Self-Discovery Tour

At some point during the night I heard my tent rustle and felt a body slide along mine. "I hope I didn't offend you out there earlier." Ron whispered.

"Heavens no. That was wonderful," I heard myself say. "Thank you for the sweet affection, I really needed that."

"Do you still need affection now?"

Without thinking, I pulled back my blanket and put my arms out in welcome. We started with another chaste kiss and quickly moved to passionate. I felt my arousal growing all over my body, my skin suddenly blazing. I lifted one leg over his and pressed my mound against his bare thigh. His rock-hard shaft slid between my naked legs. That reminded me that I was wearing only my underwear - and pretty little of that. My desire for him, for fucking him, overwhelmed my mind - almost.

My rational self, my wifely self and my conservative self finally took control and forced me to say, "No. I'm sorry. We can't do this Ron. I'm married. You're a very attractive and sexy man. If I wasn't married, I would jump you right here. But this temptation is too much for me. Please go back to your tent."

"I'm sorry Susan. I don't want to offend you. I just wanted to continue our wonderful experience on the dune. I shouldn't have assumed you were feeling the same way. Don't worry. I won't bother you for the rest of the tour. Good night."

He crawled out of my tent and I almost started crying. My body was still throbbing with desire, but my mind was struggling to hold the line. I'm not a cheater. This trip isn't my real life - my real self. I have to resist temptation - but I want him so badly!

I barely slept that night. At one point I thought I heard some quiet panting and then a moan. Ron prepared breakfast the next morning and was polite to everyone - but not smiling. We loaded up the dune buggy, got in our seats, he turned the key and - nothing. The battery was dead. I quickly realized our situation. There was no phone service within 20 miles. We had only brought enough food and water for one day. Walking back to civilization in the heat would be impossible. No one else knew exactly where we were, so a search and rescue operation might take days.

I started to panic. Ron cursed. The McPeters were silent. For once in my life I was in a real life-or-death situation. I had never experienced anything like the fear that was growing in my belly. "I could die here!" I realized.

Ron said, "OK. We're going to have to do this the hard way. Lily, do you know how to drive a stick shift?" She nodded. "Then please come up here to the driver's seat, the rest of you out." He put the buggy in first gear and turned on the useless ignition system.

He got Lily in the driver's seat and then explained how she must hold the clutch down until he shouts to release it. If the engine starts, she must push the clutch back down and wait for the rest of us to get back in. That sounded simple.

Fortunately, the vehicle was on hard ground, not soft sand. As Ron instructed, the three of us got behind the vehicle. "Now, when I say go, you've got to push as hard as you can. If we get it moving fast enough she can start the engine. When I shout 'release' for Lily, stop pushing because you could get hurt. OK?"

Charles nodded and I smiled at Ron. What a man. We struggled to get it moving and, fortunately, it was on a slight downhill slope. I started running and pushing as hard as I could. Ron yelled: "Release". The buggy jerked, and then zoomed ahead under its own power. I was still pushing and quickly found myself face down in the dirt.

"Susan, are you all right?" Ron yelled. He seemed very upset. My hands had been scraped and my face bruised a little, but no serious injury. "I'm fine. I guess it worked eh?"

Lily had kept the engine running and we caught up with the buggy, Ron took a moment with the first aid kit and cleaned my scraped hands and wiped my face gently. Then he took the wheel and we proceeded to drive back to the base camp. I was in the front passenger seat and couldn't take my eyes off Ron. He had been so cool. He knew what to do in an emergency and managed his crew to get it done. I had heard of push starting a car, but it would never have occurred to me. Without Ron, my skeleton would have eventually joined the goat's.

That was this morning. During the day we visited the camp of a Bedouin goat herder who seemed glad to have visitors and served us tea in small brass cups. He and his people live in the desert without cars - using camels for long distance travel. The family follows the goats around the sparse grazing fields - all year. My view of the world has really expanded. My view of myself is confused.

Your glad-to-be-alive friend, Susan

To: Jennifer******@Gmail

From: Susan******@Gmail

Date: April 11, Petra Jordan

It's me again.

