All Comments on 'Shelly & Danny'

You've probably recognized some of MM's lines in there. A while back I read MM's stories one after another. It's been a long time. Recently, I started reading another of MM's stories, and after reading the first paragraph this story came to mind.

I wanted the story to start of typical MM, but then do the one thing that the protaganists never did in MM's stories, which is resist. For him not to simply accept the wife's portrayal of him as gospel.

Too bad you didn't take a "dump" on them when you first caught them dumping on you.

That last dig at the ex was in poor form for someone that is supposed to be over her. He should have introduced his wife to her, make polite talk for a minute, then proceed to ignore her for the rest of the night. The best revenge is living a good life and showing the ex that she means nothing to him now.

boy oh boy she was one selfish bitch

Being an asshole is never cool. Insulting her just shows he was never over her. And why have her pack on 30 or 40lbs? That’s just ridiculous. You took a great story about infidelity and learning to stand up for yourself and ruined it by making the protagonist a pansy assed prick.

A real man would have tried to let her redeem herself, not take the opportunity to hurt her some more.

Nicely done

Who doesn't want to read about a guy with a wife that judges men by dick size and her little dicked husband? Who doesn't want to see her get her vagina sawed? What man wouldn't stay in the guest bedroom with a Neanderthal banging the wife and threatening to kill him? The very same thing happened to me, with my first three wives! Then I found a little person that loved my dicklet. Yeah, give us more MM tributes. The world will be a better place!

On the positive side, this was your best written story by far. Your editor missed a few glaring errors and could help trim the word count, but I see a huge improvement. Keep writing. Maybe a tribute to cucks-are-us is in the planning stage?

Once you removed the intro mentioning Matt Moreau, you probably could have kept the bartender's name "Matt."

But the last few lines spout what was a good story.

Pity

I enjoyed reading about the husband finally standing up for himself and finding Shelly and her boy toy's weak spots was great. Making the bucket-cunted whore self-conscious about her cave-like vagina was an amusing twist.

I agree with the comments that humiliating Shelly by calling her by her nickname seemed out of character... but that was only because the protagonist was far too meek throughout the story.

Shelly horribly betrayed her husband and moving her lover into their house was appalling behaviour. Any normal guy would despise his wife after doing that... he had to listen to them fucking up a storm for months! His inner thoughts and accidental slip showed that he still had nothing but contempt for the sleazy whore... which would have been a natural reaction.

Cleary done as an homage to MM. Very well done.

KB

This satire on the LW tropes was fantastic, a laugh a minute. Thanks for the guffaws - especially the one at the end.

5/5 for the humour

Would anyone spend even one more day with a spouse who is that selfish and cruel? There is no reason big enough. That made the story too difficult to believe. She had no redeeming value.

I literally (no,really) laughed out loud a couple of times.

Thanks for posting this, been almost nothing but slut wife and cuck tales recently.

You succeeded with the MM-ness, kept waiting for the "Whaddya say?" and "My good husband." lines.

Have to agree with the others that the Cave reference detracted from the ending, but I really enjoyed it overall.

Lost a half for the Cave, but 4.5 still rounds to 5.

Pretty good story until the reunion. The MC proved in the end that his dickie wasn’t the only thing small about him. The 30 to 40 pounds was unnecessary as well. I couldn’t decide between a 2 or 3 rating. The bulk of the story was pretty good so I settled on 3*.

perfect the bitch and her asshole got exactly what they deserved and he got the prize a good wife

Ending is poor, he has moved on and furthermore he was at peace with himself when he served her divorce papers. To sink into the swamp and refer to her as the “ cave” is not where the educated man is, is it??

I agree totally with "It was great until the end" comment. What's more, his new wife should have had something to say about how nasty he was to her after all that time.

Nonetheless, it was still 5* from me

Phil

Damn ... How to pull Defeet (sic) from the jaws of Victory! ... In one last interchange!. Totally agree with Anon ‘Great until the end’. Hubby reverted to his ‘revenge mode’ self at a point of his life he should have been well past it. It was a part he played when he needed it (and it worked!) But it was not really in his character, as evidenced by their several last, accurate but polite, post-hospital and pre-divorce interchanges.

Portraying Sweetie1 as undisciplined in her body and dress was gratuitous and counter-character. And it detracted from the impact (except on my scoring one less star.)

4*

He regained old friends and, among other things, could discuss politics. Nowadays, talks like these could only happen if their politics were substantialy the same (not debates like he may have had 20 years ago). Right or left, it doesn't seem to matter any more.

As a couple of others stated, his first acknowledgement of shelley at the reunion was perfect, the second interaction ruined him in my eyes. That long afterwards, he should have either made an introduction and then continued his conversations leaving the door open for her to join, or simply said please leave. If he had truly overcome his insecurities and trusted the relationship with his current wife that is what would have happened. But clearly he has not gotten over her and his insecurities. If I was the second wife, there would be a serious discussion going on that night at home.

None of the 3 main characters were particularly nice.

Tom was was your typical mentally challenged antagonist, no substance behind his physique.

Shelly the fairly standard wife in LW having ideas that would make the mentally challenged look like members of Mensa.

