Silver Fox Pt. 01

I had images of him pressing me back against the bed or of being on my knees in front of him, blowing him while he made sounds of pleasure above me. For that last one, the thing that really turned me on was the thought of looking up at him and getting to see him look down at me, getting to see that silver in his hair from a different kind of angle while he stroked my hair, his eyes alight with that pleasure and approval when he gave it so effectively.

Of course, I kind of had an idea where some of these adventurous fantasies were coming from, besides my erotica inspirations. One thing about having been married was how repetitive the sex had gotten. It'd been good sex at first, don't get me wrong, but it'd been a routine and extremely vanilla kind after a while. Now that I was free and I was apparently having this kind of reaction, I kind of wanted to know a little more about that aspect of life.

Like I said, though, I was actually shy and boring as all bloody fuck. I was vanilla as hell with my past experiences and I didn't take the reins on anything, ever. I liked it that way.

Still, sometimes life takes mercy on a subservient type of person. It's almost like the powers that be recognize how that kind of person just isn't going to get the ball rolling on their own life and realizes that a push has to be made, an external event.

For me, that external event was a living nightmare to rival Ozymandias the cat. Her name was Isabelle. It was actually me who ended up asking her for some help, believe it or not, but I can't take any kind of credit, like none. See, by that time, I had gotten to know Isabelle really well over the course of those first months, when the only other thing of note was my run-ins with him.

And Isabelle... Let's just say Isabelle had a very interesting life and a personality that made it very hard to be shy.

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The night I finally got up some courage to indulge in a little of my extremely buried adventurous spirit, I made her drink as soon as she set down, since she always got the same thing and she watched in an approval that made my people pleasing nature happy. "God, Essie, I never thought I'd have a second favorite bartender in life, but you're it."

"Second?" I feigned playful outrage because Isabelle loved a little bratty flirting and her girlfriend, Kody, didn't mind. "How dare you. I'm second?"

She laughed. "Yeah, but it's not a personal factor. I've just known the other one for a lot longer than I've known you." She took a drink and Isabelle liked her drinks strong. Her face twisted just the slightest amount, just enough to hint that it was liquor in her glass and not soda. "Mm, that's fucking amazing. So, I had a client this past weekend. It was a man who wanted to emulate lion sex, except with me as the male cat and him as the female."

I leaned against the bar. "Oh, do tell." Because I loved hearing Isabelle's stories. She was a dominatrix escort and Kody was the submissive girlfriend that she was madly in love with. I loved hearing anything about it, if I'm being honest. Like I said, I was so damned boring and, as any girl with adventure hidden in her spirit can tell you, we do, at the very least, enjoy hearing stories, even if they make us blush sometimes. "What's lion sex like?"

She grinned. "No idea. I don't actually have a barbed cock, but I thought I did pretty well wrestling him into submission with a strap-on."

"Was he a good boy?" Asking that question gave me this little thrill and it was one of those things that was making all those hidden curiosities want to explore all the more. Maybe not a lot, but a little, you know? I heard all these stories and loved them and read all this erotica and had this fascination. It was just this kind of torment that I was, by nature, incapable of doing much about it.

"He was a very good boy and I made sure to tell him that."

I had to laugh at how secure she was. It was the kind of thing that made me feel warm and happy, especially on those nights when I got to see her with her girlfriend, Kody. Because Kody was downright adorable and over the month or so that I'd gotten to talk with them, Kody was the one who made me want to get out more, actually. She was shy, like me, and she loved to make people happy. One time, she'd rested her head on Isabelle's shoulder and quietly told me, "It's why I like submissive sex. I can make someone happy and be rewarded with... very good kinds of touch. There's no doubt on whether I did the right thing or touched them the way they liked, no insecurities that kill the mood."

The two of them made this cute image too. Isabelle was as dark haired as Kody was blonde. Kody was smaller and bowed her head while Isabelle stood tall in her heeled boots, meeting the world with her eyes.

