Shannon's Spiral

"Yes. If it really means that much to you, we can go get one right now."

He nodded up and down in agreement. Jeez, this kid was so emotional. The last thing I wanted him to do was something as crazy as slitting his own wrists. Most of the retails stores were all closed by this time of night and we were forced to go to Walmart.

Upon entering, the store was filled with your usual sweat pants and tank top dressed people. Mostly hispanic, we made our way to the clothing section. I was pretty sad when I found out that they didn't have any swimming suits in my sizes. Most of the swimsuits available were all XL or XXL. Kind of tells you something about Walmart's customers. "Sorry Josh, but I don't think there's anything that fits me here."

"What about that lady?" He pointed to the woman guarding the dressing room. We approached her.

"Excuse me ma'am." she was an elderly black woman.

"Yah? Wuddaya need?" rather rude if you ask me.

"Would you happen to have any other swimming suits, besides the ones out on display, in a medium size?" Mediums never fit my waist line, but I had to get them in order to keep my breasts and rear covered up.

"Lemme check," she went to the rack where clothing was returned, "Only got this for you," she chewed her gum obnoxiously.

I pulled it up to the light and it was pretty vulgar. A cow skin design thong bikini. I looked at Josh with a puzzled, 'Do I have to?' look.

"Well at least try it on Mrs. Brae."

I stepped into the changing room and observed the two pieces of string. I couldn't believe it. I probably had one pair of underwear that was even close to this, and I only wore those on very special occasions. I've worn bikinis before, sure, but this was overly extreme. I felt naked as I looked myself over in the mirror. My breasts tried hard to maintain within the two triangles that covered my nipples. Thank god I had recently shaved, because the size of the cloth covering my vagina felt so small. I turned around to observe, what I knew would be the worst of it. There wasn't anything but a single string running down the crack of my behind. If I bent over, my pussy and asshole would be openly exposed.

I cracked the dressing room door open just enough so my face could fit through as I hid the rest of my body behind the door. "Josh," I whispered.

He was standing at the counter with the black employee. "Yeah?"

"Come here, I don't think this is going to work." Josh began approaching me when the black woman stopped him and looked back at me.

"Hey, I don't know what you two or thinkin', but that shit aint goin down while I'm on da clock."

The hell was she going on about.

"If you wanna talk to him, you come out here and do it missy." I started hesitating whether or not I should go out exposed like this. I just wanted to change back into my clothes and say I couldn't do it and that we should just go another time. Josh was waiting there though and I knew what it would imply to him if I refused to wear the bikini.

I was so nervous and my body was beating a million beats per minute. My fingertips started to freeze up as I closed the door and took a deep breath. I opened it and stepped out. "Well how is it Josh?"

"I can't really tell, can you come closer?"

I walked up to him leaving the safety of the dressing rooms behind me. The black woman then moved towards my dressing room. I was blushing and didn't know what to do. It felt like my heart was going to explode. I could really start feeling just how strong the air conditioning in the building was. Oh no... My nipples were starting to get erect. "Which one was you in?" her question made me jump. I turned around. "This one?" she pointed.

I lost sense of where I was or what I was doing. Too nervous to speak I just nodded. When I turned around I guess Josh saw the back side of the bikini. He was speechless and was now blatantly gazing my body up and down. I kept my arms folded trying to cover up the sides of my breast and keep my nipples from poking out.

"You look so beautiful Mrs. Brae. I don't know why you don't show your body off more?"

"Thanks Josh, but don't you think this is a little over the top?" He looked me up and down once more making my heart beat even faster.

"Actually, the tennis shoes don't really belong there." he laughed. I looked down and laughed with him.

"So it's really alright?" I felt a little bit better with Josh's warming smile.

"Perfect,"

"Okay let me get dressed and we'll go." he nodded as I headed back. When I turned around to walk back towards the dressing room, I could really feel his gaze on the lower half of my body. I could almost feel him digging into my body with such a lustful intent. I walked back to the dressing room only to discover all my clothes missing. My body got chills. I ran around to all the other dressing rooms but there was nothing to be found. 'SHIT!' the lady must've mistakenly taken my clothes. "Josh?" I called from behind the dressing room door.

"Yeah?"

"Can you come here?" He stood behind the closed door.

"What's wrong Mrs. Brae?"

"I think that woman accidently took my clothes. There's no way I'm going out like this. Can you look around for her?"

"Yeah. Just sit tight, I'll be right back." I heard him running away.

10 minutes felt like an eternity as I waited in my blue cube. "Mrs. Brae?" Josh called out.

"Did you find her?" I could feel my heart racing again.

"Nope. I couldn't find anyone but the cashier." I couldn't believe it, I would have to walk out in this.

"Are there a lot of people out there?"

"Uhm... Not really."

