All Comments on 'Sex with my Ex-'

Are the children his?

What di she expect would happen. How dumb

3*. Good story but rushed.

Part 2?

Once she gets a lawyer and starts fighting, which she most likely will, it won’t go so well for the”hero”

Hopefully, when he had the kids checked for STDs he did a DNA test as well. Not unusual for some chicks to be hung up on a loser Ex, especially if he was her first. Not sure what the psych damage is that causes it.

Just a sad story with no resolution. What was the point in any of it?

Okay, the very first thing AFTER he realized she'd been having unprotected sex all this time is, "ARE THE KIDS EVEN MINE?' But no mention of a DNA test. That was a huge overlook especially all the other investigation he did.

Your switching back and forth between point of view added little to the story except what a fucked up bitch she was.

“Wallah”? Good lord.

"You guys seem like the perfect couple and she's always showing signs of affection towards you ...." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

What a completely ridiculous phrase.

As if you knew the life, the secrets, and the intimacy of a couple??

Some authors lack a lot of maturity and reflection.

I am certain that DNA tests would have been done while she was gone too. Possibly Greg would have a small encounter with a mugger soon. After all, it is New York City. This gets a 4, mostly because you are relatively new to writing here and it wasn’t the more common grammatical nightmare that often is seen now. Try to put at least one new or unusual twist in your next story and good luck.

Write a story u fucking twit! Not a rambling drunken monotype !!! All over the place! No question of even if the kids were his….such a stupid writer…Seem alike u wrote when high on some grass !!

because shes one of those new people whos entitled, shes one of those kids that never got bveat like a bunch of the young people today that thinks the world owes them something , they even demand to be called the right name ofmthe twisted bullshit they think they are, they need to be beat more than the entitled pussies

Why have sex with an infected cheater? Stupid.....

"wallah"? Perhaps you were looking for "voila"? Odd thing that he never did any paternity tests.

The honest truth is she will be fine. There may be joint custody, but she can always cut that off by moving out of state, most judges allow it for improved income. I have seen it in my practice for 30 years. Her parents will either come on board or loss the grand kids. He filed, therefore most judges will place the burden on him and there will be counseling, it is part of the process. The problem with the VD is it is a he-said-she-said so wont make it into court anyway. The truth is the courts care only about the kids, it is not fairness that is important it is the kids. They will hit his income harder and do all they can to keep stability. Just the way it is.

Nice story. What a crazy bitch. The only thing he did no do was to check the kids DNA.

abrupt ending

Why would he lick its fucking cunt knowing she's a diseased slut. I wonder as well why he wouldn't check the kids DNA. Seems obvious, since she's been a slag from the start of their marriage.

Well this was dumb and poorly written. It was difficult following all the changes in character.

Gave a 5 to encourage you to keep writing.

Issues

1) He did not even think about DNA testing the kids. BIG omission. Paternity is an issue.

2) LONG road up and tiny road down. Rushed finish.

I critique hoping to help the next story to not have those issues. Don't take it personally.

His first Doctor should have told him testing on the baby would be mandatory. Also as 300WSM said the first thought he should have had is do a DNA test.

And those imaginary women just keep getting punished. That’s okay. I’m sure you feel better about yourself, at least.

So, what happened next? He might ask, but he's not getting custody.

\

How did she explain all these absences to her boss?

Is this husband the dumbest piece-of-shit that ever walked the earth? He finds out he has an STD. It could only come from his wife. So he has oral sex with her... again, while she is still infected. He must really hate himself. Then he's so stupid he doesn't bother phone his wife's alibi, George and Sandy, until half way through the week. Oh no, he finds out finally that she wasn't with them and never has been, on those trips.

That she has been cheating on him all through-out the marriage. So why didn't he immediately get the kids DNA tested. It will take some time for the results but the tests could start. Plus, why didn't he get that youngest child test for the STD as well as soon as he found out he was infected BEFORE she was born. Instead he waits a week until his wife is away.

Seriously, how does he even get out of bed each day, he's so "mentally impaired".

I think the true tragedy here is naming a kid "Merriam."

Nice enough first chapter but where's the rest of the story. Surely this isn't the whole thing?

Like 300wsm said - what about the kids? DNA test for certain.

HALF A STORY, HALF A SCORE

I have to agree with the other commenters. You missed a big plot hole by not addressing possible paternity issues. He should have had DNA tests run on the kids.

I also agree that it was a bad choice to cut it off before the full aftermath was laid out. The people who enjoy BTB stories tend to be about the aftermath and the fetish crowd don't like the husband not capitulating to the cheating whore, so you kind of failed both audiences.

There's not enough for a second chapter, but maybe a revision, such as the paternity and the baby's health. If you're not going to answer the question "Why?" you really shouldn't end the story with that question.

