Sexual Preference/Choice Ch. 03

Cuckolding

Cuckolding and hotwifing are forms of sexual sharing practiced by heterosexual couples. And often it is the heterosexual man who first brings up the idea of his wife or girlfriend having sex with other men. These are not practices in which both parties are free to have sex with others. It is usually the case that the wife or girlfriend is allowed and encouraged to have sex with other men while the husband or boyfriend remains faithful.

Cuckolding, as opposed to swinging, is a one-sided open relationship. In swinging, both partners can have sex with others. In most wife sharing instances, the wife or girlfriend is the only one having sex outside of the relationship. For those who do not know much about this type of lifestyle, it might seem that the husband or boyfriend is left out while the wife and other men have all the sex they want. The reality is that even the husbands and boyfriends get sexual pleasure from witnessing or knowing that their wife or girlfriend is having sex with someone else.

It might seem that allowing another man or men to have sex with your wife or girlfriend would be counter-productive, yet many couples state that living this lifestyle actually enhances their relationship and deepens their bonds with each other. Most all men involved in this lifestyle are heterosexual. Yet, many of these men do things that some people may consider to be homosexual.

Within the wife-sharing world, there are two distinct types of men, cuckolds and Hotwife husbands. Both allow their wife or girlfriend to have sex with other men and most often remain faithful. Yet, the Hotwife husbands do not see themselves as anything like cuckolds because of the simple fact that they do not like or want to be humiliated. Add to this the fact that many Hotwife husbands have sex with others, this is where the two are most different.

John is a professed cuckold and Robert is a proud Hotwife husband. Both John and Robert are married to women who have sex with other men. And John and Robert both identify as heterosexual. Both John and Robert have been married for over twenty years, and divorce has never entered their minds. John and Robert enjoy golf, playing cards, and watching their wives have sex with other men. What makes these two men so different?

John's penis is exactly 4 1/4" long when fully erect and 3" in circumference. He believes that his wife deserves more, sexually, than he has to offer. John has a very high libido, meaning he enjoys sex and thinks about it often. John is successful in his career, loves his wife, cooks, cleans the house, does the laundry, and feels his highest calling is to make his wife feel loved and desired and to make her life as easy as possible.

Robert's penis is exactly 5" long when fully erect and 4" in circumference. He believes that his wife deserves the freedom to have sex with other men. And it excites him when she does. John also has a very high libido. He is also very successful in his career, loves his wife, cooks, helps with the housework, and does all that he can to make his wife happy.

So, what's the difference between John and Robert? Both of these men seem very similar. And in many ways they are. Both men get excited at the thought of their wife having sex with other men. And both men encourage their wives to have sex with other men. John and Robert both shop with their wives to help them buy clothing that other men may find sexually attractive. Yet, Robert doesn't think of other men, especially men with larger penises, as superior to him, whereas, John does.

If Robert isn't monogamous, then he is just a swinger, and his wife dates alone. Whereas, John, being a cuckold, is monogamous and prefers his wife to have sex with other men because he finds it much more exciting than having sex himself. John will invite men to his house to have sex with his wife, and sometimes several men will show up at the same time and all the men will have sex with his wife. This is something that John feels he is doing for his wife, and the other men are doing for him.

John identifies as heterosexual, yet when his wife tells him to orally service her lovers he does. John is not meeting men alone. The only time he has any sexual contact with other men is when these men are with his wife. The men John services do not see themselves as anything other than heterosexual and John's wife gets turned on by watching John service other men. Is John a homosexual, even though he has no external interest in men? Or is John a heterosexual who is performing what could be considered a homosexual act?

John is not sexually attracted to other men. When he services his wife's lovers, he is doing it to turn his wife on. John's wife is having sex with other men because it turns him on, and in return, he is servicing his wife's lovers because he knows that it turns her on. John doesn't go out looking for men to service. And he only services other men when his wife is around and asks him to. What does this make John? The other men aren't homosexual. His wife isn't gay. And John identifies as straight, heterosexual.

The question here is; does John orally servicing other men lessen his masculinity? Does it make him homosexual, or at least bi-sexual? Let's take this a step further. John also goes down on his wife after other men ejaculate inside of her. He eats what is called a "creampie." The question that arises is whether going down on his wife after other men have ejaculated in her is a homosexual act or a heterosexual act?

One might not see ingesting another man's semen as a heterosexual act, but if the desire is to please his wife and he has nothing else to do with the other men, is John actually performing a homosexual activity? And by ingesting another man's semen, does this make John any less masculine?

Orally servicing another man and ingesting his semen is something that homosexual men do, but if there is no attraction to other men, this is just a sexual act. It is not homosexual or heterosexual.

I wanted to know, before I went any further investigating strictly heterosexual experiences, about men who enjoyed watching sex rather than having sex themselves. I returned to the cuckold community for these answers.

"I love watching my wife fucking much more than me actually fucking her, for several reasons. First of all, we can fuck any time. Seeing her seduced and having sex with other guys is really exciting, and when we have sex after she has done other guys it's much more intense. Also when she is being done by several other guys she gets this dreamy look on her face like she is in heaven.

