All Comments on 'Shawn and Kendall Ch. 07-08'

Good good good! 5 ⭐️, but…

Why does Kendall always compare Shawn with Bradley? He’s still on her mind? And

if you do go on to another chapter (although it seems like you ended it here), when

do things get consummated between S & K? ‘Rents wont be back for a couple of days…

Again, great series!

M

Okay, I realize that this is NOT the real world, but a fantasy-based piece of fiction. But still and all, there are times when real-world rules should still apply. That having been said, let me quote:

~~~"Shit," he mumbled, placing his hand defensively over his erection, "sorry."

Kendall's eyes wandered up and down his body curiously, desperately wishing to continue.

"Can I see it?" She asked hesitantly, not knowing how he would react.

Shawn looked up at her, surprised.

"Seriously?" He asked.

Kendall nodded her head excitedly, biting her lip with a playful smirk.~~~

Alright, so here is my problem with all of this. Kendall has been in a steady four-year relationship with Bradley. And on top of that, you have her occupation as Nursing. As a Nurse, she would have already had extensive anatomy classes and training in addition to her real-world experience living with Bradley and trying to get impregnated by him. SO WHY ARE YOU WRITING KENDALL AS IF SHE IS A VIRGIN HAVING HER FIRST EXPERIENCE WITH A COCK? It is so out of place!

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I'm really enjoying the new pace now that you have merged chapters into a longer installment. The longer installments work well and I do not feel that anything was tragically lost by doing it that way.

Just like Marvin just said, it feels like you are ending it here with only the implication that they will "go all the way" before the weekend is over. I am certain that Marvin agrees with me that you shouldn't just cut it off right here. That would be pretty much the same as a girl demanding that you pull out before you are able to cum inside of her. It is very unsatisfying! lol 5/5

@Marvin2017, I just thought the opposite, found it had a little too less Bradley. Found it interesting finding out, that he never went down on her. Probably tasted bad too.

If no next part ever comes, this is a good ending.

Ofcourse seeing the date, we could get a lot of chapters. I would love to continue reading them. I love the slow build up, how they enjoy each other. I hate stories that are solely about sex, as the act, and not the emotional band. And you @SnkShorts, shown perfectly how to build that up with all the details. I loved it.

About as perfect as a story gets. Excellent writing. I completely enjoyed how S&K played out.

So it really was a slow burn, 8 chapters to get to the first act.

Now, all that would make this one a blockbuster, is to have 8+ more chapters, that is of course if the author has the balls to do it.

@ScottishTexan, you should look at the date of the story, that was published yesterday, at least wait a month before complaining about the way it ended.

It could end this way, it's not a bad ending. But like many others of course we hope for a next installment in a few days...

@Anonymous who criticized my comment.

Why don't you put your name on your negative comments? You're opinion is irrelevant because you have to hide your identity. Crawl back under your rock and keep hiding.

Many chapters to get to a fastpaced act - slow for the 4play, edging and teasing - but keep them coming

@scottishTexan, I don't publish anonymous, because I want to, I publish anonymous because I don't have an account, but then maybe I should create an account then. I didn't write a negative comment to you. I just pointed out that it was written yesterday, or now a day before that. So it could be the end, but it doesn't have too.

If that's all you can complain about, I'm sorry to offend you. Your reply is probably just as irrelevant as mine then. It was a good read, better than a lot of other stories out here, that start good, and then never seem to end, because the author lost interest, or moved on, who knows. Of course if @SnKShorts writes another chapter, lots of us would be happy to read it, me too.

This is great - slow burn is the best. She's a great character.

Finally, you took literary edging to the limit. All the "Constructive" criticism be damned, it is your story. Would I write it differently, of course, but it's still your story. But don't you dare end this without these two having lots of love making and even just fucking. Five Stars...

ScottishTexan makes a valid technical point and a balanced assessment. But in the imaginary, if rather unlikely world the author has created, if she's in love with Shawn by then, which appears to be the case, she's not asking to see a cock, she wants to see his cock, the one she knows gets very hard for her. That makes sense to me. For me, though, because the story overall is so superbly crafted I can't even dwell on any of the minor inconsistencies.