All Comments on 'She's Sorry Forever'

I'm guessing they both died from Covid? WAY too little information, both at the start and at the end. This didn't even make for a good flash story.

1 star

Good, innovative story. An auspicious debut. Nicely done.

But no, nahhh, she‘s not. Was not and will not be sorry. It‘s‘a just in his minda, lots a harassing fire of da neurons in da main brain on da exitus.

Sad a tell of sad people and no fair end of him, mon

I would‘a give yo two Spliffs, nahh, three Spliffs, but just waiting fo betta story from ya.

Peace & Lova, mon

That was pretty rough, a deathbed RAAC, this time at the last possible moment.

Not bad. A little confusing. But, I think the gist of it was they both got some fatal disease such as COVID-19 and she met him from the afterlife while he was breathing his last breathes. Like most deathbed situations she had her regrets and found a way to voice them to the one she cheated on.

Will they see each other again? Unfortunately, they may never get a chance. The opportunity decision will be with the one manning the pearly gates.

Best story of the night.

"I dream of holding you forever in heaven."

It'll give her something to do while she's burning in hell.

Breaking the ten commandments and being guilty of one of the seven deadly sins... ouch... Good luck getting through the pearly gates "angel".

Throw away the last two paragraphs, and make it a real story.

I was enjoying this, and thought it had promise, and then it just ended with a thud. How did Jim, apparently half drunk in despair over losing Angela, react to her return? Did he fly off the handle, was he too drunk to care, was it a dream come true but he was too drunk to process it, did he take her back but then the festering thoughts of her leaving for Sean made it impossible?

There was a story here, and then you killed it.

Short and to the point. Wonder if Sean caught it too?

I find it less sweet and more of a haunting.

Even as they reach the after-life, she's emotionally dumping all over him.

Can't she leave him alone? Why make his last moments about herself?

She added his pain in there as an afterthought. It was about HER forgiveness, HER

betrayal, HER last kiss. Can't she just say her peace and give him a hug good-bye?

She's not exactly changed. Adrenaline and fear of death are her new motivations.

Instead of lust and adrenaline. She wasn't a total monster, but she's pretty close to being one. She's also lying, as far as I can see it. She told him she had a better man because it was easier on her, not him. If she wanted to make it easier on him, she'd have said something like, "I'm not the angel you thought I was, you deserve a better woman. My new man is exciting, and I have no self control." But that would involve painting herself poorly. She's not about that. She's self absorbed.

Deathbed hallucinations. At least it was short.

Especially for LW section & your first try.

Again: WELL DONE!!! 5

But not bad, thank you.

I had to read the story twice to fully understand what happened. Luckily (or perhaps unluckily) the story is short.

Congratulations on your first post. I hope there are more original stories coming.

Could have been synapses misfiring or could have been real.

Either way, it's his choice now, not hers. I don't believe

anyone has done an afterlife follow-up yet. ??? Oh, the possible endings!

Would have been better if he just looked her in the eye and said "go to hell" and somehow he learns he is with St Peter going through the pearly gates and he hears her screams of agony and the devil's evil laugh...

These confessions are only for the cheater themselves and not for the cheated party.

I guess the moral is that we live each day as if it were our last? Good job.

Well, that certainly got my attention!

It was to short my guess it must have been the virus but left my hanging. gave it 5 anyway.

Wow! Just noticed this is your first published story. Well done and let's hope we have more, please?

But gave 4* for the twisty twist.

Asking for forgiveness on (or after, in this case) the death bed is meaningless.

was that I was surprised that Lit accepted it, being so short.

Second thought, that it was inconsequential. (sorry Harry, 'of small consequence', or 'not much happened').

Third thought, I don't like ghost stories because I don't believe.

Fourth thought, hold on, I do believe it to be truly original.

It's definitely grown on me. That's quite an achievement dear Hapmarried. I'll look out for more of your stories.

Why do you think that there is a heaven where all of your earthly sins will be resolved when you die! If you live a sinful life like cheating people in business, cheating on your spouse, cheating the Government of taxes (remember Jesus stated give Caesar what is Caesars, which were taxes dummies!) you don’t deserve to go to Heaven!

What a clever twist, and I'm assuming it's alluding to today's times. Well done.

And if anyone reads this 5 years from now they won't have the foggiest idea what it's about.

