Sex, Lies and Videotape Ch. 01

"No, I definitely wasn't her type apparently."

"And what type would that be?"

"It turned out that Taylor liked athletic guys, big guys, football players."

"Someone like Mike?"

"Yeah, he was definitely her type. I'm surprised she told you about him."

"We're married you know, we do talk to each other."

"Yeah, of course. Taylor met Mike about a month after we started college. It was the first proper party we all went to, there were five us going together. Me and Tim, and the three girls, Rhian, Becky and Taylor. I'd been doing my best to sweet talk Taylor into going out with me, I'd already asked her out for a date twice already by then, both times she said that she wasn't looking to be in a relationship yet, that she just wanted to be friends. Then we get to the party, about half an hour in and Mike and a few other players from the football team show up. The moment he came over and spoke to Taylor, I could tell she was into him."

I sat quietly listening, drinking my coffee as Ben continued.

"Within ten minutes he had his tongue down her throat, groping her in front of all of us. I didn't even know that she was into black guys. I then figured that might be why she rejected my advances."

I still sat there listening, not saying anything, just waiting for him to continue his story.

"So, apparently Mike popped her cherry later that night, according to Rhian anyway. I had no idea she was still a virgin, but for her to give it away so quickly to the first football jock she hooked up with should've told me all I needed to know."

"What are you trying to say Ben, that's she's a slut because she didn't fuck you? That she didn't want to give her virginity to some guy thirsting over her in class every day?"

"No, that she had a certain type of guy that she likes, big athletic guys, and I didn't fit into that category, that's all. I'd never call her a slut, not even after all those videos we did."

"Alright, keep going."

"Well, they started dating but I knew that he was cheating on her almost from the start. I didn't want to say anything because it would've made me look desperate or jealous."

"Were you jealous? Watching him being with the girl you loved? That had to hurt a bit."

"Yeah, it did hurt. And I was more than a little bit jealous too. But I did my best to pretend I was okay with it all, I didn't think they would last because Taylor was bound to find out about Mike's cheating sooner or later."

"You wanted to be the guy she would seek some comfort from after then, huh? Her rebound guy."

"Yeah, something like that. I know it makes me look bad, but the more I was around her, the more I fell in love with her. It's hard when you know that the girl you've fallen for just wants to fuck some hung football jock, and that wasn't me."

"So, what happened next?"

"Rhian found out about Mike's cheating and told Taylor, but that was like a few months later. You know Rhian, don't you? She went to your wedding, she's one of Taylor's best friends along with Becky and Tim."

"Yeah, we've met a bunch of times. And I know Becky and Tim too, we went to their wedding a few months back."

"Yeah, I was there too, I saw you with Taylor there, you both looked happy. I kept my distance though from the both of you, under strict orders from Becky."

"That was thoughtful of her, so, did Taylor break up with Mike when she found out?"

"No, they stayed together for a few more weeks before she finally broke up with him. Although she did sleep with him a few more times even after that."

"So, you didn't get to be the rebound guy then?"

"Nah, she went straight into the arms of one of his teammates. That pissed Mike off a bit, but Taylor threw him a few mercy fucks every now and then to keep him happy."

"You're not painting a very positive picture of my wife here, I thought you said you didn't want to hurt her or our marriage? Yet you're basically calling her a slut even if you say you'd never call her that."

"I'm just telling you what happened, if you think her behavior was slutty, that's up to you. I was still madly in love with her though, so I was prepared to accept her for who she was."

"And who was she Ben? Stop sugar-coating what you're trying to tell me with this bullshit, and why you sent me those videos. Get to your fucking point."

"Look, don't get upset, please. I'm just trying to give you an idea of what was going on before we got together. I'm not judging her for anything she did or for who she dated. It's just that I was in love with her, having to watch her date different guys was hurting me inside, but I still loved her."

"Okay but move this along."

"Alright, well after Mike she dated a number of the other players in the football team too, not at the same time of course. She seemed to always be going out with one of the guys from the team over the next two years until we were in our senior year."

"So, all of these guys she dated, were they always football players?"

"Yes. I was the first guy she dated or slept with that wasn't there on an athletic scholarship. Like I said, she had her type which was the big athletic jock types, and mainly black athletes too. She did date two white guys from the football team for a short while, but apart from me they were the only ones. All the other guys she dated or slept with were black players, although most of the football team were black, so I don't think that really mattered for her. Just that they were big and athletic jock types."

"Just get on with it, so in your final year you got your shot, huh?"

"Well, Taylor pretty much stopped dating anyone not long after we started our fourth year, partly because she was super focused on her studies but also because she was starting to get a reputation, some of the other girls were getting a bit nasty."

