All Comments on 'Shattered Ch. 03'

why was he still simping for that whore in page 1?!

Cuck.

No karma for Mary?

Drivel!

Well the wages of sin are death. In this case the death of their marriage and Jill is left with a sh%tty life, using a cane, struggling to make ends meet, two children that will forever think less of her, and a dead end relationship with Jimmy the asshole.

Her "wasted 20 years statement" does not rectify with her "only one person truly rocked my world" comment. Honestly being deep on an affair like that, the thrill of hot, new sex partner, some of her first statement probably was hyperbole. But it doesn't matter. He is not a telepathic, and those words are marriage killers. Meanwhile, ge final statement was a nice sentiment and may have had some real truth to it. But it doesn't matter because she nuked her marriage from orbit and Steve had moved on. Agree with prior commenter, that unusual for the wife to hide her dissatisfaction with him working and away on business so much for so long with no arguments or bickering, but instead unloading with her sister Mary (hence all the vitriol with Mary) and probably with Gloria, which set thebstage for the affair. Glad Steve burned Jimmy, Dan and Gloria. Chris was such an absolute loser, that there was not nothing left to burn. She really thought that sex with Chris and his seduction was so good that he really loved her and that she loved him? Lol. She is a moron. Trading up to a forklift operator who lives in a trailer when she is 40 years old? Riiiight. Good luck with that. Oh snap! She did try it and Chris ran away because he lost his job and didn't want to deal with her, beyond imsex when she wa healthy. Gloria called that one. Not much gray here. The wife wasn't evil but wow she sure destroyed any good memories of their marriage besides their kids. Hope Steve has a happy rest of his life with Amber. His ex-wife's comment about rocking her world, ws more about she had forgotten what she had until she killed it off and now regrets what she lost. Too bad. So sad. Don't cheat. There are literally hundreds of ways to try and force/beg/manipulate/seduce her husband to spend more time with her that do not involve cheating behind his back in a lengthy affair. She did none of those because ahe is selfish and weak.

"Only one person ever truly rocked my world, Steve."

.

"Yeah, you were really partial to Chris, weren't you?"

Think that'll hurt her?

To the anon before:

Easy answer.

If you are shocked to your core, it changes something inside of you.

For good or bad.

„Counselling“ is not an aswer to your own decision.

So in the final chapter Steve suddenly grows up and becomes mentally strong. Highly unlikely without counselling. Why is it in these stories once he leaves the wife suddenly he falls on his feet and becomes a success. To rosey an ending for Steve after the previous two chapters.

Breathlessly, the woman cried out, "My god, I never knew sex could be like this!" She whimpered out a moan of pleasure, "I've wasted twenty years of my life! Your cock is so big!" Her voice went up an octave with that last word.

====> Yeah that absolutely kills a marriage. Was her first time, but so what? She stuck a fork in her marriage because her husband made a living for their family. Yes a workaholic can break the vows of the marriage by not cherishing or honoring the marriage, but the aggrieved spouse needs to speak up and bring things to a reckoning, even if he means arguing. Btw usually these things don't just blow up after 20 years. They typically argue a lot as the kids get older in high school, and then eventually break out of control if no resolution. Unlikely therr is no friction until suddenly bam 20+ years. But hey it is fiction.

Mate, you really need to rewrite that ending. It's completely balls compared to the rest of the story.

I liked this but I like most sites when the good guys win....

The part I liked best was the character development and the silent revenge. Jill was an easy mark for Dan, Gloria and Chris as she probably never really loved Steve. he was just someone who loved her to death and took her away from a life of being a "ugly duckling", Also why do women who are stay at home wives, end up bitching about their husbands working all the time but never get a job to help out? O really think they almost always (on this site) end up with an empty chair for an affair partner. One last item; Gloria should have or in the future felt Steve's wrath and should suffer... Maybe a violent STD....