That was an excellent flash story, certainly timely in these days although I'm thankful you never mentioned 'COVID' or I might have skipped it at the first mention. Please continue offering your writings as you see fit.

MFH

Like style guy, I was confused as well. It was good though

...for weeks now I've been trying to think of a good COVID story. I failed, but you succeeded. This is the story that works! Very good job!

A 3 says I liked it, but that is a stretch. I appreciated your submitting a story and hope there are plenty more. I just dislike reading virus based stories.

there’s a sign post up ahead. Just kidding! I liked it because the author managed to open the story without forcing us to imagine yet another woman at a kitchen table with yet another open bottle of wine.

PS: I hope they don’t let her in!

She was no angel, maybe the devil from hell collecting souls, but definitelly not an angel! She screwed up his life and then took his life, hopefully she will burn in hell!

1 star for a bitch that had no regard or respect for a man who loved her and then she killed him!

I did not see that coming. Really well done. I look forward to more.

Great short story. No wasted words or lengthy situations.One of the best about Covid-19 pandemic. Quite unique ending. Thanks for the story, and please keep writing.

If I like the story, it's in the hope that Angela really did realize she loved Jim, **and** that she didn't know she was sick.

What I hope didn't happen was that Sean was already dead or dying, and Angela knew already that she was sick, and that in remorse or guilt, she knowingly took Jim with her to the grave.

This story could easily fit in the Romance catagory but I'm glad you chose LW or I probably would have missed this touching story of a wife who made the wrong choice but mannaged to seek forgiveness.

theres no fucking virus in this story . you is all nuts

I really liked the twist at the end. I thought it was well written, and you packed a lot of story in to a very small number of words.

it takes more work and skill than that.

You began an omelet.

Thanks for the effort.

Thank you, smart and pithy. 5*.

Why would anyone want to be with a whore for eternity? You made it clear she had been fucking her new guy for at least a couple months and her begging for reconciliation seems very timely as he is presumably going to heaven. What better way to maybe get a foot in the door than hooking back up with the man she destroyed?

I mean there is "Oops, I fucked up once or twice" and there's "I fucked up for an indeterminate amount of time before I left you and continued to do so for a COUPLE MONTHS until I died."

I don’t understand why people seem so confused about this. He hasn’t died. She died. It’s implied she died of Covid19. He’s also not drunk. He’s in the same hospital, also apparently very sick with the virus. He last visit was an apparition, or possibly hallucination, and it doesn’t say whether he then forgives her or continues to beat himself up.

She fucked him over again.

I don't get it. Did she actually say those things to him or was he deliriously imagining them? What was the cause of death - African Hemorrhagic Fever, Ebolla, AIDS Hanta-virus? Seeing as corona is only slightly more effective than the common flu, and can be treated, and you'd know if you caught it, this story doesn't make sense, unless you are another politicization mechanic for the left in this conspiracy against the free people of the world.

Smokepole

You have a talent, even if others may not see it. Keep writing.

Is meaningless are wronger than two left shoes. The perfect example is when Christ was on the cross and the person on the cross next to him (right before death) acknowledged who he was and Christ told him that he would be in paradise with Him. So death bed confessions and forgiveness are accepted. Don’t know where those who think otherwise got their information, but they are wrong. Also, I see it a lot in stories, but you don’t get into heaven based on your works (how good you are), you get into heaven only by accepting Christ as Savior and Lord. God would never have you to be able to boast on your works, but only the gift of righteousness that was GIVEN as a gift as a result of accepting Christ. So some of you are going to be very surprised when/if you go to heaven because you will see people there that you didn’t expect. LOL 😂. Like the lady in this story, if she believes Christ as her Lord, her works didn’t matter, SHE WILL BE IN HEAVEN.😂😂😂

The hubby and his ex are both in the hospital, sick with presumably Covid, and he either imagines seeing her spirit in reality or he imagines seeing her beg forgiveness. Is this the wishful hallucination of a dying man who still loves his ex or is she really there,her spirit? The fact that she died an hour before him implies it was her spirit begging forgiveness, bit it also could be him simply trying to make himself feel better. Her telling him that she said those mean things to make it easier on him would be something his mind would do to comfort him.

No way to know which one it is, the only thing obvious is before getting sick she still was with the other guy,had no intention of coming back.

