"That girl is not who you think she is and we did not do what you think we did."

"I already knew the second part, cause it's you after all."

"Whatever. She's not here and even if she were I don't think she'd want anything to do with the likes of you."

"If little uptown girl didn't want to get dirty what was she doing getting filthy with you?"

"Are you done?"

"I need to use your bathroom."

"Use the one in the shop."

"I'm not putting my ass cheeks on that. You're place is right up there."

"I am not in the mood for foolishness."

"I'm just asking to pee. What the hell's wrong with you?"

She leaned up to her feet and the pushed past me to head up the stairs to my door. I followed her even though I had half a mind to just go grab a slice of pizza instead of entertain her for any longer.

"Come on, come on, or do you want me to squat on your stairs? Never mind, I take it back. Knowing you if I did that you'll be stuck there jerking yourself while you watched me."

I opened the door for her but then just waited there. I didn't have a door on my bathroom so if I entered much more into the apartment I'd have an unobstructed view of whatever she was doing in there.

"So did you fuck your little whore in here? I don't want to get pregnant because you sprayed cum all over the place."

'Don't do it.' I repeated to myself. It's just words. I waited while trying to think about which toppings I wanted. I was above this. She was just trying to get a rise out of me when she didn't really understand the situation. I needed time to think. I needed time to process everything. I needed time to be honest with myself. I did not need to be FUCKING waiting at my door for Jill to fucking get finished on the toilet. "ARE YOU DONE YET?"

"Hold your horses."

"You fucking take forever to pee."

She came back into my view while fixing her jeans skirt. "Your flush lever is broken again. Did your little blonde bimbo do that?"

"Wash your fucking hands."

She was locked in place looking at my eyes for a moment and then went back to the bathroom to do that. She came back out after shutting the water off. She was shaking the water from one hand in the air while she was wiping the other on her side. "I have to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"Can you close the door please?"

"I'm not going to put up with any bullshit."

"Just close it, please."

I did but I was ready in case she tried to pull anything. "What?"

"I have a question."

"So ask."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"About what?"

"You were going to go out but you didn't call me."

"We broke up. You knew that."

"I know but like, you said you needed time."

"I did."

"You said there was no one else."

"There wasn't. I didn't break up with you so I could be with anyone else. I needed time."

"Then what the fuck was last night? You pick up some random blonde bitch. Literally you picked her up and brought her back her so you could fuck her. And then ..."

"Stop."

"I'm not done. Cause ..."

"I fucking said STOP! For one, she wasn't just some random girl. I know her and I know her mom and I know how much trouble she was going to get into if I didn't do something."

"So you were her white knight. It sure didn't look that way to me."

"For two, ok, we broke up two months ago. 63 days in fact. That was the time I needed. I wasn't dating anybody else."

"If the time was up then why didn't you call me?"

"We're broken up. Don't you have a new boyfriend or some shit."

"I was waiting for you."

"Whatever. For three, I did NOT have sex with that girl last night."

"Bullshit."

"I didn't and if you ask her she'll tell you the same. She's not who you think she is."

"Then who the fuck is she?"

"None of your fucking business. I'm just telling you this to illustrate to you that you're totally wrong about this entire situation. And I did not know that you wanted to get back together."

"No now. Not after you fuck that ..."

"Don't you say one more fucking word about her."

"Who is she?"

"Jill, I don't have anything against you. I want you to be happy. But you do not have the right to ask me about her or to even be in my house. So time to go."

...

Friday night after school I rode out across the river to see if I could find a game. I had to be careful about how much I did this. I also had to be careful about letting other people know just how well I played. The real art wasn't in learning how to sink all the balls. I could teach that to anyone with a few hours of hard practice. The real art was getting people to think they could beat me, bet against me, and then actually get their money instead of a black eye. I knew a spot I hadn't hit in a while. It was over by the port so new fresh faces were always coming and going and hopefully some of them would have some cash to throw my way cause I was really broke from not going out in a while. Fact of the matter was the bicycle shop didn't pay enough to cover living expenses and being a part time college student.

The thing a lot of people will say about spotting a guy like me is that we hustlers will lose all our games until it is time to bet but that wasn't what I did. Maybe other hustlers did that but I had yet to actually mean any other hustlers. I was just making this up as I went along. What I did was win the first game. Then the second game I would lose. I made a very clear point to always sink a ball and then miss the next shot. One at a time was the way. Then when money was on the line I didn't just slaughter them. I kept to the pattern and made it look like I had just gotten lucky in beating them. There was no need to show off or let them know that I could beat them with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back. Also, there was no need to lie and say that I'd never played pool before. I admitted that I was practiced and thought of myself as pretty good.

"Four hundred dollars." I said with some awe snuck into my voice. "I mean, that's a lot of money."

"You don't got it?" the man on the other side of the table asked.