"Really, a reputation for what?"

"That she was a gold digger, trying out the whole team while trying to find the right player that would be going into the NFL draft. It was all bullshit of course, the other girls were just jealous that she was better looking than them, that she got her pick of which players she wanted to date while they got her leftovers. So, she just stopped dating anyone all together."

"Is this where she realizes that her ever present simp is the right guy for her?"

"Come on, you don't have to be mean about it, but you're probably right. Eventually our coffee dates turned into proper dates, it took months for me just to get a kiss out of her. Meanwhile I was sure she was still occasionally fucking one or two of the players on the quiet."

"What, after you two began dating?"

"Yeah, although it's hard to define when we officially became a couple. From when Taylor said we started dating, I don't think she slept with anyone else after that, but in my mind, we were already dating for about two months before then. I just think it took her a while to give them up and admit to herself that we were an actual couple."

"Okay, so you two are finally a couple, now what? You decide that she needed to keep her jock boyfriends on the side and started filming them?"

"No, we were a couple for almost a year before any of that began. We started out great but as time went on, I knew she wasn't as happy as I'd hope she'd be, not in bed anyway. As we got closer to the one-year mark for us, I thought she might break up with me. While we got along great everywhere else, I knew she still craved the sex she used to get when the lights went out."

"Did you ask her that or was it just your own insecurities speaking?"

"I'd watched her date jock after jock for over three years before we got together, I was sure she wanted the kind of sex she had with them way more than the sex we were having."

"How do you know what kind of sex she had with the other guys? Maybe none of them were porn stars either."

"Nah, I've heard her fucking a number of times with different players. She spent the last two years at college living off campus with Rhian, sometimes I'd be over there hanging out with them watching a movie when she would head off to her bedroom with which ever player she was dating at the time. The walls were pretty thin, we got to hear it all and then some. She definitely loved having sex, it just never sounded anything like that with me after we got together later."

"So, you thought if she started fucking some buff football jock type again then you'd be able to stay with her?"

"I can't say it didn't cross my mind, but it was Taylor that brought it up, not me."

"Really, she asked you if you'd mind if she got her groove on with someone else while you two were still together?"

"It didn't happen quite like that, I knew that when we went out to clubs, she was always attracting attention from some of the big athletic type guys. I don't know whether she was giving them a look, or if they were just trying their luck, but she seemed to always be a bit of a magnet for these guys. They would come over and hit on her or ask her for a dance right in front of me, like I wasn't even there most of the time."

"Did that piss you off that they disrespected you like that? Did you say anything to them?"

"I tried a few times, but these guys were so arrogant, they'd look at me with a smirk, like they were saying 'who the fuck are you'. It's not like I could've beaten them up or anything, one punch I would've been on my ass."

"Did you talk with her about it? Let her know how you felt?"

"Yeah, she said she wasn't interested in anyone else, that she cannot stop guys from coming over to talk with her. She didn't chat with them for too long or go and dance with them when they asked, she always stayed with me."

"So, I'm not seeing the issue here then. Sounds like she was being a good girlfriend. We both know she's attractive, that she's always going to get attention when she goes out to clubs. What were you expecting?"

"Well, it started out like that, but then when we continued going out, I'd notice she would take a bit longer going to the restrooms or when she went to the bar, sometimes I would see her talking to one of the guys that tried to chat her up earlier before making her way back. Or if she was up dancing with Rhian or Becky and some guy started to dance with her, she wouldn't move him on or come back to me, she would stay dancing with him."

"Still not seeing the problem here."

"Then one night we were out, she was supposed to be going to the restroom, I then went myself. When I came out of the men's she was in the hallway with a guy that tried hitting on her in front of me earlier that night, they were kissing. They were that heavy into it she didn't even notice me walking past her so I could go back to our table."

I just nodded at Ben, I wasn't sure what to say to him at this point.

"The rest of the night was uncomfortable, I could tell she was looking for him when she was sitting at our table, then when she would see him out on the dance floor, Taylor would go and dance with Rhian or Becky so that she could dance with him as well. I could see this coming like a slow-motion train wreck. It was only a matter of time before she'd start sleeping with one of these guys, and I'd be gone."

"So, what did you do?"

"At first I wasn't sure what to do, I contemplated breaking up with her to give her the freedom she wanted, or I could talk with her about what was going on, try to get her to not do it."

"And?"

"Well, before I got the chance, Taylor said she wanted to talk to me about us. She said she wasn't sure where our relationship was going, that she didn't think it was going to work. That's when I mentioned that I had seen her kissing that guy at the club a week earlier, that I knew she was missing the sex she used to have before we started dating."

I nodded as he continued.