Danny was nothing but a judgemental prick. While you can understand him being pissed off and wanting revenge.... please stop going on about how wonderful you are because you're intelligent and how bad they are because they are not. Someone once said it's not nice to make fun of the mentally challenged. And the way he treated Shelly at the end were the actions of a boy. A real man would have been gracious and enquired after her confident in his relationship with Amy. I suspect he had not told Amy otherwise it would have just have been "That's Shelly," and when introduced "This is Shelly." If it was a genuine slip of the tongue maybe he was not as bright as he thought, if it was deliberate, it shows him as even more cruel and arrogant.

And in the final summary, it was Danny's actions the put Simone in danger and Tom's actions that got Tom sent to prison (revenge?) and Shelly that saved Simone where Mr Arrogant failed...again.

Epilogue

Shelly contacted me, she was not happy about the divorce, but knew she was in the wrong. As such she was happy to not say anything about Danny's company. After the way he treated her at the reunion, she spoke to her lawyer who in turn put in a petition for 1/2 of the company. As it was set up while they were still married she was entitled to this. Danny argued they were separated, but there was no official documentation and the money used to set it up was built up prior to the separation.

He also argued that it had made no profit before the divorce papers were signed. This was dismissed as even so, Shelly was still entitled to 1/2 of the company. This also led to an investigation by the IRS.

Danny was also fined and imprisoned for 7years for various charges including those surrounding him hiding assets during the divorce and fraud in his first months trading. To pay the fine, he had to sell some shares in his company. Shelly now owns 52%.

@Anon, "It was great until the end" regarding the way Danny treated Shelly at the end. When I wrote that I didn't take it as he tried to make one more dig at her. He had put out of his mind that she was there, and when she taps him on the shoulder and he sees her a great deal of the bad memories come back to him. Attempting to put himself together again, he scrambles to introduce Shelly to his wife and with all the past memories rushing to his mind all jumbled out, he mistakenly calls her the "Cave." He wouldn't purposely do that in front of his wife, if not for Shelly's benefit.

I think people that have read my commentary in the past, and if you've read my other stories, you'd know I'm big on people having the chance at redemption. However, sometimes when things are particularly extreme, like the way Shelly treated him especially the last 6 months, but to a lesser degree throughout their relationship, Danny justifiably doesn't want to have anything to do with her anymore. Shelly would have to get her redemption, and her life back, elsewhere.

As far as her gaining weight. Remember now she is scrambling to make a living, and she has a lot more stress than when she was "fluttering around like a butterfly." Also, she has guilt feelings about how she has treated Danny, and losing him. All of those things are a recipe for weight gain.

@Absurdity of the story. If you've read Matt Moreau stories, and this was an attempt to take a typical MM storyline and then take it someplace else, he has ridiculous characters. A wife that is such a narcissist sociopath, that she is completely unaware that she is being totally unreasonable, and she is completely oblivious of her husband's feelings or interests. Btw, that extends to the lover as well, not just Danny. They are both her cuckolds, in different ways.

So, yes, the story and characters are ridiculous in this story, but that is done purposely. I found most of the characters in MM's stories ridiculous, and I think he purposely made them that way. So, I wanted to keep that part the same, and I wanted to keep the "burn" MM does (pissing off the readers with how the MC is treated) the same. KingBandor proofread the story and he said that the way Shelly treated Danny made him nauseous. I felt like I've achieved my goal there. Interestingly, I didn't feel nauseous writing the same scenes, because I knew where I wanted to take the story.

I have questioned but enjoyed your submissions. Yes I can see a slight tilt toward an MM story but in his stories, though he makes the male a sad sack that gets shit on you know what to expect going in. You waited until the comments to say it was your version of a Matt story, why?

I truly felt for the MC until you took an unsuspecting cuck and turned him into a despicable cuck. In his mind he married a ten yet never felt he measured up to her. In the end you mad him a ten in the opposite direction with such thoughts as 'I'll start out with a four and work up, it's better to start with low hanging fruit'.

It was good that he got his manhood back but he didn't learn anything from his lessons. He learned that by attacking her vagina it made him feel bigger. When she realized everything she was about to lose she came up with a plan to help both and he just couldn't leave it alone he had to call her the cave.

At the end of your tale I no longer saw any sighs of MM but more of a Disney's Scrooge McDuck. He now had his vault of money, friends that he could talk to about politics and your educated new wife what you no longer had was your once true love. You know you never mentioned children, did he give up that for sophistication.

When facing a larger opponent in a real fight, you have two targets, balls and eyes. OK maybe that’s four.

Note to authors, Spellcheck won’t tell you if the word should be conscience or conscious.

@MM reference. The story was initially submitted on 10/6 with a forward of "This story is an homage to Matt Moreau... Well kind of." But I had also written an afterword, because KB gave it a read and mentioned that he wasn't familiar with MM so he didn't understand the extremness and ridiculousness of Shelly. So I wrote an afterword, for those not familiar with MM, explaining why I wrote the story. Also, in the story, as Sbrooks103x notes (he gave the story a read as well), Pat the bartender is called Matt.

Lit rejected the story saying that I was ridiculing another member. That was not my intention in the least. I simply wanted to have the typical MM protaganist stand up for himself, based on his terms and limitations. And not take the wife's characterization of him as gospel.

Re: Ridiculousness Of The Story & Characters. In MM stories all the characters, especially the wife, and the story itself are ridiculous (I don't mean that as a negative, as I think MM does that on purpose). The wife is typically a complete narcissist sociopath, oblivious that others have feelings, needs and emotions of their own. An example of the ridiculousness, in a typical MM story, the next meeting after the husband disovers the infidelity and nothing is yet resolved between them the wife asks the "little man" to crawl to her and lick her ass. AND HE DOES IT. That always made me scratch my head. How does she have the audacity to ask that, and how the hell does he actually do it. So I incorporated that in the story, and in Pat (or Matt) the bartender being so hung up on that fetish.