I shuffled through my purse looking for some money. I only had a $20 bill that was enough to cover the bikini. I had forgotten my cards at home. God damn it! There was nothing else to do but go out. "Josh?"

"Yeah Mrs. Brae."

"I'm scared,"

"What why?"

"I don't want people to stare at my body while I'm wearing this. I feel so exposed."

"Come on Mrs. Brae. You've got such a great body. I've never seen a woman as beautiful as you."

"That's very sweet Josh but can you help me?"

"Help you how?"

"Just promise you'll stay close to me."

"Don't worry Mrs. Brae. I got you,"

I was more nervous than ever as I stepped out of the dressing room. I quickly grabbed Josh's arm and held him tightly. I hunched over and tried hiding myself as much as I could behind Josh.

All the self-service registers were closed for the night and in true Wal-Mart fashion, there was only 1 register open with a long line of people waiting. I turned the attention of the world onto me when I began walking towards that line. Men, women, children, and even dogs stared blankly at me in disbelief. Something surprised me though. Josh was keeping his head up tall and staring down anyone that tried looking our way. I had never seen him this way before.

We waited in line right under an air vent. It was getting so cold as I shivered. It was no use trying to hide it anymore, my nipples were fully erect. When I brushed my arm agianst my nipple it sent warm shivers down my body and into my pussy. I was getting wet. All that sexual tension was pent up and it was unleashing itself at such a time. Men with their wife stared at me. One man was slapped by his wife but he kept staring at me. They all wanted the same thing from me. I had never felt so violated in my life.

Finally, we reached the front of the line as a crowd gathered around to worship me with their eyes some more. The woman at the register was shocked as well. "Ma'am?"

I only looked at her with the most frightened eyes.

"I need to scan the tag."

"Can't you just use your scan gun thing?"

"I'm really sorry, but it's broken. You'll have to step over here and scan it over my counter." Everything that could possibly go wrong was happening to me. The tag for the top was on the side of my left ribs. I had to bend over, giving the crowd a full view of my cleavage as I ran the tag back and forth against the scanner. My breasts felt heavy as they swayed from side to side. The damn tag wasn't getting scanned. "You'll have to come closer to the scanner ma'am." All the guys were now hootin', hollerin, and even blowing whistles. My breasts were now touching the counter as I rubbed them against the scanner. My nipples would constantly flick over the small metallic cut getting me hotter and hornier. I couldn't take it as I let out a soft moan that seemed to be amplified as all the guys cheered. Oh god, what was I doing?

Finally I heard the beep. I was able to pull the bottom tag just enough and was scanned almost instantaneously. Thank god for that. I paid with the $20 bill and left the Wal-Mart feeling like a cheap whore. It seemed like a lot of the guys from inside had followed me out. They were following us to our car asking if we needed help with anything. We weren't even carrying anything but I knew what they wanted. I walked faster until I got to my car. The guys "booed" at me and finally left me alone.

I took a deep breath sitting in the car. "Are you alright Mrs. Brae?"

"I never want to do that again," I said sulkily resting my head against the steering wheel.

"I just wanted to say thanks. No one's ever done something like that for me."

"Well I hope you've learned something from that Josh. If I was practically naked and able to do that in public, then you should have no problem swimming with me right?"

He smiled and nodded.

It was almost 11 when we arrived back at the gym. Josh went in ahead of me and I put my workout clothes on over my bikini in the car. He was waiting for me inside. Both the locker rooms were connected to the swimming pool. While walking to the locker room, I noticed that the gym had cleared out and only a handful of people were left.

As soon as I got into the swimming room, I walked into the hot tub covering myself with bubbling jets. Josh was nowhere to be seen but there was another gentleman already in the hot tub. I could see him, just as the hundreds of other men, drooling over my body. Only the top of my chest and up were visible now.

I wondered what was taking Josh so long. The hot tub felt good and relaxing, but it was a pathetic excuse for a gym's hot tub. It was in a shape of a cube and could only realistically fit 1 1/2 people per side. Two girls, looking as if they were in high school, stepped out of the locker room with bikinis on and hopped into the hottub with us. I moved a bit closer to the man sitting adjacent to me out of respect for the girls. They were giggling and talking about some guy or guys. Just then a pair of boys came out of the men's locker room looking the same age as the girls.

"What took you so long babe?" one of the girls said standing up and looking up to her man. The guys jumped in and grabbed their respective girls. It seemed like a full house now. They managed to push me onto the same bench the older man was sitting on. He was kind enough to make enough room that we wouldn't be touching each other. The girls were sitting in the laps of their boyfriends.

Watching the girls touch, kiss, and grind on their guys had turned me on a bit. I tried my best to look away when one of the boys caught me staring he asked, "What the fuck are you lookin at you old hag!"

