Silky Strand of Submission

I have been running this tantalizing long piece of black silk ribbon through my hands for what feels like hours, although it has only been a few moments, tentatively... ever so carefully...

I know what it is used for, and I know the wonderful, yet painful feelings associated with it, albeit wonderfully painful feelings. This long piece of sensual yet beautiful silk is meant to wrap tightly around one's wrists... no, not a bracelet meant for a glamorous night out (although that would be fun...), it is meant to wrap tightly around both wrists, with one knot uniting them in the middle, together (and typically behind the back). I know what you might be thinking... this girl is literally crazy, why in the world is she talking about getting tied up?! But, give me a chance to explain... Yes, that is exactly what I am talking about, and no, I am not talking about going to jail...

This is a feeling that I know rather well, however it has not always been that way. I remember the first time that I had this silky sweet ribbon tied around my wrists. I remember the feeling of it gracing the hairs on my arms, leaving me with goosebumps on my skin, and butterflies in my stomach... then feeling the tension that the person standing above me was created by pulling the ends in opposite directions to create a lovely little knot. My heartbeat quickly... I was nervous, yet bursting with excitement and so many questions. How in the world did I end up here... kneeling on the floor in front of someone with my hands being tied? Had it not been my choice to be there, it would be something out a nightmare, but I chose to be there. It was my decision, and not a single other person's. No one knew I was there, no one knew I was with the handsome young man standing above me. No one knew I was being tied up by his large, strong calloused hands...

As the black silk ribbon reached a tight knot and restricted all the movement I had in my arms all the way down to the tips of my red painted fingernails, I knew things had only begun. I was relinquishing control over myself, my surroundings, and to a certain extent, my body. This was a feeling that enticed me... the feeling of having no control over my surroundings and myself was intriguing, it always had been to me. You see, I know most people's worst fear is losing control over their environment, but I view it as something that is wonderful... wonderfully uncommon, and something that should be treasured if given the opportunity.

I have always been labeled by every. single. person. around me to be a "type A control freak," and to some extent, they are correct. However, there is another side to me, and frankly, I believe, to anyone who strives to have that much control over every aspect of their life. There is another side: the side that desires the lack of control in some aspects of their life, whether that be in the bedroom or somewhere else. For me... that place of desire and no control lies in the bedroom.

You see, there is something beautiful about having no power or control. Pressures from society, others, and yourself melt away, just as a piece of ice running over one's arm in the summertime quickly melts and drips down to meet the green grass. You are not held to the high standards of controlling everything that is surrounding you, and you, by no means, have as many pressures as you do in daily life, and for so many reasons... that is fantastically refreshing.

Is it scary? Short answer: yes.

Well, isn't everything a bit scary?

So yes, I will admit, when that luxurious piece of silk first graced my wrists, I was a bit scared, however, my fears melted just as quickly as they appeared the moment that I first felt that true feeling of no control, but in some ways, I had even more control than before. You see, that is the beauty of it. Although it feels like you have no control, and in most ways, you do not, you still have mental control over yourself, and that is perhaps the most powerful and clarity-inducing feeling in the world. Only having to focus on your mental control over your own thoughts is an incredible experience. You see, you do not have to control your body, because that is the other person's job... you only have to focus on your thoughts.

In my opinion, that is a luxury. It is an absolute blessing to be able to set all other parts of life aside and only focus on your internal thoughts. That is not something that is easy to come by these days. It most certainly teaches you more about yourself than anything else does.

That piece of silk that is tied taught around my wrist represents so much to me.

Quite frankly, it does not represent a single sexual aspect of my life (although it may sound like it to someone who has not experienced this feeling). That long piece of ultra-soft silk that resembles a ribbon is much more a symbol of personal growth and a focus on oneself. It is a symbol of focusing on the mind, and of personal growth within oneself, rather than personal growth defined by the people around you.

There is an extremely clarifying feeling to be standing up, wrists wrapped with silk, eyes covered, goosebumps ever-present, without a single other sound or outside stimulation except for your mind. Yes, I know, there is someone else involved, but not in the beginning. Those first few moments are completely yours. Those are the most crystal-clear moments I have experienced in my life. The moments where, yes, I have no control over anything around me, but... I have control over myself and my thoughts, and that is a learned art. The first time that ribbon tied around my wrists, I did not know how to feel, and I was very nervous and a bit scared. I did not know that I would soon achieve some of the most peaceful and empowering moments in my life, but there I stood, in compete awe...

Unmitigated awe of the capability I had to quiet every single part of the world, except my own thoughts. I would argue it parallels the feeling of meditation (although I can honestly and confidently say that this feeling is more than 100x better). That feeling is empowering. The feeling of utter control over your brain, which is something that we have been taught since we were young that it is impossible to control, is incredible.

So why... why does personal power require personal relinquishment of power to someone other than myself?

I am not quite sure, but I do know that it works... it works like magic, silky, sensual magic.