Sure, it was weird, but I was a bartender. I was okay with weird and I could say that this was one of the more honest types of weird I'd seen in life. I think it was that, in the end, that made me finally ask a question. Just one question and by then it actually didn't take as much courage as might be expected, especially with the encouragement from Kody. It was even easier when Isabelle had already teased me about how submissive I behaved sometimes, and she would know. Like I said, I can't take credit for the moment when the person it involved was so much my opposite. I think I was more along the lines of collateral damage. "Hey, Isabelle. Can I ask you something?"

She nodded. "Sure, I'll answer if I can."

I hesitated and then just asked it. "Let's say that someone wanted to be called a 'good girl', but didn't know exactly where to start. Do you know a place to... I don't know, meet people? Talk or try things out?"

I knew that there were places like that. Anyone who'd been on an internet forum could tell you that, but I just didn't know where those places would be, exactly. Isabelle's smile was less of her raucous kind and more gentle. "Not easy for you to ask that, huh?"

"Absolutely not, but I want to enjoy being divorced and the guy next door keeps inspiring bad thoughts."

She grinned. "Mmm, your older, tattooed silver fox next door, you mean. That's hot, by the way, and we all know it. The ones with age are the ones who know how to work their fingers, if you know what I mean." I had to laugh because, yes, I'd definitely confessed to her some of those moments when I'd been talking with Kody on what submission felt like for her. "Cheers to that, kitten. And I do know places, as it so happens. I have a favorite, actually. It's not exactly the type of place you would go to for just starting out with things, but everyone there is pretty amazing and they're all protective about their own. It's a little on the deep end side of things, but if you feel brave and up to it, it worked for Kody. Maybe you'll like it, too."

Oh, Lord. I didn't entirely know what the "deep end of things" entailed, but it sounded like something I should probably brace for. I laughed, feeling absolutely terrified, but endlessly curious after all the stories I'd heard Isabelle tell. "I don't... Oh, man. Okay, I didn't even think I'd get this far. Yeah. Yeah, I want... I want to know a little bit more."

Isabelle beamed and there was so much pride in it that it made me feel like I could walk on air. It made me feel warm, from my head to my toes in so much happiness. "Good girl."

That sealed it for me. There was this basic happiness that I got just from the words, in the same way that Kody sometimes talked about how basically happy it made her. It went with the feeling I sometimes got from having a person come to the bar, looking like they'd had a rough day, and being able to make them smile again. It went with that basic pleasure in something like dragging a string across the ground and seeing Ozzy pounce on it, his ears flattened and his tail waving in playfulness. "Wow." I grinned, looking down. "Okay, I'm still scared, but after hearing Kody talk about it..."

Isabelle's eyes had a different, more protective set in them when she looked at me, as if I was one of her charges now. It was the same way a relationship with anyone might change for certain moments, though, and didn't feel as awkward as I would have thought. I remembered moments from being married, when his eyes would turn different over me, too, how it hadn't felt like a good thing. It had felt like, and ended up being, a bad thing, actually. But Isabelle? Isabelle was up front and open about her controlling tendencies. She gave them an outlet in a way that she said felt far more safe and negotiated. "It does feel pretty special sometimes, but, hey, it's also not always for everyone. But it doesn't hurt to find out, either. Just before I even take you, I'll tell you now that you don't even have to do anything when we go there. There's a bar there and you can just talk to people. Sometimes, people go there even when they don't want to play like that, but you'll definitely see naked people and people playing, too. Also, latex. You'll see just, like, so much latex. It's great."

I laughed. "I appreciate the forewarning. So, what are things like when people just play out in the open like that?"

She grinned. "Hotter than hell. Everyone loves some exhibition fun. You can't get in without someone with a card to take you, unless it's a designated open door night, but Kody and I both have a card, so you're good in that way. It just means that you have to stay with us, if you choose that option. Since it's a little bit of a harder place, that setup just ensures a certain kind of safety to the edgeplay."

"Edgeplay?"

"It's just harder play styles, the kind that might become unsafe if they get out of hand. We like safety. Safety is good. So long as you're okay with that, then we're good."

I laughed again, and it was breathless this time. "Oh, yeah, no, I don't want to wander by myself, actually. That's perfect."

"Calm down, kitten. It's just meeting people and it'll be fun. They're really cool and you can meet my first favorite bartender actually. Oh, one other thing." Her eyes sparkled with some mischief, a sense of playfulness. "I get to dress you when we go."