So how did Dan find out about Gloria, if Dan was possibly innocent then Steve shouldn't have attacked him, it's not his fault that Gloria seduced Jill to Chris, plus Jill knew what she was doing with Jimmy, Chris, and Jon, I wonder how her sister feels about Steve now? Knowing that he is doing well, while Jill is suffering from her own transgressions. I do like how Steve wasn't being sarcastic, he was genuinely curious if Jill found what she wanted in Chris, but it just shows that she should have said something, the fact that she declined going with him on the business trips, only proved she was looking for a way out, well, she found it and can see that the grass isn't greener on the other side, hopefully, karma comes to her sister as well, since Jill could talk to her, but not Steve about their marriage.

To end such a long story talking about Jonathan, who barely played much of a role at all seems rather pointless. Meanwhile, the main antagonists went out with a small paragraph and barely a squeak. So much pain and turmoil throughout the story, creating havok and destroying lives like a hurricane trying to destroy Steves life and it ended with all the rage and fury of a weak fart

The chucklehead commenters on this site think being "burned" requires physical, financial, and/or reputational injury. Like most small-minded people, they do not realize that the most effective and most insidious prison is one created by a person for themselves. Those prisons are absolutely secure and punitive in ways the "all visceral, all the time" crowd cannot comprehend. Furthermore, hard time is just that, and there is rarely any time off for good behavior. This is the prison Jill created for herself--it's Folsom Prison on steroids.

Not bad, but Jill should have suffered much more than she did.

sad tale.

An anticlimactic ending. Too abrupt and not much to it. Will he really be happy with Amber?? Wx wife is walking but she did the typical selfish "he is married to his job, so I will cheat with an amazing new lover who really cares for me". Lol. Caring is shown not just by sex or intimacy or romance or platitudes, it is all about surviving and weathering life's challenged. Chris was a coward and bolted. Guess he wasn't the "one". Her commentary while f$cking Chris was beyond execrable and kills all chance at reconciliation regardless of her lame excuses as "sex talk". Here she cheated for one of the tip reasons that women cheat, but ended up losing everything. She will be sad and alone thenrest of her life. Mary her sister is a total bitch.

Eh, for a moment, it looked like the story was actually building up to something, but then it just kind of seemed to fizzle.

Decent story with a very lackluster ending.

Best revenge there is and that's living well while the ex suffers

What? Why is he with Amber? Huh?

Very inadequate ending.

Such potential thrown down the hole of an outhouse

Sorry it just didn't do it for me, obviously it isn't to my taste, others enjoyed it , some thought it well written, therefore I am not going to mark it down, that wouldn't be fair.

OK, so he got there in the end. They say, revenge is a dish best served cold.

Good 5 stars

Everything in italics were words that actually should have been verbalized. This was nothing more than manipulative dialog, in that the wimp was smart enough to think, but not strong enough to actually act, verbally or in actuality, in his own interest. Manipulating the reader in this way is not indicative of a good quality story, or the one that produced it. Overall really pretty bad. Why did he need to wait so long to act if he had the hacker chops to get it done? Lame.

Don’t think I’ve read a LW story filled with more clichés than this one. Just a cut and paste from thousands of others.

Modern-day realistic BTB is to walk away from the bitch. Don't give her closure. Women love closure. Wish them well and mean it so they can't make you the bad guy. You show your value as a man by not giving a duck about them or their betrayal. He's moved on. She's working a lame job, no stable man in her life to lean on, just a used up hoe. And slightly crippled too.

Ole Stevie has a hell of a lot more patience than most but his final revenge sounds like fun. If I had that destructive ability to computer bomb the bastards it would have happened a tad earlier in the game. I give this'un a four - I followed the destruction but it was a tad hard to follow the plot!

So.... were cheaters punished????

Hmmm... not really.

2 starrs

Somehow, I don't feel like the BTB was enough. Good writing, though.

fuck you mary ,you are a big whore like your sister jill . and steve real men don;t ASK the wife if she love;s her boyfriend . the only thing a man care about is that his wife gave his pussy to another man.

Azpiri, you have succeeded in dragging defeat from the jaws of what would have been a spectacular victory. After having apparently learned the lessons of the first two chapters you simply flushed all of your newly acquired credit down the toilet to give us the second worst possible outcome. Also, what's all this "I'm sorry you didn't find the happiness you were looking for with Chris"? Seriously? Any normal person with an instinct for self preservation would be laughing uproariously that it all went sideways between the two cheats. That magnanimity on the part of the MC was no doubt intended by the author to convey that the MC had moved on. It failed spectacularly, only making me want to vomit as copiously as so many MCs in LW. 1 star bomb.