I never felt so shitty about my age. He was right. What was I doing dressed up in a bikini clearly designed for women much younger than me? I looked the only way I could to avoid eye contact with the four teenagers, and that was directed at the old man. I watched him more closely now. He was probably nearing his 60's, he looked a lot like Mark's dad. He had a bald crown and only fragments of hair that hung off the side of his head. His skin was wrinkled with random brown patches and his fat breasts were sagging to the sides of his ribs. I couldn't help but think that this is what Mark would eventually end up looking like.

"Yeah, so Jeff tripped him and said it was an accident. That fat fuck. He's so fucking fat." The four of them laughed. I could tell that their comment stung the old man a bit. He looked down a bit sad.

"Can you believe it? He started crying. That fat piece of shit is probably still in the locker room crying." They all laughed horribly together again.

Were they talking about Josh? Shit! I looked over and could see Josh barely peeking his head out of the men's locker room. His eyes were filled with sadness and tears. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't move or do anything. I was still scared from the incident at Wal-Mart and didn't want anyone else to see me in this bikini.

20 minutes had passed and I just sat there like a fool, no longer looking over at Josh, until the kids left. When the kids left I moved to the opposite side of where the man was sitting. We were facing each other now when Josh walked out of the locker room. He came in and sat down between us. The hot tub was so ridiculously small that if I stretched my foot out, I could touch the other end of the hot tub. "Are you okay Josh?"

Josh was still sniffling and crying. "No..." Tears dropped into the hot tub.

"I heard what those boys said. They weren't right to say that. Please don't believe anything that they've said."

"It's okay. I'm used to being treated like that." The old man looked over at Josh silently sort of empathizing with him.

I felt like I was burning up from being in the hot tub for such a long time. "Hey Josh? I know you just got here, but I'm kind of getting all soggy from this. I'm going to cool down in the sauna then I'll come back."

"Okay... I'll just stay here," he seemed completely defeated.

I got up once again showing my exposed body to both men. I could tell that this cheered up Josh somewhat. I sat down in the sauna for about a minute before the old man entered in behind me. There wasn't anything too bad about this guy. He seemed really harmless.

"I'm sorry I keep staring at you, but you look terribly familiar." he had a very sweet and gentle, light voice.

"Oh, do I know you?"

"Are you by chance Mark Brae's wife?"

"Yes! Yes I am. This is so embarrassing, how do you know Mark?"

"I worked with him back at the office. He was a very ambiguous man. One day he got sick and never returned. How is he?"

"Well, he's been better..." The conversation sort of died there.

"You're a hard face to forget Mrs. Brae,"

"Oh please call me Shannon. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you earlier," I still didn't have a clue who he was.

"I'm Shawn Lock," We shook hands and smiled at one another. During the duration of our conversation I had forgotten what I was wearing and had a more upright revealing posture. "Is that your boy out there?"

"Close, he's a friend of my son's. His mother is out of the country and I've agreed to watch him until she comes back."

"Oh," his face soured up. "That must be tough for a woman like you."

"It can be at times," I admitted.

"I've really missed Mark ever since he left us. Perhaps we can have dinner altogether some time?"

"Sure that'd be great. I'm afraid I don't have a way of contacting you though."

"Mark is sure to remember me. Just tell him that Shawn wants to stop by sometime."

"Sure I will,"

"Well, it's beyond my bedtime and my wife is probably calling the police about my whereabouts." I let out a giggle. "It was a pleasure seeing you again Shannon,"

"You too Mr. Lock."

"Shawn," he said grasping my hand. He left the sauna after that. I followed him out about a minute later and found Josh still in the hot tub.

"Hey you ready to go?"

He was staring down at the water as if he was about to drown himself. "Sure," He seemed really depressed, more so than ever. He slowly walked out of the pool keeping his head completely down.

"Hey come here," I grabbed him and hugged him as I would do to Ben sometimes. I hugged him with a motherly sense. He began to cry in my chest while his tears trickled down my dry body. "It's okay Josh. I promise things will get better." He cried harder hugging me very tightly now. It was hard to breath with the amount of force he was exerting. My breasts were firmly pushed up against his body. "Hey are you alright?" I asked trying to inhale and expand my torso to free myself a bit.

"NO NO NO!!" He cried out shaking me from side to side violently. He was stronger than I expected. His shaking had loosened my bikini as a breast fell out of place. It was no exposed in the open.

I tried prying his grip, but he was lost in his emotions crying and yelling. "Josh stop this! It hurts."

"Why doesn't anyone love me?" He finally loosened his grip.

My breast still exposed when I lifted his face with my hands, "Hey, I'm here for you." I gently kissed him on his forehead and pulled him in for a hug again. His head resting on my chest, this time he was calm and closed his eyes.