"Well, not on me."

"They got ATMs around here, don't they?"

"How about just a hundred? I mean, I'm good but, wow, four hundred on one game; I don't know that I'm that good."

"Four hundred, or don't waste my time."

"Ok, um, how about this. He's my wallet. I have the money but let's play first."

"You better pay up."

"If I lose, you're right."

"Now see, I don't like this. I'm holding cash in hand and you're just giving me a promise when your bank account could be empty. Doesn't feel fair to me."

"Then let's just bet a hundred. I have that in cash now."

The bigger man looked at me and then just shrugged. "No, it's fine. I'll put up my four and if I win you owe me five since you don't have the cash on you."

"Five? I'm going to be honest, I'm not sure I have that much."

The man looked away and cursed under his breath. "Well, come on. Are we playing pool or not?"

The bet stood at four hundred each. The game went very predictably. I gave him three opportunities to sink the eight ball before I put her down and made it look like it was just luck that the white didn't go down with it. The big man's eyes were saucers as he saw it.

He was frozen there for a moment. That was when I knew I was going to either get paid or I'd have to book it out of there as fast as I could.

...

I parked my bike and got off. As I took my helmet off I tied to look at my face in the mirror to see if I had a shiner or not. That asshole had sucker punched me after paying me and then I'd had to beat him and two of his buddies off of me. Fuck my hands hurt and it was too dark to see so I gave up on that and just decided to go in and count my earnings.

Once in my place I put my phone on the charger and noticed that I had a missed call. I expected it to be Tommy or maybe the new manager at the shop calling to change my schedule. Instead it was Cindy. And she left a voice mail but it was just her huffing in frustration and then hanging up. I called her back but she didn't answer right away. Instead of leaving my own message for her I just put the phone back down and went to maybe see if I had some ice to put on my knuckles.

Before I could cross the room, even small as it was, Cindy called me back and I heard the bass solo at the beginning of Bells as my ring tone.

"Hey." I started.

"Hello. Louis?"

"It's me. What's up?"

"It's me. Cindy."

"I know. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if it was ok if we could talk?"

Talk? "About what?"

"Just whatever. Anything. I really want to talk to you."

"You can't give me anything more specific than that?"

"Well, I could but ..."

"Cause like I'm pretty sure there's one topic that we've pretty much exhausted our potential conversation on."

"Oh, of course. I'm not calling about that."

"You sure?"

"Positive. I have so many other things to talk to you about."

"Well, I'm actually not good on the phone."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not a phone guy. Ok. I mean, if you want to talk I'm here at home so."

"So you want me to come over?"

"I'm here and you want to talk."

"Would it be ok if you came to visit me?"

"Is your mom there?"

"Yeah."

"Hard pass. You come here."

"Why don't you like her?"

"That is too long a conversation to have on the telephone."

"It's kind of late though."

"I want you to come."

"Tonight?"

"I'm asking you to come."

I really did not expect her to come by. I iced down my hands and just expected sleep to come for me. Sleep wasn't coming and I had half a thought to playing my bass to pass the time. It was good time for it with hardly anybody else around and the shop downstairs closed. But fuck my hands hurt.

I got out my phone and thought about calling Jill. Wouldn't she just love that. I could just serve myself up for her ridicule. What would it be this time? Well, fuck her. I had rent money so her opinion didn't matter.

My phone played Bells just as I saw the lights of a car come down my street.

"Cindy?"

"Yeah, I'm almost there. Do you know where I can park?"

"Just park in front."

She did and I welcomed her up as I watched her climb from the top of the stairs. She didn't look up at me and just kept her head down as she passed me. Once inside she seemed to be uncomfortable about what to do or where to sit.

"Well, I'm here. So can we talk."

"Sure." I said. "I don't have a sofa. Sorry."

"No, it's ok. I'm ... What happened to your hands?"

"Uh, nothing."

She came to me and took my left hand into both of hers and then she brought it up close to her face to look at it. "Did you take up boxing or something?"

"How's your gymnastics?" I asked as a way to get her off the topic of my hands.

"Um, so so." she said as she finally looked up at my face. "What happened?"

"Bar fight. Not a big one. Just a couple of punches and then I was out of there."

"Do you want to go to the hospital?"

"For this? You're kidding. Couple days, heal up. It'll be fine."

That conversation was over but she didn't leave. She was visibly uncomfortable as she tried to get comfortable on my bed. She started to try and say something a few times but they were false starts and she'd lose her confidence and then it would be silent again.

"She's pretty." Cindy finally said in reference to the pin up girl I had above the bed.

"Her tits are nice too."

"Well, I wasn't looking at those."

"Well, that's what I look at. I can't really get to know her personality from here but I can admire the tits."

"Anyway, did you, um, did you like my friends?"

"Sure I guess. I can't really remember any of their names or anything though."

