by Indigo21
Loved the story, but ending was too tragic and left us in suspense. As a romance I expected some form of happy ending or closure to the story. Does Ari move on? Find someone else? fall in love again?
The story itself was great but I think you should rewrite the ending, I personally hate when stories end badly. you could also write another chapter where the friend comforts her and helps her with the baby and eventually they fall in love and live happily ever after.
this ending sucked! you killed a beautiful story when you killed Mark. Boooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree. The story is great. Being a huge fan of happy endings, I abhor this one, but it's an ending none the less. Must admit it was rather unexpected. I feel like I just lost rent money on the slots. But either way, extremely well written.
The first chapter was great, but the way you ended this one really ruined it. I think you can see that by comparing the rating of the first chapter to this one. I hope you fix it by writing a 3rd chapter. toby9790.
You are one hell of a crappy writer. With am ending like that it needs to be moved out of the romance category.
Too much long tiresome sex got in the way of the story. You should have cut the sex by 2/3rds, and extended the story by triple. It could have been good, but you botched it.
I have never given 1 star until now! After reading chapter 2 of your series, all I can say is that you may need a lot more luck to succeed, because this story shows how an author can destroy his/her chance to have a following.
I will never favor you
Burninglove