She Wolf Ch. 01

"I kept pretty much to myself at first. I had to...to..."

"Be sure you could handle it. You can't control it? Turn around if you don't want to see me naked."

"That is certainly NOT what I..." She spun around to look out a window as his pants hit the floor. A slight groan had her turn back around and gasp. The big wolf stood before her, waiting for her to make the first move. She crept forward with her trembling arm outstretched to touch the fur on his head and neck. He didn't make any threatening moves, so she walked around him, stroking the fur on his back and sides. She studied his feet. When she faced him again he slowly curled his lips to bare his fangs – long and sharp – but made no threatening moves. It was display only.

"What...what are you?"

He stepped forward and nuzzled her briefly, then retreated. He turned away from her and began to change before her eyes. Again there was a slight groan as Charles reappeared, facing away from her. He pulled up his pants and pulled his shirt back on.

"You are, too."

Janet managed a weak nod and tears sprung to her eyes. Charles stepped forward and enveloped her in his arms. "It's okay. Your secret is safe with me."

She clung to him until she composed herself. "How did you know?"

He smiled at her. "Your eyes and your scent."

"But...but...how can you just change like that? In the middle of the day!"

"I take it you haven't learned to control yours. I've only seen you at night around the full moon. It can be controlled, you know. Didn't your parents teach you?"

She shook her head. "They're not lycan. It's my grandparents. I guess I haven't spent enough time with them. I can tell you don't believe me, but it skipped a generation. My parents were carriers of the trait, but not lycan themselves. I think a few generations back there was another skip."

His brow furrowed. "I've never heard of that. Are your grandparents part of a pack?"

Janet shook her head. "No, I don't think so. As far as I know everyone has been more or less loners. We lived close enough to civilization that a pack would have been hunted."

Charles nodded and placed a large hand on her shoulder. "Will you be out tonight?"

"It's my last night this cycle. We change at full moon as well as one night before and after. I...I've got to go. If I leave now I can get to my grandparents before dark. I need to talk to them."

She started for the bedroom to quickly pack, but stopped in the doorway and turned back towards him. "We mated. Does that mean..."

"It means you're my wolf, but not necessarily my woman. I leave that up to you."

She raked her fingers through her short blond hair. "Shit. That's something else I have to talk to them about."

"I don't mean to overload you with things about your life. Go. Talk to them."

Janet looked at him with new eyes. Is it possible she's really his mate for life? But she doesn't even know him. Or does she know all she really needs to know?

"I'm not pressing you into anything, Janet. Nothing could be further from the truth. But it's truth you need to face. Ask your grandparents if they can teach you how to control it. I remember how painful the shift was at first. Now that I can control it it's merely a slight discomfort."

He walked with her out to their vehicles. "Good luck, Janet. When you get back we can talk some more. Maybe we could run together, even. The places you like to hang out are some of my favorites, too."

When she was in her car he leaned in. "You've chosen a good den. I would never disturb it, but I wouldn't let another disturb it, either."

With his words ringing in her ears she put the jeep into gear and jolted down to the highway.

***

"Janet. What a nice surprise. We were thrilled when you called and asked to visit."

Janet plopped down on the sofa in the living room, raked her hands through her hair and sighed.

"Oh, dear. I fear this isn't a social visit. What is it dear?"

"It's about my...my abilities."

Gertrude and Henry exchanged looks and sat quietly in chairs facing the sofa. "We knew you'd have questions eventually. What do you need to know?"

"Can it be controlled? I mean, can I do it whenever I want to or does it only have to be around the full moon?"

Henry reached over and patted his granddaughter's leg. "There's a lot more to you than you know."

Gertrude said quietly "We didn't want to push you or try to make you something you don't want to be. It was so hard for you to accept. You wanted to be normal so badly, and you had dreams of being an artist. You had to be ready to know more. Something brought this on. Another wolf?"

"Yeah."

She proceeded to fill her grandparents in on most of what had happened – only omitting the mating.

"Well, that is a lot to digest, isn't it? Let's take it point by point. Yes, it can be controlled. At first it takes a lot of concentration and willpower, but it eventually becomes second nature."

