All Comments on 'Serena's Inheritance'

A very nice romance story. I almost stopped reading it on the first page. I continued and started liking the characters more. I know you had to start with an introduction and build up, but it seemed off to me. When I got to know the characters more, I was interested in the story more and enjoyed reading it. I would have liked more romance between Duane and Serena like them going out on dates and discovering each other. Thanks for your time and imagination.

Not your typical Literotica story, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. There is nothing about this story that would preclude mainstream publishing, and I would suggest you look into it. You will probably be criticized on here for the lack of sexual content, but ignore that. Sexual tension does not have to be displayed by moans, groans, and thrusts in every case. I think you chose the right path for this tale. You have gained a follower.

Great story. I was hoping you would end with the birth of Serena's daughter who would, of course, have Maddie for her middle name!

Lovely romance!

5

In later years, high school that it, it meant being able to go someplace where I really did want to be.

Sweet story, Mr. Fiction. And the sad death of the dog really kicked me in the feels.

I am agreeing with a few other commenters. I thought the first page seemed awkward and disjointed. I almost stopped reading. Then the story smoothed out and I found myself carried along as the tale unfolded, not particularly exciting, but sweet and and intriguing. I don't often give 5 stars, but in spite of that first page, I gave this one a 5.

Loved it!! Thank you very much.

Heartbreaking and beautiful but very sweet. Lovely read, thank you so much for posting! 5 very well deserved stars :)

So they're 30 now. Not too late to start a family, but they'd best get on with it. Just a per personal observation, of course.

in the last 60 yrs I have had to bury more than i can count. each was a family member to me. the first 1 was called Lindy after a girl friend. they have all been sorely missed.

It ended nicely, but somehow I was left flat. Not worth dissecting it, but this should have had a slow build-up to 5* rating. At the end I struggled to give it 3* and felt very little about the people and what happened to them Maybe it was all the cliche traumatic events...I don't know, but 3* is what felt right. And no more of this author's stories for me.

Don’t take it too bad. He always scores too low.

An idea for a better plot twist and ending: Duane got the idea that HE was the half brother and that’s why he took off. Years later it becomes apparent that Auden was the half brother and convinced Duane to come home. You’d need to work on the background story a bit, but it’d make Duane a more appealing character. As it is, I find I don’t like him too much.

Still a dick move on his part. The fact that he was/wasn’t her brother has nothing to do with most of the lost years.

And far too much tragedy to rain on a single character.

3 or 4 stars. Could have been better.

A good story, but way too much tragedy for one person, a lot of inconsistencies too, both parents dying in aircraft crashes, an aunt that dies of natural causes very shortly after her mother, Serena’s mother not leaving any money to her illegitimate Son or to any of the charities she felt so strongly about, additionally why was Serena continuing to see “Markus” when she felt nothing at all for him, thus leading him to believe otherwise?

Sorry, not my favourite, but thanks for writing and posting it.