Re: The Ending. Interestingly, if I read the story I probably would have disliked the ending myself. There are two reasons for that ending. First, as I mentioned in an earlier post, Danny does not do it out of malace, but as a knee jerk reaction because he is scrambling to introduce Shelly to his wife, while all the past is jumbling through his brain. I probably should have mentioned that in the story.

However, there is a second reason for that ending. When I decided to write this story I had only two parts visualized. The very first lines Shelly tells him when she is first caught (typical MM lines), and the very last part where Shelly walks away flipping him off. The reason for that ending is that in MM stories, throughout the story, the MC keeps trying to run away from the wife, and really himself.

He isn't able to deal, at all, with what the wife is doing to him and tries to turn his back to her and run away. He isn't able to meet the wife head on, look her in the eyes and tell her what she is doing is bullshit. He isn't able to handle what is happening to him, or even fight back. This story attempted to turn the tables on the wife, and now she is the one running away, and the best she can do is flipping him off with her back turned to him.

One of the things I'll never understand about stories like these is why. Why bother to drag the reader through a soap opera that isn't the least bit erotic?

You lost me the moment you had her asking this first question, not once considering that he would want to leave her. Even though it seems that it turns out he does leave her, starting that way and then seeing that it's six Literotica pages -- which usually translates to around 60 in Word -- I just couldn't see working through that much for a resolution that should take 2 or 3 pages at the most.

It was too long. There were a LOT of unnecessary words in it. I felt like I was reading a MM story. Short, wimpy nerd gets abused by his wife. Made worse by the fact that he moved back in with her and her boyfriend. That really made it feel like MM. And the divorce was laughable. She's going to get alimony for 5 to 6 years given the fact that they were married for 12-13 years. It's a standard formula. And since THEIR money has gone to into starting his business she's going to get half of that too. Again, it's a standard formula used in divorces. So she's going to be quite well off. Maybe she gets re-married and becomes a trophy wife, spending her days working out and shopping. Maybe she learns a lesson and works hard to better herself. Not every successful person is a genius. In either case she won't need money. She'll have it. Then you decided to tack on the fairy tale ending by giving him the super wife. THAT was funny shit and did nothing for the story.

2 stars

this was a MM thing ok thats probably why it didnt make any sense. i dont see any author notes stating that it is. just starts into the story ""Danny, this isn't something that needs to affect us. Not in any real or meaningful way. It's something completely outside of us."" thats the first thing i see on page one, no author notes. so yeah if it was to mimic MM story u did a great job except for the husband he wasnt wimpy enough but was dumb enough

First, no one edited this story. So, the errors were all mine.

Second, you're much better suited writing a "cucks-r-us" story. So, I'll leave that all up to you.

are closet cucks. they pretend to give the author praise, and then cry and moan about the protagonist's morality, and even try to say his wife deserved more.

no way in hell. she was pond scum. deliberate and evil from start to finish. even her conversion was all about growing to feel good about herself. i'm all for that sorta thing, but let's not pretend she did it because empathy. she did it because the alternative scared her, she saw a sad and pathetic life in her future. and so what if main protagonist was shallow? shallow revenge is deeply and meaningfully cathartic. only privileged adults with pretend problems would moan otherwise. and him being a bit of a 'pick up' artist when he jumped into the dating game. what's wrong with that?! he's allowed to be shallow. he's not lying, nor hurting anyone. he dates 4s because he understands how awkward he is. the fours are happy to be thrown a bone. they get shallow sex too! they are adults! sick of these closet cucks treating women like dumb door posts.

most deep relationships start out as shallow attractions, big newsflash here. "What first attracted you to me?" "oh...it was when i first saw you at that concert...i could see your philosophical beliefs on full display....i knew i had to have you" do you realize how stupid you people sound? honestly.

let me re-iterate. Im HAPPY he threw her 'tiny dick' comment back at her into 'loose pussy'. I'm THRILLED he mocked the IQ and earning power of the bull. He was evil too. And I AM a trade skill guy.

What is the obsession with MM? He is a shit writer with shittier characters, I notice you didn't mention MM until your comment unlike another writer recently who claimed it was a tribute to him, he's not worth doing a tribute to or to aspire to be like. 1* for this long winded drivel.

A lot of words to complete your story. I didn’t love any of your characters and they all had faulted personalities. I suppose my favorite part was that your Hero didn’t have a perfect scheme and made errors. I doubt if many of your readers had smiles on their faces at the conclusion.

about an 'ordinary' guy.

Enjoyed it ... thanks.

Neither did this dragged out story. All the characters sucked. She was a dumb broad and danny took to long to figure it out. Then going back into that home was pathetic. The ending also sucked. Yet this is 4 rated story. Why..??

I came here for reading a horny story. Left as a better man. The following lines about the bartender made me laugh so hard. What a heck of a writer:

'was a great deal of help. Though, just not quite in the way he intended. I went from feeling sorry for myself to getting angry. This guy was pathetic. He had experienced a major trauma in his life and his conclusion was to accept and incorporate it into a lifestyle.'

Worth the read.

