by Saintisidore
the first chapter had no background and rushed the making up part the second and third chapters were good. if you rewrote the first chapter giving some needed background and stretched out the period between the fight and the make up it would be real good. as is the bad first chapter drags it down the first chapter should have been twice as long. also you need to use a good editor before posting way to many STUPID errors like wrong words and missing words. don't give up but use a good editor from now on and think about a rewrite for this series.
Anom please don't try to get a rewrite on anything. This is what the writer wants not what you want. If you don't like what's there don't read it and don't comment it shows your igornance and lack of talent. This is a very good story. It is well writen and tells the story quite well. Keep up the good work and just ignore anom as they can't even put a name down when they critisize.
I agree the other guy your tales are good I have read all your work and liked all of the stories and am hoping for a fourth for this one
deffinetly needs a rewrite like said before there was no background and a rush to make up and sex. you used a lot of wrong words and there are a lot of missing words. if you had used a good editor before posting it could have been a good story. time for a total rewrite fixing this could have been a good story with some better character buildup and a slower plot buildup it also needs a better and longer end. what you posted in three pages should be ATLEAST six pages long, two pages per chapter, getting to the same place in each chapter just giving more detail and spreading it out more.
this reads like you took a book and ripped out every other chapter. you have plot holes big enough to drive a truck through and no background or character development. the story is rushed making it unrealistic and the writing is sloppy. delete the series and do a rewrite using a good editor or ghost writer THEN AND ONLY THEN WILL IT BE WORTHY OF POSTING.
It's wonderful to see a brother and sister getting along so well--so very well, that Pete's got his hard young cock up his sister Christine's cute little cunt more than it's just hanging between his legs. Christine wants her hunky brother to fuck a baby up her cunt, and Pete, good-natured boy that he is, is more than willing. But Pete's got plenty of creamy sperm in his young balls, and the commenter is right--it's time for the boy to fuck a baby up his mother's cunt as well. Then Pete, the grinning smirking young family fucker, can watch as his sis's and his mom's bellies get bigger and bigger with his babies.
Sorry, but before I bang any girl, she has to suck my cock.
To show me how she likes to have sex, slow or fast, deep or shallow.
Not to mention if she'll spit or swallow. Finally if she doesn't suck, I ask her to 69.
That always works. After I eat her she eats me, simple.
I wonder why so many stories require a blow job to service their lady.
Similarly most videos show a not quite firm dick needing a suck off to attain even close to pleasurable proportions.
Always seem less than acceptable to me.
Do like your stories Saintisidore, they surely do the job without blow jobs.
As aways 5*
It is a shame that this story like so many others on this site never give the reader a real ending, just as the story gets good and starts moving towards that happily ever after it stops.