by dpingjessie
I usually wouldn't condone cheating but, as this is a story and, from the point of view and attitudes; sounds as if the husband is a real dick (by separating wife from some friends). Husband away on his long business "trips" - yeah, right; in these stories he's probably playing around too.
Think it would make a better story if turned out that thee husband was "playing the field" and, child turned out to be "the other guy's" - just saying.
You spend a lot of time and effort describing the sex, but there never seem to be any people involved. Just another day at the zoo, watching the animals fuck. I guess you think describing all the different ways your characters fuck over each other and fuck up their lives is drama and suspense? You might as well tell stores of the exploits of drunk drivers. Who cares what is going on in the lives of immature self absorbed asses?
Keep the sex, but add in some stories about real people trying to live real lives. Most of your stories read like non-stop romps at a sex resort. Shallow, and boring.
Where does it say that hubby separated her from her friends? Maybe I missed it. If you mean the narrator then it looks like hubby was sniffing up the right tree. First chance he gets and the dude stabs him in the back.
Nothing new in this story...Old characters (cheaters, pretending to be best friends, because they don't know what being a friend means...), old plot (just a cheap fuck between two cheaters)...So the deserved rating 1*
Appreciated. I was going for something in this "series," and it obviously didn't work. Now I have a clearer idea with which to work.
Just to avoid any confusion, I'm not actually claiming that the narrator in all these stories is I. Sometimes they're events true to/based on my life, and sometimes they're inspired by people I know but maybe replaced with my usual female characters. In this story in particular, it was apparently a poor adaptation.
Thanks, sincerely.
is the tone I get from your tale. You sound like a love sick puppy, which I get pn an intellectual basis, but cannot relate to at my age. Pussy is pussy, sounds like you didnt get much to be able to discernt hat. It aint all that different from one chick to another. Sure you can carry a torch for a chick, but if you spend any time with them you see it all is the same.