What an asshole you must be! It sounds like anyone with a formal education is a moron. Which goes to show that you know very little! By the end of this story I liked Shelly more than little dick! Gave this a 2.

I know it’s fantasy, but a good writer has to be able to make the implausible seem plausible in the furtherance of the fantasy plot. In that requirement, this story consistently and repeatedly failed. **

I don't know if I could've enacted the main characters cock-a-may-me plan but the way you built his character over the course of the story made it, not only feasible, but believable. 🌟🌟🌟🌟

...but in the end it went nowhere......

I had to laugh at this one. No such thing as BTB here.

It was during the transition between paragraph 6 and seven I believe and stayed thankfully lost during a story that boringly lingering for 5 more pages. Sorry Charlie, no tuna for you.

Shelly was a slut that didn't want a divorce. Danny was nothing more than a moronic willing cuckold. Tom was a brainless moron. Another whore and her minions story. First it was Danny's house. Sell it, take the money, move on with your life. There's no law that says you have to live with or to take car of your wife. He could have started his accounting firm by putting it into a trust. Or incorporating in to another country. And have himself listed as an employee. By Tom living with Shelly, its considered separate maintenance.

To read this story I almost want to literally insert myself into this and rip Danny's dick off and feed it to him.Granted Shelly made Danny a Cuckold by fucking Tom,but Shelly was totally honest by discussing wanting to have sex with another man besides her husband Danny.

But Danny being the inflexible bookworm geek he couldn't understand Shelly's reasoning.I mean isn't love about accepting your Wife for who she is,and if she wants to have sex with other men or in this case another man shouldn't the Husband let her?

Love should not be enclosed like a box just for one person to have,but to let others experience it as well,Danny thought because he married Shelly he owned everything about her,but Shelly being who she is just wanted to be like a bird and have the freedom to have sex with someone else,but ultimately she still came home to roost with a Husband who couldn't accept her.So in this case Danny never saw Shelly for who she was, a Fun Adventurous Openminded Woman and so Danny ended up divorcing Shelly for being who she is.

but here goes.

If you don't have permission to use another Author's name you need to get their permission. John, did you ask MM for it.

According to MM his stories are a romantic melodrama. I don’t do revenge.

The last thing I would like to say is that MM likes to write books not stories. I do believe I saw one that was only four Lit pages but most are 10 or more.

I have had a conversation with MM and he brings a lot to the plate even if I don't agree with what he writes. I do believe if asked he would lend the use of his name.

As I stated before in an earlier post, if Danny had taken the high road at the end it would have made for a better story, but this was johnadp's story and he ended it the way he wanted to. It definitely wasn't like 'What Would You Do'.

Like the author's style. Thank you.

To MM have been worthy. Especially, since they lack about 6 pages the original author inspired. While none of the recent homages captured the cuck conundrum quite the way Matt does, each managed to delve into a world that I dont want to be a part of at all. However, if I had a choice to be Rosemary's babys daddy or Danny, I think I would choose the guestroom. Lots of versions of hell. You captured one with an escape hatch. Thanks for the story. Full marks

...is a life well lived. Although the MC went through nearly a year of hell to get there. Five stars! Thanks!

Why? He had to date the “low hanging fruit” to give himself confidence but he was never willing to have people he knew see him with a “4”. He just used them for pussy, and then discarded them for better looking women when he could. He was every bit as shallow as Shelly.

After reading this story, I just knew that I had to relate my worst fuck ever!

It was 1980 or 1981, when I met this woman named Clara in Woodland Park, in Lexington, Kentucky. I had seen her before, but didn't know her previously. Anyway, one thing led to another, and soon enough we were in her shitty apartment in a house which had been cut up into several, near the park, in the UK student slums. It was here where I found out just what a cave was!

Now, I'm not a little guy; my equipment is on the larger end of the normal range, 7" long and the appropriate, though never actually measured, girth. Neither a beer can nor a Slim Jim!

Well, when I entered her, it was like, holy shit, I had to lean to one side to feel anything at all. After a while, she asked me, "Are you going to get your nut?"

"I was kind of waiting for you first," I replied.

"Oh, I already came twice!"

Really? She had? I don't know how she indicated it, except maybe she blinked her eyes twice! Or maybe she just lied; I'm guessing that was more probable.

But anyway, it was so bad that I actually lost my erection while I was inside her pussy! That's pretty bad.

Who knows, maybe she'd had a couple of 15 lb babies and never got the extra episiotomy stitch to tighten her up or something, but when Mr ADP wrote about the cave, I knew exactly what he meant. :)

Your statement was one of three things, either you’re a woman or You’re a willing cuckold or You just want a response. If Shelley was such a free thinking woman. She would’ve told Danny instead of cheating. And I doubt he would’ve married her for the woman she was or would soon become. You said he was supposed to love her for who she was when she never showed him she was a slut before they married. You’re under the belief, that you can turn a whore into a housewife. If you’re a whore, hope to find one who can except you for what you are. If you can’t then go it alone and don’t leave the lie. Because when it does come out it’ll be just as bad if not worse.

Was HILARIUOS!😂😂😂 I couldn’t stop laughing for about 5 minutes! The writing of it was classic. I imagined a very serious faced Danny telling his “shit in Shelly’s mouth” rendition of his fantasy and Shelly very excited to hear what he has to say and then her disgust as he finished the telling of it. I was rolling on the floor laughing. Way to let her know how disgusted you were with her fantasy.

