Senpai's Harem Pt. 03

After having to postpone a few times, José finally found himself heading for a booth at IHOP on Thursday after work for the D and D planning session. The goal was to figure out characters, roll stats, and try to pick a regular date and place to hold the sessions. Voting on the where was purely a formality. Since the duplex Jackie and Jacob rented with their mom was the most conveniently situated, they really only needed to iron out where to fit everyone and determine who would bring what food. José was already mulling over what dishes he might bring that could potentially survive the trip from home to work to D and D while properly showcasing his cooking talents.

Figuring out the when was going to be trickier. They had to factor in the fluctuations of retail schedules, Jacob's college classes and the prep for finals that accompanied them, the holidays, and the trip to Great Wolf Lodge. His team had been officially announced the winner that Monday, as had the full prize details. They would check into the lodge's Majestic Bear Suite on January 11th and check out on the 13th.

It was decided that as the sole male of the group and team captain, he'd get the private king bedroom to himself. Mariah would get one of the queen beds to herself, as Emma had ultimately decided not to come. Kayla and Alice were taking the other queen, and Jackie would use the full size sleeper sofa. They would see Moira at the waterpark and perhaps share a meal or two, but she'd sleep in a separate room with her husband.

José was having mixed feelings about the whole thing. Sure, the water park would be fun, and he was going with some of his favorite work people, and he was in near desperate need of relaxation, but...the ladies had been acting weird since winning. Mariah and Alice seemed to be plotting. They would put their heads together, talk quietly about something, glance at him, then burst into giggles. Kayla had doubled down on the insults, and there seemed to be a new energy to them that he had yet to identify.

Jackie was sometimes the same- mildly teasing him, being unnecessarily protective of him when Kayla and Alice started in with the verbal sparring, making anime references she knew he'd get, laughing at his antics- but then she would randomly slip back into her old persona, back to the reserved version she presented before she had become comfortable with him. She seemed even more lost in thought than normal, and whatever those thoughts were seemed to take her emotions in every direction. Altogether, it was making him feel on edge.

José and Donald had closed together, so they ended up meeting Andrea, Jacob, and Jackie there. As he got closer, he realized they were already talking about characters. Specifically, Jackie was asking Jacob what she had to be in order to have a battle elephant as a pet. When he told her that if she were a wizard she could have a familiar, but that her character would have to build up to being powerful enough to cast something that large, and as the DM he could still forbid it, she pouted for a few seconds, then asked if she could start with a battle pygmy goat.

Jacob was shaking his head in exasperation when José slid in across from them. Jacob looked at him and gave a slight nod of acknowledgment. Andrea muttered a distracted "hey", as she was preoccupied with taking a D and D quiz Jackie had recommended to help her determine her race and alignment, even though Jacob had argued it wasn't necessary. He was most focused on Jackie's reaction to his arrival. She had gone from being animated and relaxed to still and tense. The briefest flash of joy had lit up her face, and then her expression went completely blank.

José found he didn't like that at all. He was unsure why it bothered him so much and wondered at his desire to say or do something to make her not shut him out when he noticed her mentally retreat for a few seconds, grab for her lemonade, sip it with intense focus, and set the glass carefully back down. After a brief pause, she looked him right in the eyes, gave a small smile, and said, very softly, "Hello". Somehow, that was enough. He let go of the tension, leaned forward, and jumped into the conversation with, "Yeah, well, I want to be a bard!".

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Team José had officially checked into their room. They had dropped off their belongings, then got ready to split up to explore what the resort had to offer, with an agreement to meet up for dinner at 7:30. Mariah, Kayla, and Alice intended to set up camp in one of the lagunas, José was bound for the water slides, and Jackie figured she'd stick to the hot springs and maybe Crooked Creek.

The girls took turns changing into their suits in the bathroom while José got ready in his bedroom. After 15 minutes, he emerged wearing black board shorts and his trademark K State ball cap, only backwards. Kayla, Mariah, and Alice gave exaggerated wolf whistles. Jackie looked him over then glanced away, but not before he caught a smile and just the faintest of blushes. He only barely held back his own, feeling a bit shy from all the attention, but flattered.

