by chris99999
I'm a little torn on this one - what was here was good, but it feels like there's a lot you could have fleshed out that would have made this great. There is no information on why the sister flipped. There's alternating hot and cold from the Aunty with no explanation as to why she seemed pleased with him after the first "hand stuff" night with his sister. No real covering of feelings on either side. You both say you shouldn't do it, but then you do, and there's no real covering of that conflict internally - you tell us it exists and you just do it anyway, but you never really show us at all.
Not bad I loved it now I'm hungry to hear it again but with him staying in his room with the aunt
When are you going to write the next instalment. After all there’s an Aunty as well!!!!!!!!
Sometimes the ," Seminal Moment " occurs because of unusual circumstances. So well told with a perfect pace.
A good story and so close to the happenings of myself and my sister when we were in our teens living at home with mom and dad.....
Good start, but room for so much more. Develop it and you may have something there.
I loved it!!! I never had a sister, but always fantasized about how we would have got along! I'm pretty sure it would have been great!