I've read the comments and you've written a polarizing story this time. But it was a story this time instead of an essay. You're improving every time you put something out. I thought you did the whole thing , having read years of your commentary, with tongue firmly in cheek. It does have a little MM flavor to it, as you have the insane, cheating female and the wimpy little, abused male. You just had too damn much fun with Shelly's character. You created one of the most infuriating female characters in LW annals, at least in the BTB side of the genre. She has no redeeming qualities , and even when she is repentant and groveling you see the hidden crossed fingers. Tom is the classic bull, or human dildo.Usually played by the bbc, he is useful for nothing but sex. You show him perfectly right down to being aware of his own inadequacies. He offers nothing else emotionally, financially, or intellectually to the relationship. He is a nothing more than a parasite. Danny, for a few paragraphs, is a MM husband. But after her in Pat, he gets mad, makes plans and carries them out and beats them all. Smelly divorced, broke, and humiliated. Tom in prison, unable to use his only asset , his cock, for personal gain. Danny has built a successful business and has a beautiful, intelligent wife. I didn't really enjoy the final interaction with Shelly, but IS and the BTB demands it. I believe you put a little Johnadp into Danny and his comeback and that's ok. It was a good story. I enjoyed it, and wouldn't have minded if it had been even longer. I had as much fun reading it as you did writing it.

Then she could be blamed for crippling Tom and the two of them could suffer through their lives together. Danny would be free to live a life. I can't understand the comments on this site which continuously attack the wronged.

Your first comment. Yes, Danny realizes as well that he wasn't being nice to the women he was using to build up his self-esteem. But, isn't that true in life though? Something bad happens to us and we sometimes react and take it out on others.? That was my point with that. He does say towards the end that he wasn't being fair to those women. It wasn't their fault that he had made a cunt like Shelly his wife. I don't write about one perfect person, and one a devil. There is something to learn from him making mistakes as he's trying to get his shit together and build himself back up again.

Second comment. Yeah, I had my own experience with a cave, and that's where I got the idea. I'm above average in dick size too, and most women I've dated make a point to tell me that I have a big dick. I always took it as they're trying to give me an ego boost because the only experience I had were the porn stars and a big dick on there was an elephant trunk. And at the gym I had a theory that only men with small dicks walked around naked because no one else wanted to see their pricks.

Anyway, my experience with the cave. So, in my 20's I dated this girl who had a cave for a pussy. She was totally normal size (was very athletic actually as she did triathlons), had never had a baby, but had a huge cave. I only dated her for a few months, but just like Danny after a while I got acclimated not even thinking her pussy was unusual. Although I did have a hard time coming from intercourse alone.

Anyway, I broke up with her, but we stayed friendly. Fast forward a couple of years and she started dating this guy, and she made a point to tell me about what an especially big dick he had. So, I went to a party where she and her new guy were, and the guy knew about my past with her, and at one point he got tipsy and he started complaining about how loose she was. I started feeling bad for her and starting making up excuses like well she is getting older (she was like 27 then lol) and stuff like that. He got pissed and said his ex-wife had a kid and her pussy was still much tighter even after that. They eventually got married lol. I never told her what he said obviously. I never told her she had a cave for a pussy, but she had hinted to me when we started dating that she only dated guys with big dicks. It was a necessity lol. Maybe if I knew about vaginoplasties back then, if they did them back then, I would have told her.

Outside of her pussy she was a great girlfriend. Really smart, adventurous, interesting, but the sexual chemistry was awful though. I usually had to use my hand to finish off or use her mouth. You can't come out and tell a girl that she has a cave for a vagina. Well, unless she is a cunt like Shelly was.

The cave. Had a girlfiend I once called the bucket. If it was me, tom would of got estrogen in his food. 5f%

Thanks for your comments on my stories. Yeah, I think I should have left the preface that "This an homage to Matt Moreau.... Well, kind of." I think Lit would have allowed that, and that's not the part they had a problem with. I think more readers would have enjoyed the story, because the extreme ridiculous characters would have made more sense. Maybe, maybe not. If people want to see the preface and afterword the way I had it they can look up the same story I posted on Storiesonline. Both are there and Pat is called Matt there. I think likely more than anything maybe Lit had a problem with the shot I took at the bartender called Matt. Which is fair. The funny thing I don't think MM would have had a problem with it. The comments he gets hurled at him are ten times worse than that, and usually in the comments I have defended him for the most part.

Now, in my commentary I've often made the point that I didn't think extreme BTB was warranted, except when people make it personal and fuck with you. Both Shelly and Tom made it very personal. The funny thing is though while Tom is infuriating and a dick to Danny, really he was as much Shelly's cuckold (and victim) as Danny was. He wanted to have a full relationship with Shelly and was in love with her, but she saw him in one category, and wanted the husband as well.

But that's true of MM's stories though. I think the lover is often as much of the wife's cuckold as the husband. She only wants him to fuck her, and doesn't think much of him intellectually or his job. So, that part I also tried to stay true to MM's characterization of the lover.

I think someone who abused him as much as Shelly did, Danny couldn't be friends with or even friendly with her down the road. Shelly was much different than Andrea in "Losing Half". In that story you commented that you couldn't see Danial being nice to Andrea after her cheating. In that one I can see them getting along, because she was repentant, and they had kids, so he was forced to see how repentant she was for years, because they had to interact. In this one, typical of MM stories, Shelly was a narcissistic sociopath unable to empathize with others. I did want to nauseate (readers not into the cuckold genre) and make Shelly an infuriating character. It seems I've at least succeeded in that. The one thing I wanted to do, however, make Danny react differently than the typical MM MC.