I've had another day of learning about the world and learning about myself. We drove from Wadi Rum to Petra in the morning. Now, I am in a hotel outside Petra. Electricity, running water, a private room, internet - and the whine of a generator running outside. I guess no place is perfect.

The "buildings" at Petra are unique in the world. They were created by the Nabataeans before the time of Christ. Instead of quarrying, shaping and stacking rocks to build buildings, they took the existing sandstone cliffs and carved out huge rooms inside them and sculptured intricate facades on the outside. Lookup Petra for fantastic pictures of the incredible carvings they left behind.

I noticed that Ron was still staying away from me today. I think he feels guilty for coming into my tent that night. Dorothy and Gloria seemed to sense the change and were all over him today. I noticed the three of them coming out of one of the cave rooms together. The women were giggling and Ron was not happy. He's trying to spend more time with the couples now.

The locals offer camel rides to tourists and we had to do it. We screamed as the camels heaved us back and forth as they stood up. Late in the day, the camel men had no more customers so we started chatting with them in a rest area. They understand enough English to allow basic conversations. They could also figure out which of the women in our group were single and adventurous. I guess men all over the world know how to do that. They invited the three of us up to their house for late tea and entertainment.

We let Ron know about our plan to visit the nearby village and drink tea with the camel guys. He immediately made some changes to that evening's plans. He sent the rest of the group back to the hotel in the bus and invited himself to join our tea party. The camel guys didn't seem to mind and we all walked up the hill to their village of cement block homes.

Just before we arrived at the house, one guy ran ahead and told his wife that guests were coming. I don't understand Arabic, but I have a good idea what she yelled back. But, she put on a good front, served us tea and cookies and made sure we were all comfortable. We sat on large cushions on the floor while the men started playing some stringed instruments and singing. Soon, their children joined in and began dancing in a circle, laughing and playing. We all clapped to the music. It was one of the best moments of the trip.

As is typical in many Arab homes, guests are honored and often given gifts. It is insulting to refuse such a gift, so Ron accepted the small camel hair rug on behalf of the group. It wasn't something that we would ever buy, but the sincerity of their giving made it a special souvenir.

By the time we had finished, the sun had gone down and night had settled around us. The almost full moon had just risen in the East. The men offered to let us ride their two camels back to the hotel, about two miles. There were four of us so we played rock, paper, scissors to see who got the ride and who had to walk. I was quite pleased when Dorothy and Gloria won the camel ride. It gave me some alone time with Ron - which excited me.

Fortunately, there was just enough moonlight to find our way down the road. The sweet scent of some flowering plant filled the air. Again, the total silence of the desert seemed to press on my ears. For the first mile, we chatted about the day and the gracious family that had taken us in. At my insistence, we traded off the task of carrying the gift rug. But, I really needed to express my feelings to Ron, so I stopped him in the road and turned him toward me. His face was lit with the silver moonlight.

"Ron, I'd like to say a few things about the other night and about my feelings. Please just let me talk for a few minutes. OK?"

"Of course, Susan. Go ahead."

I took a deep breath and started walking again. Ron fell in next to me.

"I'm a married woman and committed to my marriage. I have never cheated on my husband."

"I am also a human female with needs and wants and urges. Those two parts of me clashed the other night, and I'm afraid I wasn't very nice to you. I had led you on when we kissed and then I suddenly threw you out. I believe that's called a tease. I'm very sorry for doing that to you."

Ron mumbled, "That's okay. I shouldn't have assumed anything."

"But, you could assume. You could assume that a woman who kisses you - passionately - and is obviously aroused, wants to make love with you. She may also want other things, but sex is definitely on her mind. I have been feeling this conflict for two days now. I have my commitment to my husband, yet as I watch you all day I feel strongly tempted to have you - to let you have me. You're a very sexy man and the attraction between us is obvious. Don't you agree?"

We walked a few steps while he pondered my statement. He shifted the rug to his other shoulder. "Yes, Susan. I'm very attracted to you, both physically and emotionally. But I understand your commitment to your husband and I honor that. So, I won't try to tempt you. I respect you too much to do that. You're safe with me now."