Once the hubbub died down, he made his own observations. Mariah had indeed opted for a new suit, going with a bikini in classic black. Jackie had also gone with black, but her suit was a modest one piece with a skirt. Alice wore a no frills one piece in navy blue, while Kayla had chosen an amethyst colored one piece with asymmetric cut outs.

He thought the swimsuits suited each lady's personality well. He also thought the women perfectly captured the many forms of female beauty. Jose wondered if they would smack him if he asked to draw them and decided not to risk it. Everyone now properly attired, they filed out of the room and went their separate ways.

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Jackie was feeling decidedly mellow after visiting the hot springs. She had since showered and changed and was now seated with the others for dinner. While the rest planned to enjoy some of the wines available, she was sticking to her beloved Pepsi. She had some research to do, and wanted a clear head to do it.

Besides, she had a ridiculously low tolerance. Depending on the alcohol, she might just fall asleep at the table. Worse, she could lose the filter she relied so heavily on to monitor what came out of her mouth. With her luck and the direction of her thoughts lately, she might get plastered, attempt her best impression of Laura from Infinite Stratos, and declare to everyone in a terrible German accent that she was going to make José her bride. The thought was horrifying, yet she couldn't help snickering. When the others stared at her in question, Jackie just shook her head. No way was she explaining that.

Jackie shook her head to clear it, then decided to start her observations. She was well aware that she wasn't the only one interested in José, and she didn't figure it mattered much. She was far more interested in seeing if José exhibited a preference for any of them, and that was just one reason she had hoped for an opportunity to interact away from work. His position might prevent him from expressing blatant interest, but perhaps she could notice subtle clues. She was admittedly awful at that, having always been caught off guard on the few occasions she'd been asked out since she'd completely missed the signs beforehand, but she was determined to try.

Jackie also wondered what José wanted out of life, and how closely his vision mirrored her own. Her desires were simple. She wanted a job that aligned with her talents and interests that covered the bills with enough left over to save something and occasionally travel, even if travel just meant camping in a tent at a lake. She saw herself in a modest home that she could add cozy touches to and fill with music and a couple of cats and a dog, where she could entertain family and friends.

She wanted to indulge in her loves of reading trashy romance and fanfic, You Tube and anime binge watching, playing Mario/Crash Bandicoot/Sonic/Banjo Kazooie, and baking. She also wanted time and energy to volunteer in the community, and to take classes to learn how to knit, make pottery, and belly dance. She assumed José didn't plan on taking belly dancing lessons, but she wondered if his ambitions as a whole were compatible with hers.

Finally, she wondered about how their temperaments might blend. She was mostly cheerful, with low level anxiety a near constant presence that quietly hummed in the background. When she didn't take care of herself, the humming became louder until she dealt with it. It was rare that she got depressed, and when she did it tended to be mild and short lived. They hadn't really discussed it, but her impression was that he was slightly less cheerful overall, stressed under certain circumstances, and prone to deeper, more enduring bouts of depression.

She had two theories. Their mental health could create a negative cycle where the issues of one triggered the other. She was rooting for her second theory. She thought of how in Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, Ned pairing the negative classmate with a happy one didn't make the negative one happier and actually made the happy one negative. It was the math teacher that suggested pairing him with an equally negative person, and that was very successful. Taking turns providing support and true empathy might create a positive cycle.

She needed the answers to these questions. It determined whether she made changes, and she really resisted change unless she had a strong sense it was worth it. If he didn't seem mutually interested, if his goals weren't in line with hers, or she felt they would hurt rather than help each other, it was pretty simple. Things could continue on as they had, even if it would take time to see him only as a work friend. On the other hand, if things looked more favorable, then she'd implement the necessary changes to remove the obstacles, and make her move. She didn't have much hope of getting her data that night, but maybe tomorrow would prove more successful.