I hadn't read MM stories for more than a year at least, so when I thought about writing this (after reading one paragraph into an older story of his beginning of Oct) I thought about going back and reading a story or two of his to use some of the same lingo. MM has a very unique way of his characters talking. But this being an amateur site I really didn't have the inclination to put that much time in doing research. I really thought it would be a two page story. Didn't turn out that way.

It's interesting how everyone hated the ending. Funnily, I think I would have too if I read it, but I explained in prior comments why I had that there. I think I needed a line or two more to explain his thinking though. Oh well.

Btw, you have been on here for a long time and have also commented on my comments, and I've told you before you've always been fair to me, even when you disagreed. So I'll share with you that this was likely my last story on Lit. I actually have three other stories in mind, and emailed KingBandor an outline of one of them (which would likely be 12 pages long lol), but I think I'm done. I may continue to write fiction, it's fun, but here I'm forcing the stories around a cheating wife, and I don't think I want to do that anymore, even though I honestly think these three stories (at least 2 of them) I feel are much more interesting than what I've written so far (and they do involved cheating wives too), but who knows. My taste in what's interesting and what the general LW reader thinks is interesting is not always the same. I'm not interested in writing in one of the other categories on Lit either, so I'm going to have to find a site that caters to straight amateur fiction stories.

I may post a short one, though, that I wrote about a year ago and submitted, but that Lit rejected because they said the paragraphs were too long (it's the first story I wrote on Lit). It's the closest one to my true experience. I came on Lit for the BDSM side, but got attracted to the LW section mostly because of an experience I had in undergrad. While the story is fiction, and I changed several aspects in the story from my true experience, it's the closest to being autobiographical than anything else I've written.

Although, the "Losing Half" thing is partly true, because the losing company thing actually happened to people I know, where the wife put a freeze on the company's assets when she filed for divorce and the husband was "forced" to sell the company to a third party for pennies on the dollar. The person that bought the company (with a wealthy man's backing) paid the husband under the table, millions of dollars a year secretly, for more than 15 years, until the company was eventually bought out by a private equity firm (I imagine he paid the "husband" some money then as well, but don't know). In real life the husband never officially became an official owner again, but he became an "outside consultant". So, it was interesting people believed the social media stuff (which I think could happen, but I don't know of a real situation where it's been done), but many had a hard time believing the one that actually happened. Although, I did change many aspects of that.

""Then you smile at us and sensually open your mouth wide. I get up from the sofa and walk over to you and turn to face Tom as well. I squat down on top of your face, with my dick pointed right over your throat, and I take a big shit in your mouth."

I liked the ending made me burst out laughing, as well as the exchange of fantasies where I went from Whaaaat?? to gales of laughter.

Yes it was long winded and yes it lacked sexual sparks (after all it is Literotica) but I am growing to quite like these BTB tales. I am also adult enough to know that this is NOT reality nor as as another author often relays it's not a docu drama nor is it a legal case study the same as James Bond is not how spy's work and nor is Kojak, Luther and other PD's TV the way cops work.

The characters were predicable as they always have to be in tales like this. It will be hardly plausible for roles to be switched or a complete and believable road to Damascus conversion to take place halfway through the tale.

All in all a good tale, even if a tad too long winded a solid 4 from me.

I may have not been clear. I was saying I do not know the purpose of writing stories in the little dick, little man MM style. You felt the urge and wrote a pretty reasonable effort. I felt you need to trim the word count. My sarcastic comment about cucks are us was simply tossing out another plot line that I see no reason to pursue. I did not intent to infer (or imply?) that you are a cuck or a cuck writer. You are improving with every story and I hope you listen to sound advice from others, even if my pompous points do not sway you in any fashion. Keep posting and I will keep reading. Thanks.

That may be the case if you mention the name of the others. I have ridiculed a few, and been poked a few times and Lit accepted it. If you change the spelling of the target's name but make the intent clear, it usually gets posted, if the writing is acceptable, and it is becoming difficult to imagine how bad writing must be to fail the Lit-mess test here.

KB, I think you may confuse Bebop3 with another writer. While he may have posted an MM parody, but no names were mentioned. I do know PiperHamlin asked for, and received, permission from MM to wade into the deep end of the life of a man with a wife who needs more than hubby can give her. He is an excellent writer.

If I post a brilliant, award winning story, will someone claim I am copying the style of Ohio? I think not, unless I call the main character Buckeye Card.

On another note, I stopped in LW today to find a story claiming to cleanse the palates of readers who had been inflicted with less than satisfying revenge in a recent event. Where the hell is that literary gem?

The ending proved what a very little man danny actually was. I don't like all of MM's work, but respect his skill. If this is a homage to his writing, you missed by a mile.

Ok, I apologize. I did think you're taking a dig at me, and my response has always been to punch back when I felt someone took a punch at me. My bad. Although, in my defense, sometimes in written form the intent of the message doesn't come across as intended.

When I reviewed the story before submitting it, I also felt that it was wordy, and can be trimmed down. There is one reason I didn't do it, laziness. Because, ultimately I wanted to say almost everything in there, so it wasn't so much about simply cutting certain paragraphs out (although I could have pared back there as well). I would have had to make things more concise and precise, which would have meant really digging in and making an effort to rework things. But I definitely agree with that point, and I actually didn't need an editor to tell me that (even though SBrooks103x suggested generally that I pare back on the backstory), because even I could see it myself. There were some things that were repetitive too that could have been cut out as well.