After all the shaming, blaming and manipulation Amber gave Steve about fighting for Jill I don't why the fuck he'd want anything to do with her...a single young mom looking for a hard working sugar daddy to raise her kids. Steve was dumb to sign up for that no matter if she thinks she has a gold plated pussy.

A bit ordinary, but l liked it. Jill got hers in spades, she will end up bitter and lonely, oh so lonely.

Just her, and the walking stick that will constantly remind her of what she lost.

5/5

ZEROZEROZEROZEROZERO. snark, snark; such a tacky, tawdry, smarmy, little melodrama... sarahwl, you need to get a life!

I loved the way you wrote this story. At first it caused me pause, but once I realized the style, I loved it. It felt like a classic, old piece of literature of days gone by. Very emotional, with a heartbreaking rendering of a tragedy. I found myself holding my breath as my husband read it to me (we read to each other sometimes, it is so sexy and intimate) . It is now 1:30 am. We couldn't stop until the end. You have our highest regards. Cheers!

This is the perfect example of why breaking up a story into 3 parts hurts the story. The first part was laying down the bones of the story so to speak. Part 2 really added the meat to the story. But part 3 pulled all the parts together. Giving coherence to the story as a whole. When I rated the parts separately Part 1 was going to be a 3 star, but I lamented and bumped it up to 4. Part 2 got 5 but I hesitated debating if it was a 4 or 5. Now ... after reading part 3 and combining and rating all 3 as just one story I feel that the totality is a 5. I don't know why a number of authors think we can't stay interested in a story if it's over 3 or 4 pages but most of the time they hurt their story by breaking it up. Rant is over, great story, thanks.

The story had done potential but it jumped around so much and was not as clear as it could have been. It worked out in the end but it seemed hard to get there.

What a bloviating, self serving waste of time.

Great story, thank you!

I must have missed parts of this story somehow but it seemed a little disjointed.

I could only give 4 stars, but this was a heart rendering tale.

I just can’t believe some women are like that.

Bill S.

Probably the worst of the bad memes in this diatribe

1 star - crap story

3 stars.

The story jumped around too much.

I could not understand why he didn't dump the selfish bitch Amber. She forced him to see his ex wife just so her perverted view of the universe would be balanced. Didn't matter to her what he wanted, the only thing that mattered to her was what she wanted.

Out of the frying pan and into the fire for Steve. I can't see that marriage lasting. Still, he knew what a bitch she was before they got married. He must have a masochistic streak in him.

WELL, it all camalle together in the end, the wife was a cheating slut with really no remorse for what she did. The only thing she could say was "I didn't want you to find out that way" duh what does it mater what way after 20 years of marriage. Then there is the sister, somebody should shoot her. But the male paramours got there due thanks to the nerd IT guy. Good story end worth 5 stars. Of course his wife needed a little punishment then what she got.

A fairly well written mild BTB tale with the boringly predictable male fantasy ending. No really nasty people in this and the ending seemed more sad than happily ever after. Not great, but better than most in this genre.

LA

Cucks

Good happy ending. Everyone got exactly what they deserved.

the gaggle of commenters who insist on full, detailed, and complete closure of all the characters' lifelines are happy with this piece of fantasy. IMO, this conclusion is simplistic and sterile. In particular, playing the HIPPA card forcing Rooster's dismissal is OTT. In fact, in our current immediate surroundings I am forced to expose my private medical vaccination history to a completely untrained restaurant waitress. And CFO Jonathan (not Jon or John) was hoisted on his own petard "eventually"? Dream on...

I did read all three chapters to the end so apparently this is reasonably well written. Thanks for your effort and contribution, Az.

Keep 'em comin'.

Other recent comments say it!!!

All of the husbands are cut from the same cloth in these series.

Oh puulllleeze.

It was like wading through waist deep mud!

This series was very good. Thanks author.

It is hard to sympathize with Jill's situation, I do think she deserves it. I am just surprised Jimmy the cop still hooked up with Jill even though she is still on walking stick, maybe Jill does give good fellatio. She really must have had a lot of practice to be good at it -- with a lot of guys and not doing it with her husband Steve just hurts. What a selfish woman.