"Do you think you'd want to maybe hang out with me and my friends again sometime?"

"Sure, I guess, but I'm not really down with all the dancing and that kind of stuff."

"Well, I can teach you how to dance."

I just shrugged. She was going to pull me in to hang out with her friends, I was going to go along for the ride and smile as the disaster hit.

"And there was another thing I wanted to talk to you about." she added.

Here we go. She was going to bring it up even though I'd told her not to. "Let me cut in here." I said. "You asked me about your friends so that was one topic. Now I get to say something before we move on."

"Oh, right. Of course. Totally."

"Can you stand up for me?"

She got to her feet and I did as well.

"Look at me." I said.

She looked up.

"Don't say anything. Don't ask me any questions. Understand?"

Her eyes had some fear but she went with it. "Yes."

"I'm just going to be honest. Can you handle that?"

"I hope so."

I move closer to her. Her instinct was to back away but her legs were already next to the bed so there was nowhere to go.

"I want you." I said to her. She was going to try and say something but "Don't say anything." I reminded her. I moved my arm around her waist. "Look at me." I said. She did so and I was nodding. "I want you. Hear me. I want you. I have wanted you for too long. I'm not going to lie to myself about it anymore. We shouldn't lie to each other about it anymore. Look at where you are. There's nobody here but us. Me and you. Now don't say anything. Just nod your head yes or no. Do you want me?"

She looked up at me into my eyes and then nodded yes. I kissed her. It was a brief kiss but it was enough to establish some sort of basis between us. I let her go and then looked down at her to see her reaction.

"Can I say something now?" she asked as she opened her eyes.

"Ok."

"I thought you said we weren't going to talk about that."

"We're not. There's nothing else to say. I was wrong. What I said before was wrong. I just needed to tell you that so I could be honest with you."

"How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long have you, ahem, wanted me?"

"It's complicated. Um, the idea of it was there even before the car accident. Obviously it wasn't sexual thoughts back then but something more innocent. And then afterwards, it wasn't there at all."

"Why not?"

"Why do you think?"

"I don't know. I didn't know what was happening back then."

"It wasn't fair."

"It was an accident."

"I was supposed to be me in that car. They had wanted you girls to ride together but Madeline and I switched places because I wanted to sit next you. And after that day I hated you. I hated myself for wanting you. Madeline is gone. My mom is gone."

"And daddy, too."

"Gone. And you might as well have been gone too. I never heard from you. No call. No visit. Nothing. You abandoned me."

"I was twelve. And I tried looking for you. I asked my mom to take me to see you. There was only so much I could do."

"Yeah, I figured but ... You don't understand."

"I want to. I'm listening. I'm here. I'm still here. And I'm going to be here. So tell me whatever you want to say."

I was having a really hard time finding the words for what I wanted to express. All the emotions and thoughts were scrambled and contradictory. I wanted her but I blamed her and it was all starting to come up at the same time. "Suck my dick."

"No, I mean it. I'm here for you. I want to be here for you from now on." she said.

I backed away from her. "That wasn't rhetorical." I said as she unzipped my pants and got my dick out for her. She looked down at my dick and then looked up at me with her eyes determined.

"Just like that? No dinner first. At least offer me a drink."

I smiled. "I got cold pizza. And there's beer in the fridge."

She shrugged with one shoulder. "Good enough I guess." Then without looking away from my gaze her hands went under her skirt and she was getting out of her panties. They passed her feet one ankle at a time. Then as they dangled from her fingers she offered them to me.

"Mine?"

"Just like the rest of me."

I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me. Instead of just closing the distance and standing in front of me she instead jumped up and I had to think fast to catch her. She had her legs wrapped around me. We then engaged in a much sloppier version of kissing. Funny enough I never got my blowjob but what did I care. I brought her the couple of steps over to the bed and we moved together down to the mattress. With my jeans still on most of the way and her skirt blocking me from getting as close as I would like my cock nonetheless found her and entered her. When that moment happened she locked into place for a moment as we came to realize what this was. I started to move in and out of her very wet and welcoming cunt a she laid underneath me with her legs still embracing me. She looked at me with animal passion in her eyes.

"So, we're being honest with each other, right?"

"How much more honest can we be than this?" I asked.

"I love you. I missed you. I never called you. You never called ME. Do you know how my heart ached for you? I felt like you'd died too. And when I did see you the way you looked at me, like I was nothing. Well, I'm not nothing. The other night, I knew it was you. I knew what I was doing. You're mine and I'm going to make you love me back."

...

Author's note:

Thank you for reading my story. I hope you liked it.

This story is part of a series of short one off stories between five and ten thousand words a piece. I don't intend to write sequels. I have some other novels I'm writing at the moment and the ideas that will go into these stories don't fit into those but I didn't want just cut them since there is something in them that is worthy in my opinion.