"Do you...?"

Gertrude arose and shed her clothes. With a faint groan she quickly shifted to wolf.

"How...how do you do that? Charles says it is less painful than the shift I go through."

Gertrude shifted back to human and dressed. "It is a lot easier as you get used to it. Tonight, after supper we can go over some exercises. I think you're due to shift anyway tonight."

"My last night this month."

"While I was wolf just now I noted another scent about you."

Henry steepled his hands and touched his chin for a moment. "This may be more personal than you wish to tell, but have you mated with this wolf Charles?"

Janet's face reddened. "Umm...uh...well...I mean, I'm twenty seven. I've had sex."

"That's not what I mean. You are perhaps the most intelligent one in the family. You know very well what I mean."

"It...happened so fast. I wasn't ready for it, but he wasn't vicious or anything. I mean, he held me tight as he...you know. It wasn't unpleasant, but not like the pleasure of human sex."

Gertrude put a hand over her mouth to hide a smile. "Except it was pleasure for him."

Janet had to laugh. "Yeah. He seemed satisfied." She turned serious. "But does that mean we're..."

Henry nodded. "For life. Yes. As a wolf. When you mix in the human form things get complicated."

Janet sighed. "There's a lot I have to learn."

Gertrude paused on her way to the kitchen. "Can you spend a few days here? I'm sure we can make some progress."

"My art is my job. My time is my own. I can spend as long as necessary."

***

The next weekend Janet drove home to see her parents. If they heard about a visit with grandma and grandpa without a visit home they would be very disappointed.

Wanda threw her arms around Janet. "We're so glad to see you! You have to tell us all about your work."

Clark teased "Any boyfriends?"

"Well, uh, there may be some news along those lines."

The dinner table was filled with idle chit-chat. After dessert Janet led her parents into the living room.

"There's a bit more to the story than I've told you. I have met a man, yes. I wouldn't say he's exactly a boyfriend, but he's something else. He's like me."

Wanda gripped Clark's arm and tears sprang into her eyes. "We'd hoped..."

"I know you've hoped I could lead something approaching a normal life. I've tried, really I have. I live alone in the woods where nobody can see my difference. But there are others out there, too. Others like me besides Grandma and Grandpa. I've learned what some others can do. You should know I visited with Grandma and Grandpa and found out more about myself."

Clark and Wanda remained silent.

"Look, mom, dad. I love you and I know you've always wanted what's best for me. I learned to hide my true nature, thinking that somehow I'd turn out normal. But I'm not normal. That doesn't mean you did anything wrong or that I love you less. I'm starting to embrace my true nature. I think it will make me happy."

"All we've wanted has been for you to be happy. It was such a shock when you began to change at puberty. Growing up you were just like all the other children, and we hoped it would skip another generation."

"I know. Somehow I'd hoped that, too. High school was so hard. I couldn't date on certain nights. I couldn't go to the prom because of the moon that night. I was almost found out one night at college when I didn't get far enough away from the dorm by dark. But I like my life. It's just time to embrace all of it."

"What about dating this man?"

"Here's the thing. He's lycan, as I said. I didn't know that until just the other day. He's actually been protecting me in the woods. One night a big cat stalked me and he fought it. I may owe my life to him."

Clark leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. Wanda fidgeted.

"You might as well know we've mated. I'm not saying we went to bed and had sex. We mated, as wolves. I didn't know anything about him, but he had chosen me."

"What's going to come of that?"

Janet shook her head. "I don't know. I just don't know. I've got so much to learn." She looked from one to the other. "I only want you to know, no matter what happens, I will always be your daughter."

***

Janet unpacked slowly, thinking about all her grandparents had taught her. It was hard, very hard to control her nature.

Sitting at her easel the scene was indelible in her mind. She didn't need the sketch pad to add the wolf fighting the big cat – the act of drawing it on paper had seared it into her memory. When it was finished she put her brushes down and stepped back to look at her creation. That wolf – Charles – had tossed that cat like a rag doll. And he healed right before her eyes.