So it is a huge turn-on to see her so totally turned on. She goes completely wild. Another thing is she usually wears thigh highs and spiked heels when she is being fucked. It looks so sexy seeing her stocking-covered legs wrapped around some guy's waist as he pounds her for all he is worth. I love seeing her sandwiched between two guys as she is being DP'd (double penetrated.)

Helping pick out slutty clothes for her to wear to meet a guy in a hotel room is fun. Then, when she comes back home, seeing her wide open and red from being pounded and with another man's semen running out and down her legs really turns me on. I can't say why. I just like watching much more than actually doing it."

"Why I derive satisfaction from my wife fucking another has been a bit of a mystery to me over time, but here is what I have come up with. I love my wife very much and in our own lovemaking, her pleasure and satisfaction are more important than my own. I derive pleasure from giving her pleasure. If we follow the natural line of progression of this thought we find that if the ultimate goal is her pleasure then sex with another man to achieve this end is quite natural.

Another facet of this scenario is that I love the thought of another man finding my wife as sexually attractive as I do, and acting on that attraction. I believe that many of us are unselfish lovers by nature and because of this fact we find ourselves in the unique relationships that we have."

"The first stage for me was in my twenty's when, as a newlywed, I saw my wife being kissed by a man at a party. My reaction and sexual arousal made me resume regular masturbation sessions even though I had a young wife. Taking my desires to another stage, our swinging lasted six years. At the time I thought that knowing and occasionally seeing other men fuck her was the ultimate.

A few years passed and I began to want something different. Many of the couples we met wanted separate room fun, but I realized that my biggest turn-on was not to fuck other wives but to watch my wife being fucked.

This led to the next stage, threesomes with men. Mostly I joined in, but my biggest thrill came from watching and masturbating. When I entered my forty's, three years ago, something happened that excited me so much that it led to the very happy stage I am now at. A few days after we'd had a threesome with one particular man my wife told me that he'd phoned her while I was at work.

During the conversation, he'd expressed the wish to take her out as a twosome. As she seemed keen I agreed, but it wasn't until the day of the date that the full thrill hit me. I found myself in a state of constant arousal watching her prepare and listening to her. She sounded like a young girl going out on her first date. As soon as she left the house I masturbated to orgasm, in no time.

I now find that being alone with my thoughts while she is out with other men is my new ultimate. I don't eat her cream-pies, nor do I ask what she's done. It's enough for me to know that other men are fucking her."

"My wife is going out tonight with a guy we had a three-way with a week ago. I watched them together that night a week ago and she seemed to love the experience. He was very experienced and did her well. She has told me she doesn't know if she will stay the night at his house or not, but she will take the camera and tripod so I can see what happens.

I like and trust the guy she is going to and I trust her very much. I like the fact she has found someone she can have some other fun with. I like watching her being pleased. We have sex, but it is best after she has been with another guy. I admit she is often not in the mood when she comes home, but I say that's what videos are for."

"I have been a cuckold for my wife for about five years. In these five years, I have not had intercourse with my wife or anybody else. Before these five years, we had intercourse about once a year. Before we got married we had intercourse quite frequently. Then we had a couple of babies and I used this as an excuse for not having sex with my wife.

To start with she believed it, but after some years she knew the reason was something else. One day I had to tell her that I would like her to have sex with someone else, with or without me watching. She was very disappointed and couldn't understand it. Some months after that, her sex drive made her find a lover. Her new lover was quite a young man, but very experienced for his age. My wife who had limited sexual experience when we got married told me quite frankly that I was a loser in bed compared to him, and that I could take lessons and learn from her new lover.

I asked her if I could watch them, but she always went over to his place to have sex. However, after about half a year she asked her boyfriend if he had any objection and he said no. He told her he fucked several mature ladies while their impotent husband was watching and masturbating.

When I first got to see them fuck I was really surprised. I couldn't recognize my wife. She was screaming so loud all the time and paid no attention to me. His was huge, but she had no problem accommodating his enormous tool. When he was about to come he pulled out and shot all over her. That was the first time I had seen that in real life. She had had multiple orgasms. I was hornier than I had ever been since I was a teenager. Since that day I have realized watching is much better than actually doing it."

Some people felt there was more to wife sharing, cuckolding, and hot-wifeing than just wives having sex with other men.

"I am a Christian woman and I entered the cuckold lifestyle quite unexpectedly. I wondered if there were other Christian women or couples in this lifestyle and found I was not alone, not by a long shot. What I found was Christianity has been a convenient cloak for people who wish to hide their underlying motives. The monogamy value is evidently rooted in early man's distaste for raising extra, other men's, children and providing for them. With the rapidly expanding popularity of Christianity, it became convenient to associate this with religion. This linked monogamy with spirituality and helped to ensure compliance.

American society adopted the monogamy value from Christianity and has kept it to this day, although the original idea behind it became a non-issue with the advent of birth control. I find when I go to church people there support monogamy as a spiritual value, along with several other morals that are included in the teachings that are supposed to foster our emotional well-being.