But that's not what I wanted! At that moment, I cracked. My will power instantly evaporated. I knew I had to have him - and soon. "But, Ron," I croaked. "Part of me wants you to tempt me. I don't want to be safe with you. I want to have us enjoy each other and thrill each other - and fuck each other."

I couldn't believe I had said that. I slapped my hand over my mouth. But it was too late to stop those words. I dropped my head to hide my face from Ron. My most repressed secret desire had slipped from my lips. My true, hypocritical self was exposed to Ron - and to me. "Oh God," was all I could say to the darkness.

Poor Ron didn't know how to react to that announcement. He'd just said he respected me and wouldn't try to tempt me again. And now I was asking him to fuck me.

We both stood there in silence for a good minute. I slowly raised my head to look at him. When the moonlight revealed his handsome and confused face, my uncertainty disappeared. Behind him, glowing in the moonlight, was the spectacular façade of the "Monastery", an intricate and beautiful building, carved by the Nabataeans 2,000 years ago. Earlier that day, we had climbed around that façade and stood on the stone terrace at the top. I felt inspired, so I took his hand and started walking toward the stone structure.

Ron came with me, not hesitating, asking no questions. It took only a few minutes to climb to the top and look out over the Petra valley. We could see miles of moonlit valley walls, many carved into buildings. I took the rug from his shoulder, untied the string which held it, and spread it out on the terrace. "Please Ron, I really do want you - now."

I won't give you too many details Jen. It was too personal to share with even you. We quickly undressed each other and I stood in awe of his hard body glistening in the moonlight. I was embarrassed and excited to reveal my own naked form to him. We fell down on the rug and both released our passions. Our bodies reacted to each other as nature intended - mine became wet and his became hard. We kissed and fondled and licked until we could wait no longer. My blood scorched through my veins and I fell back and welcomed him into my body. He pounded me with his lust. I pounded back with my hunger. It was magical - and mind-blowing. I let him come inside me and my orgasm ripped me apart. My screams echoed across the valley.

We lay together for a long time. It was pleasantly warm so we were perfectly comfortable being naked. We held each other close as our passion subsided. I looked up at the moon and began the horrid second thoughts. What have I done? I have been unfaithful to Larry. I have broken my vow. I couldn't help comparing my normal sex with Larry to the incredible act I had just experienced. My husband is an uninspired lover, but a good and faithful man. Why did I do this?

Because it was so wonderful! The entire experience was a perfect lover's dream. A handsome and charming man desired me and made love to me. I gave myself willingly and with passion. We shared intimacy and ecstasy of the highest order. How could this be wrong? Oh, Jen. I wish you were here to help me understand what is happening to me.

Your concerned, but satisfied friend, Susan

To: Jennifer******@Gmail

From: Susan******@Gmail

Date: April 13 Cairo

Dear Jennifer,

Again, my apologies for not emailing you yesterday. I had internet service, but was too emotionally involved to think of you or anything else. Details below.

Yesterday had been planned as a day of rest for the group. We drove down to the beach at Aqaba. It overlooks a part of the Red Sea called the Gulf of Aqaba. From here you can see the Saudi Arabian coast and the tip of Israel at Eilot. Most of the group relaxed on the beach, drank rum drinks (not in public) and watched American television in the hotel.

Ron and I were not relaxed. We both felt guilt for what we had done the previous night. He mistakenly thought that he had tempted me. I knew that it was all on me. My mind, or a part of it, had decided to fuck him and dragged him up the hill to our love nest. I suppressed my conscience and did what my body wanted. It was terrible - and it was wonderful. I will always know that it was both.

We hung out together all day. He didn't have to monitor the others and I didn't have to communicate with anyone else. We mostly just sat silently, held hands and occasionally kissed chastely. I felt affection - and lust - for the man and felt joy in his presence. But I knew I didn't love him and that our time together would end soon. Bittersweet is the word.

Last evening we shared a room service dinner in my room. Then we let nature take over again. Why not? This life is short and we must savor every second of it. I don't think repetition of the infidelity causes more damage than the first time. At least, that's my justification for closing my eyes to reality and enjoying my time with Ron.