"Oh, dear God. You really want to push an introvert to their limits, don't you? Okay. Okay, yeah."

She had this look of excitement. "I would never push any limits. How dare you accuse me? I'm just going to make you look gorgeous, thank you. Speaking of all this, I actually have to take Kody tonight. Sometimes, she has desires I can't fulfill."

That made me curious. "Like, for cock?" Another thing? After a few months of hanging around Isabelle, I felt like I was getting more vulgar.

She laughed. "No, actually. She can live without that, as it turns out. For... er." She glanced at me, then smiled. "Pain, actually. I'm a Domme, but I'm not a sadist and the kinds of pain she sometimes wants makes me a little... uncomfortable. We have friends there, though, who already know about it and can give it to her."

"Wow." I swallowed. "I need to process all that before giving any kind of answer." Sweet little Kody, pain, sadism, Domme, and me being involved with this conversation in general caught up to me around that point.

Isabelle winked. "They're all really nice, I promise. Well, unless you don't want them to be." That last, she said in a lurid little voice that calmed me quite a bit, with how it made me giggle.

"Pain. Um. Can I message both of you and ask questions? I'm going to be honest and confess that my mind just went kind of dead and, you know, that's awkward, so..."

Isabelle burst into laughter over her drink. "Oh, see, it's moments like these that make me so freaking excited for this now. You're going to be so much fun. Of course you can."

Sometimes in life, the phrase "ask and you shall receive" proves more true than ever. If I'd have known quite what I'd be getting into when I set a date to go to the place she knew - and she wisely made me choose a day and time right then and there, so I couldn't easily weasel my way out when the cowardice took over - I'd have never done it.

One conversation, but it was a conversation with a Domme named Isabelle and Isabelle was interesting. Isabelle knew a lot about an underground world that had gotten my attention while I was married. I started out with books, lurid books about domination, where a male top would kiss his playmate and tell her how sweet she was when she obeyed, books about girls who couldn't figure out why some things didn't make sense in their lives and it felt like a modern day Prince Charming story when she found the guy and he was a Dom who could command her and give her a sense of structure in life. It made me sigh happily, with how romantic it was. Sometimes it seemed strange to me, but it almost seemed to hold hands with that soft part of me that loved to watch Fiddler on the Roof or Guys and Dolls, that quiet side.

It was something that seemed to speak with me enough that it made me curious about more of that world. Maybe it was all just my inner romance and maybe it was just something that people did to scratch an itch, something that didn't have the deeper meaning I was placing to it. But I felt like I wouldn't know if I didn't find out more.

I'd been called sexually frigid enough times by my ex that I was insecure enough to, hilariously, get over the insecurities that came with being so shy. I did have a brief fear that learning more about this would only prove to me that I really was frigid, but the way I'd been masturbating lately, with thoughts of him, seemed to suggest that some things turned me on. The way I enjoyed those stories and books, quietly and by myself, seemed to show something was there.

I wanted to know what it was. Maybe it would be a good thing about myself.

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Jackson

"Oh, please!"

Her name was Kody and she wasn't actually my submissive. She was the partner of the dominatrix across from me, Isabelle.

"Easy." I stroked my hand over her thighs, smoothing over the strap marks I'd left so far. She had these cute lacy, black panties that matched her bra and I trailed my hand between her legs, over that so thin fabric, evoking a very different cry than the one of pain, one that made me smile with the feel of how drenched she was. I shushed over Kody, and she was restrained, bent forward, over a bondage table in Sulfur's fetish club. "You're doing so well for me. What was the count?"

She took a breath for a moment, then whispered. "Twenty, sir."

"Good girl." I struck the belt across her ass again and she shrieked in pain, a sound that always made me burn. Lately, it had been making me burn so much that it made me uncomfortable, actually. The sounds that came from giving a submissive pain, specifically, made my blood hotter with a power trip, so much so that I hadn't gotten off in months while playing these games.