As far as Covid being only slightly worse than the flu, 100k are dead in a couple of months even w lockdown, flu kills 45k in a year, Covid is a lot more infectious than the flu and is more deadly,plus it tends to leave people in bad shape who survive it.

she apologized but at the cost of his life. It sucks that you killed him for no reason.

I enjoyed this first story and was able to imagine the destruction and carnage she had reaped upon him. And what ever the reason for his vision it seemed to be his way of finally finding his own peace. Did she finally pay a price she would deserve, we can only hope - unless our author is willing to show us her vision during the previous hour.

Again we can only hope.

Good job

@njlauren

That or the cheating whore infected him when she came to apologize

Just gotta comment on a comment.

Christ on a cross? Bwahaha! Ah hahahahahahahabahahahahahahahabababababdjfjdn4jruwoekrjwjtudhebrhdhebrbdbsha

Ahahahhahahahahha

Smokepole I'm not sure if you really believe what you said and are trying to get some sort of argument going here or if you are just playing a part. If you really believe it's a little worse than the flu I suggest you talk to the funeral director I had to use in April about the numbers and the severity. Or don't and join these two in this dark sad story.

I just wanna publish it in my blog. Can i do so?

I think most cheating wife's want to come back when they realise they have been used.

I loved her remorseful return. I saw no reason for her not to "beg" him to take her back if she honestly felt the way she claimed to feel.

I too interpreted his disease as a gift from her, but wondered whether she thought she had it when she kissed him.

I thought it was too short and wanted more development. I thought it was the perfect length to say what 'hap..' Wanted to say. It was too short because I so wanted to see whether they would reconcile. It was just the right length to make people think, talk, discuss, and like/dislike.

All-in-all .... DAMN! That's pretty good writing. Good mechanics and made people think and react. I am envious of you getting it done in the minimum word count.

4* ..because I couldn't reconcile my desire for more, not because it wasn't good. I also guess this comment talked myself into favoriting the author. Thanks for writing it.

At least for ever will they have something to talk about, forever. TK U MLJ LV NV

To me, it seemed that the author was going for a 'Twilight Zone' like story. I liked it, but thought it needed just a bit more. (BTW, if wife had taken up with Sean, why was she just down the hall?)

4 stars and please, keep writing.

Should have read more comments before posting. When I first read the story, I thought that the conversation was taking place in his apartment or house. Them both being in the hospital would explain why the wife would be just down the hall. Thanks for someone(s) pointing that out in a comment(s).

I enjoyed your story. It was a little different, but an interesting take on the RAAC. Glad Polyliver enjoyed it.

Well done

Somehow I missed this when it was posted and am only now finding it after reading “Coincidences”. Very poignant and gritty. I enjoy your style. I hope you see past the lowbrow trollers’ criticisms and continue to submit.*****

@sanman52

Sweetie (and Sean) did not leave town. She pointed out to Hubby (is that ex-hubby or late-hubby?) that she knew from shared friends that Hubby never bad-mouthed her after the betrayal.

A wonderful Twilight Zone ending! Hubby has at least one letter of recommendation. The heavy drinking may get him a lower berth next to Sweetie..

Not bad for pure fantasy, but it only works if you believe in the existence of an afterlife, as there isn’t, this type of story will only resonate with those gullible enough to go along with such nonsense.

Fantasy of any kind requires just a touch of reality.

@lujon2019 - She never came to apologize! He was dying, in a dying dream, she came to him. If you're of a religious bent, after she died, her angel came to him to help him cross over.

I loved this story. To Skruff101 our universe is infinite. Anyone who dismisses out of hand the possibility of an afterlife is as ignorant as anyone who believes we are completely alone in this infinite universe.

Quite original and a good fantasy of thoughts in the afterlife where ideas and regrets carried over along with love.

Afterlife? Some have faith there is and some have faith there isn’t. Neither can prove it and yet some on both sides turn their nose up at the others. The religious folk with their nose up in the air are ironically pathetic. The atheists with their nose up in the air are just hilarious.

Good one!

And why is she begging for forgiveness? She didn't leave her lover willingly. She was still with him when she died.

The bitch was merely trying to hedge her bets.

Very unique, the ambiguity of the story leaves us all to wander what was real. Was he hallucinating, did she really say all that, did she really return for forgiveness or due to her paramour dumping a very sick slut? Some real skillful writing here - only at the very end did we understand this was from the mind of a grieving man in the last dyeing throws of a C19 death (however, never directly stated), pure skill.

