Senpai's Harem Pt. 03

And if he didn't reciprocate...well, that would suck, but she would still embrace her feelings rather than keep fighting them, while respecting his. Right now, all Jackie really wanted was to continue to develop their friendship and let whatever was going to happen, happen. So when she went on last break and found him sitting with Alice, she didn't ask for permission to join them, she just did . She didn't worry if she was welcome. And she abandoned the shyness. Even when Alice left the breakroom and they were alone, she didn't freeze up, and she was happy. She just enjoyed him, and hoped for more opportunities to do so. In the meantime, she proudly accepted her place in José's harem.

*******************************************************

Jackie was a bundle of anticipatory energy lately. Ever since she had stopped fighting her feelings for José and embraced them, she had been nearly beside herself wanting to confess them. She had hoped to see him on Monday night for the football game, even planning out what she would wear. She had borrowed a v neck tank of her mothers that was tasteful but still bared a hint more cleavage than her normal clothing. Plus she had a brand new red lip stain to break out for the occasion. She had even decided to loosen up and get food and a glass of cider.

Alas, he had said the group wouldn't be getting together after all. Then when he mentioned being in need of a game of Magic the Gathering, she had proposed he might play with her and Jacob, thinking that if he came to her house it might provide a few moments of privacy. But he didn't reply. There was talk that everyone might get together Friday, but she was trying not to get her hopes up.

Jackie had laid out her feelings in a fanfic that she sent him, but despite the fact that he asked for the damn thing, he didn't seem to be interested in actually reading it. As far as she knew, he was at most halfway through. José said he was busy and she was trying really hard to believe it, but she felt her patience stretching. She was afraid one day she'd snap at him just to read the fucking fanfic already. Before that happened, she figured it'd be better to bypass the writing and just tell him what it said face to face. So by God, if the opportunity came up and it felt right, she was going for it.

Jackie had been trying to figure out the best way to tell José that she...what was the best way to describe it? "Liked him" didn't express the feeling strongly enough. " Adored him" was closer, but even that was off. Adored was too close to adorable, and while he often did things that were adorable- like using a shopping cart to glide and pretend to be Yuri from Yuri on Ice- that was just one of his many appealing qualities. If she had to narrow it down to only one word...smitten, maybe? She mulled the word, then Googled it. "Deeply affected with or struck by strong feelings of attraction, affection or infatuation". She did feel all of those things. Yes, she was smitten with him. She was a smitten kitten.

But how to tell him? She considered going the casual route. "Hey, I like you. If you like me, too, that's great. If not, that's cool, too. Just wanted you to know." Yeah, no. She'd just established "like" was too weak a word, and while she would handle it with grace if he rejected her, she wouldn't feel nearly that breezy about it. She also realized with some chagrin that the three other times she told a man she was interested in him, that was almost exactly what she said. For them, it had been a true reflection of what she felt. It didn't matter that two had been gay. It was fortunate that all of them hadn't been interested.

Jackie didn't include the dick from Arizona in her count. She hadn't been interested in him at the time. She had merely told an old work friend she had reconnected with on Facebook who was disappointed over a breakup that she'd had a small crush on him years ago in an effort to remind him that there would be other women who wanted him. Then when he said he'd wished he'd known back then and confided that he had admired her "pretty blue eyes"...She liked to think that if she hadn't just been rejected for the third time, she would have been smarter. That she wouldn't have wasted almost two years on someone who was an absolute ass to her, who used her. She guessed it really didn't matter. Luckily she'd eventually wised up and hadn't moved. If she had, she wouldn't be where she was. She would have never met José. Regardless of whether he ever became more, she was just thankful that he was part of her life.

Right. José. Jackie could take the brazen approach. She'd thought more than once that he was a bit like Aizawa from My Hero Academia. Like Aizawa, she'd thought his mood might improve if he got laid on a regular basis. She supposed she could say that and offer herself for the job. But that wasn't any better than her first idea. One, she didn't want to minimize his feelings- obviously there were issues sex couldn't solve. Two, while she certainly would want sex and lots of it eventually, she thought a natural progression made sense.

There were so many other intimate things she had never done. There was going on dates. Groping over clothes. Dry humping. Hand jobs. Fingering. Oral. Lots of things most people did by age 18 that she had yet to experience.

Finally, yes, she lusted for him. But she didn't just want him for sex. She wanted conversation. Companionship. She wanted to spoil him. To cook for him. To stock her fridge and cabinets with Woodchuck Cider and Cherry Garcia ice cream and other things he liked. To empathize with his worries and do things to make his life easier. To rub his feet or back when they hurt. To play nurse when he was sick. To have boisterous game nights with friends, and cozy nights with just the two of them snuggled up watching TV.

She wasn't afraid to want these things because it was José. Plus, given how many ways he had gone above and beyond to help her and others at work, she suspected that he liked to spoil his partner, too. Relationships just worked better when there was balance, and that was what she wanted with him in the end. A balanced relationship.

Jackie briefly reconsidered borrowing the Laura approach. "José, I'm going to make you my bride!" Threatening him with marriage would be a good way to scare him, sure, but not a great way to ask him out. Plus, out of its proper context, it was weird. She wasn't a woman using a foreign language and mixing up words by accident. In this case, it would imply that she would be dominant in the relationship and he would be submissive. She wanted them to be equals in the relationship, though. She did want to try D/s in the bedroom, and although she suspected she was submissive, she was willing to try both roles.

Hmmm...She had an idea of the perfect thing to say. Now she just needed a moment where they weren't at work, they had even a modicum of privacy, and to feel the timing was right.