All Comments on 'Shadow Dagger Ch. 01'

Very interesting start; please don't take too long with the next chapter :)

All the penis and vagina and orgasmed-as-a-verb stuff sort of pulled me out of the sex scene. Much too clinical. If you don't like the harsher words, I'd find some of the less purple euphemisms. Still gave it 4 out of 5, though, and will look forward to seeing where it goes.

I am a huge fan of Fantasy and I liked the story so far very much. However I agree with the other post that the "sex" part of the story needs to be treated with as much care as you would the "magi" part. If you are not comfortable with it atleast make it romantic or just skip it altogether but dont be vagina-erection-penetration about it :-)

Also try to describe the sorroundings and the magi world a bit to put the reader in proper mood/ambience.

I think you have a good fantasy story here, but the sex was lacking. The penis/vagina references put me off. In all honesty I would include a bit more tension as well.

I am enjoying the action in this story. Please keep up the action. I know that the sex will come along later, I hope much later.

Knowing Austin's penchant for and skill at building suspense, and fearing that I wouldn't be able to handle the suspense, I've been waiting for this series to conclude before wading in. Just saw the epilogue post, and coincidentally, I have a free afternoon, so here I go! It's terrific so far.

I love the characters and the world building. This has all the elements of a great story. Intriguing plot, and pulse pounding action. Great Job!

A bit dull, but fast, interesting, captivating.

This series is far superior to many a published big-name fantasy I've read. The plot is intricate yet seamless, the characters are fascinating, and the writing itself is so flawless it already seems to have been professionally edited. This is exactly the sort of surprising brilliance that makes reading Literotica worthwhile. Thanks to the author for freely sharing this truly wonderful story.

Just found this series and love it. Read it all on my phone and am coming back on my computer to vote and to tell you to keep writing! Gripping from start to finish.

Very good indeed.

Impressed by the detail and the entertainment involved in such a short span of words.

JC

So if something's bad you write it as if it's good?

If you are getting killed in a fight that you thought would be easy to win, you would be surprised. You however said 'pleasantly surprised ', um , nope, no you wouldn't.

You did this several times in different ways. It's a pain in the ass to have to decipher as you go.

One star, as the fault is directly with the story.

Your opening paragraph could just be I have a black knife that’s comfortable to hold and is quiet to draw. But no no no we have an epic saga of a guy just starting out on a new story and is writing crap and lies.

A knife darker than shadows, now that’s just cool. However a knife that’s as silent to draw as death? Shit dude buy a new knife as the one you’ve got is just way too loud for Assassins. So I have actually seen 5 people die within my own eyes and have been about 10 meters for one and a meter for the other 4. People are loud when they die. A guy at work was crushed and he screamed and screamed as he died and didn’t stop till he was dead. He screamed for his wife and his kids and then for an ambulance and pain killers but mostly his wife. However loud to the very last. The other 4 were my wife and my parents. They just died in their beds and the breathing beforehand is so loud, I mean abnormally loud. Then they die and the last breath out is shattering and you know they are dead as no other breath has ever sounded like that. I think it’s because every last muscle in the lungs and the diaphragm all give out at once and you get a one off weird deflation. And it’s also loud.

So get your Assassin a quieter knife.

A lesson in metallurgy. All metals are devoid of light. Metals sitting there in their natural state at room temperature produce no light. Now you can excite some to get a glow or you can heat most to get a glow, a nice IR glow directly corresponding to temperature. So I think that perhaps you didn’t quite mean that. Maybe no reflective, maybe matt in finish. Personally I would have just stuck with darker than shadows. That’s such a cool line.

So 4 paragraphs in and hoping all the crazy adjectives thin out a bit.