She was a Ticking Bomb

"Peter was a creature of habit and he was singular in his pursuits. By that, I mean he hunted pussy. If one pussy was unavailable, another would do. He always stayed at the same hotel, but he hunted a number of bars. Some nights he scored. Some nights he struck out. Some parking lots were dimly lit. I could afford to be patient.

"Peter may have been fast and agile on the football field, but he couldn't dodge a metal pipe to save his life, or his knees as it turned out. To his credit, it was dark, and someone came up behind him before he knew it."

Dave looked at his friend with a new appreciation.

"No, don't go looking at me like that. I was playing poker with three friends all that night. I even lost $50 to each of them - exactly $50 to each of them. I was gracious and I paid in advance."

I looked my friend in the eyes and I saw that he understood.

"Here is the thing: you can only heal a marriage with a spouse who wants to heal it with you and you won't know if you have that spouse until you confront her, put it all out in the open, and see if she still wants what she's gambled away. You're not superman and you aren't perfect, so you need to forgive yourself for all the stupid things you've done and all the stupid things that you are going to do before this is over. In the end, either she faces up to what she's done and does the hard work with you, or you're not losing as much as you think you are. You won't know until you start."

My friend looked as bad as he did when he first sat down, but he was nodding. He understood. For better or worse, he knew what he had to do.

"One more thing..." I looked around again to make sure we were not being overheard. "Revenge doesn't solve anything, but it does get back something that was taken from you. So, if you take my advice, don't get caught. First things first - tend to your marriage. You have more questions than answers at least where the important questions are concerned. Go get your answers and ask yourself what you want and what you won't accept. Remember, neither of you can change the past. You can only live in the future. Go figure out what the future has to offer before you make any decisions."

"Does the pain ever stop?"

I looked at my friend. "I'll let you know. I can tell you it hurts less in time and it hurts less often. After a while, it's almost like the memory of pain instead of pain itself. At least, it seems that way to me now, but I have a wife who deeply regrets what she did. You need to find out what you have before you start making any decisions."

We spent the next hour nursing our beers and then we both headed home. I headed home to a loving wife, my friend and partner since high school, who I had lost and now found. Dave headed home to the unknown. No matter what he would find there, he knew he had friends in his life he could turn to. He was not alone.

*****

So, there you have it. Sometimes a marriage fails and sometimes it can be saved. Sometimes a cheating spouse deserves revenge and sometimes they both deserve to feel whole again. It all depends on what they both want most of all and their willingness to trust again.