I think cuckoldry and wife sharing is practical, sensible, and fits in well with the logic of the Universe that God created. Some men make good companions while others are best for procreation. It seems logical and natural for a woman to select one man for companionship and another for sex since the chances of finding a man who is ideal for both are very slim. In fact, it seems like it would be sinful for a woman to attempt using one man for both purposes since it can only result in a less-than-perfect marriage or less-than-perfect offspring. Either of these would add imperfections to the system that God created.

In the goal-oriented society that we live in, it seems that monogamy would be frowned upon. Americans are always looking for something better than what we already have. That is why most of our ancestors came here. Why do we continue to allow these irrational values, such as monogamy, to hold us back? When are people going to wake up and see that this has nothing to do with spirituality and that sex with the permission of the husband is not sinful?

I mean Abraham had a wife and a mistress at his wife's insistence. Jacob had two wives, who lived together, along with two mistresses. Let's not even talk about King Solomon. Yes, women were forbidden to have more than one man, but women were considered property within their marital status. If we move women up to equal, then where is the Biblical prohibition on mistresses, which would be the masculine form of misters, I guess, for a woman?

Women have been elevated in society and are no longer the property of men. They get equal treatment under God's Law. A thorough study of The Law shows that the only thing that a man could get into real trouble for was sleeping with another man's wife behind his back, defiling his property. Logically, if the man agrees then there is no adultery. Bottom line is that women are free as men are in the arena of sexual expression. This has helped me to see my having sex with other men, and my husband's okay to do so, as okay and acceptable to God and more common than I had thought.

I have spent considerable time studying the scriptures on this subject and others related. I truly believe the bottom line to scriptural adultery is not the sex, but, rather, the deception and betrayal which cause a rift between the two partners, husband, and wife. So many preachers talk to us of the law, all the while forgetting that we were set free from the law through Christ our savior.

I have thought of the times when men in the Bible had women besides his wife to serve his sexual needs, they were called concubines. The wisest man, now I talk about Solomon, had several wives, nine hundred to be exact, and several concubines, and God looked at Solomon with favor.

Now, if it was ok for a man to have women to satisfy his sexual needs it is only fair to say that women could do the same. I believe whatever a man and wife choose and are open with each other about would be ok. I am a Christian, church-going woman and I have permission from my husband to be with other men. My husband likes me to be with other men. He likes to see me happy. So why not make him and me happy at the same time? And I think Biblically it is okay, too, so why not?"

A majority of women I spoke with that were in cuckold relationships told me they still loved their husbands and still respected them. Few wives spoke of divorce or that their relationship with their husbands was anything less than good. Many of the cuckold wives got into the lifestyle because of their husbands. Very few told me they stayed in it because of their husbands. The majority of cuckold wives loved their husbands and wanted to stay married, they just wanted to have sex and their husbands often weren't much help in that area.

One woman explained, "Women have sex drives, too. We like sex as much as guys do. Having a cuckold husband has allowed me to still enjoy sex even though it is not with my husband. I don't have or want sex every day, but it is nice to know when I want it that it is okay to have it with whomever I desire."

Many women like the freedom that comes with the cuckold relationship. Not all cuckolds are totally submissive. Many cuckolds are very manly in other areas of their lives. Many cuckolds like to see other men as more manly than they are and that they are better lovers. The wives rarely think their husbands are lesser men or lesser lovers. The humiliation that often accompanies cuckolding is usually done to please the husband, not the wife.

Although many cuckold wives have their husbands do sexual favors for their lovers, this is not done to see the husband as gay, but to see something they may never be able to see in any other situation. Although cuckolds are heterosexual men with desires that may cross sexual lines, most still identify as heterosexual.

One man explained, "Men buy and view most of the pornography in the world today. So it only makes sense that they would want to see it live. The only way this is going to happen is if the husband lets the wife have sex with other men in their home or at a hotel or somewhere. Men like to watch women get laid by guys that have large equipment. And a lot of guys like being with married women, so it isn't hard to find guys willing to perform with your wife.

When a wife finally agrees to have sex with others, the husband gets a thrill as nothing else can give. Wives often do more with other men than they will with the husband, and it is nice to see her do those things even if it is with another man. It gives him more to fantasize about when he masturbates. Seeing the wife have sex with total abandon is like a dream come true, mostly because the only time she does this is with another man or other men.

Guys like watching sex probably more than doing it because they don't have to worry about performance or anything. The responsibility is on the other guy. That makes it kind of cool. Sometimes you see the guys trying so hard to hold back and then they are surprised when the wife wants them to get off and tells them they will get them hard again if they do cum. A lot of guys don't find women willing to do that for them.

A lot of times the wife will only do things with other guys that she won't do with her husband. That is why it is so awesome to see your wife do it, even if it is with another guy. Whether they want to admit it or not, most men want this to happen with their wives. They say they would never let another guy do their wife, but when it happens and they get to see it, they love it.

I agree most men that do this often get to see the sex happen more often than get it themselves, but that is also part of the thrill because you can masturbate and not have to worry if you come too soon or not. And you get to see your wife doing all the things you always wished she would do. Guys like easy women, and to have one as a wife is the best.