All Comments on 'Sharyn is Going to be a Big Star'

that was original.

Unless you get an editor and listen to what they say.

You have no idea how to use a comma or a period. Half of your sentences make no sense.

"We felt we should at least give it a try to preserve some semblance of our marriage" - What does that even mean? How does her making movies "preserve some semblance" of their marriage?

And "Holy Snickerdoodles"? Terrible.

I won't be around for any part 2 this story may have. double yuck.

A bustle was a device popular in Victorian fashions, worn under the dress to make a woman's hips and arse look bigger. It certainly didn't come in bra-sizes.

Just one mistake among many.

You should ask yourself, if you can't be bothered to proof read the story, why should any of us invest time in reading your story either?

I go to the gay sex site every day trying to find good literature to read and all I find is stories about men having sex with men.The more I complain the more they tell me to fuck off.Oh well Its just good literature I want to read anyway.Maybe I can read good literature in Fetish..Help

# 1

Garbage for postings. Maybe tomorrow?

Only pathetic!!!

How long can she earn $ when she becomes PG? The couple can't possibly not think about this. You did not write about that. Yes a fantasy site, but must have some logic to be a good story.

It's a worry, as you say:

"I go to the gay sex site every day trying to find good literature to read and all I find is stories about men having sex with men. The more I complain the more they tell me to fuck off. Oh well Its just good literature I want to read anyway. Maybe I can read good literature in Fetish..Help"

And maybe you will find commenters in those places who read the story for what it is, not for psychotherapeutic purposes.

Lue

You need some basic english language skills. That story would be lucky to get a 2 given all the mistakes and lack of punctuation.

I certainly wouldn't post anything more until I found an editor and practised a whole lot more.

Please don't continue...Stop it here or LW will face a shit storm from you. And @luedon should stick his stupid comments in his ass.

Keep it going, I want to see how your story develops.xoxoxox Annette

This same lame plot has been done and redone 100s of times already.

Do wonder what kind of love life they will have in 3 years.

If she's going to be a whore, she needs to be smarter. Time for Hubby to pull up stakes and move far, far away before he ends up raising another man's child or he catches something nasty that he can't divorce. Ugly story of utter stupidity.

1 star

So this "anonymous" guy or girl has a lot to say. I wish they had something constructive to say instead of hiding behind anonymous and spitting hate. I say keep writing because the plot is not that bad. Please find an editor or two. There are also places in the forums where you can get help with a plot line. The key is to write stories you enjoy. Don't stop because of the hate. Practice practice practice.

this for an ending. No you are not doing revealing pics with this guy. Get dressed. We are leaving.

No dear I'm going to stay.

Have a good life. Can someone give her a ride home?

Then he goes home, packs his shit and moves back to his home town where he moves into his old room his parents haven't touched. Finds a job at a local machine shop where the owner is looking for someone to take over the business so he can retire and move to Florida. He does well financially, meets his old high school sweetheart whose first husband died in the Mideast and lives happily ever after. Years later he finds out his first wife and many of her fellow "actors" died of AIDS about three years after he left.

pathetic cuck shit.

I love this story. Especially the wife's fat ass and her casual dismissal of his tiny dick. Please continue the story with tons of SPH and cuckolding!!

I wish my wife wanted to be a star!

I'm not at all upset by any of the comments. I knew some would like and some wouldn't but I can write better and I will. I appreciate the feedback from everyone, some of these are fixable.

Ch 2 is up...title is a little long so I just slapped a 2 on it.

Cheers everyone and a few of you folks need to lighten up a smidge.

Does she do a lot of anal and end up with a prolapsed rectum? Cause that would be a great way to segue into hubby's transition into a shemale.

1* (where are the negative ratings when we need them?)

2*

Now I am not gonna put you down like most people. You said at the beginning this was your first story. A few things, slow the pace. It jumps from scene to scene quickly and that also effects detail. If you rush through with lack of detail then no one will be interested in reading. Next is grammar, punctuation, and legit reactions. I mean no one yells Snicker-doodles lol. I do see you getting far and the more you write the better you will become. =)

Brilliant

HIs mom was like your wife and told you to love it or deal with it!!

38dd or 40e, the only dancing she ever did was stripping. And, at that size, and natural, they do not stand straight out. This belongs in the pure fantasy category.

Terrible who the fuck let's there wife do porn no matter what financial trouble you are in. All these story's say my 5inch penis the average size of a penis is 4-6 I'm average and have had my fair share of partners. I only ran into one size queen and she was a total whore who was on a big cock mission she fucked at least twenty dudes I new of on her mission. The bitch was never satisfied my friend Seth was hung like a horse she was still not satisfied. So quit making fun of the rest of us averageguys