5/5

"I'm almost forty years old. I've lived half of my life. With the boys all grown, there was nothing left for me in the house. I needed something to fill that void. And with you always working and going on business trips, I got lonely."

You ever notice in these type of stories with the bored lonely wife like Julie you never see them ever take responsibility for their lives. Oh, they're bored and lonely. My husband doesn't compliment enough to satisfy my needy self image. Even though my husband begs me to go with him on business trips I always tell him no we can't afford that. Boo-hoo!

So, to feel better about themselves and improve their lives, do they take up a hobby? Go back to school and finish a degree or complete an advanced degree? Change their jobs and careers for something more challenging and interesting? Do volunteer work helping the needy or less fortunate?

Nope, seems like they only thing they can come up with to improve their lives is fuck other men and cheat on their hard working husbands. That always works out so well for improving your life and marriage.

Sad story. Steve got some revenge although for decent satisfaction from revenge the people need to know who did it to them. Although Jill did cheat on Steve I have to feel a little sorry for her. A marriage fails when people stop talking to each other and let life distract them from each other.

Hope her husband left for for a younger nicer woman.

How many guys did Jill have sex with? Why fuck Dan over if he never did Jill?

Good end for the story. Steve comes away with a.new, younger, wife and Jill has only loss and regrets. Perfect.

bullshit jill tried to lie about steve being the only man to rock her world ,just a little to late,.

Better

Huedogg2 is really a brain-dead moron.

fuck Amber

The story was great till the ending. The part where Steve came back home a remade and remarried man with a great car, nice clothes and a top notch job. Between the very well written and structured story and the ending, stood ***** on the page. Those ***** should have been expanded to 3 or 4 pages of story describing how the characters got from the hospital room after Jill's surgery to some sort of reunion or party or something. Still do not know what the event was all about. It is almost like the author just gave up on this story and was busy on a new project but felt he had to write something. It might have been better if the story just ended in the recovery room after her surgery and have someone else finish.

Can't believe someone was praising this bizarre, uneven psychotropic whiplasher. This writer needs to tame the expression and get some concrete perspective on paper. Way too much dreamy bs and not enough to hold the characters and story together.

Just plain weird.

Two agonizing chapters of Steve wallowing in self pity. He knew she was cheating and did nothing but agonize about it.

Then when Jill is injured in an auto accident while giving her lover oral sex while he's driving, everything changes. Steve takes electronic revenge on several enablers and arranges for Jill's lover's car to be crushed. But Jill has already filed for divorce from him!

Jill and Steve meet again several years later. Steve has morphed from a wimpy, low self esteem, introvert to a very wealthy stud with a sexy new wife. Jill's lover has left her within months of the accident. She now needs a cane to walk and gets by in a low level job as a librarian.

How'd all this happen? Steve never indicated he had a plan to radically change his life. It took the public humiliation of Jill's accident to finally motivate him to get off his dead ass and stop feeling sorry for himself and do something. Anything! But his wife even beat him to filing for divorce. It is difficult to accept that the ultra wimp the author described could possibly become the Alpha male described in the third chapter.

It took a while but he paid all back but Gloria

He didn't bother to get back in shape for Jill but did for?

I am tired of hearing it still you but I realize it is necessary for cheaters to try to pass off guilt as remorse password forgetful. Johntwheels@aol

I have no idea how that last anony commenter can say that after reading this. Clearly anonny is either uneducated or decided to NOT read it, skip to the last page, and give this a "1* cuck story" type lame response. This is my third time through and still love it, easily still earns my 5*

Anony, I think you need to learn some patience and how to read.

You write stories about weak pussies such as yourself. You cuckmeister lifestyle is your business so please don't write anymore beta cuck shit.

If I were voting on this story, I’d give it two stars. In my opinion, two shorter chapters, written more succinctly, could have told this story just fine. Like I said, just my 2 cents.

He already knows it wasn't a one night stand. He HEARD her talking about "wasting" 20 years. She gave lover things she didn't give him. What is there to talk about?

