by guysguy999
Started well. Then after the wife came home, everything turned to shit. The writing, I mean. Too abrupt. No emotion. Over the top. Everything one hates in a story.
You should have helped her out those years later, always take the higher road, not for outward appearance, no but trust me you will feel better and the persons that are around you will hopefully learn from your kindness and inturn do likewise
Started badly with the puking and went downhill from there. Why even bother writing jf this is the best you can do?
Hahaha. Many of the commenters thought this was serious! And they complain about your description of the gun!! Hahahahaha. BTB lunatics are hilarious. 😆
Nothing but trash, wasn't any emotion in the story, not even a real story to even consider getting into, my pet pig that can't read or write does better work than this rolling around in the mud zero stars from me
Do a little research on the props you use. A Glock 19 is a striker fire, double action only, pistol, (ie no exposed hammer). Then the twins things was a little over the top, but hey this is fiction after all. Solid three stars.
Too much over the top with cliche for my taste. Zero character development, and the plot could probably be described in one sentence.
What the hell was this? Skimmed through this garbage only. To weird to read. Like someboud pointed out, too stupid to rate.
You have a long way to go my man.
Props, though, for having the guts to put this out in the world.
Has to be brilliant satire, as no one would have written this a serious piece. Speaking of a serious piece, you should have stuck with the 226. But even with that particular pistol is so smooth that you don’t get that loud click when you pull back the hammer.
Dude, you need to build a story. This was like bullet points put together. Details, details, details....
I hope this garbage is recyclable, but from reading it, much of it already is. This was the dumbest line in the context of where it was in this story: >>"Rock, you weren't supposed to find out!"<< Come on, OP, there was no emotion, no feeling except MC's butthurtness, and even that was silly a juvenile. The wife was like a prop. Also, unless MC kills the Lothario as part of an interstate crime, a Federal crime, on Federal property or under certain other special provisos, he's going to State Prison, not Federal. Too short, too silly and too many loose ends. Your one saving grace, is that unlike 99.9999% of the other writers on here, the aged wife wasn't still a stone fox, impervious to the ravages of time, childbirth and aging. Two stars.
What absolute crap...why bother wasting your and our time, please retire from 'writing' I use the term loosely
1 star for failing to make this parody even slightly amusing. Pitiful stuff really.
I might be more shallow than I have previously thought, but this is putrid .
I can only assume this was intended as a parody of the entire genre of btb stories, but written by some delusional, confused cuck. Sorry, that was redundant. Of course we all know how cucks are without restating the obvious.
hint: Glocks don't have exposed hammers to 'cock back'. It's striker fired, and there is no way to 'ease the hammer back forward' either. If you're going to pretend to know something about a gun, even listing a specific model (another hint, the model wouldn't be hyphenated, either). Just one of a ton of unrealistic elements for such a short, incomplete, and flawed 'story' attempt.
How to I get a refund? Although the read was free.....I spent too much! U got the right idea but it's shallow as hell dude!
please stop writing ,you obviously dont know how to write a story................
Some "revenge" is just plain evil, she turned him into someone he was not, I would have hired her as the maid. She'd have employment, spending money, and a "small" maid quarters. All the while seeing what she fucked off! Sweet 💓
Please, I know the stories on this site are fiction, but they should some semblance of reality
Oh, this was absolute, utter nonsense. He kicks her out, then moves to Saudi Arabia with two beautiful young women and then sees his destitute wife in Saudi Arabia as well? His destitute wife who was living under a bridge now has the dough to fly to Riyadh and yet is still an apparently homeless person? I must have missed something cause this makes absolutely no f-ing sense!
This must be a prank. At least I’ll treat it that way. A hammer on a Glock? Riyad? Dog kibble? This was amusing but has zero substance.
Good catch on the Glock-19. I had a SIG P226 in an earlier draft, but later changed it and didn't catch the continuity error. First story, hard to get every single detail right!
Sadly, he didn't win the lottery too or had a dead uncle, who left him a fortune. Nice fantasy. At least he was not one of those wimpy cuckolds lurking around here. in many of these Loving Wives' stories.
Well done !!!!
Easily the worst story I have read so far this year . Didn't expect it to be this early .
Might I suggest you give up writing until such time as you have some kind of a worthwhile story to tell .
Pretty good satire, would've been more entertaining if the ridiculousness was turned up a bit.
Why would "chiseled hunks" want to fuck a fat ugly woman? Just because she's married?
\
And what's the fascination with "steely, masculine shafts? Is he gay?
Just when you think it couldn’t get any worse, it does. It’s bad when there’s two one page stories in a single day you can’t get through.
The impaired eraders here don't have a sense of humor. Hilarious. Nice parody of the BTB LW genre.
Yeah, right. Dream on. Negative 10 stars. Don't think it could get any worse.
Rather pitiful misogynist MC, and totally juvenile plot.
But adequately written for what it is.
Wow. What rock did you crawl out from under. You obviously know nothing of living in Arabia or you wouldn't have made yourself sound so stupid. Here's a suggestion, stop while you're behind and never try writing again.
"I pulled the hammer back with a tactile click"........Glock's don't have hammers...they're striker fired pistols.
I like the basic story idea, but hey make it at least somewhat real-ish.
This is so ... warped that it is not enjoyable.
Riyadh??? That stupidity alone earned this terribly written excuse of a story 1 * 😎
He pulled back the hammer on his Glock 19. I take it you know nothing about guns.
Glocks are striker fired and do not have hammers. Also, did he really walk up to his wife's lovers office with his pistol in his hand and no one noticed? Not bad for a revenge story, but a bit over the top on believability.
Please have a story that borders on reasonable. There is absolutely nothing here but a story written by a young man fapping so hard that he can't be bothered to put any effort into this very simplistic, "I hate you and I'm perfect and wonderful" tale.
One of the biggest bullshit stories ever. I‘m really sad to have my time tossed by readind such crap.
You should've put this in the Humor section. You're going to get shredded here because a lot of "Anony-mouses" are going to take this seriously. I deem it "chuckle-worthy," so 4*.
It isn’t clear to me whether this is a failed attempt at parody or just a failed attempt at a story.
Looking at scores readers didn't realise this was satire ... er it is isn't it?
Thank you for the laugh. Well at least I assume it was written as a joke, because it has to be possibly the worst story ever posted on here.
Is this an attempt at satire? No one can possibly think this is a story, right?
I wanted to say "a little". But that was WAY over-the-top nonsense. Poorly written to boot. Try again.