A sudden rainstorm had her standing at a window, watching the raindrops trickle down the glass. She had the power, too, but had never explored it. Strength. Healing. The ability to shift at will. All things that had remained dormant inside her until Charles and her grandparents had ignited her desire to bring them out.

Shifting at will. How useful would that have been in Boone studying for her studio art degree at Appalachian State? No slipping out on certain nights, no matter the weather. No questions about her behavior that required inventive answers. Getting her MFA at Western Carolina University she had the same problem. At least both schools were in the mountains and it was easy to get lost in the heavily wooded hills. The schools had been chosen largely for their location.

This cabin in upstate New York was ideal. The cabin on twenty acres was far off the beaten track, and she rarely encountered other humans unless she went into town. Of course there were hunters to worry about, but so far she'd managed to avoid them.

Turning around, she sighed. Might as well practice.

Janet stripped off her clothes and took a moment to look at herself in the full length mirror on the bedroom wall. Nice build if she said so herself. Other girls at school bragged about their big breasts, but Janet thought large breasts were too much trouble. She cupped a breast with her hand. A nice handful. Big enough to be noticed under her clothes but small enough that she didn't have to wear a bra all the time. Nice hips. Long legs. Toned flat belly with a trimmed triangle of blond hair. Running as a wolf seemed to keep her body in shape. Blond hair long enough to be pulled back into a short ponytail, but not long enough to get in the way when she painted.

Janet curled her lips back to study her teeth. Strong and white. Only one girl in college had remarked on her longer than usual canines. With a start he realized that she'd never seen herself as a wolf. Charles mentioned that her blue eyes were unusual for a wolf.

Legend had it vampires couldn't be seen in a mirror. What about wolves? She'd have to check that out. So far she had always changed outdoors in some secret place where she could undress unnoticed. Undressing was necessary to avoid ripping and ruining clothing during the body change. There was so much she didn't know. Her head spun with everything she had heard from her grandparents.

Steeling herself she took a deep breath. This was it. No full moon and broad daylight.

They had told her it was easier to start when lying down, so she stretched out on the floor and cleared her mind. She visualized the wolf – brought it to vivid life in her mind.

The familiar pains began. Every bone in her body screamed in agony as she felt the shift begin.

She couldn't hold it and lay on the floor gasping and sweating from the effort and pain. It was hard enough during the full moon, but then nature took over and the shift happened without any effort on her part. Now she had to will it.

When her breathing returned to normal she closed her eyes and tried again. Pain shot through her, but she focused on the wolf image and tried not to scream. In her head it sounded like the screech of metal scraping on metal as bones lengthened or shortened. Keep the image – keep the image – keep the image. Ignore the pain.

When the pain stopped she found herself breathing heavily – panting. Tentatively she opened her eyes and saw paws. She jumped up onto four feet and ran around the room. As a test she should go outside and see if the shift held on the actual daylight. So what if it was raining!

Oops. She had forgotten to leave the door cracked open. Without thumbs she couldn't open it. Bedroom window! The window was cracked open and she used her snout to nudge it open wider. Then, she leapt through the opening onto the soggy ground. Nothing happened! The shift held!

Exhilarated, she ran around the cabin several times before leaping back inside through the window.

She shook off the water from her coat; it had stayed on the outer fur and not penetrated to the skin, as nature had intended. Trotting over to the mirror, she looked for her image. There she was. Janet the wolf. She looked closely at her blue eyes. Damn if Charles wasn't right.

Her excitement soon turned to dread as she realized what it would take to shift back.

She reversed the process and went through agony again until she found herself naked on the floor once again. Shifting willfully took much longer and was much more painful than her natural shift at the full moon. Grandma had warned her about that. But she had also said that with practice it could be quick and almost painless. Charles and her grandma had only made slight groans when they shifted. It would be nice to have less pain.

Grandma Gertrude said she'd have to practice a lot, but that it would get easier and faster with time. Both grandma and Charles had shifted in seconds. It seemed like what she had just experienced took hours, although when she looked at the time she realized that it had taken only minutes.

Drained of energy, she couldn't face taking up a brush again. Yet, she was hungry from the effort. The Hen's Nest wasn't open in the evening, but there were a couple of other dining choices she'd tried at one time or another since she'd moved here.