Once dinner was over, José and three of the ladies decided to linger a bit longer for dessert and more wine for the women and hard cider for José. Jackie excused herself to make her escape back to the room. She didn't figure that she'd be able to learn much more that night and she was ready to be alone to process the information she had already gathered. Plus, she could get a bit overwhelmed in groups larger than 4 people. Since she was soft spoken, people tended to talk over her, making her feel less than, made her feel invisible. She tried not to take it personally. She assumed it was because they didn't realize she was talking, and not because what she said didn't matter to them.

Adding to the difficulties was that Jackie knew she should have tried interacting with José sooner. If she had attempted the journey to start a genuine friendship when she had first met him, talking would come a lot easier now. She could converse easily with Chris, Jason, and Mitch because she felt zero attraction to them. With José, she might find a few things to say- usually about anime because that had felt like the safest topic the whole time, the one least likely to start rumors, so it felt natural to fall back on it. But then she'd find herself being quiet, choosing instead to listen to him interact with others and stare at him like a besotted idiot. Still, she really wanted to work past her shyness with him, and she'd hang out in big groups every night if that's what it took.

Jackie considered it, recognized she was a bit drained right now, and that might taint the interpretation of her precious data. She decided she ought to wait until she'd regained her equilibrium. Hopefully sleep would help. Only sleep wasn't coming. Her brain was buzzing from too much stimulation. She needed a distraction.

Luckily, she'd brought her Roku. Jackie had thought maybe she could talk José into trying a few of the dubbed episodes of My Hero Academia to see if it changed anything about the experience. For now, she wanted something that would hold her attention, but didn't want to watch something new. Odds were her thoughts would occasionally get away from her, and she'd miss something. She could opt for an anime. That gave her at least 43 rewatch options. She just wasn't really in the mood for any. Normally Buffy was a safe bet for keeping her focus, but the goal was to wind down and sleep, not binge watch.

Jackie knew what would really relax her, but she was hesitant. Being in a shared room, she might get interrupted. Besides, she had developed an unusual habit over time. She no longer let herself fantasize about someone she was interested in while on solo expeditions. She found it made it easier to maintain composure around them. It was too easy for her get flustered when the person in front of her contributed to her orgasms, without any actual involvement on their part.

It also worked as a good gauge of the level of her interest. If she felt guilty about fantasizing about someone else, it was a sign that she needed to evaluate the situation. She sometimes got around her guilt by using thoughts of men who reminded her of the person in question, but even that hadn't worked lately. Her solution had been to think of someone similar during the build up, then think his name during the climax.

But since she was hesitant to make that a habit, lest she accidentally make herself more awkward around him, what was usually at least a daily activity if not three times daily had dwindled. Porn was a fall back, but it just didn't always inspire her. That reminded her. She should probably temporarily remove the adult private channel from her Roku before watching anything on it around the others to prevent any awkward situations.

Jackie had been too distracted in the shower earlier to notice if it had a handheld showerhead. She had just decided to get out of the sofa bed and check when everyone returned. Issue decided for her, she turned over for the umpteenth time, feeling very frustrated for more than one reason. Sleep stayed away for an annoyingly long time. She reached 3 am, then 4, before finally falling into dreamless slumber.

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Jackie hadn't slept well, but somehow that created a miraculous situation- she didn't have the energy to overthink things, so she didn't. While the previous night she had obsessed over how José acted towards other women vs how he acted with her, did she learn enough data, how could she try to get more, was there information to support considering the possibility of having feelings, yada yada yada...

She realized she had been approaching this whole situation wrong. The truth was, she had known everything she needed to about José from almost day one. She knew she respected him, that he was worthy of that respect, that she was attracted to him, that she cared about his health and happiness, and that she was comfortable with him- or had been until she had started worrying about what others thought, and trying to figure out what she should or shouldn't feel. In her attempt to be a fucking computer, Miss Dipshit forgot that feelings are not facts or data and hence it is pretty damn stupid to logic one's way through them.

