by angelicrose
Though there were some parts of the story that I have to admit that I didn't like, it still kept me reading, the entire time I was on edge wanting to know what would happen next. PLEASEEEEE keep it coming, don't let this end here. It's too good.
I know how hard it is to pull something out of your spirit and post it on here for strangers to read and judge... but I'm afraid this story seriously lacks punctuation, delineated speech (in quotation marks), verbs of almost any tense, and reads like one long run-on sentence. From one author to another - consider having an independent person (preferably one who doesn't know you so won't worry about hurting your feelings) proof-read and give you feedback on your work before publishing it. I had to give up after one page, sad to say, I wanted to enjoy it!
I enjoyed this story very much. It does need some grammatical work, but that aside it was very good. Would love to have more of this story to read.