"She said she was sorry for what happened, that she did love me but that also I was right, she did miss the sex she used to have. That's when she asked me if there was a chance that we could stay together, even if she met up with another guy every now and then."

I just looked at Ben with raised eyebrows. Taylor really asked him to be her cuckold?

"At first, I told her I needed to think about it. About a week later, I told her I could accept it, as long as I was there too. If it was going to work for us, she needed to involve me, she couldn't just go out and meet other guys and start fucking them. Sooner or later, they'd want her to be more than just a fuck buddy. If we did it together as a couple, they'd have to accept that she was with me while they still got to have their fun."

"So, she agreed then I'm assuming. How did the filming start?"

"The first couple of times I took some quick clips while they were having fun. She loved watching them back later, and so did I. It quickly evolved by about the third hook-up that I would video the whole time while they fucked."

"And you were okay with that?"

"Strangely, yeah. I mean, if you'd have asked me six months earlier if I would've accepted that, I would have said no, absolutely not. But it was the only way I could see that we could stay together, that sooner or later she was going to go back to old habits whether she's with me or not."

"Alright, you said earlier that you sent me these videos to help both Taylor and me, to help save our marriage. Is this the part where you say that she needs more cock to be happy and if I don't accept that like you did then our marriage will fail? Even though she walked away from what you guys were doing?"

"No, it's close but that's not exactly what I'm saying. She walked away in large part because of the guilt she was feeling for doing this became too much. She started to believe that she was just being a slut, that she was being cruel to me. All of the society norms were telling her that she shouldn't be doing this, that we shouldn't be doing this. In the end she wanted to walk away believing that if she could just go back to having a normal relationship with someone then everything would be alright, that she'd no longer feel guilty for what she'd been doing."

"So, what are you trying to help her with? The feeling of guilt you think that she's been carrying around?"

"Yeah. That she shouldn't give a fuck about what boring conformist people and their boring conformist lives think about how she chooses to live her life. That trying to please those people will only dig herself into a deeper hole eventually. She needs to accept herself for who she is, whether or not she's even doing those things anymore, she needs to not feel guilty about it."

"And where do you fit into all of this?"

"Look, there's no way we are ever going to get back together. I remind her all the things she's been running away from. I'm a big part of the guilt she feels, for what she thinks she made me go through. But I chose to go through it with her. Sure, at the beginning I may have reluctantly agreed, but once we were on that journey, I tried my best to love it as much as she did."

"So, you only have altruistic goals to rid Taylor of her self-imposed slut shaming, is that it?"

"Roger, she needs to be okay with the fact that she craves the excitement with these guys. It took a year of us being together before she started to slip back into wanting to be with other guys, how long have you two been together for now? About a year, right?"

"What, are you saying she can't help herself? That she going to start slutting herself about if she doesn't what? Admit that she's a slut? You're making no sense."

"No, that she craves the excitement that being with those guys gives her. She needs to accept that she'll always crave that, she can't just deny it and hide those feelings away. Sooner or later opportunities will come up and if she keeps denying her feelings, it's likely she'll end up acting on them because craving that excitement again will become too much. She'll succumb to it and then you're fucked. Your marriage will be over."

"So, if she accepts that she craves the excitement as you put it, then what?"

"Then if she doesn't feel guilty about it, she can work her way through it, she can talk to you about it. I'm not saying at all that she should sleep with other guys again, the opposite actually. But if she goes on denying the way she feels, or carrying the guilt around for feeling that way, it'll probably end your relationship like it did mine. Also, that some of that guilt she feels, she might start associating that with you as well. That she's denying what she's craving because of you."

I sat there shaking me head. He wants me to confront Taylor to get her to admit that she likes fucking buff guys, to not feel guilty about that, so that she then doesn't go fucking buff guys. I'd heard enough.

"I have to get back to work, nice meeting you Ben but this will be the last time we meet. Don't call me or send me anymore videos or notes or worldly advice. I appreciate that you think you're helping Taylor, but enough, okay. I want you to stop now. It's over, got it?"

"This shit will happen to you too if you ignore my advice, Roger."

"I said enough. I'm not you, I never have been or will be like you. Taylor craved those guys because you weren't one of them, but that's not me. I'm all she needs, she's happy, we're happy. Just because you couldn't satisfy her don't assume I can't. Like I said, we're done. Don't call me anymore, or next time I won't be so pleasant, do you understand me?"

"Okay, I tried I guess."

I walked out of the deli and back across the road to city hall, this meeting had gone on longer than I hoped it would. All it turned out to be, was that my wife's former cuckold believes that she can only be happy if she admits to herself that she's a slutty hotwife that craves cock once again. What fucking bullshit.

To be continued.