As far as tributes to MM, I disagree. It should be obvious this wasn't a typical tribute. It was kind of the exact opposite actually. When I first came on this site I actually went and read all of MM's stories one after another. The part that I liked was the "burn" aspect. He and DtIverson (although DT and MM take different roads after the burn) do the in your face betrayal best of all the prolific authors IMHO. The part, that like most other readers, I hated about MM's stories were that the MC never stands up for himself. Never gets over the wife. The best he could do is try to run away from her. They always left me melancholy in the end. I always felt the same way I felt as a kid after watching Oliver Twist for the very first time. Melancholy!

Right before starting to read MM's story in early October (which inspired my writing this) I had been reading articles about the protests in Hong Kong, and about female activists in Saudi Arabia. These female activists have their government, the laws, the patriarchal society, the majority of the population (including other women), everything against them, yet they have the courage to rebel and stand up for their basic human rights even though they know it would likely mean time in prison where they will be tortured and raped.

So, in my mind I was juxtaposing the immense courage these women have, when they're fighting such terrible odds, and MM's MC's in the US where we have ample opportunities to remake ourselves, to start over again. Instead they completely lose themselves because some woman tells them they're less than enough for them. They become homeless, jobless, shrink from the world, and keep on running away from the wife because they can't deal with it.

So, I wanted to write a story where I took a typical MM theme, did the "burn" part well, however, the husband based on his abilities fights back. And by fighting back it didn't even mean getting revenge on the two. Just simply standing up for himself, and not accepting his wife's characterisation of him as gospel of who he is ("it's not me, it's you honey"). So, that was my point of this story. Not to write another MM story.

You churn out a tribute to MM who while he writes well creates crap stories. (IMO) Which makes me seriously question the intelligence of such an endeavour. Then you decide to get in a pissing match with one of the best writers on the site over a salty comment. Meanwhile one of your beta readers casts aspersions on another writer who did nothing of what they were accused of. Is this a calculated effort to create a shitstorm or are you just “talented”?

Please don't stop writing. As I said, your stories have improved every time.You have posted. This one got great response, both pro and com , from the readers . That shows you that you are on the right track. Keep going, you do pretty good for a left wing, Cali liberal. Cut back your underbrush and stay safe while you, hopefully, continue to write.

LOVED the cave\finger ending!

The clique of Lit is known as CLIT. You are PAXIFICA (Not PICKAXE-IFICA!). It is not that difficult to remember. If you can find where you misplaced your pickaxe handle, you should be able to remember CLIT!

Well, at least you don't double back and repeat yourself by doubling back to repeat yourself, that is.

Been here a while, but I am not a writer, just a reader. I found the story fun to read, because I can just imagine that there are people who exist like this in our world. Relationships are always complicated, and stories in this category seem to always get a bad rap. I'm not into any drama, I just like to take a few moments to enjoy a read and pretend the world around me will allow me a few minutes of uninterrupted pleasure. Is is the best writing job? I'll say this, I have read better, and I have read a hell of a lot worse. Those of you who take all of this too seriously, who are armchair critics, or just plain troll bashers need to get out of here and find a life, because you suck.

Then I’m good!!!!

This was a very different path for an established scenario where the wife gets caught fucking some other stud and the wife has 20 excuses and wants to juggle both. Great excuses and different way to BTB.

Carry on!

T.T.

You say, "Then you decide to get in a pissing match with one of the best writers on the site over a salty comment."

Umm, yes, if I feel that "one of the best writers on the site" is being rude to me, I will hit back. However, he explained that he wasn't, and I apologized to him.

Are you one of those men that if a celebrity walks up to your wife and "grabs her by the pussy" you just smile and think, "well, he is a celebrity, so it's obviously ok"?

really? that's the ending? no one would say that after that amount of time.

well written good story. would have given 5 stars but didn't like the ending, thought it was completely unnecessary to insult shelly the final time.

Good analysis of a relationship and it made an interesting read. I hope you continue.

I've read a lot of "loving wife" stories here. Your perspective on this is interesting and I enjoyed reading it. I hope you continue to write.

I found the premise of a man living with his wife and her lover really hard to believe. I mean, no actual live man suffers that kind of disrespect from a cheating wife. Only in stories found on Literotica. I had to suspend my disbelief to read the whole thing.

Remembering that this is just fiction by amateur writers makes all the plot lines interesting. Interesting story idea. Keep at it.

So I write a comment on a story not realizing it was some celebration for HDK. I'm just saying I was clueless about it. Too much time in the forest.

Next thing I know I'm being insulted and attacked by GITM and her posse. HA, HA Ha, ha... I didn't take it very seriously.

Social clueless am I Merryman, lol. I wondering what the heck are they talking about??

johnadp you are on the right path. Write stories like this, develop your talent, then move on to better places to publish. Don't take criticism too seriously. Use what you think you need. Leave this place behind... Good Luck😉👍..

AMerryman

That was supposed to be in the preface to the story. But, I also had an afterword explaining why I did the story, and Pat the bartender in the story was named Matt.

Lit rejected the story because they felt that I was ridiculing another member (MM obviously). I disagreed, however, I could see how a reasonable person could make that assumption. So, I got rid of every reference to MM, and resubmitted the story.