They were part of the reason why I didn't want to anymore, even if they were sexually intense, even if I was hard as hell for the scent of sex and the feel of Kody vibrating in submission. See, the power trip being tethered with my arousal meant that if I got off, this kind of trip would be "released" with the arousal in some way. Like I said, for me it had gotten to the point that I didn't want to release the domination energy I got from giving pain. I wanted to bask in it, so much so that it was better than any orgasm.

Kody fueled me with more of it with her soft, whimpering count, "21, sir."

"Good girl." That time, it was Isabelle to say it and her voice was far more distant than mine was. My sadism was pure, tempered only by my conscience. The end result was that I wanted the pain I gave to be enjoyed. It was my form of affection, in the same way that other people might give a hug, so I warmed the pain I gave with words of pleasure. I wanted my hugs, so to speak, to be liked.

Isabelle was more of an exacting mistress, on the other hand. She clasped her hand on the back of Kody's neck so that her sub trembled in subspace, flying on ecstasy. It was a joy of being a male sadist who was a bartender and DM in a fetish club, that couples like Isabelle and Kody came to me for pain needs because, for instance, Isabelle wasn't as much on the topic of giving pain. She just didn't have the proclivity for it, but she cared about her little submissive and wanted to make sure she had her needs met.

I struck the belt again, feeling the vibration up my arm, that energy reaction that came from when an implement connected on impact. I equated that feeling with dominance of a kind that made me stand straighter, made me be... more. In general, it made all of me, every last particle, into more. "22, sir!"

Isabelle crouched to kiss her submissive, caressing a hand through her hair while I stroked my marks again. I was leaving beautiful marks, too, reddening lines that were spaced nice and even, ones that made me feel a little proud of myself. "How pretty you look with your new strap marks to decorate you. I think you'll enjoy them."

There was this magical sensation of control that came with standing over a restrained and forced prone submissive, the sensation of stroking over them and feeling them tremble. I soothed the pain I was giving, so horny and so unwilling to do anything about it anymore. Orgasm was fun, but power was the long lasting addiction that lingered like a drug in the bloodstream. My petting had an undercurrent of condescension to it and Isabelle lifted back, tapping her sub's cheek in a small, gentle slap. "What do you say to him for his kindness in making sure your marks are pretty?"

"Th-thank you, sir."

"You're welcome. Deep breaths. You can take more for me." I whipped the belt, nice and hard to the sound of her cry, delighting in it. Sounds of pain were like music for me. Each one was so different and each one was evoked differently. If you struck lower on the thighs, it hurt more and the reaction was different in tone. It felt like composing for me, like an art, where I made my playmate sing a song so gorgeous.

"23, sir!"

"How pretty." It felt like standing in a freezer in some ways, the way my mind turned cold and the world slowed until it felt like everything was in a transcendent kind of sight. I'm not good at explaining it sometimes, but it felt like a form of zen magic that you only saw in movies, a perfect equilibrium and serenity. It felt like the sniper in Jarhead breathing out steadily in anticipation to see the pink mist, maybe. It was this excited, slow thrumming of the heart pumping equally slow, steady arousal through the veins. "A little more." I snapped the belt and it made a crack sound in counterpoint to the cry of pain. Isabelle grasped her sub's throat and I smiled. There really wasn't anything quite like sending a submissive tumbling into that magical place of subspace by clasping a hand around the throat in the way a wolf would lock its teeth in a threat around the throat of a pack mate to force it into submission. Even being near it made me feel... animal.

"24, sir! Oh, please! Please, it hurts."

"One more." I soothed my palm over the marks again. Kody wasn't a hard pain player, but every now and again, Isabelle said she started getting antsy and some pain therapy soothed her back down into happy submission. And her whole body vibrated beneath me with anticipation. "Such a brave girl you are."

"Oh, please..." She pant in a little fear and that fear intensified when Isabelle tightened her hand.

"Be good, kitten."

"Listen to your mistress and lift your ass back up for the last one. We'll make it count, beautiful thing." Kody was shaking in fear when I gently clasped a hand at her waist and lifted her back to position, nice and easy. It was a Dom's job to make sure they gave encouragement when needed and I was... perhaps an odd sort of sadist and Dom. Well, sadist more than a dominant, but I truly wanted my pain to be enjoyed and I wanted to be as soft and gentle as could be to that end. I wanted to hurt... and adore.