As he says, the move for to better the family. SHE'S the one with the newer car while his car is approaching 200k miles!

Did I miss something? What did Dan do to him? Gloria cheated on Dan with Chris; Dan had nothing to do with anything.

"That was the sex talking." - It's always "the sex talking." Must be on another page from the "Cheaters' Handbook"!

Why is he being so phony when he went out of his way to ruin Chris, Gloria and Dan?

How wonderful that NOW she says that he's the only one to "rock her world," meanwhile she still didn't answer the question about Jimmy!

It was interesting to read the reposted comments from the author below. Unfortunately all this things you glossed over were important for the story. Mary was the catalyst for Jill's affair, but you only introduced her right at the end. Similarly the last paragraph was an odd wrap-up of the regulation violation subplot... that definitely needed elaborating on.

It was nice to see Jill's life turn to shit after the way she betrayed her husband. Steve had let himself go and wasnt paying his wife enough attention, but that was no excuse for the way she just destroyed their marriage. It was nice to see he had addressed all that and landed a much hotter younger wife, to really make Jill bitter about her mistakes.

I'm not surprised that Steve had no regrets about the way it all worked out... Jill sounded like a frigid, uptight bitch refusing to ever give him a blowjob; kicking her to the curb was a no-brainer.

Pretty much everything worked out in the end. Too bad Mary didn't have a life altering accident too. Enjoyed this a lot.

But the devil in me sort of wished that mary the evil sister in law was hit by a bus.

Personally I was rooting for the hard working guy. But as I look back on my life I realize that a missed a lot of opportunities because of my love of my job.

All I can say is this is a damn good story.

I read in this section for exactly what you provided, gut wrenching emotions. Excellent job.

I think Steve viewed Dan and Gloria as the catalysts for the affair. Dan hired Chris as a handyman and Gloria used him to get back at Dan for his eye. That led to Jill catching Gloria and the dominoes kept on falling.

Why did Steve need to destroy "wandering eye" Dan's business? He may have hired Chris as a handyman and lust over Jill's "all natural" boobs, but he never felt her up or banged her (as far as we know)....

My first dip into your work -- I'll be back! Thanks!

I’m sorry, standing by your husband during some career swings does NOT equate to forgiving CHEATING!

"She doesn't need you any more." – Good! I hope she doesn’t come looking for any help!

I'm not sure but didn't some comments indicate a possible ulterior motive to Amber pushing him to check up on Jill?

Here the fantastic meeting for the ex cheating wife, ex husband and....

I think the best and not one of the best!

Comments from the Author

I guess there are a few things that I need to address...

For those of you who are saying that Jill got off "scot free", I suppose you and I have different definitions of what that entails. As it's been pointed out to me, she got the house, got her studs (Chris and then Jimmy), and only got a limp from the accident.

My rebuttal for the house: Would Steve truly want Gloria and Dan as neighbors? Not really. Besides the marital bed was soiled by Jill's infidelity, so there's no reason to stay at the house.

My omission (which is my fault): Steve worked at the hospital for 10 years, so he would have a nice sized pension. Jill wouldn't have gotten any of that because of the equity in the house.

My rebuttal for "her studs": Steve loved her when she wasn't pretty. He was there for 20 years, regardless of the good or bad times. They had a wonderful life together. It wasn't until she started feeling the pressure from her sister and her neighbor about how bad Steve was and how good Chris was. She succumbed to their hateful words and thought Chris was much better for her than Steve. Huh... Chris lasted all of 3 months. A great loving relationship there. And now, she's with Jimmy - who can't commit to a long term relationship, and she's in constant fear of his eyes wandering. So she traded in a 20 year MARRIAGE for an unsteady love life that could lead to her being lonely as she gets older.

Yea, I can see how she got away "clean".

My omission (which again is my fault): Perhaps I should have included more about Mary's influence over her sister. In-laws will never be satisfied. Though in Mary's case, I should have included how she's a divorcee and how Jill, who had a good marriage until Mary stepped in, was listening to her advice. Why should someone listen to a divorcee for marriage advice? Because she's family? Well, Mary and Jill can now live in misery together because they're both single. However, I will take ownership of not including this in the story.