We began slowly with kissing and hugging. Then my body quickened and I threw him down on the bed. I felt wetness in my pants and fullness in his. We pulled our clothes off and his face wore the mask of lust. I went down on his manhood with an enthusiasm I have never felt before. I delighted in the feel of his cock on my tongue. I took most of him my mouth and sucked on his shiny knob while Ron quivered and moaned. I sensed him approaching climax, and increased the speed of my sucking and stroking until he jerked and sprayed his seed down my throat.

I felt a need to rest for a while, but I knew I shouldn't. It would give me time to think again - and I didn't want to think. I lay on my side, my body alongside his and gently stroked his skin. He murmured something and kissed the top of my head. I struggled to maintain the wall in my brain - faithful wife on one side, sexual animal on the other.

Ron soon raised his face next to mine and displayed an affectionate smile. "May I return the favor?" he asked politely. I nodded and fell backwards, displaying my naked body with no embarrassment. He leaned over me and began kissing and sucking my stiff nipples as his hands caressed my breasts. His skilled fingers made everything south of my waistline clench tightly. My body filled with arousal and I closed my eyes, pushed my head back and my chest forward. I don't think my boobs have ever given me so much pleasure before.

He slid down between my legs and began to gently kiss my thighs, my belly and my mound. I began to shake from the nervous energy generated in anticipation of his next move. "Don't tease me Ron!" I demanded. I felt his breath against my pussy and then his tongue suddenly shot out and electrified my clit. Instantly, my hips convulsed and I shrieked through a two second orgasm. When I opened my eyes, I was staring at the ceiling trying to comprehend what had happened. Ron raised his head and proudly smiled at me. I moaned, giving him permission to return to his duties.

His tongue was incredible. It could be soft and hard, smooth and rough, probing and caressing - all at the same time. My vagina throbbed when it was penetrated. Ron continued for several minutes, while I simply laid there and soaked up the pleasure. My orgasm began to rise and Ron must have sensed it. Just before I crested, he thrust two fingers forcefully into me and set me off like fireworks. I can't remember any more than that. Ron later said that I was a screamer. Perhaps that is why my throat was sore the next day.

When I floated back into my mind, Ron was holding me and lightly kissing my face. I stroked his cheek and wordlessly said "Thank you" with my eyes. We exchanged a long, loving kiss and fell asleep.

I was disoriented for a moment when I woke during the night. I remembered Aqaba and the beach and the hotel room, but something wasn't right. Then my memory caught up and I remembered Ron. It was his warmth that radiated against my back and legs - and my ass. My head rested on his left arm and his other arm rested on my hip with his hand on my belly. He snored quietly.

I slid out of bed, used the bathroom and then slipped back into his embrace. He awoke and pulled my body against his. I moved his right hand from my belly to my right breast and squeezed it. We lay that way for several minutes and then he asked, "Are we ready to consummate our affair?" I giggled and said "Yes." Immediately, I felt him throb between my cheeks. My own arousal instantly grew to match his.

I had assumed that if I had sex with Ron again it would be lustful, passionate fucking like the previous evening. But, this time we made love. It was slow and gentle and affectionate. We each worked to please the other. When we finally joined, I was riding his hips, impaled on his cock and gazing into his burning eyes. We watched each other as our passions grew in synchronous expectation. My body clenched around his shaft. His orgasm was the spark to detonate mine and we shuddered together in shared ecstasy...

I see that this email is way long and I'd better wrap it up and get to bed. The remaining story of today was simply sad and also joyful.

This morning, we flew to Cairo to catch our respective planes back to the US. We shared a group hug and everyone exchanged email addresses and promised to share photos. They all left today, but I don't fly out until tomorrow morning on a Delta non-stop to Atlanta.

Before he left, Ron and I found some privacy in the frequent flyers club and used it to talk, not fuck. We both understand that we will never meet again. He has his adventures dodging boulders in an avalanche and I have my adventures avoiding shopping carts in the grocery store. This vacation was certainly my most memorable. I expect that I will be dreaming about pyramids and temples and deserts - and Ron, for the rest of my life.

I kissed him goodbye at the gate as he boarded his flight. We shared a loving smile and he turned away. I was sad to lose him, but didn't cry. I was feeling a greater joy for having shared our short-lived adventure.