Paternity test would have seemed obvious to everyone but the author, especially if they were screwing before she got pregnant.

Classic LW story with pretty solid narrative. Missed the DNA testing since she was doing it their whole marriage. We are also missing the aftermath and consequences. 4.1*

Just OK. Old story line that has been been told many times on Lit. 3 stars

Ooo. Lovely pathos! 5 stars and I’d love a second chapter for fallout and the possibility of reconciliation (failed or successful).

Crap half finished ditty

Good bones of a story, but so many holes need filling in and it needs a more definitive ending. Fill in the plot holes, write a strong finish and repost it.

You've written only six stories so far. It takes time, and effort. A decent plot idea, but the execution is lacking any credibility. Your character has to have a split personality to be that loyal and loving and convincing, for years, then turn into the dumbest self destructive whore in the world. No way a monster like this bitch can deceive an intelligent man, for all those years, unless he's in a coma. Keep trying, and pay a visit to the human nature store. These characters are from another planet.

Pretty much a cut and paste standard cheating wife story. I found it interesting that the author never broached the subject of paternity of the children. 3*

The writing was really messy. Logics were shaky at best. Why would John perform oral on Chris after that diagnosis? What about paternity? 2*

Very, very strange and ridiculous. If she is so obsessed with Greg, or if she is so subject to his influence (I still didn't understand what it was - "painful attachment" or "depressing submission")? But, nevertheless, the question is this - how did Greg allow her to bring the divorce process to an end, while completely losing his wife's income and the unlimited opportunity to use her body? I would also like to hear the circumstances and thoughts of Chris at her first contact with Greg after the dissolution of their marriage. By the way, it remains unclear whether the first visit to NY took place before or after her wedding with John? And another question - why did her visits to Greg noticeably become more frequent and longer a year before the birth of her second child? The author, in a good idea of the plot - you left too many loose ends, hiding with impunity in Chris's obsession, as in the clouds of thick fog. That won't do....

This writer is writing thoughts with dialogue quotes instead of the 'normally used' single quotes, and without attribution, such as, ...I thought. As a reader, you wonder if he just came out with it and nailed her. Also, why would any sane man go down on an infected woman? Worse, sex, once you know a spouse is unfaithful, is considered tacit acceptance and forgiveness in most states. What's with the Mickey Mouse beating around the bush for her not to go? Confront her with the incontrovertible proof. Defying this clear logic is for the sole purpose of writing this whole silly story. And who flies on a paper ticket? Is this, like, 1998? Honestly, this whole thing felt like a badly written film.... or a story. C'mon. Just because you can write a certain story doesn't mean you should.

Please write a second chapter.

Definitely possible storyline as many cheat with their ex’s. Definitely should’ve had both kids checked for the std and dna as well

Good start to a story, but again rushed to an unfinished conclusion at the end. In the future, I’d suggest, you plan out your story to be a bit longer than you might first imagine. Thru to think of a logical conclusion that might be more satisfying to the most readers.. it’s still your story it should end the way you want it to, but playing it out a bit longer might engage fans a bit more.

Kind of feels like there should be more. John needs to check the DNA of both girls it might help when Chris tries to grab all his assets. Despite the last paragraph Chris is infatuated with Greg and will always answer his call even though she knows he's cheating on her. Some girls like men who treat them like shit she can never be trusted.

Not sure what the author was going for but this was a miss for me. The STD confirmation is an automatic divorce because the agreement was “one and done.” The lack of the DNA test is egregious to this story. The history of out of town trips for the entire marriage and confirmations from her boss that she had never been sent on a business trip demands to know the paternity. If none of the kids were his then the entire marriage was a sham and our MC could have it annulled so he could try to build a new life. The story was just too unfinished. 3 stars and that is generous.

The ending was weak.

this should be in the non-erotic category.

and I agree with others, the ending feels incomplete. Chris and Greg deserve painful consequences, and maybe some fresh STDs that aren't to easily treated.

Also don't understand why she cheated, there was nothing positive said about Greg in this story.

no ending? A good story has a beginning, middle and end. Basic short story 101

Definitely not finished. If moleman2787 doesn'T write a finish I hope he allows others to do it.

Not complete

Erm anyone wanting to know if the kids where even his and why he never asked or questioned that

I wasn’t finished reading yet…

This is an unfinished story if there was one. Why just stop without follow up. Are we to surmise that it follows all the other cheating spouse stories? Average is the best I can do for this story.

Thanks

ridicolous

What a poorly written sophomoric piece piece of crap.

more questions than answers , needs to be finished

Recitation without conclusion.

How did he like being a weekend Dad?

Aardie,

Probably not as much as you like being a cuckold.

Moral of the story for you young guys is, never take a woman seriously who has let any man treat her like this. Go ahead and fuck her, but she is not wife material.