My rebuttal for "only a limp": Whether she was paralyzed or walks with a limp, the physical injury is going to be a physical reminder of the day that everything changed for her. I went with the cane because it goes to show that she's almost recovered from her accident, but that she'll never be the same again. A symbolic gesture indicating that her loss of her husband will never make her the same again.

My omission (which again is my fault): Perhaps I didn't make this clear, and it might be my medical background. A spinal cord injury sometimes takes up to a year to recover from. I jumped over five years of rehab, and perhaps I should have included that. You would have seen that she was living with her sister during that time.

My omission for the boys: Well, they were 18 or older. Both going on to college or getting ready to be on their own. So while I can acknowledge that their feeling of betrayal would have added to the misery felt by Jill, I did not address that. (Again, my fault).

My omission for the HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, so it's HIPAA and not HIPPA): I should have made mention somewhere that Chris tried to fire back at Steve and make a HIPAA complaint to the hospital, indicating that Steve used protected health information to carry out his revenge. So Chris thought he could win on Steve's level, thinking he could outsmart Steve. But Steve had that base covered. And for the record, the IT Department of hospitals have to (or should have to) log their technical support of accounts, labeling why they're "viewing" a certain account. With HIPAA, it's a "need to know" basis. If you have need to see the information to provide care (or in the IT department's case) provide support, then it needs to be documented. In Chapter 2, Steve came up with a bogus reason for his viewing of the records.

As for "justification" for cheating? There is no real justification for cheating. Communication should have been key. The problem that existed between the two was that Jill was being influenced by anyone but the person she loved. Steve cut his losses and got out.

Jill's reasoning were simple (and I hope I conveyed them, but maybe I didn't): Jill was experiencing the early signs of "Empty Nest" syndrome. Her kids were starting to move out and she was feeling old. She started going to the gym, and was starting to get stares from younger men. The feelings she was experiencing was that she was "going back in time" to when she was a teenager. She never got to experience the back seat of a boy's car, so she was getting that with Chris. Gloria's subtle influence of taking on a boy-toy didn't help matters. Nor did listening to her sister who thought that Steve wasn't good enough for her (then again, it would have been hard to please Mary regardless - Jill should have fought for her husband against Mary). In the end, Jill suffers the most - a physical fling leaves her with a physical ailment and a lifetime of loneliness.

So overall, I will agree with my detractors that some details were missed in an effort to "get the story out". But this story gives me a baseline, and shows me where I need to improve, so hopefully the next one will be better than the first.

And heck, my comments are a good Chapter 4, no?

Jill loses weight and likes the attention enough that she doesn't stop anything that many would call inappropriate. She doesn't try to work things out with her husband before things get bad. She only thinks of herself. She does thing she doesn't do for her husband. She talks about wasting 20 years of her life. Shells for words from guys that only want to get in her pants. She starts the divorce based on her sister's advice. Yeah, sounds like she loves her husband.

Mary doesn't think about anyone else. Jill definitely doesn't think about anyone besides herself. Such a selfish disrespecting slut.

And Jill trying to tell Steve that he was the only one that ring her bell. Like she didn't say she wasted her life with Steve. Again with the selfishness because things haven't gone her way, so she tries to get back with him.

Did she ever truly love him? My guess is no.

Nothing happened to the kid, it was just part of character development

What happened with amber child mention in a eatlier chapter.

Your style of writing is exhausting to read. I scanned numerous, incredibly wordy paragraphs, trying to get to the meat of the story. Way too long for the predictability of the story & the ending. Really, you need to cut back on the meaningless rambling thoughts & other BS in the story. It's easy to lose the reader if the story becomes boring, and it did. Sorry ! Keep trying. There's potential there.

You already answered all of my comments in that one great comment.

You followed up on some of the people but, you forgot one. What happened with the bitch Mary? The bitch acted like she didn't know much every story has three sides. Her side, his side and some where in the middle is the truth! Mary spouted how much her sister needed love, what was her reaction to seeing the great loving jerk boy who only thought with his dick not working and dumping her sister. The sister who had a good man, who's only fault was working hard to support his family! I think she knew what was going to happen because she was jealous Jill had a good man and she wanted him. What happened to that Bitch!