Sometime before she had ever met him, Jackie had stopped being completely herself. Thanks to being harped on for being too loud, too excited, too animated or silly, speaking too plainly, feeling too deeply, being somehow both too selfish AND too selfless, and so many other criticisms, she had gotten into the habit of acting smaller in almost every way. She was more herself with Jacob, her Grandpa, and Lena, but even then, she held something of herself back with each of them.

She had been so worried in college about accommodating Lena's faith that she had sacrificed listening to the music she liked, watching the movies she wanted or watching basketball games if it was Sunday, and had censored most of her language. With her Grandpa, she felt she had to hide how much it hurt her when he spoke so matter of factly about death and acted like it didn't really matter to him, but when yet another member of the family died he started withholding I love yous in an effort to shield himself from maybe losing someone else. As much as she adored Jacob, sometimes she just wanted time to herself, but when he demanded her attention she felt guilty if she exerted her right to solitude.

With José, she hadn't felt any of those limitations until she herself had created the conditions for them to exist by overthinking. So clearly all she had to do was make an adjustment to return to feeling that free with him again. She also needed data of a different nature, but it could wait for now. They were at a resort having fun, after all.

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"Is Deanna here?" "Deanna's off today. Is there something I can help you with?" Hmmm...Jackie was a bit more comfortable with Deanna, but she supposed she could ask Josie. "When you have a chance, could I talk to you in private?"

Jackie went about her day. She took care of the price changes in jewelry, dusted the cases, sanitized all surfaces by the register. She stocked gift cards, covered breaks and lunches. She also acted more normal around José than she had in awhile. Maybe she hadn't been as confident asking if she could join he and Mitch at lunch as she would have preferred, and she had slightly fallen back into a bit of shyness. But she was proud that she had expressed her desire to join him and had created an opportunity to interact with him in a more natural way.

A bit after Jackie clocked back in, Josie asked her how she was doing. After saying she would be great if she could shake her cold, Jackie inquired how much longer until Josie headed out for the day. Since the response was, "Soon, why?", Jackie repeated her request to speak privately.

"Is the cafe okay, or does this need to be a closed door discussion?"

"The cafe should be fine."

"How's this table?"

"Works for me."

"What's going on?"

"I have a hypothetical question."

"Okay.."

"If I worked with someone, and my feelings for them have become more than just friendly, but rules exist that prevent anything from happening because of their position, if I wanted it to even be a possibility, would a department change be the way to go, or would it be a matter of changing jobs entirely?"

"Are you talking about someone on my level of higher?"

"COS"

"A COS? So an hourly and an hourly...Ok. You see where this thing goes. Do what you will. Explore it and see if it becomes something serious."

"Nothing has happened. I mean, I don't even know if he's interested-"

"Like I said, just explore things. If and when it becomes something you two want to take public, then yes, you two should discuss which one of you would switch departments and we'd talk then. I don't need to know anything about the middle. But I expect that whatever it is, you keep it out of here. That you act like adults, that you're professional."

"Right. And if he ever went for a promotion, say to become a team lead?"

"That would be another situation where you two discuss it and figure out which one of you would change departments. Now, if you're talking about either of you being promoted to my level, that WOULD require the other to leave to work somewhere else."

"Of course. Okay, thank you."

That hadn't been what Jackie expected to hear at all. She'd thought she had to know everything, make all the decisions now. Somehow, that clicked the rest of her thoughts into place. The biggest question was whether she could do as Josie asked and keep things separate. She immediately recognized that yes, yes she could. After all, this whole time she had a work persona and so did José. Her feelings had never interfered with how she treated him as a supervisor. They had only been an issue when she had been fretting, but she still did her job. Plus, she had spent almost a year and a half hiding her interest, including from herself. If somehow José did reciprocate her interest, surely it wouldn't be that hard to continue to hide her feelings at work if she could be open about them in private. After all, it didn't matter if others knew how she felt. It only mattered that he did.