tagNon-EroticSelf Reflection

Self Reflection


I've been seeing this Gemini for three months now and I must say that I've already found myself compromising and trying to be patient and trying to understand what I've gotten myself into. The thing is, he and I understand each other in more than just intellectual conversation, which is why I keep thinking he can't possibly be a Gemini but however, this describes him to a t. I went three weeks without seeing him and barely communicating because he was so busy and it about had me bawling on the floor. (I'm a scorpio girl.)

When we first started seeing one another it was on the basis that we would just mess around because well, he didn't want a relationship and neither did I at the time, as a matter of fact, that first night we were together, it was only supposed to be a one time thing, but it was very hot and full of passion and so we went as far as saying ok, this is not what I expected. So then things went forward. I must say that even though it's only been three months, every-time he walks into a room, I see so much energy and passion there that it makes me swoon.

I hate when he wants to distance himself and I can't speak to him because well, he just wants to go off hunting or camping or something that doesn't include me, but I love how he will tell me he misses me or he's thinking of me or he wishes that he could be near me when he is away because it does make my heart melt.

I've thought about seeing someone else and moving forward but every-time I look into his eyes I can't. They are so tender, so sweet and so full of emotion that I can't even bring myself to do it. The only reason I want to do this is because I am starting to feel as though I don't want to get my heart broken because of an agreement I made but I can't help to see if things could turn out positive. It's weird but within a short time of meeting him I knew I wanted him as my own and that we would make a great couple. The question I have though is why is it taking him so long to make a decision.

I admire his honesty, which makes me devoted to him. He is very compassionate and intelligent and thoughtful and I love that the most about him. I love that he is able to make my ruffled feathers calm just by being around him. He makes my nerves steady and calm to a point where I can be comfortable. In the bedroom he is very very passionate and hot and it makes me want him all the time. (Talk about sprung!) Anyway, I am satisfied with what he allows me to see, it's what I can't see that drives me nuts and I have such a hard time trying to wait for him to get to where I know he eventually will, which is give me a yes or a no, but I can't let go either because it's difficult.

A Gemini and Scorpio attachment is one of those I hate to love you but I love to hate you type of things, but I'm willing to suffer through the insecurities if it means that he is being honest with me and I get to feel his arms wrap around me so tight and hold me close. I hate being away from him because at times it seems as if I am so far away but then when he shoots back down to where I am I know that the whole time he was away I was there where he was, so in essence I was never too far away even though it seemed like it.

Here's why things seem the way they do for me. He's sweet, tender, sensitive to what I think and what I feel. He loves being around me and leaving kisses on my body from the shallowest to the deepest parts. When I look into his eyes I see passion and life. I see something so strong it locks me into his gaze. He makes my frazzled nerves settle, because I'm prone at times to think the worst. He told me once before that he is who he is and that's that. I love that about him. He also makes me smile from my heart outward. He's a man that I know and have always known given a chance, I could truly deeply love him.

The question I find myself asking is, could I love him without the possibility of him loving me as deeply as I love him? Can I give love without expecting him to love me, just to show that what I feel for him is real and what he feels is authentic and there is nothing to be afraid of? Am I willing to self sacrafice for something that may turn out to not be as I hoped it would. Turn out to be something completely different and that my fragile heart could get broken because I sincerely truly do want to be with this man. I knew that from our first conversation that he was one worth holding on to. I just know I don't want to be the one he doesn't want to hold on to.

Can I allow myself to get wrapped up in this man's kiss, touch, heart, sexual organs and all of that and beyond without making him feel the demanding pressures of commitment. Show him that love, commitment doesn't mean lost in freedom. Can I lay myself to the side and love him without expectations at all? Can I?

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byNavaura© 3 comments/ 2649 views/ 1 favorites

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