I think my previous comment indicated that I believed the hubby was partially to blame. Not, of course for what she ultimately did to him, but for allowing himself to go physically. However, I just picked up on his comment about offering to take her on business trips. She says they couldn't afford to do that, and yet still tries to blame him for working too much and neglecting her. Using her same reasoning, he couldn't stop working so hard because they needed the money. So it is hubby that appears to have truly made the effort.

It takes his entire life to actually get some balls to stand up for himself? If he hadn't been the biggest pussy on the planet in the first place, he could have kept his wife. I hate reading about people who are so fucked up.

Too many plotholes for me, as others have said. This is a pity, as the story held my interest for a good while. Only one person truly rocked my world. Really? Other than the fork lift guy of course.

Read all three for 2nd time. Familiar as I read but could not remember specifics.

So many stories, so little time

Guy got cucked so hard he swapped genders... oh it's a typo:

Steve offered her arm to Jill

The story line as well the narration is good. Each sequence is nicely penned. Thanks for a good story.

Revenge is good.

But what the fuck did Dan do?

Hired the douchebag Chris?

For that his livelihood needs to be destroyed? Did you forget that you wrote that it was Gloria fucking around on Dan? The same thing his wife did, with the same douchebag.

Yet you destroy Dan and give everything left to his cheating cunt Gloria?

Stupid. Absolutely stupid. How could you lose your own plot in just a few pages of story.

Idiot.

He was damn if he did and damned if didn't. He was caught cheating with the souse in a catch 22 or catch 74. When he went to work she'd say "I need you at home with me money can't buy everything." If he was home all the time she would say "we need money you need a good jobbbba." No matter what you do I'm going to screw the guy with the big money.

While he was talking to her after his plan worked he was having second thoughts about starving her out and cutting her off but, the writer wiped those thoughts away by again making her threatening to go back to her friend with benefits and to take the kids and leaving her husband penniless DID THAT MAKE SENSE!

When he's working giving her a good life she takes him for granted and cheats, where is that that never happens.Her Sister aided her to in cheating (what are sisters for and Brothers don't tell either unless they are cheating with the spouse)

I don't like cheaters but, you can't just make up shit so out of line and try to think we will accept it.

In the real world she would have had to try and kill the kids and be in jail before the court would not give her coustody and make him pay to take care of the kids he made no matter how little he made.

"Over the lips and threw the nose lookout pockets here it comes"

Small apartment, little house or living with her parents in a little house PAY.

I don't see the guy with the insurance money killing himself with the loot he got for his wife's death. They would have just taken the kids and ran Like thieves in the night.

What was in that town that made them not able or want to leave. They would have left even if the water made you not age.

Your story was too long and not on track for the real world, for that matter any world outside of your head. In fact a lot of the folks in your story opened the door for some serious ass kicking physically and legally. (remember he is a lawyer) The old woman spitting in her face young punk saying crap about getting in her pants for a three some. The writer made them weak of a fault to accept treatment like that you'd have to be brain dead. They would own the grayridge and either raise the rates so high they would have to find a place to live in town, remember no one could leave that town. Well not in your Bazaro world that plan with the graybridge worked so well, a bunch of senior citizens all with perfect mental facilities drove a lawyer to kill himself wow talk about a stretch. Also nearly everyone knew the plan even her mother yet no one talked. Then she whine to her mother about wanting her family back. Be real she'd have a better chance of getting ice water in hell in that world but, maybe not.

At that senior living home they have better security than the government. Good grammar, story needs work.

Excellent, loved it. Good dialog, good plot , excellent characterizations'

Some how I missed this when it came out

Chilley

When you are young, there are the physical pleasures of the world. Then come strong emotions mixed with those pleasures. As age adds experience and hopefully wisdom; understanding, judgement and pure love take over. This is not the case in many people's lives. They get stunted along the way. They get to romantic infatuation and never truly learn how to love. What's the difference? Romantic love/infatuation is like lightening striking and causing a fire. Those that find it have that fire until it rains and is extinguished. Those that have learned how to love have learned the skills to start their own fires wherever and whenever they need/want to bring love into the world.

I am not sure that anyone in this story really ever learned how to make fire. Or if anyone even understands the difference.