I mention all of this so that future readers realize where the story is coming from. I tried to mimic the typical MM storyline. The narcissistic sociopath wife, who is completely oblivious that her husband (or for that fact the lover too) have their own feelings and interests. The physically challenged husband (height, size, penis size) who is portrayed as intelligent and has a good job. The large lover (both physically and dick) who isn't that bright, and has a shitty job. And typical MM theme is all the characters talk and think in a ridiculous way (even the supposed intelligent husband), almost as if they live in a parallel universe.

So, I tried to mimic the typical MM theme and characters. Do the "burn" (wife's in your face betrayal) well that MM's stories excel at. But then have the MC stand up for himself, and not simply accept the wife's characterisation of him as gospel.

If you've read some MM stories, the outlandishness of the characters of the stories makes sense. If you haven't, then well, they're simply outlandish and ridiculous characters doing unreasonable bat shit crazy shit.

Last note. I have read all or almost all of MM's stories, because they are a good read, are quirky and interesting in a weird way. However, they always made me feel melancholy at the end. In this story I tried to change the aspect that made me feel melancholy, and have the MC stand up for himself based on his capabilities and abilities.

5 STARS! THANKS, VERY WELL WRITTEN,

Thanks for sharing that amusing story!!

Thanks it has been a long time since I have read a good story on this site.

i love the premise of this story, the husband has to stay and endure, for whatever reason, while the wife gets evermore cruel and heartless, pushing him to the limits of humiliation, almost broken our hero slowly turns things around to reach the best revenge, indifference.

very difficult to do well, i personally would have liked it gritter and darker but this was an enjoyable read 5*

I cheated on my first wife. It was a one night fling. I knew almost immediately that I had made the mistake of a lifetime. I wanted to carry my folly to my grave. But the other woman took it upon herself to tell my wife. And my wife has a zero tolerance for infidelity. Divorce was inevitable. Now two marriages and a sour relationship that never got to an altar, I have been on the receiving end of infidelity. Apparently, since our marriage ended, both of us have lived our lives experiencing only a shadow of the love we once felt and threw away. And I can't even think about Tanya without tears falling. Should we get back together? I say "Yes." Will we? Not in this lifetime.

I really liked it. Don't know why it didn't have a higher score. My only thought is that some people may think it is a chuck story. To me, a chuck is a husband that accepts that his wife cheats on him and get a hard-on and accepts it. He didn't.

More a non-erotic story than a loving wife's one but funny to read.

Perfect. Just perfect!

To realize this should have been placed in 'Humor and Satire.' Glad to see you got "Low Hanging Fruit" right the second time. The very best line and one I'm sure to quote more than once, in this whole story was "God, why are the stupid and uneducated the surest about what they think they know." That's exactly what I feel reading so many of the comments when 'they' are so sure they know divorce laws and how a story 'should' have been written. Pretty entertaining story in it own right J. Signed: BTW

initially I would have just shit on the both of them after the burrito to make an opening statement salvo, good story

I enjoyed the story. It was well written and the storyline was rather unique although I'm not normally a fan of wimpy husbands. Knowing some form of comeuppance was due allowed me to rationalize continuing reading it. I would have rated it a 5 if it was not for the last five sentences. They were totally uncalled for.

Danny is now back with his upscale, sophisticated friends and his new intellectual wife.

For all the abuse and disrespect Shelly heaped upon him, their divorce was amicable and she finally realized and apologized for her awful behavior. She even begged him for a second chance to be a better wife. It wasn't in the cards and she signed the divorce papers even though it devastated her.

But he hasn't moved on from the scheming, nasty, hurtful prick of 3 years ago.

His humiliation of his ex wife in front of his new wife was heartless and inhuman. I lost all sympathy for him.

Tom went spelunking a lot in that giant cave

But my 1st sexual encounter was with a girl that was to say at the least.

Was loose.

It was quite unfortunate really I had no game plan for that.

So it became a fail.

Something I regret decades latter.

The golden puss that came latter didn't make for a long term relationship.

Happily I finished up with something in between along with a greatfull attitude.

Makes for a better life decades on.

Thanks really enjoyed your story.

As an accountant that does taxes. He could have divorced her. And then started his business. He owned the house! He had investments and no how. I don't understand taking the cuckhold route.

Down there, I ran into another man, he said, "help me find my keys and we can drive out".

Fun, if not a very improbable story.

Dear author, there is one sentence I have to comment on:

"And what he was telling me was no different than a battered wife coming to a friend for advice only to be told that she didn't deserve any better than to be a victim all her life. That she should make the most of it and enjoy the physical and psychological beatings her abuser was so graciously bestowing upon her."

Thank you! Finally someone who understands that a psychologically abusive relationship is STILL AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS!

All the same rules apply as with a physically abusive relationship, and the worst possible outcomes are the same: Crippling life long damage, and death.

I am someone who was a victim of domestic violence as a child, and I guarantee you that the worst parts of it were the psychological aspects. Most bruises on the body heal within a week, but the bruises on the soul are still healing 40 years later. Maybe they will never heal completely.

So he moved back into the house just to be a troll.

I can respect that.

Quite a ridiculous story but also a truly sad one. This could only happen in the fictional world so I won't bother to comment on the actual storyline. However, as a truly fictional story I really enjoyed the read. It's a well written well paced story.

Thanks.

Fantastic ending!!!