All Comments on 'Siblings Ch. 01: First Time'

I really enjoyed that, keep going with more stories.

It's well written for a first story. It just lacks originality - there is little to distinguish this story from a hundred others just like this. And you could replace brother/sister with boyfriend/girlfriend and the story wouldn't have to change at all.

You have the skill, I just prefer creative scenarios and an original plot.

I wholeheartedly agree with Jessica's. Way too vanilla. Keep trying. You show some potential.

A nice beginning between brother and sister ...... experimenting will be fun and teach them a lot. Of course, doing it at home will allow more opportunities. I hope they both continue to get chances and learn more and respond quicker and last longer. Cannot wait for more chapters. Thank.

Both are young and naive.

Sharing a special act between two individuals that care for each other.

They have shared the most private and person act.

Hope they continue.

Watching her perfect ass run up the stairs. How could you not want to share the again.

liked your tale but I remember when My wife first got together we were both virgin

and there was blood and she walked funny the next morning. That was 49 years

ago.

Are they even attracted to each other?

Maybe, maybe not.

Fun story Spaniard! I have a few comments regarding believability. I had to learn these lesson the hard way, so thought I'd share:

1. Scenario: Incest happens, but it's uncommon, and rarely plays out innocently. As such, incest erotica stories have a higher believability bar to pass then your more genetic wish-fulfillment erotica. You can address this one of two ways: you can abandon believability ("My slutty twin sisters can't get enough of me!", "I caught my brother fucking mom, now I need his dick too!"), or you can try to find ways to make your scenario believable. Two adult siblings alone at night, exploring each other, strains credulity, as anyone with a sibling will tell you. If you want to take a stab at believability, try to find a reason your characters would be behaving in this manner besides being alone and horny. Your characters have lived together for 18 years. Why are they suddenly screwing? Justify it through unique scenarios, character motivation, and/or happy accidents. Make your reader believe that your characters copulating is the natural conclusion to the situation those specific individuals find themselves in.

2. Sex: Make your sex scene match your scenario. If you want your characters to be virgins, reflect that in the type of sex they have. I can tell you with certainty that my first sexual experience did not involve me touching my partner's anus, or either of us pleasuring ourselves during the act, and I doubt yours did either. A man faced with a sexual partner for the first time, who has spread her legs and is ready, isn't going to go down on his partner. He's going to be too scared to screw it up, or too anxious to get going. If you want a sex scene with multiple sex acts and scenarios outside of just missionary sex, make sure your scenario justifies it. A few extra dares in your Truth or Dare game could have gotten you partly there, or in writing your story you may have discovered a more realistic sex scene worked better for you. Keep in mind that when a women loses her virginity, there are elements to that you need to address. It can (and almost always does) hurt. There will most likely be a mess. She will certainly want to step into the bathroom for a moment. If you ignore these things, your readers will notice.

I enjoyed the little details you put into your story: Tom's penis not being particularly large, Tom ejaculating prematurely, Lucy not being shaved. These add to the realism. If you write a story about a guy with a foot-long cock and have a sex scene with ten different positions you'll find an audience, but most of your readers will be rolling their eyes. You've clearly steered away from that. With a few tweaks, I think you can bring your stories that extra level of realism that'll make your readers forget how unlikely these scenarios really are, so they can get lost in the fantasy.

The guidance given by Yossarian67 is so essential and important that it ought to be transformed to some kind of sticky easily available to read for all prospective authors in this category.

Strange tale, you missed out what you both looked like, and why do you wait till being 18/19 before showing your bodies to each other, damn i was 14/15 and perving over my sisters and mom.

So you were both virgins, damn that girl would av screamed and bled but i like the bit where you lost control n spunked over her belly but no way would you go soft, you would of stayed rock hard and who the fuck on their first fuck licks a pussy oh and gets head !!

This wasnt that good so only gave you 1*

Think about things first, set it out, and try to be real but still believable too, try to capture the imagination of the reader, get an editor, or better still get a woman to read it first as its with no doubt your a bloke, cheers anynow.o

Spoiled by the crap about the pill he should have just pushed is cock in as deep as it would go and shot his cum deep up inside her unprotected pussy

This is story land no VD or babies

Great story, you were able to convey a clear picture of two young people learning about sex. Was your story perfect? No. Is life perfect? No. Good story please continue to write. Thank you for your efforts.