*

As I can see most of the readers ratings are low due to the lack of gratuitous sex and the need for the reader to look beyond their nose into the depths of the intended story. A mark of a writing craftsperson in the making!

*

6* Hooyah, salute!

So the cheating whore infected him and killed them both?

This was short, sweet, and ultimately "means" whatever you *think* it means.

Finish the story my god a 2 at best.

good middle of some story.

Man.... that ended with the abruptness of a car and a concrete wall.

Liked it ... a lot! So much time missing between the break up and death. Ironicaly,

Time flys for mere mortals, does it not??? This worked for me.

Her ghost visited him to ask forgivness before he died in the same hospital.

Begs the question... how long were they both sick? Stunning, deap, ending!!

Thumbs up! :)

Nah! This storyline does not ring any bells for me.

Way too trite.

It’s not often that I finish reading, asking myself: ‘what’s the point, why bother?’ Yet that is exactly where I am with this story. It’s not even long enough to wonder for more than a few seconds.

What????

I thought this was a good story line but way to short.

"But I also know that angels of my kind might not be allowed there. Moral, classy men like you are."

Is she mocking him because he stayed loyal to her while she acted like a totally heartless bitch? What's the point of writing such a pos?

GREAT ENDING! Very clever very excellent very very timely.

Excellent

Confusing pile of garbage! Short but NOT sweet!

Very “Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge”. I liked it!

I do hope she is right and they will be separated for eternity. He goes to a wonderful heaven with maybe the "old" her or better and she burns in hell, alone.

Now you just have to explain to me where the "extra-marital fun" was, which is supposed to be the basis of "LW". Your story leaves me deeply saddened. I actually wanted to be cheered up. I have no objection to the story as such, but the pandemic is already making sad thoughts ?!

Below average. This needs a story to go with this creative start.

Feels a bit like a train wreck ending. Ouch. I demands/deserves a rewrite.

Good short story and not difficult to follow. Thanks.

I assume it was COVID, so I hope Sean caught it too. Another top tier story.

wrong ending!

ummm, no. You really should mess with your readers. First of all I have too many questions that you as a writer should have answered. It was lazy writing at best, and ruined what could have been a good story. You're a better writer than cheap trick nonsense like this.

**I did not get it. Sorry

no beginning, curious middle and baffling ending

You got some splainin to do! Ch 2?? Or are you just another writer in here that doesn't know how to "FINISH THE DAMN STORY" Put FTDS in the Author index lookup and see how many stories he had to finish!

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLL SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIT/chick text crap. I'm still pissed that I read it. !

hope that bitch burns in hell

So ... as far as I could understand, what Jim may have had was a supernatural experience, perhaps as a touch of near-death experience (of him) or near death, where the spirit of his "beloved" comes to him, and apologizes for breaking his heart by leaving with the idiot.

I made this reading by joining the fact that she said that in a way she was no longer with the idiot and hoped to be reconciled with Jim, in eternity. But that "girls like her" wouldn't have that right. Good men like him, yes. (Probable reference to her going to live in Hell).

The "strange clothes", the switch off and the doctor mourning the death of Jim, long after the traitorous ex-wife. It marked my line of reasoning.

Covid-19???!!! The story is from May / 2020. Who will know ...

Three stars. It was average. I thought the proposal was cool. Some will believe that it is not finished. But in my view, nothing more needs to be said.

Well ... that is merely my opinion.

And I don't live in an English-speaking country.

1 star - it made little sense

She cheated and gave her hubby aids or a disease. Both died

The story needs an definitive end, the way it ended was without clarity. In my book this is an unfinished story. As one commenter said "Finish The Dam Story".

Not unfinished. This story was just right.

Angela came to Jim as an "angel" to express her heartfelt sorrow and regret. This is genuine contrition, not the variety someone expresses only after they've been caught. They both died too soon, from an infection, before Angela could reconnect with her true love in their mortal lives. It's really a beautifully tragic thought.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

So 2 healthy married people in their 30s presumably die an hour apart from covid I assume. Chances of that age group dying are so small unless both has serious underlying conditions that could have killed them anyways. I know this is a different universe but ses like some facts should be permanent. I say the above as I am an actuary for a life office and I know the mortality rates ...its my job. TC