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"Well, if you say so," he mumbled, "I'm gonna run to the store to grab stuff for dinner. Wanna come?"
"I, um," she hesitated, "I think I'll stay here and prep. That okay?"
Shawn felt slightly awkward, as Kendall never declined an opportunity to go to the store with him. He knew now that what happened earlier was likely causing an issue between them.
"Sure," Shawn shrugged as he stood and headed for the front door, not wanting to make things worse.
Kendall peeked at him awkwardly from the couch as he walked away, hoping he wasn't thinking anything of her strange behavior.
"Be back soon," Shawn waved as he slipped his shoes on and disappeared out the door.
"Kay," Kendall mumbled quietly.
Kendall remained on the couch, reflecting on their bizarre interactions. Her emotions were a mix of embarrassment and confusion. She had never had these kinds of thoughts about Shawn before. It made her nervous as she tried not to spiral. The thought of being lusted after by her brother was nearly infectious. It worried her that she was almost thrilled by such a fucked up thing. Any typical sister would be repulsed by their brother, but Kendall was not. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she didn't find Shawn ugly or gross. In truth, it was quite the opposite.
"Ew, no!" Kendall belted out, standing up from the couch and heading towards the kitchen, "that's enough of that."
She finally resolved to put these thoughts behind her as she prepped for dinner. It was the right thing to do. Nothing good would come from wondering about such forbidden things. It was time to put a lid on these thoughts and lose the container.
- COMMENTS
Nestic8 months agoI enjoy, how you let your characters and your story unfold. I like your style and your choice of words. Excellent. More please…
ScottishTexanabout 1 year agoI have to agree with the others who have commented on how short your chapters are. At the rate that they are posting on the site, in other words frequently, it's fairly obvious that you wrote the entire story before submitting the first installment. That being the case, maybe you can find a way to merge two chapters together and submit a larger installment each day.
The character development and building is very good but even receiving a chapter every other day still doesn't mitigate the reader's frustration with such short installments. Just when you're getting back into the story again, then suddenly it's over until day after tomorrow. That's not teasing...that's creating frustration.
I'm really close to doing here what I did with another author who had a good story but insisted on dropping 6000 word or less installments twice a week. I walked away from his story for 2 full months. Only when the final installment had published did I go back and read the entire thing from beginning to end.
Even the best story ever written can become tedious if you don’t give your readers a fair shake. 4/5
Anonymousabout 1 year ago3500 words ain't gonna cut it mate... Otherwise it's looking a bloody good series!