The first one she came to was the Maple Grove Inn. It wasn't overly crowded, so she parked and went in. As the hostess led her to a table she heard her name and turned to see Charles sitting with two other men. He waved her over and the hostess gave her a menu.

"What brings you to town, Janet?"

"It's been an exhausting day."

"Trying new things?"

She searched his face to see if he was asking whether she had learned anything from her visit home. "Yes. Very interesting things, but draining."

Charles nodded and said "Here are some fellows I work with when I'm around this neck of the woods. They're park rangers and help manage the parklands spread all over the area. I help them by keeping them abreast of the predator populations."

The older ranger introduced himself as Tim Putnam. "Charles has told us of a big cat. We've never seen one, but some of the locals swear something has been raiding their livestock. We've seen cat tracks, but they are worried about wolves, too. Haven't had wolves here for years. They were hunted to extinction by the fifties."

"I've seen the cat. Don't know enough about them to tell what kind it was, but it was big. I know it wasn't black, so that does eliminate some possibilities."

Charles explained to the rangers "Janet is the artist who does those paintings you see at The Hen's Nest. She prowls around the woods at night."

"Be careful, miss."

"I can handle anything I come across. If I camp I'm armed and can use a firearm. Got a rifle, shotgun and pistol."

The ranger with the bushy brown beard, Frank Cotton, added "You should have someone with you. Attacks are less likely than if you're alone.'

"I need the solitude. I'll let Charles keep me apprised of anything dangerous."

Janet ordered and listened to the conversation. The two rangers finished and left but Charles remained sitting with Janet after her food came.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"You know damn well what. What did you find out?"

Janet chose words carefully in case anyone at a nearby table overheard. "I have it. I can do it, but it takes a lot of effort."

Charles nodded. "It takes awhile to master, but it's worth it in the end." He laughed softly. "From the amount you're eating I take it you've tried it already."

"It exhausted me. I didn't even want to paint afterwards. How long does it take to master?"

"A week. A month. It depends on you."

"Does it have to hurt so damn much?"

"Afraid so. It'll get better."

"That's what grandma said. I was hoping it would be easier sooner."

He grinned "If it was easy it wouldn't be worth much."

She looked at him over a forkful of braised lamb.

"What?"

"That's what grandpa told me."

"Smart man. Will I see you during the week?"

"I suppose so. You apparently know where to find me."

"You do have some favorite places to go for inspiration. I recognize them in your art. If we do see each other maybe you can fill me in on your progress."

"And I'll have some questions for you."

He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. "I'll answer honestly."

She pushed her empty plate away and wiped her mouth with her napkin. "You seem to know a lot about me but I know very little about you."

"Well, I'm on the faculty at Cornell. Animal physiology and genetics."

"So, you're Doctor Milosec, then?"

"Charles Milosec, PhD. I teach classes in physiology, but my specialty, as you know, is predators. I leave the pussycats and poodles to the vet school."

She laughed. "You certainly do."

"I work with the park administrators here to keep track of large predators. Wolves and large cats have been gone from the area for years, but they seem to be making a comeback. Landowners are worried. I help keep track of the populations."

"A lot of them are nocturnal, so you must spend a lot of time out at night also."

"As much as you do, except you live here now and I come in over the summer or on call other times throughout the year. I take time to write some professional papers on the subject, so that usually keeps me busy over the winter."

"I thought professor types had grad students help out."

He shook his head. "I only have one or two hand-picked assistants to help with labs, mostly. They wouldn't understand. I only have one I trust with research at all and prefer to mostly work alone. Just like you."

She got up to leave and he walked her to her car. "Have you finished the painting with the wolf/cat fight?"

"I think so. I'll look at it again in the morning and decide if I need to add anything. I'll bring it to The Hen's Nest in a couple of days."

"I've got first dibs on buying it."

"You keep buying these things. I thought college professors were poor."

He laughed. "I manage to save some. I don't have a family and live alone, so my expenses are low. I live out of town in a small house with a few acres and only a few neighbors. You can understand why."